Chapter 57

Subhi

I stared at my phone, watching the message bubble hover for a few seconds longer than I expected. My finger hovered over the screen, wondering if I should text him again. Was my message too much? Too soon? Should I have said something different?

I felt the familiar nervousness in my stomach, but this time, it wasn’t just the usual butterflies. It was like a heavy weight pressing down, making it harder to breathe. I knew what I wanted to say, but saying it out loud—well, that was different. The truth was, I didn’t know where we stood anymore. I didn’t know where I stood with him. And that scared me more than anything.

I couldn’t deny it—he was starting to mean more to me than I had expected. And yet, the more I tried to keep it casual, the harder it became to just let things unfold. I’d convinced myself for so long that this thing between us was just temporary, something that wouldn’t last. But when he wasn’t around, I realized how much I missed him. How much I wanted to be around him, see his face, hear his voice.

I closed my eyes, shaking my head as I thought about all the times I’d been too scared to admit it. The fear of getting too attached. The fear of him pulling away. The fear that maybe I wasn’t enough for him, or worse—he might not even feel the same.

I didn’t want to face that.

Finally, I heard the little ping of a message. My heart skipped a beat. I unlocked my phone, and there it was: his reply.

"Morning. No promises on the overthinking part. But yeah, let’s meet."

I felt a rush of relief flood over me, followed by a burst of nervous energy. Of course, he would say something like that—Abhimanyu was never one to make things easy. But still, it was a yes. It was enough.

I couldn’t help but laugh softly to myself. He never let his guard down, never let anyone in fully. And yet, here we were, exchanging messages like we were both standing on the edge of something we couldn’t quite name. He was so... complex. So distant at times, and then other times, like when we spoke, there was this connection that felt almost impossible to ignore.

I bit my lip, staring at the screen as the words sank in. Maybe I was making a bigger deal of this than I should. After all, it was just a meet-up, right? Just like before. But somehow, this time, it felt different. I was different. We were different.

I put my phone down, staring at the ceiling. What was I even supposed to say when we met? What if I made things weird? What if I said the wrong thing?

I could feel the tension building inside me, and yet, I didn’t want to push him away. I didn’t want to make him feel like I was waiting for something from him that he wasn’t ready to give. But then again, wasn’t that exactly what I was doing? Waiting. Hoping. Wondering if he might feel the same.

The thought of him pulling away, of him shutting me out, sent a wave of panic through me. I didn’t want to think about it. Not now, not when everything seemed like it was finally moving forward, even if it was in baby steps.

I pushed myself off the wall and grabbed my jacket, heading for the door. The idea of seeing him—of being near him—was enough to make me feel like everything else in my world didn’t matter. There was something about him that made all the noise inside my head fade into the background. And even if it was just for a moment, I wanted that peace. I wanted to feel that connection again.

The clock ticked louder in my ears as I made my way to school, each step feeling like it brought me closer to something I wasn’t quite sure I was ready for. But for once, I wasn’t backing down. I wasn’t going to run.

I didn’t know what was going to happen when we met. But I was starting to realize something important. No matter how much I tried to pretend I wasn’t invested, or how much I told myself it wasn’t a big deal, it was. He mattered. And maybe, just maybe, he would start to understand that.

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