• T W E N T Y • F I V E •

"I don't want your apology. I want the guilt to eat you alive. I want you to drown in your thoughts the way I drowned in mine."

• • •

Rage's POV

• • •

"So here's what's going to happen," I tell Seraphina sternly. "I will allow you to stay here under a few circumstances."

Seraphina has grown on me a tiny bit. Kinda like a fungus. Or an ingrown hair. But I understand her situation a bit. Her parents aren't abusive, but they certainly don't help the situation. According to Seraphina, her boyfriend is like a son to them. They didn't believe their own daughter when she came to them for help. And as bad as my situation was, I was never raped, thank goodness. It just goes to show that things can always get worse, right?

She is stuck in a hard situation. As much as I dislike her, I can't help but feel the need to look out for her the way I wish someone had looked out for me. So I'll teach her enough about fighting so she can defend herself. Give her a place to stay.

"First, I don't have money to burn," I tell her. "I know you come from a wealthy family or whatever but that isn't true for me. Second, just because you have questions, doesn't mean I have to answer them. Any of them. There will be a lot I can't and won't explain to you. Don't expect me to be here all the time for you. If you need me for an emergency, call me. Third, you're sleeping on the couch. I already have someone staying in the bedroom. Got it?"

Seraphina nods, a huge smile on her face. "Thank you so, so much, Rage."

Is this what having a little sister feels like? Because, if so, I'm so glad I only had brothers. I miss them so fucking much.

"Whatever," I force out, blanking my face so Seraphina doesn't see the emotions. "Give me your phone and I'll put in my number."

Quickly, she pulls it out and hands it to me. I've never used a smartphone, so it takes me a second to figure it but I quickly type in "Rage Falls" and my number before handing it back.

"Damn, your parents must've hated you to name you Rage Falls," Seraphina snorts.

"Yeah, they sure did hate me," I agree absently.

"I can't really talk now," I tell Asher mentally. "But I thought it best to warn you that someone else will be staying at my place tonight."

"Aww, the heartless Rage, picking up strays," Asher teases in a way that makes my heart skip a beat.

"Sure. See you later, then," I say before retreating away from his mind.

"So who is staying here?" Seraphina asks curiously.

I hesitate before realizing that she would find out sooner or later.

"Asher," I answer simply.

"Asher?" She echoes, wrinkling her nose in confusion.

"Asher Levine," I supply.

"You mean that silent weirdo who always hangs out around Kolton?!" Seraphina screeches.

With a growl, I lung at her and wrap my hands around her throat and apply pressure, just enough to get my anger and point across but not enough to crush her windpipe.

"Don't you ever talk about him like that again," I tell her with an eerie calmness that is so unlike me. "If I ever hear you saying something like that, I will kill you. Slowly. Is that clear?"

Seraphina goes limp in my arms. She fainted. She actually fainted.

I scoff, shaking my head, and let her collapse to the ground, not at all sorry.

A groan cuts through the room, letting me know she is waking up. Good. I don't have time for this.

"Get up," I order her harshly.

Seraphina climbs to her feet and clutches the counter to help keep her balance.

"Aren't you dating Kolton?" Seraphina demands, as if she didn't just faint. "And you're sleeping with Asher?"

"No, I'm not sleeping with Asher," I grit out.

"Wait. Are you dating both of them?" Seraphina asks, surprised.

"No!" I burst out. "I'm not dating either of them!"

"So Kolton is up for grabs still?!" Seraphina squeals.

"Fine! You caught me! I'm dating them!" I exclaim.

I'm not dating them, I know. But the thought of Seraphina with Kolton... It makes my blood boil and my reservations about killing dissolve. Besides, Kolton shouldn't mind too much since he's made it clear that he doesn't like Seraphina.

Seraphina's mouth is open and almost as wide as her icy eyes as she gawks at me.

"You're dating Kolton?!"

"Yes," I lie with a nod.

Seraphina sighs, "I guess that makes sense."

"You're not upset?" I ask with a raised eyebrow, surprised with how easily she let it go.

"Well, as soon as I can dump my boyfriend, I'll be single, but I think that's what I want," Seraphina says, sitting down on the couch.

I sit down on the other side and shrug.

"Lot's of people never get married or find their true love," I console her.

"Rage!" She exclaims. "You're making me feel worse! Way worse! I just meant I need some time to myself to get my shit together! I don't want to die alone as a cat lady!"

"My bad," I retort drily with a roll of my eyes. "I'm so sorry for trying to make you feel better. I'll never do it again."

"Good," Seraphina teases. "You suck at it anyway."

"True," I agree, letting out a short laugh.

"How come you almost never laugh?" Seraphina asks slowly after a short pause.

I look at her blankly.

"I'm going to go workout," I decide, ignoring her question.

Seraphina's face falls and I feel the tiniest twinge of guilt. I shake my head. Guilt has no place living in a murderer like me.

Lifting my chin, I march into the garage and wrap my hands before losing myself in the rhythm of working the speed bag.

• • •

He looks at me silently, his large brown eyes wide and pleading. His curly brown hair only emphasizes his shock.

'What the hell is she doing here?!' Asher demands through our mental connection.

'She who?' I reply sweetly, widening my own eyes at him as I bat my lashes innocently.

'Don't—Don't give me that look!' Asher exclaims making me grin impishly. 'You know exactly who I'm talking about! Why is Seraphina here?!'

'Oh, calm down drama queen,' I snort, rolling my eyes. 'I warned you earlier that someone else would be staying, remember?'

'This is different! Do you know what kind of person that bitch is?!' Argues Asher who has not calmed down at all, despite my advising.

I lean in close and level him with a hard gaze as I snap mentally, 'Yeah, I know what kind of person she is. Do you? Or do you just make assumptions?'

'A slut who verbally abuses me. That's who she is,' Asher seethes.

This is the most anger he's ever showed me. I'm kinda turned on right now. But winning this little argument is more important. Oh, and I'll have to confront Seraphina about this. If she is that mean to Asher for him to call it abuse... Well, let's just say she hasn't seen my bad side yet.

'Just give her a chance,' I reply, somewhat softer than before. 'I'll kick her out of she touches you or—'

"Why are you guys just standing there and staring at each other like freaks?" Seraphina interrupts in a slightly weirded out voice. "Is this some sort of freaky lover thing?"

'Lover?' Asher repeats mentally, bugging his eyes at me.

Scratching the back of my neck, I sheepishly reply, 'I didn't know how else to explain why you are staying here. Oh, and I'm also dating Kolton according to her. Just a head's up.'

'Anything else?' Asher says, but there is an odd tone to his mental voice and a gleam in his eyes that I don't understand.

I shrug before remembering about Seraphina again.

"No," I tell her shortly before plopping down on the couch and pulling out my phone to check the time.

Asher follows and sits next to me leaving Seraphina to stand there awkwardly. She looks at the open spot next to Asher before giving an almost imperceptible shake of her head. She walks over to the dining room and drags out one of the old, wooden chairs to sit on.

"So? Are we just gonna sit here and stare at each other or are we actually going to do something?" Seraphina asks finally.

In response, I keep a straight face as I silently sit there and stare at her.

"Rage," Seraphina whines, drawing out my name. "Come on. What do you do around this place other than work out and read."

"Uhhhh..." I say blankly as I realize just how boring of a person I am. "Sleep on occasion?"

Seraphina snorts and voices my thoughts remarking, "Shit, Rage, you sound like my grandma. Well, at least she leaves the house to play bingo."

Hmph. I leave the house to street fight. As bloody as bingo with the elderly can be, street fights are far less boring. I sigh, realizing that thinking about this is a pointless waste of time.

Holding back a sigh, I challenge, "Well, what do you suggest I do?"

Seraphina grins and squeals, "Makeov—"

"No. No fucking way," I say firmly, cutting her off mid-sentence.

Sticking her lip out as she pouts, Seraphina falls silent. A thoughtful look comes over her face and looks out of place on her.

"You're no fun," Seraphina mutters. "No wonder why you're so boring."

"I disagree," Asher mumbles, his eyes flashing with anger but downcast with nervousness.

"You can talk?!" Seraphina screeches, her eyes wide with shock. "I thought you were mute! We all did!"

Asher raises an unimpressed eyebrow and stays silent as Seraphina gawks at him.

"You two should really stop assuming things about each other," I snort. "Seraphina thinks you're just a mute freak. Asher thinks you're just a bitchy slut. Neither of you is correct, although Asher is half right."

Seraphina cracks a smile, even as she rolls her eyes at my insult.

A look of surprise glints in Asher's eyes as he realizes that Seraphina merely smiled at the insult. She must have been awful to him for him to expect such horrid behavior. My blood boils at the thought of Seraphina doing anything to him and it is all I can do to not lunge at her and choke her again. Clenching my fists, I do my best to control my anger.

My anger cannot control me. I must control it.

I don't want Asher to see me angry like that. He doesn't need to see my dark side. Even my light side is pretty dark and fucked up. I don't want him to see the worst in me. He deserves better than that. Asher doesn't need another dark abyss in his dark life; he needs a ray of light, a beam of hope. I can't be that for him.

But I can sure as hell not make things worse for him.

I leap up from where I am sitting on the couch and stride into the bedroom and pull a well-worn deck of cards from my collection of meager possessions. Hesitating slightly, I open the box and tip it so that the cards are halfway in the box and resting on my palm. Closing my eyes, I sniff and smell home. The farm. I stole the cards from Klause who never used them. He never even noticed their absence. They were my first real toy.

Inspecting the cards, I smile softly at each wrinkle, tear, and bend in the cards. I can't remember how they all got there, but I do know how the burn marks on the box got there. Why the cards still smell smokey. The cards nearly died with my family.

My smile falls into a hard line and I stand up straight and tip the cards back into the box.

"Hey, I have a deck of cards if you guys want to play a card game," I call, reentering the living room where Seraphina and Asher are awkwardly sitting in silence.

"Sure," Seraphina agrees, relaxing her bony shoulders slightly. "What game do you want to play?"

"Texas Hold'em," I answer, dropping down onto the floor and pulling the cards out of their box.

I quickly shuffle the deck, loving the familiar feel of the cards.

"Texas Hold'em?" Seraphina repeats. "What's that?"

"A version of poker," I reply. "Have you played, Asher?"

Asher shakes his head and gives me an apologetic look.

"Well, let's play something else then," I decide. "Something that we've all played. What about Bull Shit?"

Seraphina gives me a squinty eyes look of confusion at the same time Asher nods.

"What about Go Fish?" Seraphina suggests.

Asher nods again and I grin, remembering the last time I played Go Fish with Kolton and Nekoda.

"Good idea," I agree and begin dealing out the cards.

After almost an hour of card games, the atmosphere is a lot less awkward and stiff. Seraphina is now getting ready for bed and completely hogging the bathroom. I am in my bedroom with Asher.

"Look, I don't mean to ask this of you, but would you mind if I just stayed in here until Seraphina fell asleep? Then I could slip out. I have stuff I need to do tonight," I tell Asher.

"Of course," He murmurs. "After all, she does think we're lovers. It would seem strange if you slept anywhere else."

I wince inwardly at the reminder of my painful lie and agree, "Exactly. Thank you for understanding."

Before he can say anything else, I walk out and bang on the bathroom door.

"Seraphina! You'll be sleeping on the couch! I'll leave a blanket for you!" I tell through the door.

I grab the only spare blanket that I have and toss it on the couch. Noticing how ratty it is, I make a mental note to buy a new blanket or two.

When I first came here, I was much more careful with my money, especially since I had so little. Now, I can afford to buy more things. Between my shifts at the diner and the fights, I am making enough money to support myself. It's a new concept, really.

After my family died, I was homeless, sleeping in vacant homes and wherever I could find a safe shelter. I had no money except what I found on the ground.

• • •

I crammed the stale bread in my mouth, not paying any attention to the spots of mold. It hurt my empty stomach, but I couldn't stop eating it. A kind woman threw it to me that morning when I was searching through her trash cans.

I sighed to myself. Who the hell am I kidding?

She wasn't kind and she didn't give it to me. The woman shrieked and threw it at me before racing back into her house. Her face contorted with fear and she ran from me.

And I loved it.

I loved that she was terrified of me.

And that terrified me.

Her fear... It was intoxicating, almost. It made me thirsty for more.

I looked in the window, but all I saw was my reflection. A dirty girl with angry, yellow eyes glared back at me. Her black hair was oily and matted in some places and her white skin splattered with blood and dusted in dirt. Grime and determination dripped from her. There was a desperate edge in her eyes, a look that told you she was a survivor. She would do whatever it took to survive. This was the kind of girl that would kill without hesitation.

This was the kind of girl that could take care of herself. Who could steal food and get away with it.

My stomach clenched with pain and, despite the bread I just ate, all I could think about was how hungry I am. I needed more food.

Before this, I had been scared, too scared to demand, too scared to take, too scared to hurt someone for my own survival.

No longer.

I hurried through the alley's until I found the familiar spot.

The small town didn't have many homeless people, but all the homeless people and partying teenagers came to this rundown spot in town. For the most part, I had steered clear of this place; however, I knew that what I wanted was right here.

Prey.

It would be easy pickings here.

It took me less than an hour of waiting and watching silently before I found my mark. My mark was a girl who looked to be a couple years older than me.

I slipped up behind her and hooked an arm around her throat and was easily able to put her in a chokehold.

"Give me your money. Now," I hiss in her ear venomously.

She tried to breath but couldn't. Her hands scrabbled at my arm before she realized, finally, that she wouldn't get out that way. She shoved her hands into her pockets and pulled out fistfulls of cash.

Quickly, I released her and shoved her away from me sending her sprawling. I drop to my knees and hastily snatch up the fallen, crumpled bills.

I shoved the bills into my pocket and scurried away from her without so much as a glance behind me.

"Was that really the best you could do?" A voice challenged from the shadows.

Using my shadow element, I pull the shadows away to reveal a tall, wiry man with light brown hair and a reddish beard. His brown eyes were sharp and cunning. He was thin, but he stood in a way that projected confidence and strength.

"It was the best the situation required," I snapped, my fear coming out as annoyance.

"So you think you could win in a fight?"

A smirk played on my lips. This man didn't know who he was messing with.

"Are you asking me to fight?" I ask, amused.

"Yes," He answered, causing my eyebrows to rise in surprise. "I want you to fight for me."

"For you?" I echo, clearly confused.

His head bobbed and he continued, "First fight you win fifty dollars. With each fight you win, your payment grows. Come to this address if you're interested in fighting to make more money than you could imagine, girl."

He lifted his hand to reveal a folded slip of paper.

"The address," He declared before tossing it to me.

I caught it—just barely. By the time I was done fumbling with the paper, the man was gone.

And I've been fighting ever since.

• • •

I don't want to think about that. I don't want to think about that. I don't want to think about that. I don't want to think about that. No. We don't live there anymore. We don't live like that anymore. Stop. No. Don't think about life. Don't think about the way they died. Rage, this is going to make everything worse. Much, much worse.

I walk stiffly out of the living room and into the garage so that I can give myself a second to compose myself. Inhaling deeply, I close my eyes and hold my breath until I can't anymore and let the air burst out. I can't remember the last time I had to do that to calm down.

Am I getting better? I thought I was.

Am I getting worse? Yeah. A few fucking notes and I start spiraling downward. One person got inside my head and now I'm a mess.

Breathing like that may seem strange, sure, but it works surprisingly well. Kinda like counting to ten, I suppose.

A chilly cold spreads over me and causes goosebumps to rise on my arms as I force out my emotions and pull on a blank mask. I square my shoulders, lift my chin, and shuffle out of the garage.

One foot, then the other. I walk blankly into the living room and head to the bathroom right as Seraphina finally emerges, one of the only two towels wrapped around her hair.

"Rage, I j—" Seraphina says in whiny voice before cutting herself off and asking with clear concern, "Rage? Are you alright?"

"Fine," I reply monotonously. "How are you, Seraphina? Why the sudden concern about my well-being?"

"Asher!" Seraphina calls nervously, her worry evident.

Asher flings the door open and hurries out.

"Is Rage o—Rage? Rage, what's wrong?" Asher asks me, his eyes wide.

"Nothing," I answer emotionlessly. "What's wrong with you two? I'm just going to get ready for bed. I shall see you two in a few minutes."

One foot in front of the other, I walk into the bathroom, keeping my mind as blank as possible to avoid unwanted memories. Closing and locking the door behind me, I see my reflection in the mirror and begin to understand why they were so concerned.

My normally glittering lemon eyes are a dusty and dull yellow. My skin is even paler than usual and my blank expression is chilling, even to myself. I look like a hollow shell of myself.

Shit, I'm so damn weak. One simple thought lead to one simple memory. And now I'm beginning to crumble.

I can't let this happen.

I need to be strong.

I need the boy who can make things grow. The one who hates conflict, but battles to fix everything.

William Oakes.

Closing my eyes, I focus and channel the shadows until I am nothing but shadows myself. Quickly, I travel from shadow to shadow until I am at William's door.

I knock on the door, rapping on it randomly until the door finally opens to reveal a slightly harried Judy, her bright blue eyes flashing with irritation, probably because I'm banging on her door kinda late at night. Her annoyance dissipates, however, when she sees me.

"Rage? What are you doing here?" She asks in surprise.

"Please, can I just see William?" I plead, desperation dripping from my voice.

I can only imagine what she's thinking of me, but to my surprise, she merely opens the door all the way and nods.

"Go on ahead, darling. You remember where his room is, right?" She confirms.

I nod mutely and hurry up to his room, just barely remembering to knock instead of bursting in.

"Come in," He calls after a moment.

I open the door and smile slightly at William who is in sweats with his hair adorably messy as he sits on the floor pretending to read. The book is upside down. He doesn't look up at first, giving me a second to appreciate his shirtlessness before his eyes dart up and William sees me.

"Oh!" He exclaims, his green eyes flashing with shock. "What are you doing here, Rage?"

"I came to see you," I answer honestly before firing his own question back at him.

"Practicing my powers," He answers sheepishly, his eyes darting to the plants that fill his room.

My eyebrows rise in genuine surprise.

"You mean your grandparents don't know about them?"

William shrugs and responds, "They see what they want to see. So what did you need?"

My emotionless mask falls back into place with a thud. I plop down on the floor next to him.

"I need your help," I force out, scrunching my eyes shut.

I draw my knees in and tuck them under my chin. I start to rock slightly before realizing I probably look like a nut and force myself to stop.

"What happened?" William asked softly.

I sigh and force myself to tell him the truth, "I had... I had a memory of something that happened a while ago. It's just bringing up a lot of stuff I need to forget. I don't want to remember. I started to crumble and thought that you could help, for whatever reason. I probably shouldn't have bugged you, but I'm selfish like that. So sorry."

William laughs, "Yeah, you sound real sorry."

My lips twitch upward and he continues, "But don't worry about it, Rage. No matter what, if you ever need help, I'm here. All of us are."

He doesn't specify who "us" is, but I know who he is talking about. The boys. Gage, Darkon, Asher, Kolton, Boaz, Nekoda, and himself. All of them so perfect, so fucked up in their own way.

"Here," William decides slowly. "I'll tell you what I want to forget, and you can decide what you want to tell me, if anything. Maybe you just need to get off your chest."

Swallowing thickly, I nod. I don't think I could ever face it and tell him, but I can try. I can follow him and see where he is going with this.

William scoots closer to me and begins to speak, his voice hushed as he begins to spill his secrets.

• • •

The sequel, Conspire, will star a new character named Bryn Hunt. But I'm having a bit of trouble coming up with a look for her that isn't just... "Meh." So comment your thoughts and ideas!

Above is how I picture Rage when she is fighting under the disguise of Raven.

• • •

Thank you to user33174338 and susaninthesky for these amazing covers!