Misguided Vows: Chapter 25

I haven’t seen Will for two weeks, which surprisingly leaves me with mixed emotions and ultimately pisses me off. I knew it was only sex, and that’s what we signed up for. It was a stupid bet where I somehow ended up with a plane. But it’s the way he left and then up and vanished. Considering how persistent he’d been previously, I thought I’d see him at least one more time.

But I’m not here for Will; I’m here to focus on my project, which is coming along swimmingly. Without Will’s presence, I’ve been able to focus almost every waking hour on it. I moved from the hotel into Honey’s old apartment, which I absolutely adore.

I never knew where I’d end up permanently. I was ecstatic that my job took me to all kinds of places in the world. But a small part of me thought I’d somehow end up in London and living there for the rest of my life. But in Honey’s apartment in the heart of New York… I can see myself living right here. I love this place.

While the construction continues in the shop, it gives me time to focus on future projects. I’ve been sought out by another club back in London, and I’m seriously considering taking the job. I’m inclined to because there’s nothing keeping me here after the project.

I’ve also become close to Honey and Rya in my time here. I’m currently sitting across from them, picking at my lasagna. For some reason, I feel off. I love pasta, and I feel like my funk has everything to do with the fact that I haven’t heard from Will.

“Is everything okay?” Honey asks, concerned. Her stomach seems more prominent tonight, but that could be because I haven’t really seen her in the last week, with all the heavy construction happening in the store.

I look up, realizing she and Rya are both staring at me. “Yeah, of course” I say, defiantly taking a bite of lasagna.

“You look like you need a night out,” Rya suggests, biting into her lentil salad, and I’m not sure if she’s suggesting it more for me or herself.

“And your husband would be okay with you going out on the town?” I ask somewhat mockingly.

Her lips tip up into a smile. “I’m past the days of enjoying clubbing. But to piss my overbearing husband off, I might be so inclined.”

We both laugh at her.

“So did you sell the plane?” Honey asks curiously.

I put the fork down and take a sip of my red wine. “Yeah. It was actually a lot easier than I thought it would be. Sold it within a week.” The money has since been sitting in my account, and I’ve stared at all those zeros, thinking about all the things I can use it on. I could never work a day in my life again if I wanted to now, but I have no intention of stopping. I enjoy what I do, but there’s a strange profoundness around my future.

I bite my bottom lip and finally build the courage to ask, “Have either of you heard from Will recently?” I don’t enjoy inquiring about him, in case they think he means more to me than he does, but it also doesn’t sit right with me that he up and vanished right after he literally gave me a plane to sell.

Honey and Rya look at one another. “He’s probably on a job. He dips out of contact from time to time. He gets pretty laser-focused.”

I can’t imagine it. But then I remember how focused he was, giving me multiple orgasms.

Honey adds, “Dawson also mentioned that this is the longest he’s probably stayed in one city. He seems to jump around a lot on jobs.”

“Why do you ask? Missing the sex?” Rya asks with a provocative smile.

“No,” I reply far too sharply before taking a sip of wine, and she chuckles.

I told them Will and I hooked up for one night. I did not tell them how many times that one night. But I’m not really one to overshare my business. Maybe that’s part of being an only child. Honey and Rya seem to share everything with one another, and I like seeing how they interact with one another.

They’ve made me curious about children again. If women this powerful can still maintain their careers and goals and build a family, why do I think the same can’t happen for me? If I found a man who was as obsessed with me as their husbands are obsessed with them, I feel like it would be doable. Thus, the weirdness surrounding my sudden fortune. I can literally buy anything I want, and now I’m not really sure what I want.

Not all of us are that lucky to marry someone so head over heels, and I’ve momentarily fantasized what it might be like to still have their own space from their partners, basically their own identity, and not get lost in their relationship. I’ve had a lot of friends who, once they get a partner, basically discard everyone around them and only focus on that one person. And to be honest, none of those relationships have ever really worked. So, yes, I want both. Actually, I want it all. I want a man to be obsessed with me, and I still want my own identity. I don’t think that’s asking too much.

Yet it sounds easier than finding Mr. Right. I internally growl, hating that I’m succumbing to the “Mr. Right” idea in the first place. I’m very much happy on my own, so why am I even thinking about these things?

“Earth to Alina.” Honey is waving in front of me, and I look up from my lasagna.

“Oh, sorry.” I laugh.

The sisters exchange another glance.

“I’m sure Will is going to turn up soon. He always does,” Honey assures with a tentative smile, and it makes me feel uncomfortable.

I don’t want them thinking I’m curious about Will, but I also can’t help myself from leaning in and asking, “So, like, his tracking job. It’s not really dangerous, is it? He just hides behind some screens to find people, right?”

“You two haven’t spoken about this?” Rya asks, wiping at her mouth and placing down her fork.

“Will’s line of work can be dangerous. Some of the people who hire him aren’t always good people. He also gets his hands dirty, the same as Crue and Dawson. He might be a goofball at times, but he takes his job very seriously.”

I try to absorb that information. “So, like, theoretically, he could just go missing for a few weeks and never come back?” I ask.

Rya sighs and crosses her arms over her chest. “They all could. It’s the world they live in.”

“But they’re also highly intelligent. The risk factor doesn’t get any easier, but you just learn to embrace this part of them as much as they embrace certain parts of you,” Honey says.

I want to laugh. I don’t know if anyone would be so inclined to accept all of me. Especially if they knew about my past. Who I am today is very different to the woman I was those many years ago.

“You seem to have a lot of questions for someone who’s not overly interested,” Rya teases.

I smirk and pick up my fork again. “I just want to make sure we’re not on bad terms. You know, after selling his plane and all.”

“Can’t say Dawson’s ever bought me a plane,” Honey says with a chuckle as she places her hand on her stomach. “I’m sure Will is going to be back in no time. Until then, you’ll just have to get by with your toy.”

“Or go out and find someone else to scratch the itch,” Rya dares.

“I’m not attached to him.” I wave them both off and point my fork at Rya. “And stop trying to use me as a pawn to get your husband all uppity about you hitting a club.”

She casually shrugs. “Have to keep it saucy in the bedroom.”

Honey gasps. “Oh my gosh, no. As if you two need any encouragement. I spent time with them before Crue gifted me the apartment on the floor below them, and I couldn’t sleep because of how loud they were! No wonder you got pregnant so fast,” she teases, and Rya nudges her.

“I don’t need to hear about keeping it fresh in the bedroom from the woman whose husband auctioned off her virginity.”

I gasp and look at Honey, whose cheeks go red. “We all have our things, okay?”

“You can do that?” I ask, intrigued.

“If you step further into this world, your mind will be blown,” Honey says with wide eyes, and we all laugh. I can’t imagine what it’s like to know about all of these things. But what I do know is that, although the fantasy of what they have is impressive, I need to do what I have always done—focus on myself.