THIRTY-SIX

"LORD SAVE ME MY DRUG IS MY BABY I'LL BE USING FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!"

———

August 16th, 2018

"You're certain about this girl."

"Hm?"

"Taylor. I know you heard me,"

"No, Mom, I honestly didn't," Taylor chuckled, finishing the last sip of her mimosa and placing the glass down on the table.

It was a rare day between tour stops and the VMAs were a little more than a week away. Time seemed to be flying at an incomprehensible pace. On top of Ivy's approaching arrival into the world, Taylor was starting loose plans for her next album. No matter how chaotic her present was, it seemed as though her mind was always in the future. Even still, her mother somehow managed to pin her down for a brunch reservation.

"You want to be with Thea for a long time," Andrea reiterated.

"Yes?" Taylor quirked an eyebrow. A slightly-drunk smile formed across her features as she traced a circle on the table with her finger. "I feel like I've made that pretty obvious," she added.

"Maybe so. But you know why I don't like to assume," her mother noted. "Of course, we've been down that road more than a few times—"

"And?"

"And so I've learned not to rely on what I see," Andrea said, "although I still have my opinions." She smirked.

"Oh?" Taylor eyed her mother curiously. She took a bite of her salad, swallowed, then asked, "Care to share?—Actually, I'm not sure if I want to know."

Her mother chuckled. "Honey. I want you to spend a long time with Dorothea," she said, sipping her glass of Rosé. "A very long time."

"And that has nothing to do with your BFF Heather?" Taylor teased.

"Oh, Heather and I would still be friends, regardless of what happens with you two," Andrea assured, waving her hand arbitrarily.

Taylor's mouth dropped. "Wow." She laughed. "Good to know."

"Since we're being honest, part of the reason I asked about you two is because Heather and I are planning a trip to Europe next spring and, well, a lot can happen in six months..." Her mother trailed off.

"And now I'm making a mental note that three glasses of Rosè is your limit," Taylor muttered as her mom giggled to herself. She thanked the server after he came by and refilled her glass, then picked it up and examined the bubbles fizzing to the surface. She then sighed, "So, I guess this means you've changed your tune in the last two years?"

"My 'tune'?" Andrea gave her a funny look.

"If my memory serves me correctly, we were at the restaurant right next to this one when I came out to you and Dad," Taylor remembered. "It didn't exactly go well."

"I...Really?" Her mother frowned, tone suddenly full of concern. "Honestly, I can't remember."

"Seriously?" Taylor scoffed. Admittedly, she was puzzled by the woman's reaction. She then half-joked, "I think that was one of the worst days of my life."

Instead of laughing, though, Andrea's frown deepend. "Oh, Honey..." She shook her head to herself, visibly upset. "I didn't think we...You know my support is sincere. Don't you?"

"Yeah. Yes, sorry. Honestly, I think it was more so Dad who..." Taylor trailed off, suddenly filled with regret for bringing up the subject. Was she the one remembering that dinner incorrectly? She had felt so shitty at Bar None that night...Although, when you mix alcohol and an emotionally absent girlfriend then yeah, it's easy to feel pretty shitty.

"Your father's reaction probably wasn't the smoothest, knowing him," Andrea admitted. "Perhaps mine wasn't, either...But honestly we were just surprised. When you have kids, you can't help but picture what's to come, and you don't realize that it might end up being different. But my tune has never been tied to who you love, Taylor. My tune is your happiness."

"Is this the part where we both start crying?" Taylor joked.

"I mean it," her mother said sternly.

"Okay. Sorry." Taylor laughed behind her glass as she took another sip. A moment later she felt her phone buzz in her pocket, right as she had begun to ponder what her girlfriend was up to.

Dorothea Jane 💋

12:37pm

OMG WTF your cat just yeeted herself into the bathtub with me?!?!?!

I've never heard that sound come out of a cat????? Like the Wicked Witch of the West times twenty??

What do I do? HELP. 😩

Also Ivy decided to start doing her gymanstics routine like WTF I don't have time for this!

Is your cat gonna freak if I use the blow drier??

Also can you get me a bagel on your way home please 🥺 you know from the good place ty

"...Taylor..."

"Hm? Sorry," Taylor said, meeting the older woman's gaze and trying to get ahold of her laughter. "What did you say, Mom?"

"Are you truly prepared for this baby to arrive?" Andrea questioned. "You do realize it could be as soon as next week? Or even tomorrow?"

Taylor groaned, "Oh my god, Mom, please—"

"I'm being serious, Taylor. The days of it just being the two of you are numbered," her mother stated, "and quite honestly, I've hardly heard you discussing it. Not to mention the fact that you've yet to come to me, your mother for any baby advice!"

"Thea and I literally discuss it on a daily basis. It's fine, Mom, we've got it handled—"

"You know how to take care of a newborn?"

"Well, yeah...Sort of..." Taylor felt pressed beneath her mother's gaze. "Okay, fine, not exactly! But like, I do have an idea of how to do it—"

"Well, I've been through it twice," Andrea declared smugly, "What about you?"

Taylor gave a sharp, dry laugh. "Okay, I'm officially ending this conversation."

"So, while Dorothea's in the process of recovering from her labor and you're wrapping up your tour, whose going to keep an eye on my granddaughter?" Her mother inquired.

Taylor nearly choked on her drink. "Your granddaughter?"

"Yes. Don't give me that look," Andrea said. She then crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair. "For the record, Heather was the one who started referring to her as our grandbaby."

"Sounds like you'll have babysitting covered between the two of you, then." Taylor smirked.

Andrea arched an eyebrow at her. "Then I guess the ring's on you, huh?"

This time, Taylor actually choked on her drink. "Okay," she replied hoarsely, "now this conversation is officially over."

———

After rescuing Olivia from the bathtub fiasco, Dorothea put on a bathrobe and wandered downstairs to her laptop in the living room. With Taylor most likely gone for another hour or so, she figured she might as well get some work done (as though going through hundreds of HQ photos of her girlfriend and editing them was work).

Dorothea propped the computer on a pillow at her side and fished her air pods out of her backpack. As soon as she clicked on Spotify, a random Rep song blasted into her ears. As if she hadn't heard the record enough, she let it play.

Our secret moments...In a crowded room

A few songs in, she paused. Ironically, Dorothea was in the middle of a series of photos for Taylor's Dress performance when it came on.

They've got no idea

About me and you...

She'd heard the lyrics countless times before.

Only bought this dress so you could take it off...

Dorothea suddenly paused the song as her thoughts filled with the image from the 2015 VMAs. Of Karlie in that orange dress.

She never really considered the context of Taylor's songs, but now it felt as though it was smacking her in the face.

But it was in the past. The Before. So why did it bother her so much?

"Uber Eats delivery!"

Dorothea swung her head around the back of the couch as Taylor entered the apartment. The blonde was smiling and holding up a small brown paper bag as she approached her. Judging by the faint, rosy shade of her cheeks, she'd most likely consumed a mimosa or two.

"Hi." Dorothea giggled. "How was brunch with Andrea?"

"Wonderful. How's my cat?" Taylor asked, eyes suddenly circling the room, "Is she alive?"

"Alive and blow-dried," she answered, "but can't say she's thrilled about either."

The singer laughed loudly. "Let me guess, Olivia?"

"Pretty sure I wouldn't be alive if it was Meredith," Dorothea chuckled.

"And I'd like to say Meredith isn't capable of murder but..." Taylor lowered herself onto the couch at Dorothea's side, presenting the paper bag. "Your bagel from the good place. By the way, I accept all tips. Cash, credit...other methods of payment." She narrowed the gap between them.

"Cool, fetch my wallet?" Dorothea hummed, full-attention on the bagel as she licked a bit of cream cheese off her thumb. "Let me know if I should insert or swipe."

"Sorry, we no longer accept dirty jokes as a form of payment."

"Your mind is too pretty to be in the gutter, ma'am."

"It's keeping yours company, ma'am."

Dorothea smirked, lifting an eyebrow. She knew the older woman was waiting for her to look at her, so she continued pretending to be infatuated with the bagel.

All of a sudden, Taylor gasped airily, reaching across Dorothea's lap for her laptop. "God, Babe, I was only gone for three hours."

Dorothea rolled her eyes. "Maybe we should update my job description to include more than just staring at you all day."

"Oh?" The blonde said, "I didn't realize you were so unsatisfied with your position."

"Yeah. I prefer being on top."

"Fair enough. But sometimes it's nice to let others have a turn."

"I'm talking about photography," Dorothea chuckled, "I have no idea what the hell you're referring to."

Taylor rolled her eyes. "Do you ever get tired of laughing at your own jokes?"

"Never."

The singer rolled her eyes again as the younger woman laughed, but she wrapped one of her arms around her shoulders and pulled her close. For a few minutes, they were quiet as Taylor clicked through the photos and Dorothea was nibbling on her bagel.

About a dozen images later, Dorothea suddenly cleared her throat as they reached a new batch of Dress ones. "Can I ask you something?" When Taylor hummed in response, she said, "Are any of these songs about Karlie?"

She noticed the blonde freeze at the question. But it was only brief. "No." She shook her head, meeting Dorothea's gaze. "I have my unwritten rules about songwriting. Experiences? Yes. Feelings? Sure. People? Never. No exceptions."

"Oh." For some reason, Dorothea's chest sank. It was the last part that did it. She buried the sensation, then laughed lightly. "Okay. I was just wondering—"

"But then I had dinner one night at The Pearl."