I Found

RONNIE

~“I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be,”~

~Right in front of me,”~

~Talk some sense to me…”~

~– Amber Run~

***

Suddenly, the air felt heavy, like I was trying to breathe underwater.

My gaze was locked onto Frey’s, my short dark curls framing my face, and my body was draped over his.

A jolt of electricity shot through me, and I had a revelation.

I was drawn to Frey. Maybe, just maybe, even more than I’d ever been drawn to Jax.

For a few heartbeats, we just stared at each other, our eyes wide and mouths slightly open.

Frey seemed to be lost in thought, but I couldn’t guess what he was thinking. I wondered if my thoughts were written all over my face. I sure hoped not.

Suddenly, Frey’s hands found my waist, and he let out a laugh, though it sounded a bit forced.

“Nice work, Rons,” he said, his voice light. “Now get off me so we can chat.”

His words snapped me back to reality.

“But we didn’t finish the lesson,” I protested, a small pout forming on my lips. The air was back to normal now, and the strange, magical atmosphere was replaced with the familiar, laid-back vibe I associated with Frey.

“I think we did,” he replied, and then, as if I weighed nothing, he lifted me off him and sat down. I had to quickly regain my composure and sit next to him.

He reached for the backpack he’d brought with us and pulled out two water bottles. He tossed one to me, which I caught.

“Drink,” he commanded, taking a sip from his own bottle.

But I wasn’t thirsty. I was captivated by him–again–and by the way his throat moved as he swallowed the water.

How his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down, and how strong and powerful and amazing he looked–

~Snap out of it~! I told myself, opening the water bottle.

I forced myself to drink, and after a few moments, I could feel Frey’s gaze on me. I tensed up, lowered the bottle, and looked at him.

“Talk,” he said, folding his arms and giving me an expectant look. His biceps bulged even more than before.

But my mind wasn’t on what had happened earlier that day. My eyes were drawn to the tattoos on his arms.

“What do they mean?” I asked, gesturing at the inked designs.

He sighed. “Will it get you to talk?”

When I nodded, he sighed again. “Do you know what the Tree of Life is?”

“I know it’s in some mythologies and philosophies,” I replied, picturing an image of the tree of life, a tree with many vines and roots.

“You’re right,” he said, pointing at the swirling lines on his left upper arm. “These are the roots of the Tree of Life, which connect all forms of creation.”

He then pointed at his other upper arm. “And these are the roots of the Tree of Knowledge, which connect to heaven and hell. They’re both part of the World Tree, also known as the Cosmic Tree.”

“Why only the roots?” I asked, frowning.

“Because they’re the foundation of these trees,” he explained. “The leaves and branches are just for show. The roots are what matter, what connect the beauty to the world. That’s why I chose to tattoo only the roots.”

“Wow, that’s deep,” I said, a small smile playing on my lips. “So deep, I can see Adele rolling in it.”

Frey rolled his eyes and laughed. “You just don’t get it, do you?”

“No, I do, actually,” I said, smiling genuinely. “My dad...he had a picture of the Norse Tree of Life hanging in his office. He was really into spiritual stuff like that.”

Frey gave me a soft smile.

“I get it,” he said, his expression turning serious. “Now tell me how it went.”

I knew what he was asking and sighed.

“Like sandpaper,” I admitted, “Jax wasn’t ready to accept that I wasn’t going to work there anymore, even after I explained that my being there was driving him crazy.”

“He didn’t seem to care. But whatever,” I shrugged. “It’s over. I’m not working there anymore.”

“Good,” Frey said, nodding. “I’m glad you did that. Did you really bring a friend like I asked you to?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I brought Lucy, one of my coworkers.”

He nodded, and when I looked into his eyes, I couldn’t read them. They were suddenly unreadable, and it made me pause.

Frey had never been one to hide his feelings from me like that. It made me feel uneasy. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he said, and for a moment, I thought I saw a flicker of pain in his eyes before his expression became unreadable again. “I just...feel for Jax, I guess.”

That caught me off guard.

“Why would you–” I began, but then I remembered our conversation from a few weeks ago. “You know how he feels, wanting someone you can’t have.”

Frey gave me a crooked smile. “You understand me better than most, Ronnie.”

I chuckled. “If you say so.”

Suddenly, he put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer.

“I do,” he said, kissing my temple. His lips were soft and warm against my skin. My heart fluttered, my stomach tightened, and my cheeks flushed.

I was in deep, deep trouble.

He let me go.

“Where are you going to work now?” he asked, changing the subject.

“I don’t know yet,” I said, looking down at the grass so he wouldn’t see the emotions in my eyes.

Frey was one of those people who could look into your eyes and know exactly what you were thinking.

“I’m thinking about applying to some high-end restaurants. Maybe wait tables for a bit until I figure things out.”

Frey, my mentor, looked at me thoughtfully. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“Yes,” I confirmed.

“You know,” Frey began, “I’ve been mulling it over, and I think there’s something you haven’t shared with me.”

I stiffened, trying to keep my voice steady. “What’s that?”

“Your dad, Dimitri Tanner, was a writer,” he said slowly. “You’ve told me how much you love books. You worked in a bookstore, attended book club meetings.”

I was surprised he remembered all that. I’d forgotten I’d even told him. “And you have an English degree. It seems to me that you must enjoy writing.”

My heart pounded as I met Frey’s intense gaze.

“No one’s ever figured that out about me,” I admitted, feeling a strange mix of emotions.

“Do you write?” he asked, his expression serious.

I looked down.

“It’s been a while since I last wrote,” I confessed quietly. “It used to be my escape. Now…I’m not so sure.”

“I think you should try writing again,” he suggested, taking my hand and causing me to look up. He was smiling gently.

“Writing can be healing. Give it a shot. Write a poem, a short story, or even a whole book. Just write.”

Write again?

I hadn’t considered that, but Frey had a knack for being right. I decided to take his advice.

“Okay, I will,” I agreed, managing a small smile. “But I still need to make money, so I’ll have to wait tables.”

“As long as you’re writing, I’m behind you,” he assured me, smiling back. Then his expression changed.

I raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“I just thought of something that might help you heal,” he said, his smile broadening with excitement.

“Okay, I’m all ears,” I replied, amused by his enthusiasm.

“I’m planning a trip in a few weeks,” he explained, his eyes softening. “All my young students will be there, along with a few teachers I’ve hired.”

“The students are all between nine and twelve, but I think you’ll enjoy it. We’re going to camp overnight in the mountains.”

The mountains. It had been ages since I’d been there.

“I’d love to go,” I said, smiling back. “How much does it cost?”

He looked at me strangely. “You’re not paying for this trip, Rons.”

“Don’t be silly,” I protested, “I’m not going to let you cover everything. If I’m going on this trip, I’m paying my way.”

“No, you’re not,” he insisted, raising an eyebrow. “You’re my personal student. I’m not letting you pay.”

“I’m paying,” I said, crossing my arms stubbornly. “Deal with it.”

“Ronnie, you need every penny you have,” he argued, not backing down. “You’re not paying.”

“I’ll shove the money in your hands if I have to,” I warned him. “I’m not going unless I pay my share.”

“Ronnie–”

“I mean it, Frey, I’m paying. End of discussion.” I stood up and smiled at him. “Just let me know how much when the time comes.”

He scowled at me, a rare expression for him. I’d only seen him scowl a few times before, but this was a stubborn scowl. It made him look both childish and attractive.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” he said casually as he stood up too.

I laughed. “Well, sorry for wanting to pay for something I should pay for.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen this stubborn side of you before,” he said, still scowling. “I’ve seen you stubbornly push through and keep going. But being stubborn about something like this? That’s new.”

I grinned at him. “I’m Ronnie now, remember? I’m not going to back down on things I believe in, and I believe in paying my own way.”

“And I believe you’re a real pain in the ass,” he muttered, and without warning, he hoisted me over his shoulder, fireman-style.

I let out a surprised shriek.

“What are you doing?!” I exclaimed, laughing and gasping as his shoulder dug into my stomach.

“Teaching you another lesson,” he said calmly. When he started walking, I jerked in surprise.

“Put me down!” I demanded, laughing at this unexpected side of Frey.

“Not until you say ~I’m sorry, dear, sexy Frey, for bruising your ego by insisting on paying for something so trivial~,” he said, still calm.

“Never!” I retorted, laughing again. “And who said you were sexy? You’re anything but.”

I was lying, of course, but I wasn’t about to give in.

“Liar liar, pants on fire,” he sang, and I was taken aback by his silliness. “Now say it, or we’ll be here all day.”

“Who are you, and what happened to my sweet, gentle Frey?” I asked, ignoring his command.

“~Sweet, gentle Frey~?” He echoed, feigning shock. “Is that how I come across to women?”

“Quit pretending like I hurt your feelings,” I said, rolling my eyes even though he couldn’t see me with my butt in the air.

“I’m not pretending,” he retorted, slapping my ass and causing me to freeze. He chuckled darkly. “Now say what I want to hear.”

“Even if I do say it,” I replied, still reeling from his unexpected move, “I’m still paying.”

He sighed. “Can’t I get through to you, lass?”

I giggled, then quickly covered my mouth. I never giggled. What was happening to me?

“Lass?” I asked, my voice suddenly tight.

“My dad was Scottish,” he explained, “so you’re a lass, lass.”

I giggled again. “I’m picturing your dad as Benedict Cumberbatch for some reason.”

“The guy who plays Sherlock?” Frey asked, snorting. “No way. My dad was way better looking.”

“Wait, it makes sense,” I said, laughing uncontrollably again. “Cumberbatch plays Sherlock Holmes. Your last name is Holmes. Don’t you see the connection?”

To my surprise, he slapped my butt again.

“I’m losing my patience,” he warned, his voice gruff. “Tell me I’m the sexiest, roughest, most mysterious and enigmatic man you’ve ever met, and I might forgive you.”

“Might?” I asked, incredulous. “And why would I lie just to make you happy?”

“Then I won’t let you down,” he said, sounding serious. “I can stand here all day, and it looks like it’s about to rain, so you better hurry.”

I sighed.

“Fine,” I conceded, rolling my eyes to make myself feel better about giving in. “You’re the sexiest, roughest, most mysterious and enigmatic man I’ve ever met. Happy now?”

“What about the ~I’m sorry, dear, sexy Frey, for bruising your ego by insisting on paying for such a ridiculous cause~ part?” he demanded.

“I’m still paying,” I stood my ground, “so you’ll have to settle for me calling you enigmatic and stuff.”

He sighed. “You’re taking all the fun out of this.”

“Just let me down already,” I laughed, and then he did, sliding me down so that when my feet hit the ground, I was acutely aware of how close he was.

I looked up at him and saw a devilish grin on his face, making him look incredibly sexy.

~Pull yourself together~! I scolded myself, shaking my head internally. I glared at him and said, “Can we go back now?”

“Sure thing, grumpy,” he teased, winking at me.

I had to have the last word, so I glared at him and said, “Next time you even think about slapping my ass, I’m going to kick you in the balls.”

He smirked. “You can try, but I can’t promise I’ll stand still for you to kick.”

“You should be scared,” I said, frowning.

Suddenly, he leaned in so his lips were next to my ear.

“You’re a formidable woman, I’ll give you that,” he whispered, his warm breath sending shivers down my spine. “But I’m a tough guy. You don’t scare me.”

My hands clenched into fists. “Challenge accepted.”

He chuckled softly and then leaned back, giving me another devilish smirk that made me want to slap him and then pull him in for a kiss.

That was a dangerous thought, so I quickly pushed it out of my mind. “I’m looking forward to your failed attempts.”

Then he turned around and started back toward the dojo.

It was a good thing his back was to me because he couldn’t see the blush on my face or the way my heart was in my eyes as I watched him walk away.