Consideration

Beau<3

Hey

How are you?

He and Beau still check in with each other every once in a while, so this text isn't alarming to receive. The Fowler parents left last week and Everett's been feeling kind of lonely ever since, therefore, talking to Beau actually solves his problem of self-imposed isolation.

To: Beau<3

I'm fine hbu?

Beau responds a minute later.

Beau<3

Living it up at my mom's apartment lol

In a previous conversation, Everett learned that Beau is staying on the air mattress in his mom's family room. He feels for his ex who he knows must despise the living situation at the moment, but he's grateful that he at least has a roof over his head.

To: Beau<3

I'm sure that air mattress is doing wonders for your back

Joking about the realities of the circumstances feels like the only thing Everett can do at the moment.

Beau<3

That shit has me walking like an old man when I wake up

They go back and forth for a couple minutes like normal until one text comes in that makes Everett pause in bewilderment.

Beau<3

You should visit soon

Everett isn't sure how to reply to this. The two of them are on good terms, but is it really a smart idea for them to meet up right now? It feels too soon after their breakup for them to be hanging out again.

He responds moments later after some contemplation.

To: Beau<3

Idk if that's a good idea

It's not a definite 'yes' or 'no'.

Beau<3

Please?

That's not a popular word in Beau's vocabulary. Everett is intrigued by what is making his ex this desperate to see him suddenly.

To: Beau<3

Why do you want me to visit?

He decides that it's best to be upfront with his questioning.

Beau<3

I miss you

It's been hard coming back here

I want to see you again

Everett bites at the skin on his thumb as he reads these messages. The familiar feeling of his heart aching makes a return.

To: Beau<3

I miss you too

He places his phone down on the couch next to him where he's sitting and covers his face with both of his hands. Groaning in frustration, he puts his arms behind his head and looks straight ahead of him at the wall as he thinks about how he should follow up that text.

Sighing, he finally picks his phone back up and sends another message before he can overthink it.

To: Beau<3

When should I stop by?

Beau tells him to come over next weekend, but Everett tells him he isn't staying the night. With that boundary set, Beau asks if he can visit on Saturday which Everett agrees to.

Beau<3

I can't wait to see you

To: Beau<3

I'm excited to see you too:)

-

Everett paces around the grocery store, pushing his cart from aisle-to-aisle as he thinks about the phone call with his lawyer that he had not too long ago.

After texting Beau, Everett started to feel stir-crazy. The walls felt like they were closing in on him and all he could do was think about the memories he made there with Charlotte as well as the more recent ones with Beau. Trapped alone with his thoughts, it became clear to him what he needed to do.

"She has no jurisdiction over claiming the house, Mr. Fowler. I assure you we can prove to the judge that she doesn't plan on living there-"

He interrupts the attorney before he can continue any further. "Look—I don't care anymore. At this point, I'm willing to give her the house so we can just be done with this altogether. I'm not sure I can continue living in Sinting anyway, it may be for the best to throw in the towel on this."

The other line is silent for a moment. "If that's what you truly want. Then I will contact the other party to advise them of this update."

He then fled to the grocery store in the hopes of distracting himself for an hour or two. The need for people to be around him was immense, it didn't even matter if it was people he was close to. At the moment, he just needs to not be alone.

Everett is now stopped in the cereal aisle, assessing the selection. Holding a box of Frosted Flakes in one hand and Fruity Pebbles in the other, he suddenly feels a tap on his right shoulder. Jumping in surprise, he turns around to see who is demanding his attention.

His demeanor relaxes once he sees the older woman in front of him, smiling kindly despite his dramatic response to her lightly tapping his shoulder.

"Hello there, stranger," she greets him.

"Hi, Mrs. T. We haven't seen each other in a while, huh?" Everett puts both boxes of cereal in his cart and leans on the handle as he gives his full attention to the old lady. Her cart is half full of what looks to be ingredients for cake and cookies. "How are you doing?" She asks with sincerity in her voice.

He tries to emanate confidence and surety as he responds. "I'm doing fine, thanks for asking. How about yourself?" This earns him a dubious look back.

"I'm doing fine as well—certainly missing the help I had before around the house and shop, but I'll live," Mrs. T subtly brings up Beau without actually saying his name. Everett does feel guilty about taking away her assistance at the bookstore.

"Please don't overwork yourself, Mrs. T. I can try to help you find someone else to work there or I can come in on the weekends to assist with whatever you need," he offers.

She pats him on the arm gently and lets out a soft chuckle. "Don't worry about me, boy. I am more concerned about you right now."

Everett frowns at this. "There's really no reason to be concerned. I'm just focusing on getting through the divorce."

"I'm glad you're able to focus on the divorce, it just breaks my heart because I know how torn up Beau was over everything," she replies in a compassionate tone.

It was only a matter of time before she brought his ex up by name.

"Beau and I are still in contact. I'm visiting him in Columbus next Saturday," he informs her, hoping to lessen her worry over the two of them.

"Do you plan on getting back together?"

Everett freezes at this and looks up and down the aisle to see if anyone was around to hear her question. Luckily, they are the only two shopping for cereal at the moment.

Shaking his head, Everett says, "No, I'm just visiting to check in with him. We don't have any plans to get back together."

"That's a shame," Mrs. T sounds disappointed, "Beau was inconsolable when he first showed up at my house. I was hoping the two of you would be able to work things out."

His stomach turns uncomfortably hearing this information. "Neither of us were ready for a relationship. It's for the best that we are separated now," he tries to explain to her.

"I'm not sure Beau would agree with that. Honestly, I'm convinced he would be willing to do almost anything to get back together with you," she quips back.

Everett's ears feel like they're ringing and his stomach continues to churn anxiously. "I'd love to believe that, but he didn't even want to be seen together as friends. It was for the best that we ended things when we did."

"That must've been very hurtful, I'm sorry you had to go through that," Mrs. T empathizes. "I just think it would be wise to hear him out when you go to visit him. See if he is willing to be seen with you while you're together in Columbus."

"I'll be open-minded during the visit, but I doubt much will change. He made it very clear to his friends that he didn't want to be associated with me," he tells her.

She gives him a sad smile at this. "How disheartening. I still hope you are able to work things out, I'm positive communication would remedy this entire situation."

"Thanks, Mrs. T—I appreciate the advice," Everett concedes, wanting to exit this conversation.

They say their goodbyes and go their separate ways.

-

Back at home, Everett sits at his kitchen counter and reflects as he eats dinner.

Life has felt like an absolute whirlwind since Charlotte left him. The intense dread he felt over his wife's decision to leave was quickly subdued by his run in with his old neighbor. Beau had been full of anger and resentment when he was drunk at the bar. While eating at the diner afterwards, Everett told the irritable man that he could stay the night since he had no other living arrangements at the time.

A friendship then developed over the following weeks which showed a side of Beau that he had never seen before. In high school, Beau was an arrogant asshole who made fun of him and every other person that wasn't in his immediate friend group. As a roommate, Beau was thoughtful and funny—always offering to help around the house and cracking dumb jokes just to make Everett laugh.

The way that they got together was surprising to both of them. Beau hadn't known that the queasy feeling he got when he thought about Everett's sexuality was desire mixed with some jealousy over the idea of Everett moving on to another relationship. Once they figured out what was going on and talked out their expectations, things had felt almost perfect in their little bubble in Sinting.

It really felt like Beau cared for him in a way that even Charlotte wasn't able to. The former-jock always wanted to be around him and would plan dates that Everett never got to experience before in his past relationship. Being taken care of felt good.

Going back to Columbus with Beau, however, was like the unfortunate wake up call that he apparently needed all along. He knew that his boyfriend wasn't ready to come out and he was completely okay with that—he would never push anyone to do anything they're not comfortable doing. With that being said, not wanting people to know that the two of them were even friends hurt Everett more than anything.

The realization that the man that he had become so comfortable with didn't want to be seen or associated with him was too much for Everett to handle. Finn explaining further what had gone down at the bar was the nail in the coffin for him. Not only had his boyfriend refused to say that they were friends, but he also called him a 'loser'.

Everett did a lot of growing up in college. He slowly gained confidence as he navigated his studies as well as his social and romantic life. Charlotte felt like a security blanket to him, allowing him to show the world that he was desirable and worthy of love. Throughout the recent divorce proceedings, he has been questioning if there ever was a true, authentic love between the two of them or if it had just been another box to check off on his imaginary adulthood to-do list.

What he had with Beau felt more passionate and real. Despite the secrecy of it all, he experienced the affection and desire that he always craved from his soon-to-be-ex-wife. He feels foolish that he allowed himself to think that their relationship was ever as serious as he made it out to be in his head.

However, now that they are broken up, Beau is saying that he loves him and misses him. He doesn't know what to think of these proclamations.

Why would he say and do the things that he did if he actually loved him?

Everett desperately wants to accept the admission of love at face value, but Beau's words and actions are on constant replay in the back of his head. Visiting him in Columbus might just be the closure that he needs for this breakup. If he can somehow establish and maintain a friendship with his ex, then hopefully he can move on and live peacefully on his lonesome.