Breathe Me

VERONICA

~“Ouch, I have lost myself again,”~

~Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,~

~Yeah, I think that I might break,~

~I’ve lost myself again and I feel unsafe…”~

~– Sia~

***

Jax was out of patience.

He practically ripped my bra from my body, and I was certain my fishnet stockings and thong were destroyed by the time he had them off me.

Once I was completely bare, he towered over me, trapping me between his body and the bed.

“I’m going to make love to you now,” he murmured, his midnight-blue eyes glowing in the darkness. “I’m going to fuck you so hard, you won’t be able to walk in the morning.”

My breath hitched, but he didn’t pause.

He kissed me, consuming my mouth, while one hand cupped my breast and the other explored my body, finding my wet entrance.

I moaned into his mouth when he touched my clit. It’d been a while since I’d been touched like this, and my back arched as tension began to build inside me.

“So responsive,” Jax murmured, his lips trailing down to my neck. “So sweetly responsive, and all mine…”

“Jax…” I gasped as he slid a finger inside me, while his thumb rubbed my clit. “Jax, please…”

“So beautiful…” he continued to murmur, pressing a kiss to the side of my neck, sucking deeply. “So delectable and mine…”

My thoughts were foggy, and all I was, was pure desire, a woman in need.

My hands tangled in his dark, messy hair as his lips moved down my neck to the valley between my breasts.

He murmured unintelligible things as he buried his face between my breasts and inhaled deeply. My back arched again, and his fingers continued to tease me mercilessly.

His mouth was on my entrance seconds later, and then he was devouring me like a starved man. He sucked and nipped and licked and ravished me so thoroughly, my mind was consumed with desire.

I couldn’t think about anything but Jax’s skilled mouth doing wicked, wicked things to me. My abdomen tightened with a familiar sensation, and I knew I was close.

But when I said, “Oh God, I’m coming…” Jax pulled away, and he rose.

“No,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “You’re going to come with my cock inside.”

With that, one of his hands cupped my face roughly and he kissed me deeply, so much so that I could taste myself.

His other hand gripped my thigh tightly and then, without any further preparation, he entered me with one hard thrust that made my eyes roll back.

The knots in my abdomen tightened unbearably.

Jax’s voice was primal when he growled, “You’re mine now.”

He started moving in and out so fast, it was a wonder I didn’t simply melt—it was that intense.

“Jax!” I moaned, but he was relentless.

His hands were now gripping my breasts roughly, and he was moving faster and faster, bringing me closer and closer to the edge.

Then he shifted our position slightly, so one hand held both my wrists above my head while the other started rubbing my clit as he thrust and pumped and penetrated me so deeply, it was hard to breathe.

“You’re not leaving me again,” he growled, “you’re mine and I’m not letting you fucking turn away from us again. Do you hear me?”

Suddenly, beyond the haze of lust that clouded my mind, I saw a face and heard a familiar kind voice.

A pair of purplish-gray eyes appeared in my mind, and suddenly my body turned cold, and sadness washed away all traces of passion.

“Frey,” I whispered.

Jax paused mid-thrust.

“What did you say?” he asked, his voice filled with disbelief.

Tears filled my eyes.

“Frey…” my voice was barely audible. “I need Frey…”

Jax was off me the next second.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” he screamed at me, and when I looked at him, I saw his eyes were wild, filled with pain and longing.

“I can’t…” I whispered. “I need Frey…”

Suddenly my belly cramped again, and I winced.

Jax didn’t notice, though. He looked like he was beyond listening, beyond understanding anything. He looked like he was losing his mind.

I faintly saw him rummaging in a drawer in his closet, and then he was back on me.

For a moment I was terrified he would force himself on me again, and I didn’t know if he saw it or not, but it didn’t matter.

He grabbed my hands and with a bruising grip, pinned them above my head again.

“Stop,” I gasped, true fear filling me now while my drunkenness seemed to dissipate slowly.

“No,” he gritted out and then something cold and metallic clamped around my wrists. His hands were off me and a grin that was more than mad settled on his face. “Now you’ll finally understand you’re mine.”

I tensed, and when I tried to pull my hand from above my head, I found that I couldn’t. Realizing what he’d done, I was filled with cold fear.

“You… you shackled me to the bed,” I whispered, horror in every syllable.

His grin widened and then he was off me.

“You’re going to stay here,” he said as he started to dress in the clothes he’d discarded earlier, “while I’m going to buy some lube.”

My heart stopped. “Lube?”

Once he finished dressing, he looked at me and his eyes were almost predatory as he regarded my naked body shackled to his bed.

“I’m going to take you in every way possible,” he said, his voice so calm it took me a moment to process his words.

“No,” I protested, my voice trembling with fear. “Jax, no. I can’t…no…”

“Relax,” he said, a twisted smile playing on his lips. “We have chemistry. You’ll be okay. It won’t hurt.”

“No!” I screamed, struggling against the handcuffs, fighting the sheets. “It’s rape, Jax! I would never–please–”

He silenced me with a kiss. For the first time, there was no spark, no heat. I felt cold, so cold.

“I’ll be right back,” he said, and then he was gone.

The thought of him taking me without my consent…

He’d lost his mind.

He’d completely, utterly lost his mind.

I had to escape.

I scanned the room, searching for a phone. There had to be a phone. Spotting one on the nightstand, hope surged within me.

Using my flexibility, I managed to snag it with my long legs. I pulled my leg up, bringing the phone to my hands.

I turned on the phone, and dialed a number etched into my memory.

After a few rings, he answered. “Hello?”

“Frey,” I whispered, but he didn’t hear.

“Who’s this?” he asked, his voice tinged with impatience.

I cleared my throat and said louder, “Frey, it’s Veronica. You have to help me.”

“Veronica?” he asked, confusion in his voice. “But it’s a home number… Oh no.”

As always, he understood. “Where are you?”

“At Jax’s house,” I said, my voice breaking. “He’s gone mad, Frey! I can’t stay here! He shackled me to the bed, and I can’t move!”

“Where is his house?” he asked, anger seeping into his voice.

“I have no idea,” I said, panic setting in. “I… I think it’s a couple of streets from the pub…”

“I’m coming,” he said, his voice dropping to a whisper, “I have an app that can locate phones. Wait for me.”

“Hurry,” I pleaded, “because he’s not going to be long.”

“No problem,” he said, and the line went dead.

As I lay on the bed in Jax’s apartment, terrified to my core that Jax had truly lost his sanity, I couldn’t help but think this night had been the most bizarre night of my life.

I talked to Hailey without breaking down. I danced with Hailey and Lucy and kissed Hailey. I slept with Jax, and then Jax turned into a madman and decided to…to…

I choked back a sob. He wanted to…rape me.

Oh my God, he’d lost control. How did it happen? Why?

What had I done to make him so obsessed with me–in the worst possible way?

I was just an ordinary woman, no more beautiful than others, with a multitude of emotional scars. What about me made him lose his mind?

It couldn’t be the chase anymore. Sure, there were men who couldn’t take “no” for an answer, but Jax wasn’t one of them…or was he?

He had trouble respecting my boundaries.

He saw me as a challenge, wanted to force me to open up to him, but I rejected all his attempts. He should’ve gotten the hint, but no, he kept pursuing me.

But why? There were plenty of other women who would’ve loved his attention. He could’ve had anyone. Why me?

I don’t know how long I lay there, lost in thought, when I heard the door open and footsteps approaching.

I froze, fearing it was Jax, but when I saw the shadow in the doorway was taller, tears of relief spilled from my eyes.

“Frey,” I whispered as Frey walked in, looking furious and sweaty. Seeing me sprawled on the bed, naked and shackled, his face hardened, and he looked ready to kill.

“Let’s get you out of here,” he said, his voice dark. With his strength, he managed to rip the handcuffs from the bed.

I was free.

He picked the lock of the handcuffs with a safety pin, and my hands were completely free.

Suddenly, I was aware of the cold air, and a shiver ran through me. Frey cursed, took off his coat and draped it over me. I snuggled into it, and then he helped me to my feet.

But I couldn’t stand. Fear gripped me, along with the aftermath of my drinking, and my knees buckled.

Frey caught me, cursing again. He scooped me up, and once I was in his arms, I burst into tears.

“Ssh,” he whispered, holding me close. “You’re safe now.”

I sniffed. “I… I’m so scared…”

“It’s okay now,” he promised and then walked out of the horrid bedroom.

But before we reached the front door, it swung open and Jax stood there with a grocery bag in his hand, which I knew contained the lube he’d mentioned.

Just as he walked in, a pain worse than anything I’d ever felt ripped through my stomach, and I screamed.

Everything blurred, only the pain remained. I was vaguely aware of a wetness soaking my coat.

Someone said, “She’s bleeding,” and then darkness swallowed me, and I heard, saw, and felt nothing.