Red Aim

I sat at window.

Adored a yellow butterfly that sat and flustered it's delicate wings and spoke with me in silence.

What is happening to me?

I rested my head closer to the butterfly. Something in me envy her. She is beautiful, she is yellow dipped in gold, she can fly, she doesn't have the chains to drag her down, she doesn't have a life so long as mine to drown. She will die in an hour or two, in a day if so. There will be questioning. No Hell fire, no heaven. This no greed resides in her nor fear.

"Dear can you lay out the breakfast? " Mrs Kasheefa calls.

I took the tray out. They sat all,tgeir backs straight, head high, knees gathered, their spines erect in parellel lines.

I greeted Al-Hassan as he sat.

"Good morning Miss Falaq-Naaz " Al-Wildan smiled.

"Good Morning Al-Wildan " I smiled back.

"Good morning Al-Shizad " I greeted his grumpy face, he crossed smiled.

"Good morning Al-Wais "

I greeted.

"Good Morning Naaz"

He said.

I halted,my mouth slightly left open hanging in the air, the breaths halted, the spoons before their mouths halted, the servants stopped. The birds chirping in the background stopped. The clock ticked. The silence stayed. He gulped.

"pass me the butter" he said.

Everybody resumed. My hands trembled. I had chills on my spine, my hair standing on my hands.

Nobody dare look at him. He avoided all.

My heart was beating quick and steep.

I could not eat.

The sentence ran through the room. The silence was struggling.

I looked at him. He was as embarrassed but less portraying.

Naaz.... Naaz?

I sorted the dishes.

I sat with my father. He did not speak. I do not understand him but I cannot forgive him. Like he can't forgive me.

I read the third book in the list The girl with the dragon Tattoo.

I ate an apple. Saw the sunset. Sigh.

Saw the yellow sky turning pink. Sighed. Pink into purple. Purple to violet, violet to dark. Pitch black with white freckles.

Freckles.... White Favourite freckles.

Less breathing more sighing.

I drank my tea alone.

Naaz?

A small beautiful word Naaz.

Naaz.... Pride! Such a sullen feeling to have.

The morning rose fresh and hydrant.

Love the smell of mornings, the replenished fragrant morns. The very evidence of gloom extinguished.

I took the tea tray and smiled.

The living are empty?

I went upstairs to the library, empty?

Garden, empty?

"Have you seen the brothers? " I asked a servant.

He did not understand.

"I mean,have seen Masters? "

"They have gone to the further back land for archery practice " he replied.

Archery?

"Should I take the tea there? " he asked.

I handed him the tray. The longest conversation with a servant in this house.

I went to the library, resumed my book.

He came back within fifteen minutes.

"Master Al-Wildan wishes you to be brought to the ground " he said.

Kings and princes who?

Brought to the ground!

I went there. Saw the the twins at the table. Al-Hassan with a bow and an arrow putting up a target.

"Good morning" I greeted.

"Look he is excellent at aiming" Al-Shizad brags about Al-Hassan.

He was right. Al-Wais stood examining the excellence.

Then Al-Souffian entered with a white beautiful horse. Talk about a fairytale. It has all.

"It is beautiful! " I exclaimed.

"it is Al-Hassan's. Mine is Baraq! There! " he pointed at the black horse at a distance.

"I didn't knew you owned horses" I stated.

"You do not know anything yet Miss Falaq-Naaz " Al-Souffian cross smiles.

He has started.

"why don't you aim at the very center? " I asked Al-Wildan.

"I am not very remarkable at it. I'd rather not"

"but you shouldn't leave thing just because you're not excellent in them"

He wasn't convinced.

"I did not see you yesterday " he said.

"I was busy reading ugh the usual. Besides I miss home"

"miss home? This is home"

"No I mean. It's time we should leave. I hope my father can rent somewhere a cottage or something "

Now Al-Wildan completely gets detached. His face changes.

"You mustn't leave. You will not" he remarked in anger.

"I have to. I will"

"Then you must" he said in the mist furious tone. His stubborn sitting on the tip of his nose under the round spectacles.

The molecules of the Elahim gene that cannot take a 'No'

"Would you like to not show me how to strike an arrow" I asked poking his arm.

"I would love to show you" Al-Souffian interjected "Come" he said taking my hand. My eyes again fell on his hands in mine. I do not know what happens when I look at them, summertime feeling. Old nostalgia. Waterfalls.

"Move Al-Hassan " he commands.

Al-Hassan moved aside and made a way.

Al-Wais took a step back. The moment went slowly in fragments. He put his arm across the length of my arm. And stretched the bow. The ease with how he did not make me move yet I felt so moved was incredible. What is this Man? Such a deep mystery that I cannot even wonder about him I am so insanely trapped.

The arrow hit right in the center is when my sense woke.

"So easy. You did a great job Falaq-Naaz " he stated.

"I need to go" I said and walked away from him.

Hypnosis. The ocean. Blue. Black. Vast. The breeze. Waterfalls. My mind spinning.

I fell to the ground.

"Falaq-Naaz! " Al-Hassan picked me to my feet.

"Are you alright? " Al-Wildan asked.

"yes I am alright. I... I need to go rest... I" I couldn't speak.

Who decides what is good anyways?

My mind rambled.

Waterfalls. Ocean. Old age. Rashly.

I fainted in Al-Hassan's arms.

The walls were moving, getting wider with each inch. The ceiling whispered my name... Falaq.... Falaq..... Falaq..

I was in red dress. A deep red dress. My lips are painted red. The rogue lip stain. I was smiling. My hairs swept open at the back.

Falaq..... Falaq.... Falaq

I was Falaq tonight.

Not Falaq-Naaz.

She is beautiful.

I ran my hands at the grey walls. Deep breaths.

I looked at the turning door knob but my heart was in her mesmerized state.

I opened my hands.

The walls are my close friends. The walls can hear my tales. Deep my tears but the sound of a ring, a little ring in the heart puts me unsettled.

The room darkening, the shadows accurate. The hand rests on my chin of a man. Surprisingly nothing in me is afraid. I close my eyes and pull the hands near my lips. I could smell the tea and ink on his hands, his indigo veins, his pink fingers. He kissed my neck "Falaq-Naaz "

I opened my eyes and sat up.

Breathed out heavy sets. It was just a dream.