25. A Coawardâs Words YILEYNA His apology had shaken me, but it wasnât the words he spoke that had gotten to me, it was the emotion in it, the pain in his eyes and the obvious regret. It gave me some clarity. Even when Ailema had comforted me, I realised Theon was also suffering, far more than he showed. I had wanted to go to him, but my own emotions had overwhelmed me, the pain I felt... how could I still care for him despite what he had done? Even if he regretted it and was misguided, it confused me. There was pain and love within me, paired with the intense desire to pounce upon him.
I needed to control myself. This hunger for his physical touch was beginning to scare me, and although I wondered if another manâs touch would help, I couldnât do it.
He consumed my heart and mind.
The following day, the mention of that apology was not brought up again, but I felt a bit lighter. I just wish I had Mom or Dadâs view on things, what would they advise me? Deep down I knew the answer to that, my parents had raised me well but I just wish they were here.
We had arrived at Eastcourt, and despite it being a big city, it was not as welcoming or busy as Westerfell. We split from the crew and Theon, and I made our way towards Lochfox.
We had cloaks on and had our hoods up. Thanks to Flynnâs distraction, we were able to sneak away with the help of heavy fog.
We had travelled by foot, and we were away from the city, I glanced over at Theon frowning. I had suggested shifting twice, but he had refused. âI donât think a bright white wolf with a fluffy tail is going to blend in.â He remarked after the third time I suggested it.
âOh really? Or are you just afraid that Iâll be faster?â I challenged. âThe fog will hide us.â
âWe travel by foot.â
I frowned and came to a stop.
âWe are wasting time, Theon.â
âThen shall we take horses?â He shot back, his irritation rising.
I was about to argue when I frowned, turning and looking up at him sharply. âIs it because you are unable to shift?â I asked, stopping in my tracks. His heart skipped a beat, it was slight and his face remained almost the same, but I had caught it.
âI just donât want toââ.
I cut him off, placing a finger to his lips as my gaze dipped to his chest.
âTheon... how are you not healing?â I asked, frowning as I grabbed his shirt, ready to push it up, only for him to stop me.
His grip on my wrist was tight yet not painful.
âIâm fine, itâs just a small injury. We carry on, on foot.â He growled.
âI want to see it. How did it happen?â
Our eyes met and I could see he was mulling it over. âAs I said, let it go, we are wasting time.â âNo. We are wasting time because you are behaving stubbornly. Stop being so childish, Theon!â I snapped, my frustration growing.
His eyes flashed gold as he glared at me. âFine. It happened when you rejected me.â
My eyes flew open in shock as I stared at him in sheer surprise. I felt as if someone had just slapped me across the face.
The memory of that moment returned to me, finding out the truth about my parents and then losing it. I had dug my nails into him and ripped through his chest, with the aim to kill... So all this time, he hadnât healed?
My stomach lurched as I pulled free from his hold, lifting his shirt up to reveal the bandages that were wrapped around his entire torso. The faint pink that was already staining the bandages told me he wasnât healing.
My heart thumped as I looked him over. âIâm fine, itâs healing, just a bit fucking slower.â He tried to move away, but I didnât let go.
âWhy... Why didnât you heal already?â I muttered, worry and fear filling me. He pulled away forcefully, yanking his top down.
âTheon, tell me.â
Our eyes met and he clenched his jaw, he knew we were wasting time. âA sirenâs touch in rage is.â âDeath.â I whispered, my heart thudding as I stared at the man before me.
Death.
He was dying slowly. Now the dullness in his eyes made sense. Gawking up at him beyond those sexy looks, I realised he looked pretty pale too... âI deserved it, now shall we carry on walking?â He asked me pointedly. 1 I frowned, wanting to see the wounds, but I didnât push it. âHow about I shift, and you can ride on my back?â I suggested. 2 He stared at me as if I had just grown another head. âNot happening.â 2 âWhatâs wrong with that?â I huffed, falling into step by his side. The guilt I felt was still eating up at me. âPut your ego aside.â
âNo.â
âTheon. Please. Weâll be faster, we need to head to Naran...â I trailed off, realising what was in Naran... Something that could heal all illnesses and injuries. âWhat is it?â He asked, noticing the change in my beating heart. I shook my head, trying to hide the ray of hope that ignited within me. âNothing. Nothing at all. Letâs hurry.â
We finally arrived at Lochfox, but I could tell something wasnât right. Theon was frowning deeply as he looked around at the rundown buildings. Some looked charred by fir,e and others were extremely illâkept. The further into the small village we went, the worse it got. But there were still no signs of his pack, or much life, save the few lone wolves or humans.
âHave you ever been here before?â I asked quietly. âA few times, we once had some of our people here. There was also another Pack that resided here. Seems they left...â
âThen where do you think they have gone?â I asked.
âI donât know, but I intend to find out.â His reply was cold, and I could sense the anger in it. We carried on in silence, the roads becoming rockier. It was obvious no one had been here in a while. âI donât think anyone has lived here recently.â I murmured, my foot slipping on some rubble.
Theonâs arm shot out and he grabbed my wrist, steadying me.
âCareful.â .
My heart skipped a beat when he pulled me close, his arm snaking around my waist as our eyes met. My core clenched as I felt his entire body against mine. I slowly tugged away, trying not to focus on how good his body felt, and looked away as we continued, but his hand didnât leave my waist. Theon led the way further in, he clearly had a goal in mind. But with each passing minute, my worry for his sister was growing. I just hoped she was ok, wherever she was.
It was a short while later when we finally saw a small home standing alone, it wasnât in much better condition than the rest of the town, but the puffs of smoke from the window and the glow of a fire from inside beckoned us.
Theon knocked on the door, and it wasnât long before it was pulled open by a middleâaged man. His smile vanished upon seeing Theon, who pushed his way inside. âMay I come in?â I asked, smiling warmly. The man looked me over, his gaze lingering on my eyes before he nodded, but I didnât miss the fear in him.
âWelcome to my humble abode, AâAlpha Theon.â Theon frowned as he turned to the man, I shut the door behind me.
âNo need for formalities, I came here to find my sister, only to find that thereâs no sign of any of the pack in Lochfox, yet you are still here.â
âWhy would you come to find your sister? Did your father not tell you where she is?â He asked keenly, almost curiously. I frowned, as Theon looked at him sharply. âHe told me sheâs in Lochfox.â
âThen does he know you have come here?â The man asked, wiping the bead of sweat from his forehead.
I watched him sharply, seeing the slight tremble in his hand as he looked at Theon.
Why was he so afraid?
âWhat has that got to do with anything, Cadoran?â Theon asked sharply.
âWe wonât hurt you.â I promised, giving him a gentle smile. âWe are only here for answers.â
The man gave me a small grimace, that I was certain was meant to be a smile. The suspicion didnât vanish from his eyes, although he let out a deep breath.
âWâwell I mean no wrong, after all, you are my alpha.â Cadoran bowed to Theon, making me frown. âBut I didnât think Alpha Theoden would send you on a wild goose chase when he knows she isnât here.â
Theonâs heart was beating as he stared at the man, about to walk over to him when I stepped in front of him, placing a hand on Theonâs chest, shaking my head slightly. Our eyes me and he frowned, despite obeying me and staying in his spot. I didnât move away, turning to Cadoran once more. âWill you tell us everything that happened here?â âWhâwho are you, my lady?â He asked, taking out a handkerchief. Fear filled the room as the terrified man looked at me and wiped his forehead. There was nothing to hide. âI am Yileyna DeâLacor, daughter of this kingdom and the heart of Kaeladia. We have come for answers, Cadoran, to fix the wrongs of the kings before us and we need to know anything you can tell us. It is obvious you are scared, but why? What happened?â âThe heart... then you shouldâshould not be here...â He mumbled, looking at Theon with fear.
âItâs ok. Theon can be trusted.â I said, looking up at the man I loved and thought I hated. Somehow that hatred was fading...
âI wouldnât trust him, my queen.â He whispered.
The bravest attempt he had made.
âI assure you Iâm questioning my fatherâs actions. So, if you can tell me what has happened here for the last two years, I would appreciate it.â Cadoran sighed before he motioned to the wornâout sofa in front of the hearth.
âThen I suggest you sit down; it is a long story.â He said quietly, his eyes shadowed. I looked up at Theon, only to realise I still had my hand on his chest and was right up against him. My heart skipped a beat and I slowly moved away. I thought I saw a small smirk on his lips as we took a seat.
âWould you like tea?â âNo, thank you.â I declined politely, giving him a smile. He took a deep breath, putting distance between himself and Theon as he sat on a stool near the hearth, placing his hands on his knees and taking another shuddering breath.
âI have always been a lone wolf living on the edge of the territory, not wanting trouble, you know that Alpha Theon. After all, the packâs ways were not for me...â He cast a furtive look at Theon, who remained silent. âAfter you left... your fatherâs ways became more obvious, with you gone there was no front to put up. He pulled back the search parties for that wretched siren who killed our Luna. He said our focus was on getting stronger... Even though we were growing, we werenât enough. He wanted an army, one that would be far more powerful than any other, and so... he started selling them...â
His eyes became haunted, and sadness filled them, making the man look older than he probably was.
âThem?â Theon asked sharply.
âOur women.â 1 I stared at him stunned, as silence fell in the room, but Theonâs heart was thundering louder than ever. I took his hand in mine, trying to calm the raging aura that now erupted around him.
âExplain.â His hoarse command came, his chest was heaving, fighting his emotions.
âThe Beta argued but he killed him, telling us anyone who disobeyed him would end up the same. For each young woman, depending on her beauty and her status, not to mention if she was a virgin... He sold them to other Alphas, or anyone willing to trade for men.â
âNo... Dad couldnât... What about Thea?â Theon asked, his voice cracking as he stared at the man intensely. 1 Cadoran looked at him with sympathy, now clearly realising Theon knew nothing. âShe was an Alphaâs daughter. At first he didnât even consider selling her, knowing what she meant to you, but when The Alpha of the Dark Moon Pack came offering him two thousand men for her, the Alpha agreed... She screamed and shouted, saying she wouldnât forgive him; the entire pack heard it... but he simply said she should be grateful that an Alpha was taking her and she should be proud to do this for her kingdom.â Cadoranâs eyes filled with sadness before he looked up at Theon. I too turned to look at Theon, who was trying to hide his pain, his grip on my hand tight as his entire body shook with the revelation. ⢠âDid no one else try to stop him?â Theon asked quietly, his voice shaking with anger. âThose who did were killed. Before he left, he killed anyone he didnât trust, thatâs when I ran... like the coward I am. With the help of a serum from a witch, I staged my death, the serum stopped my heart beating for a few minutes. I wasnât a concern for them and they didnât do a thorough check on the small folk. When they destroyed the town, I lay there waiting for them all to leave... and now here I am, in my home that they forgot to destroy as itâs so far out. Alone.â Theon pulled his hand free as he stood up, turning his back on me, running his fingers through his hair.
âWhen was she sold?â He asked.
âSix months back, Alpha.â âFuck!â Theon growled, punching the wall.
Cadoran flinched and I stood up, my heart breaking for all those women who were sold.
We had to find them all... but how?
âTheon...â
âI wonât forgive him. How could he do that to her... to any of them... This isnât right.â âI know itâs not.â I whispered softly, placing my hand on his back. âI canât believe I listened to him like a fucking fool.â He whispered, his voice barely audible. 2 âTheon, you didnât know. Donât blame yourself, everything thatâs happened has been staged by Theoden. We need to defeat him.
I know heâs your father, but you need to take over and become the Alpha of your pack andâ âMy pack? He killed my pack! Those men are mere soldiers whom he has purchased! Iâm going to fucking destroy him.â âTheon!â I shouted, placing my hand on his chest as he tried to push past him.â
Calm down! We will do this together.â Theon ran a hand through his hair, looking back at Cadoran, who was watching us curiously.
âWhat else has my father done? Tell me the truth. Everything you know, I want you to tell me now!â Theon commanded.
Cadoran lowered his head, before he looked up at Theon.
âIf I speak, and I will, what guarantee will you give that my safety will remain?â
âI give you my word, nothing will happen to you.â I spoke before Theon could, knowing in his anger he may not be so pleasant.
Cadoran looked towards the window, fear once again settling into him.
âAlpha Theoden has dark allies, my queen, and I fear for us all, but I am a coward and I donât wish to die.â
âYou fucking wonât, now spit it out.â Theon growled.
âTheon please, give him time.â I whispered. I could feel the bandages under my fingertips, smell the faint smell of blood, and I knew we didnât have much time. âPlease tell us, the more we know the better.â
âThen we go back, back to the time I first realised he was up to no good... a time when he killed someone very dear to you, Alpha Theon. Perhaps you have forgotten her... but she became a distraction to you, and although she was the daughter of his good friend, he didnât care. He had her killed in such a horrible way by our own men. I was there... but my job was to cry for help.â
I could feel Theonâs heart pounding violently, but my curiosity heightened.
What girl?
âHer name.â Theonâs asked dangerously.
But something told me he already knew the name.
âNone other than your first love, Alpha Theon. Iyara. Your father had her killed when she became a distraction for you.â a)
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