A Burning Regret THEON The weather was pleasant, and the sea was calm. It was the following day after the attack, and night had fallen. Everyone was sitting on the deck enjoying the music Leto was playing. Tankards of hot mead sat on the tables in front of us, with platters of snacks as we enjoyed the calm. Two sirens had approached hours after that attack, but after a word with Yileyna, they had swum away. I still donât know how to feel about them. For them to not attack us was... strange. Her words and concern when she had turned back to us were still fresh in my mind.
âWe should be safe from here, the sirens and my guards will keep an eye beneath the surface but... even they donât know why the Leviathan was after us. It is not meant to be anywhere near here.â
The Leviathan... Something about it niggled at my mind. When she had encased it in ice, the darkness I had felt from it... it felt oddly familiar to the darkness I feel around Arabella... but how was that even possible? A witch, even a dark one, couldnât control a monster created by a god, especially to make it come after us... 4 The Leviathan was meant to stay in the depths of the ocean. Why would it attack Yileyna, someone who was tied to the sea?
Everyone now knew what Yileyna was, and to my surprise they accepted her, seeing her for who she was and not her being a siren. But it wasnât so surprising, the crew of The Siren Killer were quite diverse, and they didnât see others by their race but for who they are.
Although it had been pretty surprising to them that they had accepted it. It was impressive how she was able to win everyone over.
As for me... I was unable to forget about what happened between us, the way she had moaned... the way she had obviously wanted me... Fuck, just the thought made me hard.
Even now she was dancing with Cleo, whilst Leto strummed his guitar as he sang his sea shanties.
I listened to the words, my eyes on Yileyna, she was far more beautiful than I could put into words. The changes in her appearance only made her sexier and it was fucking hard being around her. Her eyes remained in that multitude of iridescent colours, and even just looking into them made me lose myself.
Right now, she was wearing a white dress that just about covered her ass, her corset accentuating her curves. Her sensual laugh reached my ears as Cleo spun her around, giving me the perfect view of her. Damn her breasts were fucking fine...
Remembering the feel of her body against mine, I forced myself to look away, feeling pleasure rush south. I picked up my tankard, downing it. I looked back at her, only for our eyes to meet. Her heart skipped a beat, but I refused to look away, or I just wasnât able to...
There was no way that we could be together, not after everything I had done, but why did the urge to pull her close, apologise, and fuck her senseless, consume my mind?
Regardless... I still needed to apologise properly for actions that I truly regretted. I stood up, shooting pain rushing through my chest as I did, but I didnât let it. show on my face, I had become accustomed to it. I walked to the edge of the boat, just as the sound of footsteps approached. I frowned, knowing who it was before they even spoke. âCan I get you anything, Commander?â
Barbara asked. 2 âNo.â I replied curtly, not sparing her a glance. I knew exactly what she wanted, and if I wasnât so fucking hung over Yileyna, I would have taken her offer. But the only woman I wanted was her, and I knew none other would cut it for me.
The moment Barbara put her hand on my arm, my eyes snapped to her, flashing dangerously. âDo not touch me.â I almost growled, trying my fucking best to keep my voice down. âAre you sure? You seem tense.â She squeezed my shoulder, and I clenched my jaw, knowing my muscles were all knotted up. âOne hundred fucking percent sure.â I shot back, moving away from her and walking away towards the back of the ship, away from them all. I could feel Yileynaâs eyes on me, but I didnât turn back.
I once said we were heaven and hell... but now we were further apart. We were still the opposites of one another, but only now that distance between us was far bigger.
The sound of light footsteps on the wood and her intoxicating scent filled my nose, I clenched my jaw.
Not now, Yileyna... Not when the urge to devour her was fucking strong.
âHere, I got you another one.â She held out a tankard to me, and I was forced to look at her, taking it.
She smiled slightly, raising hers, and we knocked them together before taking a gulp.
âThanks.â I said after a moment, not looking at her.
She leaned her back against the rail next to me, tilting her head as she observed me.
âSomething on my face?â I asked, cocking my brow as I glanced down at her. She pursed her plump lips, a slight frown on her face. âTheon, are you injured?â
âNo.â
âYouâre lying.â She murmured, stepping closer and sniffing me. âI can smell blood. Itâs faint but itâs there... besides, your eyes look duller.â
âNo, they donât actually, just because you became somewhat... dazzling, everything else probably just looks washed out to you.â
1 She frowned, staring into my eyes. âNo.Your eyes have always been vibrant, Theon. You donât look ok.â
âThanks. Like I said, your view on things has changed.â I retorted coldly, downing the drink and placing the tankard down with a thud, turning away.
âTheon.â Her irritation was clear, but I ignored her, walking away when she grabbed hold of my arm and blocked my view, glaring up at me.
âDonât block my path, Little Storm, or I will throw you overboard.â I threatened, a threat with no force behind it.
A small smile curled her lips and she smirked. âThe water welcomes me.â She reminded me smugly. âHow nice.â I replied in the same tone, with added mockery.
She frowned, looking me over. I didnât miss how her eyes lingered on the front of my pants, her heart thumping.
Interesting âTheon, if youâre injured, why donât you just tell me, did the Leviathan hurt you? âShe asked sharply.
âDoesnât really matter. Now, unless you want me to push you up against the beam behind you and fuck you until you scream.
Move.â I whispered dangerously.
Her heart was pounding, and I didnât miss the way she swallowed.
Taking her silence as obedience, I stepped around her, continuing on my way down.
âThen why did you refuse her?â She asked quietly.
I didnât need to ask who she meant.
âWhat do you want to hear, Little Storm? Because I donât think anything I say will help in any fucking way.â I replied quietly, as I glanced at her over my shoulder.
âI donât know either, I just... Ignore me.â She frowned, running her fingers through her hair. She was frustrated, agitated even, and I could see her nails were growing.
âAre you alright?â I asked sharply, I didnât need her going crazy siren mode on us.
She nodded, her cheeks flushing and confusing me as she quickly backed away.
âYes, I am.â She shook her head, and I noticed the tips of her hair that had begun to change return to normal.
âThat didnât look normal to me.â I frowned, turning and walking back towards her. âIf thereâs something you are hiding from me, then itâs better you tell me now.â
Was she unable to control herself?
She frowned, crossing her arms under her breasts, and it took my fucking all not to admire them.
âI have hidden nothing of importance from you.â She retorted, her gaze dipping over me before she looked back into my eyes defiantly. âYouâre the one who refused to tell me whatâs wrong with you.â
Her gaze became suspicious, and I wondered what sheâd think if I told her it was her attack that had left this injury on me.
âI donât need to share it with a dumb little blonde.â, She blinked, not expecting that, before her eyes narrowed.
âWell, you found this blonde appealing.â
âDoesnât mean youâre any less dumb.â I retorted, almost smirking at the fact I had managed to deviate the conversation. She glowered up at me. âWell, you are no smarter than I am, you have done some pretty foolish things too.â
âYeah, although I donât think they were as foolish as they were terrible...â This was my chance. I frowned as I looked into her eyes. âI know my words alone will never be enough, nor will they change the past, but if I could do it all over again then I would make sure they were safe. In all of this, I would have done my best to keep them away from any harm.â , I looked into her eyes, which were now filled with pain and vulnerability, her heart beating wildly as my words sank in. âIt will never be enough, but itâs one of my greatest regrets, one that I know I can never be forgiven for and one that I can never fix. I am sorry, Yileyna, and I really mean it.â My voice was quiet, blending in with the hum of Letoâs singing and the crashing waves of the ocean.
Our eyes were locked, hers pooled with tears that spilt silently down her cheeks, the sky darkened as rain began to fall gently.
The sky was crying with her. âIâm sorry.â I repeated softly, as her lips quivered, and for a moment I remembered the young girl who had been vulnerable and alone as she ran to give me the key to our cabin that snowy day... âIâm fucking sorry for everything.â I wasnât meant to let my emotions take over, and I didnât want a simple apology to weaken her resolve, but she deserved to hear it. Especially if I was killed before I got the chance again.
I looked at her, and although I wanted to pull her into my arms and comfort her, I wouldnât, because this wasnât an act to make her heart soften to me. âIâm sorry.â With those final words, I turned and left her, just as a small sob left her lips. 1 It tore me up, leaving her like that, but I didnât deserve her. I stopped on the stairs, looking at Ailema the hybrid woman, I had a feeling she heard everything. âComfort her.â I commanded before I made my way to my cabin.
Entering, I closed the door behind me and sat on the small bed, running a hand through my hair.
I loved her but I had lost her, and it was indeed too late.
This was the most I could do...
I tried to distract myself, thinking of anything but the woman I had left in tears... once more.
Tomorrow morning, we will find ourselves in Eastcourt, and from there I would head to Lochfox. It should take no more than two days, and by the following night, we would be back on board.
I was looking forward to seeing Thea, it had been two years since I last saw her and in all of this, it would be nice to see someone who didnât think of me as anything more than just her brother. I would say someone who loved me for me, but I donât think even she knew what I have done... I looked at the door, the temptation to go see if Yileyna was ok nearly overcoming me, but I stayed put. Deep down my wolfâs restlessness gave me a clear message, one I was trying to deny: Yileyna still loved me.
But even if she did, those feelings would soon fade away too, because no one could love a killer. 3
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