Chapter 36: Violence and Tears

"Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage. Not weakness."

Fabian was so confused by the sight he saw in front of him.

Jaimie-mae was literally beating one of Nicah's grown men. Her shirt was ripped and she had a few small cuts on her skin, but it looked like the guy was worse off then her.

Suddenly, the man pinned Jaimie-mae down, so Fabian immediately rushed forward and rammed his foot into the guy's side.

The guy fell off, so Fabian rushed over to help Jaimie-mae up. However, she suprised him when she brushed him off and immediately tackled the man to the ground. She threw fast punches at his face and each one made Fabian cringe.

"Yo Jaimie! What are you doing? Don't kill him!" Fabian shouted.

Fabian was shocked to see any sort of violence come from her. It wasn't like her to show any sort of hostility other than when she was having one of her flashbacks.

Fabian quickly pulled Jaimie-mae off the big dude and held her firmly by the waist. She was practically growling in his hold. Her chest rose and fell unevenly and her cheeks were flushed. Tears poured down them but she made no noise.

"Get outta here. And tell Nicah that him and his men are a bunch of frikken cowards. I can't beleive any of you would hurt a girl, especially when she's literally half your size," Fabian said angrily.

The guy got up, glared and rushed away from the scene.

"Are you okay?" Fabian asked softly.

Jaimie-mae didn't respond, so instead he led her to the car and put her in the passenger seat.

After going around and hopping in the drivers seat, he shut the door and sat back with a sigh.

"I-im sorry." Jaimie-mae's voice was barely a whisper.

Fabian snapped his head over to her. "What. Why?"

"I got angry," she said with a shaky voice.

He chuckled. "You can get angry. I know i got angry."

"I just beat up a guy. That's not okay."

"Self defense. No big deal. You just gotta promise me you won't hold on to the anger. Don't... you know, hold grudges or whatever."

She took a deep breath. "I wish t-that... shooting at my school never happened. I wish that the shooter was dead. Or i... i just, i would have killed him myself if it meant Rosay didn't have to die."

Fabian froze. Jaimie-mae had never gone into what had happened to her 2 years ago. She never spoke about it. Never explained what triggered PTSD for her. Just by her few words he could pretty much peice together what traumitized her.

"I mean. Why didn't i die like Rosay did? Why was i left here with these freakin' horrible memories?"

Tears poured down Jaimie-mae's face even more and Fabian's heart clenched. He hated the words coming out of her mouth.

"Why was i left here with the guilt. I couldn't save the one person that was supposed to be by my side. I mean, even Laura survived. Laura hated me and her. She literally pushed Rosay in front of her and got her killed. Laura only left with a bullet graze." Jaimie-mae shook her head and her fury bubbled up. "If i had the chance, i'd strangle Laura with my own bare hands. She deserves it."

Fabian winced. He'd never heard such harsh things come out of her sweet mouth. "Jaimie, listen to me. What they did was absolutely horrible. But don't wish them pain, that's not who you are. If they caused you pain, fuck them. But don't let them keep torturing you. I hate to see you like this Jaimie-baby."

"But, you don't know Rosay like i did. We did everything together. We signed up for sports and clubs together. She'd always say that i'd be her bridesmaid in her wedding. She already had the color theme and the look of her dress picked out even though she didn't even have a boyfriend at the time," she said with a sad chuckle.

"I miss her all the time. I mean, i didn't even think that she'd be taken away from me so s-soon. When i get a boyfriend... she won't be there to help me decide what to wear for our dates like she said she would. She won't be helping me do my hair. She was sooo good at hair. I could never braid mines. I still haven't learned.

That day literally tore me to peices. I didn't sleep at all for a whole three weeks. I couldn't stay at my old school. I can't beleive people could go back. I couldn't even drive past it without breaking down. That was the worse day of my life," she said as she choked back more tears.

"Wow Jaimie. I-i-im literally speechless. That was horrible. And i know that it should have never happened but it led you here to another town. You literally saved my life. And i'm so glad to have met you. And i know that i couldn't do any justice for Rosay, but i promise, when i'm your boyfriend, i'll help you decide what to wear for our dates. And i'll learn how to braid hair, just for you. Just so that i can see you smile."

Jaimie-mae tore her gaze from the window and looked at Fabian with a watery gaze that tore his heart in two. "I need a hug."

Fabian cracked a small, sad smile and immediately reached out for her. He grabbed her into his arms and pulled her into his lap awkwardly. Once she was positioned comfortably enough, she buried her face into his chest and silently sobbed. He rubbed soothing circles into her back and smoothed her wild, soft waves down.

He could feel her gripping the fabric of his shirt in her hand. Every once in a while, she'd delicately run her fingers over his torso. It made him shiver and he'd have to stop himself from grabbing her and kissing the life out of her.

When she calmed down, he talked into her ear. "You are so. damn. cute."

She sniffled and looked up at him through her wet eyelashes. "I'm crying," she deadpanned.

"And?" He asked in a duh tone.

"Crying isn't cute on people."

"Yeah well its cute on you. But your cute 24/7 so..."

She smiled adoringly at him. "Thanks."

"Wanna come to my place?"

"Sure."

Fabian helped Jaimie-mae back into her seat but then he froze and quickly averted his eyes.

"What's wrong Fabian?"

He hurridly took off his jacket and shoved it in her direction. "Put it on."

She took it from him hesitantly and slipped it on. "Okayyy."

He turned back but then he smacked his hand over his face. He quickly reached over and zipped up the jacket. "Jeez Jaimie. You're such a freakin' tease."

He started the car up and pulled away. "Cute bralette by the way."

***

Fabian watched as Jaimie-mae exited his bathroom with her hair dripping on her neck and shoulders lightly. He seemed almost hyperaware of her graceful movements and her smell.

She smelled like his body wash and then a hint of her own simple scent. He realized how she never had a perfumey smell. Her scent was more natural and light.

If he could describe it, he'd imagine it being like if a breeze wafted past him, carrying the scent of strawberries or tea. It wasn't strong. It was faint. He'd only get the smell if she walked past or she was cuddled up close to him.

"Are you feeling any better?"

She yawned and nodded as she folded up her and Fabian's clothes.

She came over and collapsed onto the cool sheets of his bed. She ruffled around in them until she found the most comfortable spot, her face buried into the pillows.

Fabian chuckled and then reached over and rubbed her back comfortingly over the shirt.

"Dat feels ice," Jaimie-mae mumbled through the pillows.

Fabian laughed until he heard a sudden crash and then a door slamming open.

The sound of shouting filled the house and Fabian immediately sprung up from his bed and opened the door.

"You say you need a break, fine! I'll leave so you can have a break!"  Madison shouted as she stormed out of her bedroom with a bag.

"Mama?" Fabian said as Madison brushed past him.

He followed his mom down the stairs and watched as she angrily slipped into some shoes.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving."

"You can't leave mama."

Madison slid on a coat and opened the door.

"Mama?"

"Take care of your brother please," Madison mumbled before she left the house with a bang.

Fabian flinched and his stomach dropped. He knew his parents were having a few problems, but he never knew they were this bad.

Mason came running down the stairs not to long later. He flung the door open and ran out of the house. "Mommy! Don't go. Daddy didn't mean it!"

Madison pulled out of the driveway and blew a kiss to her sons. "I love you, babies. I'll be back."

Mason chased after the car barefooted and Fabian ran out to catch him. He picked him up and held him close. "No mommy!" Mason cried into Fabian's shoulder.

Fabian rubbed Mason's back as he walked back towards the house. He quietly shut the door and carried him up the stairs towards Mason's bedroom.

He gently placed him in the bed and turned off the lights. "Its okay little man. She said she would be back."

Once Fabian was sure Mason was safely tucked in, he dragged himself back into his room where Jaimie-mae was kneeling on the bed anxiously.

"Is everyone okay?" She asked quietly.

He was about to nod but then he felt his eyes start to water. He took hesitant steps towards the bed.

"Fabian?"

One tear.

One tear was all it took to make Jaimie-mae engulf him into a warm hug filled with the faint smell of tea.

It was his turn to cry into her chest.

It was her turn to feel her heart clench for him.

It was their turn to finally notice that love is what got them through things like this.