twenty six

I jumped awake, breathing heavily. I looked around and saw E sleeping next to me. What the fuck? I held my chest, feeling a panic attack coming on. The last thing in the world I wanted was to see E fucking someone else, let alone Joy. I rubbed my eyes and pushed myself up; I looked at the time and saw it was 5 o'clock in the evening. I looked towards the couch at E, and I got a wrong thought. She's controlled my dreams before... is she just using me? No, Viv, stop. I grabbed my coffee cup that still was half full and took a sip.

"You ok?" E startled me.

"Yea, I'm fine."

"Vivian."

"Just a gross dream. I don't want to talk about it." She walked over to me.

"Are you drinking cold coffee?" I nodded.

"Do you dream?" I asked.

"Sometimes, but it's memories. Nothing interesting like humans do."

"You don't get nightmares?" I asked.

"As I said, it's memories. So sometimes."

"Of what?" I asked.

"Mistakes." She looked down at me.

"What mistakes have you made?"

"I've been alive for over 300 years, Vivian; I've made my fair share of mistakes."

"Like?"

"Uh... doing dumb shit when I started to rebel, I robed some banks and spent some time in jail. I've had my heart broken by being a moron. Everyone I've ever loved has died." She shrugged.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"It's ok." She shook her head. "Every time I lose you; it gets harder."

"How do past life's work now that your..."

"Soulless? I don't know. I guess this is it."

"If... you die now, you're just... dead?"

"I assume I really have no idea."

"Isn't that scary?" I asked.

"I mean, you weren't scared of death before knowing about past lives." She shrugged.

"But I'm suicidal- was suicidal."

"Me too." She mumbled.

"You need to take some more blood," I said, taking another sip of coffee.

"Yeah- um, you're going to need to take some time off work."

"How long will we be gone?" I asked.

"I'm not sure, a few days."

"4?" I asked.

"Take 5." I nodded, grabbing my phone. "You can get a doctor's note for your head." I reached up, touching it; I forgot about it. It seems like weeks since it happened, but it was only two days. 'Hey, so the doctor said I need to be off till Monday' I sent to Mark, how I have a job after missing so much work I'll never understand.

'Get better; I'll schedule you in Tuesday morning ok?'

'Sounds good, thanks and I'm sorry.'

'No worrys' I looked up at E and she looked frozen, after a second, she shook her head and squinted.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Ya- I just." She gripped her head and fell to her knees.

"E, are you ok?" I said, reaching for her but she pulled away.

"I-" she panted, holding her head tightly. "Fuck." She grumbled. I just stared at her not knowing what to do, after a minute E dropped her hands and opened her eyes looking up at me.

"Are you ok?" I asked again.

"I don't know... I don't know what happened." She mumbled. "I... I need food."

"I- oh, oh food." I mumbled quietly. She pushed herself up stumbled. "You can't go out this weak."

"I need something- I feel so sick." She looked at me, and her eyes were blood red, and she was the palest I'd ever seen her, and she shook. I quickly grabbed one of the needles and a measuring cup. "No Vivan."

"Shut up; it's my blood, and you'll drink it if I say so- never thought I'd say that," I said in one breath, and she let out a laugh. "Can you." I trusted the needle towards her, and she took it. She wrapped the blue band around my arm and slowly put the needle in, as the blood trickled into the glass I watched it feeling my stomach turn but not as much as yesterday.

"Were leaving the day after tomorrow," E said.

"Will you have enough blood by then?" I asked.

"I'll make due; it should be ok." Once the measuring cup was filled to 6 ounces she put another cup under it and slowly poured the blood into the milk bag. She stared down at it and I felt scared, what if it's like a wild animal- once she tastes my blood she can't help but attack and kill me... at least she'll be strong enough to fight- who ever it is. "I don't have to do this."

"You need it, you can drink a little- get strong enough to go hunt." She nodded slowly and zipped the bag putting it in the freezer next to the other 5 bags. She almost feel so she grabbed the counter. "What drained you?" I asked.

"I- I don't know." She shook her head and sighed.

"Here." I swapped the glass with the measuring cup and passed her to half full cup. She stared down into the glass and chewed her lip, I nudged her with my foot and she looked up at me. "E, you need it." She sighed.

"It feels wrong."

"It's ok." I leaned forward, and she kissed my forehead. If you told me the day I met E that'd I'd be watching her drink my blood from a glass with cows and yellow flowers on it, I would have told you not to do drugs in my house. She slowly took a sip like hot coffee, then she took another drink, licking her bottom lip before pulling it between her teeth.