Misguided Vows: Chapter 41

“Alina.” I turn as Steven approaches her, and not so much as gives me a second look. My hand is on Alina’s back as we head to the entrance to leave. I eye him, waiting for him to say something. He’s hated me since I fucked his sister. It was only once. It’s not my fault she got hooked. I did warn her it was a one-off. Imagine if I fucked her more than once. Hell, she’d probably be planning our fucking wedding.

That’s when Steven looks at me as if reading my mind. I can’t help but smirk.

“Did you need something? We were just leaving,” Alina says, glancing between us because the tension is palpable.

“Yes, I was hoping to grab your number before you leave. So we can catch up sometime.”

My jaw tightens but I don’t let it show.

I mean, what right do I have? She’s not mine. We made it very clear. The voice of reason doesn’t do much to control my possessive grip on her hip.

“Oh. Uhh…” She turns to me. I wait for a moment, not saying anything. That can be her decision. Something passes through her gaze, but I can’t read it. Does she want me to step in? Does she want something from me? “Do you mind?” she whispers. Does she want me to stop her?

Because I won’t. I don’t have a right.

“Not at all.” I nod, indicating she can do whatever she wants. I don’t hold her back, and I have made no promises. We’re just here for a good time. Or so I keep telling myself.

“Pass me your phone. I don’t live here though. I’m based in London. I’m just here visiting my mother.”

Steven smiles at that and hands her his phone, and I want to wipe the smug expression from the prick’s face.

Maybe I’ll hack his phone later and see what Steven has been up to lately.

Alina takes his phone, and the whole time, I’m drilling a hole into his head with my stare. I want to watch him squirm uncomfortably. Especially if it’s unreasonable for me to hit him. And I don’t even know why I want to hit him. She’s not mine.

He’s smiling, and his gaze flicks up to mine, not even watching as she puts her number in.

He thinks he won.

I lean in and kiss her bare shoulder, kissing my way up her neck to make a point. She doesn’t push me away, but I do notice as she fumbles with her own number before she hands the phone back to Steven.

Fuck you, Steven.

“I’ll be sure to call,” he says. She nods, and before she can say anything else, I’m dragging her out. She laughs when we get outside, and it’s like music to my ears.

That fucking laugh.

I love it.

And yet I grumble when I ask, “Why are you laughing?”

“At you being all ‘I’m totally okay’ but acting like a possessive boyfriend.”

“I am not.” My tone is curt, and she just laughs.

I don’t even wait until we get to the car. The minute the cold air hits us, I spin her and slam my lips to hers. I don’t care if we’re at the entrance of an event. She’s mine, and this naughty little vixen needs to be reminded of that.

Mine.

I break away at the thought, and it’s not missed by Alina, who clears her throat as someone walks in behind us. An older couple most likely discussing the spectacle they just witnessed.

Now she laughs as she throws her hands up in the air, but it lacks humor. “What are we doing, Will? Honestly.”

My eyebrows furrow. “What do you mean? We’re having fun, aren’t we?”

“We’re beyond that point now. And if it’s been nothing but a bit of fun, maybe we should just leave it as that. I’ll catch my own cab home.” She goes to walk away but I grab her wrist.

“We’re not done tonight,” I say adamantly, never wanting to see that expression on her face again. She looks… tired of me.

And I never want there to be a world where this woman isn’t drawn to me as much as I am her.

“Will, I leave soon. This has been fun but I don’t even know what I’m getting myself involved with when it comes to you. Why are you really here in this town? How do you know the locals? How have you slept with half of them?”

I curve an arrogant smile. “Now who’s acting like a jealous girlfriend?”

She throws her hand in the air and goes to walk away, forgetting that I still have a hold of her other wrist.

“I’m sorry,” I blurt out. Her head whips in my direction because when, if ever, have I apologized to anyone for being a smartass? It’s always been the easiest way to keep everyone at a distance, but I’m realizing now that maybe I want Alina a little closer. “Please let me explain.”

She sighs and glances at the bridge a short distance away. “Let’s go for a walk. I don’t want to do it around here where another one of your fan club girls might corner us.”

I sigh, grateful for her ability to put me at ease, though the conversation we’re about to have will be anything but comfortable.

We walk over to the bridge and she stares down into the water. I notice immediately that the air is cold, so I take my jacket off and put it over her shoulders.

She smirks, almost disbelieving. “The problem is you’re as much of a gentleman as you are an asshole. It could give any girl the wrong idea.”

“I don’t do this for other women. They’ve only served a purpose for one night, and I’ve always been gone before dawn.”

She sighs. “So why are you doing it for me? If it’s because I’m friends with your sister, you don’t have to.”

“This has nothing to do with Maria.”

“Then what?” she pushes.

I don’t know why I can’t keep Alina out of my thoughts. Why, no matter what part of the world I’m in, I’m only thinking of her and wanting to return to her. She’s the first breath I’ve taken since Hayley died, and I can’t make sense of any of these turbulent emotions stirring up. No matter how much I try to shove them back down, they perplex me in ways I don’t want to deal with.

“I don’t know.”

She gazes across the water, and I can tell she’s not entirely satisfied by that answer. “And the fan club you have here?”

I tangle my fingers together. Now to the heart of the truth. The uncomfortable conversation that I thought I’d never share with anyone.

“Hayley grew up in this town until she was ten years old. But she always spoke about it fondly. This was the place she wanted us to eventually settle down and start a family. Said this always felt like home.” I confess the dreams of my deceased wife, whose memory seems to get further and further away. “When she passed, I frequented here for the first few years for… I don’t know… to feel like I was honoring her, so that I could feel connected to her. I drowned my sorrows at local bars and buried myself in some women, trying to forget.” I sigh.

Alina’s staring at me now, almost in disbelief. “Small world, huh?”

I chuckle, trying to release this erratic energy around me. Considering she was raised in this very same town, I couldn’t believe the slim chance myself. “Coincidental it would seem.”

“Do you still think you’ll settle down here?” she asks.

“No. But I think this will be a place I come back to often. I might just have to make sure I don’t drink so much when I do.”

She lets out a chuckle. “I guess I hit the list, then, didn’t I?”

I give her a serious look. “No, you were never a one-night fling.”

She goes to say something, as if to ask what she might be to me, but it falls dead on her lips. The tension around us changes as she removes my jacket and says with a beautiful smile, “Hayley was very lucky to have you for a husband.”

“She dealt with a lot,” I say with a nervous laugh, and she does the same as she places the jacket in my hand.

“I bet she did.” Sad eyes meet mine. “I think we need to call it quits here, Will. I don’t want to hate you, but I think we might both be in denial about what’s happening here.”

I fist the jacket, wanting to argue with her but can’t find the words because I begrudgingly know she’s right.

“I don’t know what it’s like to lose a partner like that, but I want to find someone who looks at me the same way you probably looked at her. And whatever we’re doing now, I think we should end here as friends. Before it turns into something that both of us are too uncomfortable to address.”

I try to smirk but fail, feeling defeated. I don’t know why but talking about Hayley with Alina, and having Alina walk away is… uncomfortable. Like a part of me is trying to detach from Hayley and I’m trying my hardest to cling to it, to respect her and what we had. But the only way I can make space for Alina is if I let go. And I just can’t.

I can’t even laugh it off this time, and the truth of this situation is as shocking as it is a rude awakening.

Alina steps on her tippy-toes and presses a kiss to my cheek. “Thanks for the fun, Will, and I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Ironic, considering I’m one of the best at finding things. And yet, as I watch Alina walk away, I can’t help but wonder if I’m letting something important go.

But I’m frozen in place. I’m determined to honor my late wife and our marriage. Because if I don’t… doesn’t that lessen what we had?