Chapter 61

Subhi

It wasn’t the usual kind of day. I could tell the moment I stepped outside and saw Abhimanyu waiting by the gates. There was something different in the air between us, something that made my heart race a little faster than usual. It wasn’t just the way he looked, though that had always had the power to make my stomach flip. It was the way he was looking at me—like there was something important, something unspoken, hanging between us.

I hadn’t expected to feel this way. After everything, I had promised myself I wouldn’t let this become a distraction. But here I was, standing in front of him, feeling like I was falling all over again.

“Hey,” I greeted him, trying to sound casual even though my heart felt like it might leap out of my chest.

“Hey,” he replied with that same soft smile, the one that had a way of calming the storm inside me. “You ready?”

I nodded, though I wasn’t sure if I was ready for anything. It wasn’t the first time we were hanging out, but it felt like it. Like this time, things were different. Maybe it was because I had finally allowed myself to acknowledge what had been sitting in the back of my mind for days now—the way my feelings for him were shifting, the way everything felt like it was slowly pulling us closer.

We started walking, the silence comfortable, but there was an undercurrent of something more between us. I couldn’t ignore the way he kept glancing at me, like he was trying to read me, trying to figure out if I was thinking the same thing he was.

“So,” he started, breaking the silence, “How’s everything been? School, life... you know, the usual.”

His voice sounded so normal, but I could hear the hint of something else in it. A question, maybe. He was asking without asking, trying to get me to open up without actually saying it.

“Everything’s fine,” I said, glancing at him. “Just... busy. You know how it is.”

He nodded, but there was a trace of something in his eyes, like he could see right through the facade I was putting up. He always had this way of doing that—seeing through the walls I built around myself. And I hated how much it made me feel exposed.

“I get it,” he said softly. “It’s hard to keep up sometimes, right?”

It was hard to know if he meant just school or everything that had been going on between us lately.

“Yeah, it is,” I replied, letting the words hang between us for a moment.

We continued walking, my mind spinning in circles. I wanted to say so many things, wanted to ask him what he thought about everything. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. The fear of overthinking it, of making it complicated, kept me quiet.

We ended up at a nearby park, where the benches were mostly empty. The sound of birds chirping and the occasional rustling of the trees filled the air, creating a peaceful atmosphere. But the tension between us still hung there, unspoken.

Abhimanyu sat down first, and I followed, sitting beside him but leaving a little space between us. There was a comfort in the distance, but I also felt like we were teetering on the edge of something we hadn’t figured out yet.

“Subhi,” he said suddenly, breaking the silence that had stretched between us. His voice was serious, his gaze focused on me. “Are we okay?”

The question caught me off guard. I wasn’t sure how to answer. Were we okay? Was I okay?

“I think so,” I said, but my voice trembled slightly. “I mean, I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about everything, and... I guess I’m just not sure.”

He nodded, his expression softening. “It’s okay to not be sure,” he said quietly. “I’m not sure either, but I want to figure it out. With you.”

I looked at him then, really looked at him, and for the first time in a long while, I didn’t feel like I had to hide. I didn’t have to pretend that everything was fine when it wasn’t. I didn’t have to be the girl who had everything together. I could just be... me.

“I want that too,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “I want to figure it out. Together.”

The words felt like a promise, even though I wasn’t sure exactly what I was promising. But there was something about the way he looked at me, like he understood without me needing to explain everything. And for once, it felt like maybe, just maybe, I didn’t need all the answers right now.

We sat there for a while, in the quiet, just existing. The future felt uncertain, but for the first time in a long time, it didn’t scare me. Because with Abhimanyu, I felt like maybe I could face whatever came next. We didn’t have to rush, didn’t have to force anything. We just had to be okay with taking it one step at a time.

And for the first time, I was okay with that.

---