Chapter 17 - Bitter Struggle for Survival

Translator: Ruriko

Zhishu He was too painful to walk after the chemotherapy. This time Zhishu He didn’t refuse Ziyu Ai when Ai held his hand to help him to lie on the bed in Ai’s office for a rest. They both kept silent, but Ziyu Ai strongly felt that an unspeakable feeling in the heart became stronger than ever. Ziyu Ai was sure that he had lost his heart to Zhishu He.

Zhishu He’s face was as pale as the white sheet on bed. His eyes were dull and inanimate. Ziyu Ai gave him a cup of hot water, and said, “Drink some water?”

Zhishu He didn’t answer, and only murmured after quite a while, “I am cold…”

No blanket was available here, as Ziyu Ai barely slept in the office. Ziyu Ai couldn’t find anything but He’s light tan down jacket, which was so heavy. So he covered Zhishu He with it.

Zhishu He tightly hugged the down jacket. His pinched face surrounded with the fox fur on the brim of the jacket hat boasted kind of morbid fascination. Zhishu He seemed extremely fragile at the moment.

“You don’t look well. Considering you physical condition, I suggest you stay in hospital,” sitting beside Zhihe Shu, Ziyu Ai thought for a while before speaking again. “You can’t keep it from your family or your boyfriend. It is too hard to handle this on your own.”

Zhishu He slowly regained his consciousness. His eyes were gentle as before, and his mood was always restrained. Zhishu He softly shook his head, and said, “I don’t want to stay in hospital. I will live as long as God allows me to live.”

The one with ultimate love for his or her partner would struggle for survival and live for her or him. Happy life had become a distant dream for Zhishu He, so he just let nature take its course. If Zhishu He was lucky enough to die early, then his love for Wenxu Jiang would end at the same day.

Ziyu Ai could perceive that Zhishu He’s life was not as simple as he previously imagined. Ai couldn’t figure it out, but he didn’t ask anything.n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

Zhishu He knew very well that he had caused a lot of trouble for Doctor Ai. When he felt better, he thanked Ziyu Ai with politeness and was immediately ready to leave.

“I’ll call you for the next appointment of chemotherapy,” Ziyu Ai was unable to make him stay, so he only came out with such a poor excuse to call him again.

It took a few seconds for Zhishu He to realize what Ziyu Ai meant. However, Zhishu He only replied with a nod.

Zhishu He could see that Ziyu Ai was hesitating to say something, as his facial expression betrayed him. After a while, as Zhishu He was curiously waiting, Ziyu Ai suddenly said, “Your body can’t handle sex now. You need to stop...”

Surprisingly, Zhishu He didn’t feel too embarrassed. On the contrary, He was slightly moved by Ziyu Ai’s kindness, so he nodded obediently.

Looking at his back as Zhishu He was walking away, Ziyu Ai unconsciously felt that his heart was also taken away.

Zhishu He spent the rest of the day in bed when he got home. He didn’t eat anything; instead he vomited five times, and the blackish green bile was almost thrown up.

Meanwhile, the four kittens were meowing around him. They cuddled up against his neck. Zhishu He was warmed and touched by their soft fur.

Zhishu He thought that Wenxu Jiang wouldn’t come home. Jiang did come home, though it was late. It seemed that Jiang began to turn more attention to Zhishu He again, instead of showing no concern at all.

Jiang seemed to have recovered interest in sex with Zhishu He. Jiang drank a little alcohol tonight in the business dinner, and he affectionately kept calling Zhishu He “baby”, as if he didn’t mind the smell of cats on Zhishu He’s body.

Wenxu Jiang was at the age with strong sexual desire. When Zhishu He was perfectly healthy in the past, He was barely able to satisfy Wenxu Jiang, not to mention now. They already had sex last night, but tonight Wenxu Jiang was eager to fuck him again.

Zhishu He got used to pampering Wenxu Jiang. What Ziyu Ai said in the morning was in one ear and out the other. Zhishu He forced himself to be soft enough in Jiang’s arms, and pretended to be ready for the violent and animal-like thrusts of Jiang, regardless of the feeble body and discomfort.

During the whole process, Zhishu He consistently bit his lips to hold back his moans out of pain, but he didn’t make any complain. Instead of begging for stop, he tightly hugged Jiang’s neck while groaning in a low voice, repeatedly, “Bro Jiang, give me that... oh... faster...faster....”

Feeling aroused, Jiang began another round of barbaric thrusts, but with no kiss at all. Out of sudden, the storm finally came to a halt while Jiang jetted sperms all inside He’s skinny body. As Jiang was satisfied, Jiang murmured a name to He’s ear, “…Little Shen…”

Zhishu He’s heart instantly broken into pieces.

He was not the one Jiang cared about.