Uneasy

"I'm gonna head to my room. Sorry I got snot on you." Everett finally lifts his head from his friends—now wet—shoulder. Beau's eyebrows are drawn together in concern as he looks at him. "Are you okay to be alone? I can make us something to eat or order a pizza."

Standing up from the couch, Everett wipes his eyes and gives him a watery smile as he replies, "I'll be fine. Thanks for the offer, but I think I just need some sleep."

"Alright.... let me know if you need anything," Beau says and Everett simply gives him a halfhearted thumbs up as he walks away.

He doesn't emerge from his room for the rest of the day. A large plate of spaghetti is wrapped in the fridge waiting for Everett to eat whenever he is ready to face the the world again. Well—maybe not the world, but Beau and the rest of the house at the very least.

Luckily for Everett, Beau works the next day, so he gets the house to himself for pretty much all of Sunday.

At work, Mrs. T has Beau organizing the new shipment of books by genre that they received this morning. He is trying to read a summary on the back of a romance novel, but finds himself having to reread lines due to his mind continuously drifting back to Everett. The guy is going through a lot and Beau is at a loss on how to help him out. This makes him feel an immense amount of guilt considering how much Everett has done for him.

"What do you have against romance novels?" Mrs. T's friendly voice pulls him out of his rumination.

Looking down at the frail woman, Beau lets out a confused, "Huh?"

She smiles warmly at him and gestures towards the book in his hands. "You're staring holes through that book like it personally offended you. What's the matter?"

"Oh—uh, nothing," he sputters. Beau would love to get advice from the wise woman on everything that is happening at the moment, but he doesn't want to spill Everett's secrets.

"Is that so? Well, if there is nothing troubling you, then maybe you can make up some sort of hypothetical situation for me to solve. It'll be like a game," she suggests with a twinkle in her eye.

A vague hypothetical description of what's happening might just be the loophole Beau needs to gain Mrs. T's insights on the current circumstances. He interlocks his fingers and stretches his arms out in front of him—a nervous habit that he's had since he was young—while thinking up an explanation for her.

"Say, hypothetically, I have a friend who has been going through some shi—stuff," he stops himself from cursing before continuing. "I want to help them out, but they just want to be left alone and not talk about it. Yesterday, something life-changing happened to them and they're not handling it well. Like, I think they knew that it was gonna happen, but now it's become really real to them. Is that enough information for your hypothetical game?"

Mrs. T's hand scratches at her pointy chin as she looks at him thoughtfully. "I'm going to throw out some hypothetical topics that can involve significant changes to people's livelihoods and we will go from there. Okay?"

Beau gives here a short nod of acknowledgement.

"From my experience, life-changing situations can involve a variety of factors such as a career change, moving, family, friends.... relationships," she trails off for a second. Beau has a feeling that she has already pieced together what is happening.

"I can personally say that my most life-changing moment—aside from the birth of my wonderful daughter—was the divorce that I went through with my ex-husband. Unfortunately, he decided to cheat on me with his high school sweetheart. I was absolutely heartbroken and distraught when I found out about the affair. We were married for fourteen years and had been raising our beautiful twelve year old girl at the time, but neither of those things seemed to hold much importance to him."

As she tells her story, Beau can't help but feel that maybe she doesn't actually know what is going on with Everett and Charlotte. Neither of them had an affair, as far as he knows. Nevertheless, he supposes that she did accurately guess that it is a relationship issue.

With her hands folded and resting on the counter in front of Beau, Mrs. T carries on with her anecdote.

"If I were to give advice to you and your hypothetical friend—I would say that the damage has been done. All you can do now is be there for them. God knows how much I relied on my sister while going through my divorce. Even when I tried my hardest to push her away, she stood by my side. When I would shut myself in my room, she would help my daughter with her schoolwork and cook us dinner. When I was up late crying and feeling sorry for myself, she would barge in and hug me until I felt silly about all of my blubbering. It's okay to give your friend space to grieve and process their feelings, but sometimes you need to force them to open their eyes and see that the world isn't ending. The life-changing thing that has happened to them can be spun into something positive and beautiful. The lord had a plan for me and I believe that it was to love and raise my baby to be the independent young woman that she is today. Well, that and Him guiding me to meet my adoring second husband—God rest his soul—who I spent many magnificent years with. Point is, I'm certain He has a plan for your friend, you and everyone else on this planet as well."

"I'm sorry all of that happened to you, Mrs. T. Major respect for how you handled everything, though. I think I get what you're saying and I'll try to be there for my hypothetical friend and get him—uh, I mean them, to talk to me later." Beau is confusing himself with all of the hypothetical talk and is pretty sure he has messed up the structure of their conversation. Mrs. T gives him another gentle smile despite this.

"Happy to help. Please give Everett a hug for me when you get home," she says before walking into the nonfiction section of the store. Beau can only stare after her as she exits their perplexing, but helpful conversation.

So much for not spilling Everett's secrets.

-

"Oh cool, you're here. I got you this." Beau hands Everett a cupcake that he bought for him after work. He borrows Everett's other car to get to and from work and likes to pick up treats every now and then as a non-verbal 'thank you' for everything that he does for Beau.

The cupcake is red velvet, which Beau has quickly learned to be Everett's favorite cake flavor.

"Thanks. How was work?" Everett asks as he unwraps the cupcake and licks at the cream cheese frosting.

Beau sprawls out on the couch next to the man who looks to have been sulking all day in his pajamas. "It was fine, I guess. A mom and her kid came into the store, but the lady was on her phone not paying attention to the little fucker. He ended up running into a display that Mrs. T literally just had me put up and completely knocked it over—so that was fucking annoying."

Everett smiles at the story, but his eyes still look worryingly faraway and desolate.

Letting out a sigh, Beau decides to bite the bullet and start the dreaded discussion. "Please give me Charlotte's number. I can call or shoot her a text and clear up what happened." He tries to be cool about this request, but definitely sounds like he's begging.

"I appreciate you wanting to help, but I already told you yesterday that her mind is made up. I don't think what you said was the nail in the coffin for her final decision. She just doesn't see a future with me." Everett put down the cupcake and is now picking at the edge of his large worn t-shirt.

Beau pauses for a minute as his mind replays what had happened less than twenty-four hours ago. He finds himself thinking about one thing more than anything else and can't stop himself from questioning his friend about it.

"Have you cheated on Charlotte with men before?"

Everett looks up from his t-shirt and glares at Beau so fiercely that it makes him immediately want to take back his question.

"Are you fucking serious? No—of course I haven't cheated on her. I haven't cheated on her with a man, woman or anyone in between."

Despite the guilt he feels for asking, Beau presses on out of morbid curiosity.

"Then what did she mean about you sleeping with men 'again'?"

This causes Everett to freeze and almost instantly go from looking murderous to anxious. Beau would find it comical if he wasn't so confused and worried about the man sitting next to him.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I'm bi. The relationship I had freshman year of college that I was telling you about that I didn't fully consider to be a relationship was with a man. I told Charlotte about him when we started dating and she.... wasn't thrilled to hear about that part of my life."

"Wow. Okay...." Beau is at a loss for words once again.

Everett somehow manages to look even more miserable hearing this response. He avoids eye contact as he sheepishly asks, "Are you, like, weirded out now?"

Still searching for something to say, Beau thinks about how he's never been friends with a gay person before. He doesn't think he's homophobic, but he definitely feels extremely uncomfortable at the moment. However, Everett has been endlessly kind to him and he doesn't want to make the guy feel worse than he already does.

"Um—no. I'm not weirded out," Beau says unconvincingly.

His roommate does not look reassured by this shaky statement, so Beau abruptly stands and announces, "I'm gonna make dinner," before scattering off to the kitchen.

Beau doesn't have a wide range of recipes that he can successfully cook, so he whips together some simple baked chicken and vegetables for the two of them. He calls Everett in when everything is ready and they sit at the kitchen table across from each other as they eat in silence.

This wouldn't normally be cause for alarm, but the air now feels odd between the two of them. Scarfing down everything on his plate, Beau's eyes never lift from where they are laser-focused on his fork and food. Everett clears his throat and timidly asks, "You're sure you don't feel uncomfortable around me?"

"Yep. I'm definitely not uncomfortable at all," Beau responds before promptly getting up from the table with his empty plate.

"Just leave the dishes at the sink. I'll wash up since you did the cooking," Everett sounds defeated as he instructs Beau on what to do. Beau, in turn, nods once at him and leaves to go to his room.

After showering, Beau lays in bed where he continues to think about Everett. His curly hair seemed limp and subdued much like Everett himself. His pale skin looked ghostlier than usual and when he smiled, it didn't reach his eyes in the way that Beau is used to. Furthermore, Beau now knows that his friend is bi. As in bisexual. As in he is attracted to both men and women.

Why is this information so jarring to him?

It is 2024—many people are gay, or whatever, nowadays. So what if Everett is part of that community? His sexuality doesn't impact Beau in the slightest. Like—for example—when Beau thinks of Everett and his soon-to-be-ex-wife, he feels annoyed. Of course, that's only because the woman has caused Everett so much pain as of recently. On the flip side, when he thinks of Everett and his non-relationship with that anonymous man from college.... Beau actually doesn't know what to think. For some reason, he also feels annoyed about it, but in a different way from when he thinks about Everett and Charlotte.

Oh no—Beau thinks to himself—Am I homophobic?