Chapter Fifteen

Yasmin shook out her arms after she reached the top. She was sweating from the exertion but couldn’t remove her jacket to cool off and risk losing the body heat she had acquired. There was a brief moment when she looked out over the vista and could believe she was the only person on the realm. Sometimes, she wished that were true.

The sound of small rocks tumbling made her turn around. She spotted Ravi as he crested the top and straightened to his full height.

He came toward her, stopping inches away so she had to crane her head to look at him. “I wouldn’t suggest double-crossing me.”

“No one likes being threatened, and that’s exactly what you and your people have done to me from the beginning.”

His copper eyes hardened. “Lives are at stake.”

“So you’ve said. Repeatedly.”

“Don’t you understand the importance of what we’re doing?”

She wanted to step back to put some distance between them, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how his nearness unsettled her. “Does it surprise you that, indeed, I do? I think perhaps better than most. I know the kinds of guests who visit Shaldorn. I know their depravity and debauchery. I know exactly how they would get off on the chaos of a dragon invasion, all while staying safely tucked away somewhere a battle wouldn’t touch them.”

“You gave your word. That means something to you.”

Yasmin looked at the sky to see the first glimmers of sunlight peaking over the horizon. “I’ve spent the last four years doing my best to forget my time at that place. I tucked those memories away and fought each time they tried to rise. I’ve moved on.”

“And we pulled you back in,” he said softly.

Her gaze swung back to him. Anger churned, but she kept it leashed. “I’ll get you there. I’ll make sure you’re inside. I’ll detail every floor and room. I’ll even wait for you to bring you back. But I ~will not~ go in,” she said, shaking her head. “No disguise will prevent them from discovering me. And when they do…” She shivered, unable to finish the sentence.

The tension eased from Ravi’s shoulders. “I can protect you.”

“Don’t make such promises. No one can protect me from those elves. Besides, your focus is on finding the device.” Yasmin cleared her throat and tried to shift the subject. “Shouldn’t you have a partner or something?”

His copper gaze slid away. “I did. Once.”

If he could pry into her past, she could do the same with him. “What happened?”

“I learned that I work better alone.”

“Exactly,” she said, seizing his words. “I’ll guide you there and back, but I’ll be a hindrance inside. As you said, you don’t want to bring attention to yourself. You even said that I could wait for you.”

He cut her a dry look. “I take it that’s the lake.”

Yasmin faced the valley and looked down at the frozen water. It was thick enough and the same white as the snow, so it could be mistaken for ground instead of ice. She wouldn’t have known had the stones not told her. “That’s it.”

“It’s difficult to tell how big it is.”

She pointed to the right. “Do you see where the rocks rise up at the base of the mountain?”

“Aye.”

She then pointed to the left. “Do you see the trees that look like they’re in a line?”

“I do.”

“That is how wide the lake is.”

He mumbled something beneath his breath that sounded like a curse, then looked down, leaning over a boulder that sat hip-high. “I take it the lake comes all the way to us?”

“Aye.” She eyed him. “There’s no skirting it. I might have left that out earlier. There is still time for us to backtrack and take another path.”

“We’re here. We’ll take this one.” He swiveled his head to her. “How are we getting across?”

She shrugged one shoulder. “The safest bet is to stick close to the edges where the ice will be the thickest. We’d save a little time going straight across, but I don’t know if the possible danger is worth it.”

“It isn’t. Let’s stick to the edges,” he said as he eyed the lake.

She noted that he was squinting. “Is your head still bothering you?”

“A little.”

That made her frown. Hers had stopped hurting. His should have by now, as well. “Do you need to rest? Take some of the herbs?”

“I’m fine for now,” he told her.

Yasmin nodded and began carefully picking her way down. It was a short descent. The real problem was the lake. She paused before stepping onto the ice. She slowly put her foot down, then shifted her weight. On her second step, she slipped. She windmilled her arms to regain her balance before she fell.

Her heart was thudding against her ribs when she finally righted herself. She looked up to find Ravi watching her, a deep frown furrowing his brow. “I’m fine,” she told him. “I just had to find my footing.”

“I’ll keep some distance between us,” he replied.

She began inching over the ice and then raised a hand to let him know she had heard. Her ears strained to listen for any sounds of breaking ice, but so far, she only heard her breath and her boots shuffling across the lake. A glance ahead showed she had a long way to go before she reached the other side. If she didn’t have to walk so cautiously, she could be across the ice quickly. Her real issue was not being close to the rocks. She might be able to distantly hear their song, but she had to touch them to really hear what they said. And without them, she’d have no warning of danger.

Yasmin looked over her shoulder. Ravi was about fifteen paces behind her. He kept his attention on the ice and took slow, measured steps. He had seemed sincere about his promise to protect her, but no one could do that. Only she could. It had always fallen to her. Things had gone very wrong the times she had put her trust in someone else.

It was Ravi who had first broached the subject of her waiting outside Shaldorn for him. And she would take him up on the offer. He had said it, and he couldn’t go back on it now. There was nothing he could say or do, no threats or promises he could make, that would make her step foot in that place again. Death awaited her there. She was already testing fate by returning to the mountains. Even getting as close to Shaldorn as she needed would be challenging.

There were too many memories there, and none of them good. Those who sought pleasure inside took it from others with a smile as if they were entitled to it simply because of who they were. Shecrish would be better off if all those individuals were wiped from existence. But she knew that wouldn’t stop the cycle. More would step in, and it would begin all over again.

~“We’re each born for a purpose, Yasmin. Yours is to bend to the will of elves in whatever way we decide.”~

The voice of Laboni, the elf who had called herself ~Mother~, filled Yasmin’s head. She jerked, causing her foot to slip. She overcompensated and went down hard on her arse. The sound of ice cracking was deafening.

“Yasmin?”

Her heart thudded against her ribs. What was Laboni’s voice doing in her head?

“Yasmin?!”

She closed her eyes and tried to get ahold of herself. She couldn’t let herself unravel. Not now. Not after so many years.

“Yaz!” Ravi’s voice was getting closer.

“I’m fine.”

There was a long pause. “Is the ice cracking below you?”

Yasmin moved aside some snow on either side of her and shook her head. “I don’t see anything.”

“Crawl slowly away from that area before you get to your feet.”

She gingerly moved to her hands and knees and crawled to the side. She felt a slight pain in her back that would likely cause more discomfort as the day wore on. When she was safely away, she got to her feet and turned to Ravi. “See? I’m fine.”

The doubt on his face said he didn’t believe her.

“We’re halfway there,” she announced and then turned to continue walking.

Yasmin kept her mind focused on getting across the lake so no more intrusive memories from a long-buried past could show up. Walking over the ice was grueling, taking more mental capacity than she had at the moment. At least she didn’t hear any other cracks, which meant the ice just might hold.

Still, it came as a surprise when she reached the edge of the lake. Yasmin happily moved off the ice to stand amid the stones. The first thing she did was remove her glove and put her hand on one. No warning waited for her, just a calming song. She sighed in relief. If she were alone, she would collapse to the ground, but she wasn’t. It wouldn’t do for Ravi to see any weakness from her. As a human, she already had far more than he. There was no need to add to it.

“Are you hurt?”

She turned at the sound of his voice. He stood near enough to reach out and touch her, but he didn’t. She couldn’t ever remember a time when she hadn’t had to stand on her own. Sometimes, like now, the weight was crushing, and she wished she could share it. But that wasn’t her lot. She had accepted things long ago. He wanted to know if she was hurt? She had scars aplenty, but most couldn’t be seen.

But she knew he wasn’t asking about those. He wanted to know about her fall.

“I’ll be sore by tonight, but it won’t slow me down,” she said, putting her glove back on.

He looked away. “We’ve made good time. Let’s rest after this climb.”

Yasmin almost told him she’d be good to press onward, but she realized she wanted a few moments. “All right.”

“You’re pale.”

She sniffed and grabbed a rock to start climbing. “You’re still squinting, which means your head still hurts.”

“I’m fine.”

“So am I,” she retorted.

Nothing more was said as they made the quick ascent to the summit. Yasmin carefully sat on a rock and removed her pack while Ravi turned in a circle to look around.

“I can’t see the rainwood anymore. It’s like we’re on another realm,” he said.

She looked at the clouds above them that looked close enough she could reach out and touch them. “In a way, we are.”

His gaze latched onto her. “The fall hurt more than you want to admit.”

“It startled me.”

“I don’t have to be your enemy, Yaz.”

The only other person who had ever called her that was Neela. It made her think of her friend and how she hadn’t been able to escape with Yasmin. She braced her hands on her knees and dropped her chin to her chest. “I’ll be okay. I hurt some, but nothing that warrants herbs.”

“You’ll let me know if that changes?”

She lifted her head to look at him. She saw real concern on his face, and she didn’t know what to do with that. “Worried about me?” she quipped, needing them to get back to their proper places.

One side of his lips quirked into an almost smile. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Good.”

He moved away to find a seat and took in the view while digging out food. There were only a handful of clouds, letting the sun’s rays find them. She lifted her face and let the warmth sink into her. When a cloud blocked the sun, Yasmin fished out a piece of dried meat. She was still getting used to having something in her stomach for each meal, even if it was the same thing each time. Food was food. Anyone who had gone without was grateful for whatever they could get.

That made her think about the children. She hoped they were all right. Sameer would make sure they were. He was a natural leader. Others gravitated to him. He had an innate charisma that was impossible to ignore. Each of the kids had something special about them, and Yasmin made sure to always point it out. Life had beaten them down, and she undertook the job of building them back up. She wanted them to have a chance at a future. A real one.

The kind she’d never had.

Her thoughts shifted to Ravi’s job offer. He wouldn’t have the final decision. That would likely fall to Durga or even someone above her. The idea of a steady job where she wouldn’t have to worry about coin to purchase food or clothing was thrilling to Yasmin. However, that would mean remaining in Shecrish. She would be working alongside elves, requiring her to trust them. And what if they sent her away for days or weeks at a time? The children had been deserted by others before. She wouldn’t do that to them. For any reason. She would find another way. Somehow.

Yasmin missed the children terribly. It was an ache in her chest. She couldn’t wait to hug each of them and learn everything they had done while she was gone. She hated that she hadn’t gotten to see them before she left, but she would make it up to them.

First, she had to survive Shaldorn.