Chapter 60

Abhimanyu

The days after our first real conversation seemed to pass in a blur. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Subhi had said—how she wasn’t sure if she was ready, how neither of us had answers. It was the honesty between us that lingered, more than the silence that followed. There was something in the way we were able to just exist, not rushing into anything, not expecting too much.

But still, something inside me tugged at me, whispering that maybe I was just as afraid as she was. Afraid of what this could mean. Afraid of the possibility that I could get attached to her and it wouldn’t work out.

I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that. But standing there with her, listening to her talk, seeing the way her eyes softened when she smiled, I knew I didn’t want to let her go.

Today felt different, though. She hadn’t texted me first, and as I checked my phone for the tenth time that morning, I couldn’t help but feel that familiar pit in my stomach.

Maybe she was overthinking things too.

I’d been trying not to overthink, but it wasn’t easy. Every moment spent away from her made me more certain of how much I wanted her in my life. But the fear of messing things up—of ruining something that could be good—was always there, lurking in the back of my mind.

I tried to focus on school, on everything that was supposed to matter. But no matter how hard I tried, the only thing I could think about was her.

As I sat through the class, I caught myself glancing at the door, wondering if she would show up, if she would come talk to me. She’d been quiet the past couple of days, which only made me wonder if she was pulling away. If maybe she didn’t feel the same way anymore.

I looked down at my desk, running my fingers over the edge. This wasn’t like me. I wasn’t supposed to care this much, not about anything or anyone. But here I was, second-guessing every move I made, wondering if I was doing this right.

“Hey, Abhi,” I heard her voice before I could think too much, and my heart skipped a beat.

I looked up to see Subhi standing by my desk, her eyes soft but hesitant, as if she wasn’t sure how to approach me.

“Hey,” I said, my voice a little too eager, but I couldn’t help it. It felt like a weight had been lifted just by seeing her.

She smiled, but it was faint, the kind of smile that told me she was still carrying something in her mind, something she wasn’t ready to say. “Do you want to hang out after school today?” she asked, her voice quiet, almost unsure.

The words caught me off guard, but in the best way. She was asking, and it felt like she was letting me in, like she wasn’t pushing me away.

“Yeah,” I replied, not even needing to think about it. “I’d love that.”

There was a moment of silence between us, and I could see the way her shoulders relaxed, like she had been holding her breath. “Okay,” she said, smiling a little more now. “I’ll see you then.”

I watched her walk away, my chest lighter than it had been in days. Maybe she wasn’t pulling away. Maybe this wasn’t as complicated as I was making it.

As I packed up my things and headed out of the classroom, I felt something shift inside me. It was subtle, but it was there. The quiet confidence I hadn’t felt in a while was starting to return, not because everything was perfect, but because, for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel like I was holding myself back. I didn’t feel like I was waiting for something to go wrong.

Maybe this was what it meant to let go, to stop holding on to all the things that weighed me down.

When I saw Subhi waiting for me outside the school gates, I realized I had been waiting for this too.

“Ready?” I asked, the question coming out more casually than I felt, but the nervousness was still there—just beneath the surface.

“Yeah,” she said, her smile brightening as she stepped closer. “Let’s go.”

And for the first time, it felt like maybe we were both ready. Ready to face whatever came next, together.

---