A father should never have to bury his daughter.
A parent should never outlive their child.
But that was my reality.
Iâd never see her blond hair in the sink in her bathroom. Iâd never walk down the hallway and watch her play with her dolls on her bedroom floor. There would never be crayons that fell off the edge of the table and rolled underneath.
Now it was meâaloneâsurrounded by the walls that held on to her echoes.
Iâd have to sell it and move.
Couldnât stay here.
I dropped off the remains at the funeral home so they could be placed into coffins and prepared for the funeral. For my final goodbye. I picked out a beautiful rose gold casket for Claire.
Sheâd always loved pink.
For Beatrice, I picked white.
She wouldnât give a damn what she was buried in.
Honestly, neither did I.
I was furious that sheâd suffered like that, that she was taken from her life like a carton of milk off the shelf at the grocery store. But my sorrow was reserved for my daughter, the only person I really loved in this world.
When weâd had her, it was all diapers and vomit and chaos.
But that quickly changed, and she became everything to me.
I sat alone in the parlor in my apartment, a glass of scotch always somewhere nearby, Bleu coming and going. My days blurred together. Time had no meaning. How could it when my nights were days and my days were nights?
This was a kind of grief that would never get easier.
If Iâd just gone to Bartholomew soonerâ¦she might still be alive.
But I cared more about my pride.
I was a piece-of-shit father.
My phone rang beside me. It was the number to the funeral home. I recognized it because Iâd stared at it for so long before Iâd made that first call. It was an out-of-body experience, to call a funeral home and make arrangementsâ¦for your seven-year-old daughter.
I took the call but didnât say a word.
âMr. Marseille?â
I inhaled a deep breathâthen let it out slowly. âYeah?â
âAfter examining the remains, weâve discovered that there are bones for an adultâ¦not a child.â
My eyes focused on the amber liquid beside me, my heartbeat nonexistent. Iâd never opened the bag to look inside. I would never do thatâlook at her little bones. âI donât understandâ¦â
âWeâve confirmed the remains of two adults. But none from a child.â
I was on my feet, my eyes immediately turning to the window, my heartbeat back, stronger than ever.
âSince there are two sets of bones, weâll need to go through all the steps to verify the identityââ
âDo what you have to do.â
âCan we pull Beatriceâs medical records?â
âYes.â I hung up and left the house.
I ventured to the Catacombs, weaving through the narrow tunnels until I entered the grand chamber with the ancient city in the rear. The two thrones were thereâone vacant and another filled.
Bartholomew gave almost no reaction. His closed knuckles were against his jaw, and his ankle was crossed over the opposite knee. The table beside him held his glass of wine. With vacant eyes, he stared, as if heâd been expecting me.
I walked straight up to him, oblivious to the men and activities going on around me. âSheâs alive.â
He dropped his hand from his jaw as his eyes narrowed on my face.
âI sent the bones to the funeral home. They said the remains are of two adults.â
His eyes narrowed farther.
âHe lied to us. Sheâs still alive.â
âDoesnât mean he lied. Could have just given you the wrong bonesââ
âWeâre burning that place to the fucking ground, alright? Youâre coming with me and giving me everything I need to make this happen.â
He cocked his head and asked in a bored voice, âI am?â
âDamn right, you are.â
âThey say human memory is weak, and clearly it is.â
âOur arrangement hasnât changedââ
âClearly it has. Because you speak like youâre the leaderâwhen youâre a deserter.â
I didnât have time for his mind games and power moves. âJust help me get her back.â
âI have no interest in a provocationânot with these guys. But we will return and investigate the matterââ
âHe lied to us. He threw her bones at my feet and smiled as he did it, just to watch my suffering. He crossed youâand we donât let people cross us. I want them dead. Every single one of them. Heads on spikes. Bodies hanging from trees. Those trees on fire. Understand me?â
Bartholomew kept his voice at the same steady level despite my yells of rage. âWe do this my way.â
âFuck youââ
âThen do this on your own, Benton.â
âI will.â My voice echoed in the chamber, reverberating off the walls like an earthquake was shaking the world. âWatch me.â
His stoicism was infuriating, because nothing coerced a reaction out of him. He was immune to anger, rage, hurt, everything. He was a fucking sociopath. âI will handle this my way. If it doesnât workââ
âI donât have time to waste.â
He paused, waiting to make sure I finished my outburst. âThen weâll do it your way. You underestimate these men, and I wonât make the same mistake. Youâre blinded by emotion and rage, whereas Iâm thinking rationally.â
âYou can take your rational thinking and shove it up yourââ
âIf your daughter is alive, weâll get her back. Whatever it takes.â
I finally shut my mouth, hearing what I needed to hear.
âAnd once that happens, I own you. Do you understand me?â
I didnât have the capacity for pride. I didnât have the capacity for anything, not right now. All I wanted was Claireâand I could pay whatever that cost later. âYes, I understand.â
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