To Build a Home

~“By the crack of the skin I climbed to the top,”~

~I climbed the tree to see the world,”~

~When the gusts came around to blow me down,”~

~I held on as tightly as you held onto me…”~

~– The Cinematic Orchestra~

***

Waking up the day after getting out of the hospital felt like a dream.

I’d never really noticed my bed before, but now it was like seeing it for the first time. The softness of the mattress, the feel of the sheets, the warmth of the expensive duvet I’d splurged on…

This was the life.

I was so caught up in the joy of being back in my own bed that I didn’t even notice someone was watching me until she said, “You look pretty happy.”

I was so shocked, I jumped out of bed, ready to defend myself. But then I saw it was just Amy and flopped back onto the bed.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that. It’s weird.”

“Whatever,” my friend and roommate said, grinning as she lounged next to me. “You were way cuter when you were asleep.”

“You’re acting like a creep,” I told her, stretching out my stiff muscles.

“And you’re acting grumpy for someone who just woke up looking like a kid on Christmas morning.”

I frowned. “Why were you standing in the doorway watching me?”

“No reason,” she said, shrugging. “I was just worried because you got home really late last night.”

“I wasn’t out partying, if that’s what you’re thinking,” I said. “Actually, I was at a bar and had a nice chat with the bartender.”

“Are you sure that’s all you did?” she asked, clearly suspicious.

I sighed. “What’s with the third degree?”

“We’re all worried about you,” she said, her tone suddenly serious. “You keep saying you’re okay after what happened, but we don’t believe you. We want the truth.”

“Why would I lie to you?” I asked, more curious than defensive.

“Why would you try to kill yourself?” she shot back.

Good point.

But the truth was, I wasn’t lying. I felt okay, mostly thanks to my talk with Dr. Miller. I wasn’t upset. I really was okay.

But looking at Amy’s worried face, I knew she wouldn’t believe me.

So, I took her hands in mine, closed my eyes, and said, “If I ever feel like I’m going to break again, I promise you guys will be the first to know.”

“That’s not very comforting,” she said.

“It’s the best I can do right now,” I told her.

We had a brief staring contest, which I won, and then she hopped off the bed.

“I’ll let it go this time,” she said, her tone warning, “but just so you know, if you ever do anything to hurt yourself again—whether it’s on purpose or not—we won’t be so understanding.”

I didn’t think they were being understanding now, but I took her words to heart. “Okay.”

Before she left the room, she turned back to me. “Laura was really scared when you were in the hospital. You should talk to her, try to reassure her or something.”

“I’ll set up a time to meet with her today,” I said, sighing. With Laura’s pregnancy hormones, Amy was probably right.

As soon as Amy left my room, I called Laura and asked her to meet me at Fiddle in a couple of hours.

She agreed, and now that I was awake, I went through my morning routine, made breakfast, and ate it on the balcony, enjoying the winter sun.

As I sipped the hot cocoa I’d made, I thought about Frey and our conversation the day before.

I was surprised at how easily I’d talked to him about Hailey and Parker. I had a feeling Dr. Miller had something to do with it.

After our session, it was like a wall inside my mind had come down, and I felt peaceful, even if it was just for a little while.

Thinking about Frey reminded me that he’d told me to call him to set up a meeting if I wanted him to mentor me.

And I knew I wanted his help. I needed someone to guide me, to help me get my life back on track. And why not Frey? He seemed kind and understanding, which was exactly what I needed right now.

So, I took out my phone and dialed the number he’d written on a napkin at the bar.

After a few rings, he picked up. “I’m glad you called, Veronica.”

I was taken aback. “How did you know it was me?”

“Sixth sense,” he said lightly. “The same one that lets me know people’s names.”

“That’s kind of creepy,” I said, smiling a little.

He laughed.

“It is,” he agreed. “But I’m guessing you didn’t call just to chat, although I wouldn’t mind if you did.”

“While that would be nice, you’re right,” I said. “I’ve made a decision.”

“And what’s that?”

“I want you to mentor me,” I said, smiling.

“You proved yourself, and you said you’re good at a lot of martial arts and mind-conditioning techniques. That’s what I need right now.”

“And that’s what you’ll get,” he promised. “Meet me today at four at my dojo on Fifth—”

“Wait a minute,” I interrupted, surprised. “You own a dojo?”

He laughed. “Why are you so surprised?”

“Because bartenders aren’t usually rich enough to own a dojo,” I pointed out.

“Who said I’m poor?” He asked, sounding amused.

“True,” I agreed. “So, you own a dojo. I can handle that.”

After he shared the address, we said our goodbyes. I pushed myself up from the chair, cleaned up the dishes, and started getting ready for my meeting with Laura.

Since I was meeting Frey later, I opted for comfortable jeans and a cozy hoodie. I wrapped a soft fleece scarf around my neck, slipped on some gloves, and laced up my boots. I was ready to face the day.

Laura was positively ~radiant~ when I met her at Fiddle. Her cheeks were rosy, her smile was bright, and she waved me over with an enthusiasm that was infectious.

“Hey!” she greeted, pulling me into a tight hug as soon as I was within reach. “You look great!”

I felt like I looked the same as always. “You too,” I replied, taking a seat once she let me go.

“You seem happier than I’ve seen you since you found out about the pregnancy.”

“That’s because I’ve made a decision about it,” she said, her voice filled with excitement.

“Really?” I asked, genuinely surprised. It had only been a month since she found out. I wouldn’t have blamed her for taking her time.

“Yeah,” she confirmed, a warm, affectionate smile spreading across her face.

“Why the big smile?” I asked, returning her grin.

“I talked to Aunt Mila,” she explained, her eyes sparkling. “She said she’d support whatever decision I made about the baby. So, I told her I want to keep it.”

My heart swelled with happiness for her.

“Wow, Laura,” I said, feeling a bit stunned. “That’s a big decision.”

“I know,” she admitted with a sigh. “But I want to do this. I want to bring a new life into the world.”

She had a dreamy look in her eyes again.

“I’m so glad you’ve made a decision, and that Mila is there for you,” I told her, my voice thick with emotion. “And remember, I’m here for you too.”

“Thank you,” she said, her smile fading as she took my hands. “And I’m here for you, too.”

I knew where this was headed.

“I know, Laura,” I said softly. “And I trust you.”

Laura studied me closely, and I held her gaze. I wanted her to believe me because I was truly ready to start trusting my friend more.

I wasn’t just saying it; I meant every word.

After a few moments of silence, she finally sighed and gave me a tentative smile. “I’m going to believe you.”

I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Laura.”

The rest of our meeting went smoothly. Laura seemed almost giddy about the baby; she even decided that the baby was going to be a ~girl~.

I was genuinely happy for her, happy for her choices. I admired her bravery in deciding to raise a baby without knowing who the father was.

It made my own problems seem insignificant. Laura was preparing to bring a new life into the world, while I had been trying to end mine over and over again.

I was ungrateful, and I needed to start appreciating my life more.

It was funny how a conversation with a young, pregnant woman could make me realize something so important.

After Laura and I said our goodbyes, it was time for me to visit Frey’s dojo.

When I arrived at the street where the dojo was located, I realized it was near the hill where my father was buried. I felt a pull to visit his grave, but I had other things to do. It would have to wait.

I parked my old car next to the Asian-style house that I assumed was the dojo and got out. It looked promising. The pointed roof added a cool factor to the dojo.

Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the front door.

A moment later, it opened, and there was Frey, looking as handsome as he had the day before. He was dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt, seemingly unaffected by the November chill.

“Hello, Veronica,” he greeted, giving me a kind smile and stepping aside. “Come on in.”

“Thanks,” I replied, stepping inside the dojo.

As soon as I entered, I felt like I’d been transported to a ninja school.

The floor was made of polished parquet, the walls were lined with caulked windows, and the ceiling was adorned with beautiful artwork from Assassin’s Creed.

The place was impressive.

Frey saw the awe in my eyes and grinned. “You like what you see, don’t you?”

“I’m speechless,” I admitted, turning to him. “How much did this place cost you?”

“You don’t need to worry about that,” he dismissed, leading me to a side door. “Let’s talk outside.”

He opened the door to reveal a garden filled with carnations and orchids. There was a glass table with two chairs. We each took a seat.

On the table was a teapot, two glasses, and a jar of sugar. Frey poured us some tea, which smelled like fresh mint, and asked, “Sugar?”

“One spoon,” I replied, and he added exactly one spoonful of sugar. He handed me my cup and took his.

We sat in silence for a few moments, sipping our tea. Then, as if remembering why we were there, Frey said, “Before we start, I need to tell you something.”

I sat up straighter, giving him my full attention.

He nodded, his purplish-gray eyes meeting mine.

“I’m going to mentor you,” he began, “but while I’ll be acting as a private coach and a therapist, I want you to continue seeing the therapist the hospital recommended.”

I winced slightly. “Why?”

“Because while I’m here to listen and guide,” he explained, “I don’t have a degree in psychology. I think you should see a professional, someone who can offer insights that I can’t. That’s my only condition for mentoring you.”

It was a reasonable request. I was a ticking time bomb. I could spiral out of control again at any moment. I could implode without even realizing it.

Maybe a professional therapist could help, but a part of me was still stubbornly against it.

“The last time I tried talking to someone like that, you know how it ended,” I murmured, my gaze fixed on the hypnotic swirls of sugar dissolving into my tea.

“There’s a big difference here, Veronica, and you know it,” Frey countered calmly.

“She’s not some school counselor, and she won’t blab your secrets to anyone. She doesn’t have any hidden agenda other than helping you find your way back.”

Once again, he was right.

“I know,” I admitted, my fingers gripping the cup tightly, “but still…”

“It’s another step towards your recovery,” he pressed, “please at least consider it. I believe you’ll make the right choice in the end.”

I looked up at him, his unusual eyes watching me intently.

My heart fluttered at the realization that this man, this supposed stranger, was trying to help me more than anyone else had, even my own mother.

It made me see how much I needed someone to be that brutally honest with me.

“Thank you,” I said, feeling a sense of relief for allowing him to guide me. “I’ll think about it.”

Frey smiled, transforming his face from mildly attractive to downright stunning. “Good,” he said, pulling out a piece of paper.

“Now, let’s create a schedule. We need to make sure it doesn’t interfere with your work or other commitments, figure out what days and times would work best for you, and so on.”

A couple of hours later, we had a schedule in place. Once that was settled, it was time for me to head home for the day.

As Frey walked me out, he reminded me, “Remember, Veronica. Consider the therapy sessions.”

“I will,” I promised.

Something inside me relaxed, and I was washed over with a sudden sense of peace.

A peace that reassured me I was making the right decision. That I was on the right path.

I was going to piece myself back together. I was going to become whole again.

And Frey was going to be there to help me do it.