Chapter 19~ The way I am

I knew I should of just fucking let it be. Now look at what I've caused between River and I. Conflict and awkwardness.

"What is wrong with me... I shouldn't have pressured him into telling me anything" I quietly cried to myself, sitting at the end of my bed with my head buried into my now wet hands. I stayed there for what felt like hours trying to calm myself down. I was hurt yes, but why do I also feel so heartbroken?

I hate how sensitive I am as a person. I'm only the way I am all because of my upbringing.

Background story about Y/n:

(TW: slight mention of mental abuse)

My mother and father have never been the best of parents. I am an only child, if any of that even matters. My parents raised me by the famous rule to "never backtalk" this rule of theirs always seemed to fuck me up because even when I'd just simply try and reply to their comments they'd still yell at me and call it back chatting. They always did it to me for years. It just got to the point where I chose to keep my mouth shut in most scenarios that go on in my life now. Well except only certain times, and those are the moments when people lie straight to my face. I still need to learn some selfcontrol and to just not call it out sometimes I guess. Like I did tonight.

My parents treated me very unfairly my entire upbringing, no matter what I did it was always wrong in their eyes. I was never going to be the perfect child for them. And I quickly realized that growing up. When I hit the age of 17, I had no idea what I was in for. I'll never forget the day that changed my life, forever. And for the better.

A memory of y/n's final year at high school:

I was sitting at the very end of the classroom carving creepy looking creatures into the schools wooden desk, bored out of my mind. It was second period and I was in the middle of history class, the teacher was talking a whole bunch of nonsense about the world war, you know the same old shit we get taught every school year. I was in my own little world like usual, zoning out during lesson time and letting my imagination run wild while I drew the first thing that would come to my mind. The only thing breaking my daydream that lesson was the intercon sending my class the heads up that we had two new students arriving today.

"Who the hell cares, their probably just gonna be the same like the rest of the assholes here" I said in my head, rolling my eyes and putting my attention back into something that's actually interesting to me. Drawing. But little did I know, I was completely wrong.

Once that horrid class finally ended and we got dismissed I of course was asked to stay back.

"For God sakes what did I do now!?" I immediately thought. Unwillingly, I approached the teachers desk and waited to see what the hell he wanted.

"Principal Higgins would like to see you in his office right away" he stated as he continued to pack up for the next class. Like usual for me, curiosity took over. I guess you could say curiosity was my number one enemy in my teenage years.

"Why?" I tried asking in a innocent tone, thinking that I was in some sort of trouble.

"Don't worry your not in trouble, I believe he wants you to do the honors of introducing these new students to our school, besides it'd be a good opportunity for you to finally make some friends it's your last year of high school and I never see you around any of the other students" the teacher tried explaining to me, I dismissed his comment about me not having any friends and just chose to nod in agreement with him then leave.

"Jackass" I scoffed the second I closed the door behind me then progressively made my way to the principal's office. As I always do before entering the principals office I took a deep breath and tried to mentally prepare myself for whatever the fuck was to come from now on. As I slowly turned the door handle and anxiously made my way inside, two boys immediately looked into my direction. They appeared to be twin brothers, both having icy blue eyes and long dark hair which I can only assume was dyed, not to mention their edgy style that matched very well with mine.

"Ah miss l/n come in, these boys are our new students and I would like you to be the one to show them around our school" principal Higgins explained, giving me the same old smile he gives everybody. I accepted his offer and told the twins to follow me. The second I left that room my wave of anxiety immediately left, and although I was now with two random twin boys I didn't seem to get any anxiety from either one of them, which was quite strange. I let out a sigh of relief then started my 'tour' for the boys.

"Sorry if my brother and I are making you anxious in any way, my names Ryan by the way" one of the twins introduced themselves with a friendly handshake offer.

"Y/n..." I shyly replied, accepting the friendly gesture and shaking his hand.

"And this is my brother River" Ryan motioned his hand in the direction of his twin brother who was standing on the other side of me. His brother gave me a shy wave and smile as his brother introduced him. I gave him a kindhearted smile and continued on with my tour.

2 months after meeting the twins:

For the first time in my life I can comfortably say that I now have best friend's. The Rees twins and I have been inseparable ever since principal Higgins got me to show the boys around school. I am at their house almost daily now, not to mention that their parents absolutely adore me, which is something I still struggle to get use too due to how my parents treat me at home, but it is a lovely change in my life that I hope won't stop anytime soon. Rachel (the twins sister) is a absolute badass, she reminds me a lot of myself actually, we get along just swimmingly. Thank God.

And as for the boys, they've now introduced me into their little YouTube channel they have now. They call it "The Savage Twins", well let's just say the title speaks for itself. The boys are absolute weirdos, and I love it. We really do make the perfect trio, for the first time I finally feel like I belong somewhere. And that's something I'll forever be greatful for.

Today the boys asked to come over to my place for the first time. Of course I was hesitant once they asked, not knowing how on earth my parents would react finding out that my friends were actually boys. And no if you're wondering, I never told them the gender of my friends. I was too afraid that they wouldn't approve and try to stop me from hanging out with them. And now after the strong bond we've created, I won't let anyone try and stop us from being friends. I of course gave in to the boys request, not wanting them to question anything about my homelife. I attempted to try and introduce the twins to my parents, and as expected it went horrendously. Long story short, I got kicked out of home for refusing to break off mine and the boys friendship. It was the most humiliating moment in my entire life. Having the twins witness that and finally finding out the truth about my homelife. But like the beautiful people that they are, they took my situation very seriously and even helped me pack my shit to leave home. Even better then that, they actually offered I stay with them. And you bet your ass that's exactly what I did. I never left the twins side after that.

And now here we are.

Y/n's current POV:

Reminiscing about my past with the twins distracted me from my tears. Now all I felt was complete and utter tiredness from the crying. Instinctively I went to put myself to bed, placing my phone on my bedside table and effortlessly changing into some more comfier clothes.

I placed my oversized band tee over myself and lazily took my pants off, keeping just my underwear one underneath. I sluggishly crawled into bed and laid on my side and rested my eyes to try and fall asleep. The moment I shut my eyes I heard my phone vibrate from my bedside table. I groaned and weakly reached over to find out who the hell could be texting me at this hour.

I softly smiled to myself as I read Ryan's kind reminder. He's a sweetheart, he always knows how to put a smile on my face, even at the worst of times. I truly appreciated him for that. I messaged him back, thanking him for the kindhearted message then put my phone on do not disturb and turned back around to finally full into a deep sleep.

Ryan's POV:

I haven't seen my brother look this stressed in years. I know girl problems have always made him flip out like this. But this is different, this is our best friend were talking about here. I can only imagine the shit that's going on through his head right now, realizing that your falling in love with your best friend of ten plus years. I knew I had to do him a solid and try to help out with this situation. That's when a thought hit me.

"I have an idea Riv, but before I tell it I need you to tell me, do you really want to be with y/n?" I asked in a serious tone as I kept eye contact with my brother. He went silent for a long moment. I could tell he was really thinking hard about this decision, probably the hardest I've ever seen Riv think about a decision, then again I can't blame him this is a pretty serious reconsideration.

"I do Ry... I really do" he finally answered with the most genuine tone in his voice I have ever heard. It was quite clear my brother had fallen head over heals for y/n in the past couple of days. It makes me wonder what sparked it. Nonetheless I was proud of my brother for talking about this with me. I gave Riv a pleased smile then continued on with my plan.

"Good... Cause this is what we're gonna do..."

A/n:

Hey y'all, sorry for yet another cliffhanger but I low-key love your reactions when I do them 😂

Also I hope this little background story of y/n was decent and not too long and boring for y'all 🥲

If you liked this chapter please let me know in the comments <3

Thank you all to everyone who reads this fanfiction, you are all so incredible and give me so much support and motivation and I truly appreciate that <3

See you all on the next chapter, we have a lot of adorable and heartwarming moments coming up for y'all... ;)