Chapter 62

I look out the large window on the train once again except this time my life is completely different. Jacob, Chrissy, and Miles have all been in my life and I'll never be the same, not after him—not after Miles.

I've hurt everyone in my life and now Miles has done the same to me. I know I don't have a right to be mad at him but I still am.

"Tea miss?" an older man asks and I nod. I'm glad I somehow managed to catch a late-night train after waiting at the stop for a few hours, but anything was better than going back there; back into the empty and dark room where Miles will eventually find me.

The older man returns with a cup of tea and sugar. I pay him and give him a small smile before he leaves. As I stare out the window a few tears threaten to spill but I blink them away.

The dark sky looks back at me, the grey clouds and tall scary trees in the distance all stupidly remind me of him. There's something about the night and the darkness that screams his name. Before my mind can understand what's happening, my hands drag the dark blue blinds over the large window, leaving only a sliver of the window uncovered at the very end of my feet.

Me: "I'm coming home, meet me at the train station?"

Jace: "Is everything okay?"

Me: "Yeah I just missed you and mom."

Jace: "I'll be there."

I smile at the message before turning off my phone and resting it on the chair next to me. "Can I get a blanket?" I ask the kind man and he nods.

"Sure." Since I'm only arriving in the morning I might as well sleep, I haven't slept since everything happened and the few naps I've taken haven't helped.

My phone starts to buzz with a call from Miles and I can't help but swipe my finger across to screen to answer the call. I put the phone next to my ear and listen to his breathing.

"Madison?" he asks, his voice soft yet raspy. Before he can say anything else I quickly press the red button.

I can't listen to the way he's so desperately asking me to talk to him. My stomach starts turning and the butterflies slowly settle down at the bottom of my stomach as I look out of the only sliver I can see of the window.

With the comfortable pillow and soft blanket I fall asleep almost instantly, waking up a few times with coughs and sneezes of other passengers but a particular cough wakes me up completely.

"Madison." Jacob lights up.

"Oh, Jacob."

"I'm here." He says, brushing his fingers over my cheek.

"You don't have bruises anymore." I smile at him and he nods.

"I've hurt you so deeply, and I'm so sorry, I don't know what I was doing—" he stops me with a bright smile.

"It's okay babe, you didn't hurt me . . . none of that happened yet." He says and I take a few deep breaths before really waking up this time.

"You okay Ma'am?" an old lady asks and I nod.

"Yeah, sorry." I smile before catching my breath. The sun starts to rise, bringing with it bright and beautiful colors that mix with the blue of the sky.

The train stop and I step out and with a few minutes of walking, I'm back where Jace first dropped me off. I look around before finally spotting a figure in the distance riding a motorcycle and the tears start to run. The figure approaches closer before stopping close by.

"Madison," Jace yells and the tears start to flow with no stop.

"Jace." I sob before running towards him and unknowingly jumping into his arms. He hugs me tight and my eyes wet his shoulder.

"You're such a crier." He laughs but I shake my head.

"No . . . I just missed you." I whisper and I see the smile on his face turning brighter. His chestnut hair is cut, shorter than before and much more trimmed, his familiar green eyes look into mine and I can't help but smile.

"Have you been working out?" I ask with surprise as I spot his tighter arms. The muscles are not nearly as defined as Miles's but they're more apparent than they ever were before. I look into his blue-gray eyes before smiling back at him.

"No," he laughs.

"I've been helping your mom with chores." He says and I giggle, knowing a part of the routine is feeding our angry duck.

"Yeah, she bit me a few times." He laughs after noticing me looking at his hands.

"But she's gotten friendlier." He informs me and I nod.

"Really?" I ask.

"No." he smiles as we intertwine our arms and sit down on his motorcycle.

"You know, I've really missed you, Jace." I smile and he looks at me one last time, his barely-there freckles greet me.'

"Did you not bring anything with?" he asks confused.

"No, it's just a quick weekend visit." I lie.

MY MOTHER is in the kitchen making us pancakes while Jace and I sit in the small living room area which oddly enough can only be entered through my bedroom.

"How are you feeling?" he asks, looking at my hand.

"I'm okay, it's just a little scratch." I smile at him, falling off the motorcycle wasn't the way I wanted to start out this trip but I somehow feel like I deserved it. Jace nods before bringing me another cup of warm milk.

"Jace, I'm really okay." I giggle but he shakes his head.

"I know,"

"But I heard it'll be snowing soon, I don't want you to catch a cold." He smiles and I nod.

"Thank you." I return his smile. His gray eyes move from my eyes to my hand again. He examines the scratch carefully before placing his fingertips over my wrist. He keeps his eyes steady on the scratch before moving his fingertips slowly over the wound than to my fingers, traveling all the way up to my fingertips are on his wrist.

"Here you two go." My mother says, handing us each a small plate with three pancakes. She places jam and everything else we might need onto the small living room table. I smile at her to thanks her.

"How have you been?" I ask my mother who's devouring the pancakes next to us.

"I've been much better. I'm taking medicine and the doctor said my legs would eventually heal." She explains and I nod. My mother has never liked going to the doctor but after everything got worse with her legs and she could barely walk, Jace and I made her go, and now with her regular visits we're all more relieved.

After my dad left my mother just wasn't the same, it was like everything in our lives started to deteriorate even her own body.

"And I've been making her go to those doctor visits," Jace says with that handsome smile of his as he looks my mom right in the eyes. I giggle before taking a sip of the warm milk he brought me.

"Thank you, Jace, and this home is so much cleaner thanks to you." My mother smiles.

"Jace would you be so kind to find Madison some bedsheets?" My mother asks and Jace smiles at her before going into my room.

"Oh, Jace, thank you so much, I'll help you with this. You've done enough, you've been here through everything." I smile at him and he returns it.

"I'll head off to feed the rest of the cows then." He smiles, making me giggle. It sounds so odd to feed the cows now that I've lived in Washington for almost the whole semester.

I watch as Jace leaves with a small goodbye before I finish making my bed ready. Sleeping here again feels unreal but I need some space and quiet after everything that has happened.

My mind is still clouded and I want it to stay that way, I want to distract myself as much as I can rather than dig through the puffiness of everything that is getting mixed around in my brain. My mother takes all of the plates into the kitchen and I help her before finally brushing my teeth and taking a quick shower.

I slip into the old pajamas that have stayed in my closet now for the longest time.

"They still fit." My mother smiles.

"Yeah." I nod with a small smile before getting into the bed. My mother shuts off the light and closes the door before approaching me slowly and sitting down on my bed.

"Madison . . . " She starts and I know by her tone that she has something on her mind.

"You'll be twenty years old next year and it will be time to get married soon." She says and I nod, trying to hide my surprise at her words.

"I think Jace would be the perfect fit for you." She says with a smile.

"I'll think about it, mom," I say, trying even harder to hide the surprise that's spreading over my features.