20. Opening Up ♔︎

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| King of Hearts |

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By: Janae Destiny

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When the five of them got back from lunch, everyone was so tired that they all ended up taking naps anywhere they felt was the most comfortable. Ava ended up asleep cuddled up next to Kiara on the couch. Marco was on the floor in the living room. Cameron ended up asleep on the loveseat. And Monie, she was the only one who actually made it to her bed.

Marco was the first one to wake up from the nap and he had slept so long that the sun was at the beginning stages of setting. And even though they have a breathtaking view from the floor-to-ceiling windows in the condo, he felt like he wanted to be just a little bit closer. He slid the glass door open enough to let a cool breeze into the living room and went out onto the balcony. He sat down on one of the white chairs and just stared out at the sunset before him.

And for what felt like the first time since they'd reached Miami, and maybe the first time in much longer than that, he felt completely at peace. Because much like Monie, Marco is always on edge too. His brain is always running a million miles an hour and never stops. He feels pressured to do his best and be his best at all times to the point where he puts a lot of pressure on himself. And the pressure doesn't come from Monie, because she will love and support him no matter what, the pressure comes from himself. It's internalized.

He strives to be the best so he can one day take care of his sisters so everything won't always be on Monie.

He pushes himself in basketball because he knows he has the potential to make it to the league one day. He pushes himself in school so he'll have a good career to fall back on if the whole athletic thing doesn't end up working out in his favor. He pushes himself at home when it comes to helping Monie take care of Ava and keeping up with the house.

But sitting out there on the balcony, looking out at the sunset on the edge of the ocean, he felt like he could finally take a much-needed deep breath. He felt like he could finally take a step back from everything and just exist and enjoy the good life still has to offer no matter the struggles and hardships they've been through. Because never in a million years did he think he'd be living in a luxury Miami Beach condo owned by the daughter of his favorite NBA Allstar.

"I miss you guys," Marco whispered into the beautiful pink and purple hue of the sky. He whispered it into the rolling waves of the ocean and into the sand lightly blowing across the beach from the light summer breeze.

"Every single day I miss y'all so fucking much. There's this saying I've heard that says, If I die, don't cry. Just look up at the sky and say goodbye. I... don't think I'll ever be ready to say goodbye. Saying goodbye feels like letting go and that scares me. At least when I feel the pain of it all, I remember. I remember the warm hugs and the way you guys smiled. I remember the smell of your favorite cologne and perfume. I remember the car rides and singing along to loud music. I'm scared that if I say goodbye, I'll forget. If I say goodbye, I'm scared the memories will fade into nothingness..."

Marco didn't even realize he started crying until he heard a voice call from behind him. "Hey, bro. Are you okay?"

"Fuck," Marco muttered as he quickly wiped at his eyes even though Cameron had already seen that he was crying. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You sure? I didn't mean to disturb you, I just saw the door open and—" he backed up until he reached the sliding door again.

"You're good. You can stay if you want."

"I love watching the sunset," Cameron said, changing the subject away from the fact that Marco was just out there crying. "It's so calming. It makes me think and reflect on a lot going on in my life."

"What all do you have to reflect on?"

"A lot," Cameron answered. He was going to leave it at that, but he felt a sudden urge to be real with Marco. He felt like he could trust him for some reason. And in turn, he hoped that maybe Marco could trust him too. "I feel like I should be lucky as hell to be living here now," he continued as he leaned over the balcony's glass railing. "So many people back home would kill to be in this position. They fight hard to try and move to places like this."

"But?" Marco encouraged him to keep going because he knew there was more.

"But I can't help thinking of everything and everyone I left back home. It wasn't always the easiest, but it's home, you know. Then to be uprooted from everything I've ever known and forced into a situation in which I have no say is... frustrating. It's frustrating because I feel like they don't take my feelings into consideration since I'm so young. It's even more frustrating knowing that my whole life has been one huge lie."

"Yeah, I heard your frustration earlier when me and Kiara went to pick you up. Didn't understand much of what you were saying because your accent is thick as hell, but I could hear it in your voice. And I know exactly what that's like. I know all too well what it's like to feel like you have zero control over your own life."

"In what way do you mean?"

"My parents were killed when I was six," Marco said. "I'm sorry if that was too heavy," he apologized when there was an awkward amount of silence afterward.

"It's not heavy, it's real. My dad passed when I was a baby, and my mom... she's dying. And I didn't find out until this morning. That's the real reason why Aunty Chloe and I were arguing. My mom has been hiding it from me. Says she didn't want me to worry and that it would distract me from school and running track."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah, I can definitely understand why you wouldn't want to stay here with something like that going on back home."

"They both think it would be better for me to be here, but I think it's all a bunch of bullshit. And only recently did I find out that Chloe is my real mother and that my mom is my great-aunt. And my father, I don't know who the fuck my real father even is."

"Damn," Marco let out a deep breath because he wasn't expecting that at all.

"Yeah," Cameron sighed as he looked out at the crashing waves in front of him. "I guess we both have some pretty heavy stuff going on in our lives."

"That's a little unfortunate. I was banking on being the only new kid with the dark, tragic backstory. You kinda stole my spotlight here."

"You like to make jokes," Cameron said but still let out a slight laugh.

"It's the only way I know how to cope. I laugh to keep myself from tearing the world apart from anger."

"Hmm... I guess I better start laughing then." Cameron's body relaxed after he said it, not even realizing that he was holding his hands in such tight fists that his nails began digging into his palms.

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Back inside the condo, Kiara had woken up in complete darkness. The sun had fully set, and she didn't have any idea what time it was. What she did know, was that Ava was still fast asleep on her chest, so she was careful not to wake the little girl as she got up. She realized Marco and Cameron were gone but figured they had gone to one of the food places nearby to get something to eat.

After using the bathroom, Kiara went to Monie's room and slowly opened the door in case she was still sleeping.

"I'm awake," Monie said from the other side of the door.

"I wasn't sure," Kiara pushed it open and invited herself in.

Monie was still in bed but sat up and turned the lamp on beside her to bring some light into the dark room.

"Hey, King."

"Hey," Kiara sat down on the edge of the bed. She wanted to bring up the obvious, the phone conversation between Monie and Aiden from earlier that afternoon, but wasn't sure how exactly to do that, which is why she was relieved when Monie was the first one to bring it up.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that conversation earlier. Aiden can be very... I love my daughter but I hate her father."

"I think you've mentioned him before, very briefly though. I now see why he isn't someone you'd want to spend a lot of time talking about."

"He just makes me so angry. He failed me, so what? I'm used to people in my life failing me. But Ava, she's innocent in all of this. She deserves a better father. She deserves a father who actually wants to be a part of her life, not one who treats her like she's an afterthought. And you know, a part of me wants to prevent him from ever seeing her again after what he's put us through, but the other part of me knows I shouldn't stop Ava from having a relationship with her father. My biggest fear is that she grows up and blames me for not having a good relationship with him."

"You know it wouldn't actually be your fault, right?"

"Logically, I know that, but that's not how it's gonna feel. I just want to do right by my kids, but somehow I feel like I still fall short. I can either give them everything they need in order to be successful in the future, or I can pursue my own dreams and desires. I've never been in a position where I can do both at the same time."

"You talking about school again? And the fact that you want to become a neonatal nurse practitioner?"

"That's part of it. Maybe I'll get the chance one day, but for now I'm only focused on getting Marco through school and into the college of his dreams. That's my plan as of right now, that I'll go back to school if he gets accepted into college on an academic or athletic scholarship. Maybe then I'll finally have time to focus a little bit more on myself and my own personal goals."

Kiara sat with what Monie said for a second before even attempting to respond.

"King, you don't have to respond to what I just said," Monie whispered when she noticed Kiara trying to formulate a response in her head. "Actually, I don't think I want you to respond at all."

"I might not always know what to say, but I am listening to you."

"I know you are," Monie reached out and held onto Kiara's hand. "And that's good enough. Thank you. Thank you for really listening to me. Thank you for giving me a space where I feel comfortable enough to share with you."

"And you'll always have this space with me."

"King?"

"Yes, Monie?"

"Would you let me take you out? Like... on a date?"

She wasn't sure why she felt nervous to ask her that. Maybe because they agreed to take things slow or because they both agreed they would just be friends for the time being.

"It doesn't have to be a romantic thing. I'm not hoping for anything to come out of it," she rambled on. "Not like I'm asking you to be my girlfriend or anything. I mean, not that I don't want you to be my girlfriend one day in the future, but it's too soon and I just—"

"Monique," Kiara laughed, cutting her off. She placed her hand on top of Monie's and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "You don't have to try and convince me. I'd love to go out with you."

"Really?" Monie asked with the most genuine smile on her face.

"Of course. A friend date, a romantic date, whatever it is, I can't wait," she said as she gently stroked her thumb across the back of Monie's hand. "I'm happy with whatever it is, as long as I'm with you."

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author's note:

1) i remember someone in a previous chapter saying they ship marco and cameron, and i'm here to let y'all know that's not happening. like at all lol.

2) i'm not officially back, so don't nag me to update because i will only be updating when i feel inspired/have time.

3) it feels good to update again. i've missed my babies sooo much.

4) also, i know this is short, but i just got back so not too muchhh...

idk when i'll be back, but until the next update,

JD <3