A Murder Of Crows {12}

I sat in my room, hands folded behind my head as I stared up at the ceiling. I couldn't stop thinking about Jamison's words from earlier.

Detention wasn't so bad; it was a chance to focus on my homework and get my mind off of everything. People had been excited to talk about the incident in the beginning of the day, but it quickly died down, and I suspected the Crows had something to do with it.

Fights were so rare at the Academy, since they could result in expulsion without a refund. Plus, getting expelled from such a prestigious school would be a wreck on college applications.

On the rare occasion that a fight did happen, it's all anyone could talk about for a while. But something told me that Jamison and his friends had threatened the students into silence about it.

But why?

Why did he care so much? I was part of a larger game, just a piece he had to figure out how to move so he could reach the end. He should be glad they were making a big deal of Kieran's violence. It fit their narrative of him being a Collector.

Instead, Jamison was silencing the rumors. I couldn't think of any way this could possibly help him.

I sat up as I heard my lock clicking. The door opened, and I prepared to bitch at Val about bothering me.

But instead, Val came in followed by Kieran and Mia. I shut my mouth as they closed the door and found places to sit.

"What's this about?" I said.

"The story is that you said shit about my mom. You don't tell anyone anything more specific than that," Kieran said.

"Thanks, I'm not stupid," I said.

"You just had to go and fuck up," Kieran said, his temper rising. "I put myself more on the Crows' radar, and risked expulsion all because you couldn't complete one simple goddamn job."

Mia crossed her arms. "I'm the one who fucked up my job. Keep your head, Kieran. We all know you're going to take it out on Jpeg because Jamison's taken a liking to him."

"I don't care who Jamison's taken a liking to. That's Cor's problem, not mine," Kieran said.

I looked at Val. "So are you caught in with all this shit? Or am I the only one not involved in any of it?"

"I talk to Cole," Val said. "But no, I don't have a secret history with any of the Crows."

"That makes two of us," I said.

Mia narrowed her eyes at me. "What?"

"I just happened to notice that you and Kenz fight very similarly. Any history there?" I said.

"Mind your own business," she snarled.

"I will. My question has been answered," I said.

How deep did all of this run? Kieran had a history with Jamison and Cole, Mia had a history with Kenz...

It was all getting too tangled. The past, the present. The game was only getting harder the more I learned about them.

"Look, I couldn't care less what your histories with them are. But if there's something there that's going to put us in danger, Val and I need to know," I said.

"That nosy bitch probably knows everything anyways," Kieran said.

Val wagged a finger at Kieran. "Now, now. I don't blackmail and tell, Kieran."

There was a knock on my door and I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Come in at your own risk."

Jamison opened the door. His eyes shot to Kieran, his guard instantly up.

"What do you want?" I asked, wishing everyone would leave my damn room so I could take a nap.

"I was coming to check on you," Jamison said.

"How noble of you," Kieran sneered, looking as irritated as I felt. "We've already fixed everything. You can go stick your nose somewhere else now."

Jamison straightened up a little, and I had to give the guy credit. He could look intimidating when he really wanted to.

"You're on probation, Kieran," Jamison said.

"And? I'm not breaking any rules by being here," Kieran challenged. "Piss off, president. None of us want you here. Go crawling back to your flock."

"Murder," I corrected. "A flock of crows is called a murder."

"No one asked for your input," Kieran said.

"If I waited for you to ask for my input, I'd never speak," I said.

"Please, feel free to do just that," Kieran said.

"A please," Val said, eyes going wide. "Even a sarcastic please is rare from Kier!"

"It shouldn't be. His mother taught him better than that," Jamison said.

Kieran got up so fast he nearly knocked the chair down. "Don't you dare shit about my mom."

"I'm not," Jamison said, meeting Kieran's eyes with that cold, intense stare of his. "I'm saying shit about you. She'd be ashamed of what you've become. Cole and I are."

"I don't give a damn what you and Cole think about me," Kieran snapped. "You're both just hiding behind those fancy little pins on your shirt."

"Cole and I are making something of ourselves," Jamison said.

"Yea, by stepping on anyone who gets in your way," Kieran said.

I kept my mouth shut, watching and taking in everything they said to each other. Reading their body language and trying to piece together a complicated history through their argument.

"We've worked hard to get where we are, and we don't need to beat up our own friends," Jamison said.

"No, you just need to manipulate anyone who's useful to you, and stab anyone who isn't," Kieran said.

They were slowly taking steps towards each other, and I saw Kieran clench his fists. If he so much as slapped Jamison, he'd be in danger of getting expelled.

"Break it up boys," Val said, stepping between them with no fear.

"Step back," Mia said, shoving Jamison.

Jamison barely budged, and I was a little impressed. He must be stronger than he looks. Mia wasn't the strongest person in the world, but she could move you if she wanted to.

"I'd watch yourself. Headmaster Crowe won't be so lenient towards someone with a previous probation on their record," Jamison said.

Previous probation on her record? Well, there was some new information.

"Jamison. Can I call you Jamie? Jamie, my friend, you're picking fights," Val said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Maybe you should leave."

Jamison closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He looked over at me with an apologetic expression.

"Val is right. I came here to check on you, not cause trouble," he said.

I held up my phone. "We talked about this, remember?"

"I know. But I wanted to check on you in person," Jamison said. He bit his lip and sighed. "Sorry, Cor. I wasn't trying to cause a scene in your room."

"It's the most entertainment I've had in a while," I said. "Entertainment is over though. Everyone out. I have homework to do."

"Let's go," Kieran said to Mia, roughly shouldering his way past Jamison. Mia followed, leaving Jamison with a dirty look in her wake.

"I'll see you later, Jpeg," Val said, winking before leaving my room, taking the liberty of shutting Jamison into my room with me.

"I am sorry, Cor. I'm just so mad at him for attacking you like that. I just sort of lost my temper," Jamison said.

"Why bother coming to check on me? I'm no better and no worse than I was in class," I said.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm just worried, okay?"

Why? Why? Why?

"Well, now you've comforted yourself with the knowledge that I'm in exactly the same condition as I was when you saw me, what, two hours ago? Get out so I can do my homework," I said.

"We have the same homework. Mind if I stick around? I could use your notes for that history assignment," he said. "I missed one of the lectures before I switched into this rotation."

"Sure, fine," I said, shifting over to my desk and pulling my work out. I tossed my history notebook to him. "Knock yourself out."

"Don't you need it?" he said, just barely managing to catch it.

I shook my head. "Nah, I'm good at remembering the history lectures." I picked up my pen, hesitating for a moment before setting it back down and turning to face Jamison. "Speaking of history, yours with Kieran is a lot more complicated than you were letting on."

He looked down at my notebook, slowly shaking his head. "It's not, really. We were little kids in the same rotation. We were friends. We grew up, and just didn't mix together well."

"Lot of anger there," I said.

"Lot of anger," he echoed. "Yea, I guess you're right. Not that it matters. We'll be graduating, and that's the last we'll ever have to see of each other."

"Not that it matters?" I knew I should shut my mouth and mind my own business, but all these skeletons in their closets were starting to haunt me, and it was driving me crazy not to know the truth. "You were worried about him. You don't worry about things that don't matter."

"Call it nostalgia," he said with a shrug. "Like I said, we were friends as kids. It's just kind of sad to see what Kieran became. He was different when we were young."

"What, you mean he wasn't always in his angst phase?" I said.

Jamison gave a small, sad smile. "No. He always had this grin on his face, like the world owed him something and he was there to collect the debt."

My guard was instantly up. "The world doesn't owe anyone anything."

"He made it owe him something," Jamison said. "He had all this life in him, and he was eager to live it out. He could be mean, take things too far, you know. But he had good intentions."

That almost made me laugh. Kieran with good intentions?

"But I guess that's what happens when you demand something from the world. Sometimes it gives you things you don't want," Jamison said. He opened his bag and started pulling out his homework. "He didn't get what he wanted, and it changed him."

"And you?" It slipped out.

Jamison looked surprised. "Me? Well, I guess I learned from Kieran. The world didn't owe me anything, so I had to build something for myself. What about you, Cor? What do you want out of life?"

"Some damn peace and quiet," I said.

But the question caught me a little off-guard. What did I want out of life?

I'd never really wanted much. I was happy to have a computer, maybe some books and video games. But that wasn't a future. That wasn't a goal.

Did I even have a goal in life? I was trying pushing my way through until I got out of this Collector situation. Then what? What was my next move? College, sure, but that was more because I knew I needed a job and a steady income to live comfortably. It wasn't because I was working towards some dream job.

What did I want out of life?

Jamison was still watching me, but with my eyes covered, I doubt he could read much of my expression. He finally dropped his gaze down to his homework, taking out a worksheet.

"Sorry. Guess we should get to work," he said.

"Guess so," I said.

We started our homework, falling into silence save for pages turning and pens scribbling along paper. I tried to focus on the problems, but instead, Jamison's question kept running through my mind.

It frustrated me. Usually I could make polite conversation, and then forget about it all once I disengaged. But with Jamison, the things he said stuck with me. They haunted me, whispering on repeat in the back of my mind.

Why? He was a piece of the game, not something permanent. He shouldn't have an impact like this on me.

We worked for a while, neither of us saying anything. It was a comfortable silence, and unlike Val, Jamison didn't try to bother me with conversation while I was focusing on other things.

Finally though, he stood up. "Thanks for letting me stay here and borrow your notes, Cor. I've got to go help Kenz with some Crow stuff down at the Nest. Sorry again for causing trouble earlier."

"Quit apologizing," I said, holding my hand out for the notebook.

Jamison handed it to me, gathering his stuff and slinging his bag over his shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow. I hope you feel better." He eyed my injuries, his frown growing deeper. "Goodnight, Cor."

"Goodnight," I said, watching him leave my room.

As the door shut behind him, I rubbed my eyes. I turned back to my work, finishing it up and stuffing it back in my bag.

I turned on the news, watching a few different segments as I waited for any story about the attacks around town to come on. The anchors went on about local troubles and triumphs, pointless stories about business owners and update on the weather.

My door opened and I turned, realizing I'd never locked it after Jamison left. Kieran kicked it shut and sat on my bed.

"There won't be a story on it," he said.

I turned the news off. "What do you want?"

"He's using you," Kieran said. "I'll assume you're smart enough to figure that out on your own, but stupid enough to fall for it anyways."

"Thanks for the confidence. I'm saving my own ass here, I'm not going to throw us under the bus," I said. "Speaking of saving my ass, that was reckless of you."

"If you got found out, it'd put the rest of us at risk," Kieran said. "I knew I could pull a sympathy card and avoid expulsion."

"You didn't know that. You hoped that. There's a difference, and a risky one at that," I said.

"Be thankful I took that risk," he said.

Maybe I was getting a little cocky knowing Kieran couldn't hit me right now, or maybe I was just getting too nosy. "It sounds like you took a lot of risks with your buddy Jamison when you were younger."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Jamison is nothing to me."

"But he was, once," I said.

"You're getting as nosy as Val," Kieran said.

"Can you blame me? You people get tense around each other, have all this history, and pick fights every chance you get. Yet it sounds like you were all pretty good friends once," I said.

"We were friends," Kieran said. "Until Jamison's goals were a little too high for him to reach and he needed someone to step on to close the gap. He's not someone you should trust."

"Good thing I've never trusted any of you people," I said.

"He's always been charming. You don't realize how cruel he can be until you're pulling his knife out of your back," Kieran said, heading for my door. "If you fall for his act, you'll just be another rung in his ladder."

The door shut and I pulled my glasses off, rubbing my eyes. Jamison's expression and voice could be so sincere when he talked to me. Was it just an act?

Jamison was more dangerous than Kieran, that much was clear. Kieran didn't hide his cruelty. He left it on display, a warning to anyone who got near him. He didn't hide behind a charming smile and considerate words.

Jamison Heitor.

Just who was he? Just what did he want from me?

How much was sincere, and how much was just a carefully calculated act? There were nonverbal cues to look for to detect lies, but anyone could learn them and teach themselves how to avoid them.

I got up and put my glasses back on, hurrying to the door and yanking it open. "Kieran!"

Kieran stopped and turned to face me. I shouldn't ask. I shut tell him never mind and shut the door.

"Did you ever care about him?" I said.

A dark look, something much more dangerous than I had ever seen in his eyes, passed over him. "Yes. I'll never make that mistake again, and you shouldn't, either. Cole defends Jamison now, but he'll be forced to face the truth when Jamison steps on him, too. Jamison Heitor isn't the charming, friendly president. He's manipulative and selfish. He claims his friends mean everything to him, but he dries them up and steps up to the next rung in his ladder of success."

I watched Kieran until he disappeared around the corner. I went back into my room, shutting the door and locking it.

I sat back down at my desk, picking up my phone and staring at it. The biggest mistake I'd ever made. The picture that had thrown me into this mess.

I unlocked my phone, scrolling through the pictures until I found the culprit. Two people were in the picture.

There was me, sitting on one of the lower brick walls lining some of the inclines around campus. My smile was small, closer to a grin. But there was something genuine about it, something that conveyed happiness even with my eyes hidden by my sunglasses.

And then there was the other person.

Those blue eyes, inviting me to swim right into them until I drowned. That delicate smile, so happy, so sharp. Clearly holding my phone at arm's length to fit both of us into the picture.

I didn't have many pictures on my phone, and almost none of them were of people. This had been the only one of me with another person, until Val got ahold of my phone and started taking selfies with me and the others.

Locking my phone, I clutched it tightly in my hand. I recognized this feeling, the same feeling I'd get around that person in the picture.

Interest. Curiosity. Wondering when I'd see them next. Their words stored in my mind, taken out to be examined at unexpected moments.

Fondness.

Fondness I hadn't felt since them. Someone who could pull a genuine smile from me. Someone who could talk me into revealing different sides of my personality. Someone I could sit in silence with for hours, or have endless conversations with.

Jamison had slipped through the cracks.

But he was dangerous. He'd clearly left Kieran damaged, and that was no easy feat. He had Nia in the palm of his hand despite how he treated her. There was so much more to him than he was letting me see, and that both drew me in and put me on guard.

"Fuck," I muttered. Here I went again, making my life far more dangerous and complicated than it really should be. Great job, Cor.