Misguided Vows: Chapter 50

“You fumbled that one,” Anya lectures in her Russian accent when I walk into her and Rivers’ home after visiting Alina in the hospital. I wanted to make sure Alek cleaned up Jack Percy’s body as promised. And as much as I enjoy pushing his buttons, barging into his apartment was never an option, so I did the next best thing. I barged into his sisters instead.

“What?” I ask, confused, as their two dogs race up to greet me.

“Alina. She’s returning to London,” she says matter-of-factly.

“I already know that. And since when do you care about my personal affairs?” Anya hates me, and rightly so, because her husband loves me more.

“I don’t. But I don’t like it when you get messy because my husband seems rather fond of you. Getting messy makes you a liability.” She raises a brow at me, then adds, “Alek disposed of the body.”

“You can’t tell me you wouldn’t have done the same,” I retort.

“Well, of course.” She waves a hand in the air as River enters from the kitchen.

“Is she okay?” River asks, approaching in a loose pair of pants. He kisses Anya on the cheek, then focuses back on me. “Are you okay?”

Anya snorts. “Does he look okay? He looks like a lovestruck puppy.”

I sigh, exhausted.

“My beautiful wife, you’re as subtle as a rhino,” River jokes half-heartedly. I just don’t have the fight in me today. “You’re going to let her return to London just like that?” River asks more gently.

“I’m sure you’d have no trouble tracking her,” Anya declares as if that’s the problem.

“If you go after her again, that would be considered serious,” River says, eyeing me. He’s right. If I did, it would be.

So why do I want to go after her right now before she’s even gone? Why does a part of me want to turn around and find exactly where she went and follow her there?

Fuck.

“She deserves someone better than me.” And it goes unsaid the reasons why I can’t follow her. Because if I do, it’ll mean admitting that I’ve found someone else to love. It’s not the thought of rejection that hurts the most but the idea of being unfaithful and misguidedly straying from my marital vows to Hayley.

“I’m just going to shower here and then be out of your hair,” I say, making my way to their bathroom.

“Don’t you have your own shower?” Anya calls out after me, but I hear River cooing at her to give me a break, just this once.

Because River is the only one who knows the ghosts that keep my feet dragging.

This is best for both Alina and me. So why do I feel like I’m breaking into pieces and missing out on something really important?