Chapter 30: I'll Wait

"If she's to good for you, my God, don't leave her. Make an effort to be good enough instead."

6 Weeks Later

After the kiss, Fabian had made it his mission to push Jaimie-mae away. She tried to ask what she had done wrong but he would simply ignore her or not reply to her texts. She could feel her heart eroding away slowly, piece by piece.

Fabian had felt completely bored without Jaimie-mae to make him smile and he saw her one day on the street, walking home from school and his heart dropped from its place in his chest. It was safe to say that by the third week, he had run back to her to make it up to her.

He stayed with her at her house for two days, as friends. He helped her with school work and he let her vent to him. And what made him feel the slightest bit more guilty, was that she was just so quick to forgive. Not once did she complain about his sudden going MIA. Not once did she bring up anything he did to cause conflict.

She simply said "That's okay. I understand why you did it. I forgive you."

After that she was all smiles and laughs and positivity.

Five weeks in, a girl came up to Fabian while Jaimie-mae was with him. She was pretty. But not like Jaimie-mae was.

However, it was clear the girl had a crush on Fabian and Jaimie-mae had jumped in and played wingman for Fabian. She got them to exchange numbers and Fabian shook his head at the way she encouraged them to talk.

After he had dropped her home, while he was in the privacy of his own car, he had hit his steering wheel and shouted and cursed. He wished that she had just been selfish for once and she had come out and told him she didn't want him to see other girls.

He wanted her to come back out to him and tell him her feelings. But she wasn't selfish like he was. She wouldn't take away something that could make him happy. But she didn't seem to realize that she made him happy. She was putting everyone but herself in mind and he really wished she wouldn't, just this once.

Six weeks in, they did the same thing. They sat in his car in silence, each of them too scared to speak those unspoken words. After a few moments of silence, Jaimie-mae got out and ran up into her house and into her room. He watched as she stood with her back to the window, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs and his heart clenched at the sight.

He remembered something his mom told him a while back and he shook his head at how different his mom and dad were. They were telling him two different things.

His mom had told him that if there was something he couldn't stop thinking about, then he shouldn't stop working for it.

He pulled out his phone after an hour of sitting outside of Jaimie-mae's house and texted her.

I'm here if you want me

It was a bold text, but he didn't know how else he could put it.

What you mean?

He didn't know how to make it any clearer

Shit Jaimie, i want you

Her text came back short and simple

I'm here

He immediately hopped out of his car and ran through into her house without knocking. He'd never been to her room before but somehow he found it after his second try. She was standing beside her bed with wide eyes. She obviously hadn't realized he was outside her house that whole time. She didn't realize he never left.

He jumped on her and made her fall backwards onto her bed with an oof.

"Your not light," she wheezed out.

He ignored her and crushed her body with his as he peppered kisses all over her. She giggled as he continued to place kisses on her.

She tried to move him off of her but he just shifted a little so that he wasn't fully trapping her on the bed.

"What are you doing?" She asked through small laughs.

"I'm kissing you."

She laughed into his ear gently. "I know that. Why?"

"I missed you," he mumbled into her skin.

"You shouldn't be doing this."

"And why not?"

"Because you're going to get in trouble."

"For you, i would."

She smiled and pulled his head up from her neck so she could look at his face. "You are so cheesy."

"You like it," he teased.

"Yeah, i guess i do."

Fabian was now smiling so much that his cheeks hurt. "Okay, kinda off topic, but you're like the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Jaimie-mae froze. "What?"

"I think you heard me."

"Why are you so sweet to me?"

"I don't know. Why is that?"

Jaimie-mae surprised him by flipping them over and Fabian was now laying beneath her. He looked at her with a smirk. "Wow."

She shook her head with a laugh. Her hair fell off her shoulders and hung past her face, dangling above his. "Are you impressed?"

"I am."

"Good because it took a lot of effort to flip over your heavy body."

"Are you calling me fat."

"No. Not fat. More so... generous."

He scoffed and put his hands on her hips. "Thanks."

She leaned down and quickly pecked his cheek and then his neck. Unconciously, his mouth lifted up into a content smile.

"Are you going to go back to ignoring me after this?"

"No. It's kind of difficult to ignore you."

Jaimie-mae didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Fabian?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you promise me something?"

Surprisingly, Fabian didn't even hesitate. He realized he'd do anything for her, even if it wasn't in his best interest. "Yeah. What is it?"

Malakai was right, he was whipped.

"If you want, i need you to wait four months."

"Huh?"

"I turn eighteen in four months. You need to promise we'll be just friends for four months."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Just friends?"

She nodded. "Just friends."

"Four months?"

"Four months," she said with a soft chuckle.

"That's so longgg," he whined. "But i'll wait. Why all of a sudden though?"

"Because... your dad came by and he ugh, talked with me," she said quietly.

Fabian's jaw clenched. "What did he say to you?"

"H-he told me to stay away from you and i should keep my problems away from you so that i don't stress you out. And then your mom came and talked to him. She must have told him that we should stay friends and then when i turn eighteen, we could... you know."

"Oh my- Jaimie, i am so sorry."

"It's fine. I get it. It's hard to be in a relationship with someone who's got PTSD. Your dad is doing what's best for you."

"He's wrong. You're best for me."

"That's not true. Being with someone with PTSD is... not always the best. Their problems become yours. It's not healthy. Just... promise me that with the four months you have, try finding a girl who makes you happy. Someone who can keep you happy for a long time. I don't want you to be limited to a girl with problems."

Fabian looked at Jaimie-mae in shock. She was telling him to find another girl for himself just because she had PTSD. He knew his dad had gotten into her head but he didn't realize how far he had gotten.

He was already afraid to lose her and she wasn't even his yet.

"Look Jaimie-baby, i'm not leaving. I like you, a lot."

"I know. You don't know how nice it is to hear you say that, but i can't do that to you. I'd be holding you back. I'm causing conflict in your family. I come with more problems than good things."

Fabian scoffed and shook his head. He held her face in his hands. "Listen to me. I will wait for you, because honestly, i don't want anyone else. I know that waiting for you will be worth it, because i feel that the longer i have to wait for something, the more i'll appreciate it when it arrives. And in my case, that 'it' is you."

Tears rushed to the front of Jaimie-mae's eyes and she put her head back so they wouldn't fall. "Stoppp, you're going to make me cry."

"Wow. I'm just too good. I've officially brought tears to someone's eyes," he joked.

He leaned up and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Can i just have like one more kiss before i have to go four months Jaimie-mae kiss free."

She looked at him like she was thinking about it. "Hmm, yes you may."

She lowered herself down and kissed him softly for a second then pulled back up.

"No fair. That was not a kiss."

She smiled and leaned down again, kissing him deeply this time.

Fabian almost felt like he could explode when he felt the softness of her lips on his. He suddenly felt like he could shout and outer space would be able to hear him.

Fabian gently pushed down on her hips so she had her weight on his torso now. He could feel her holding herself up in fear that she might hurt him. She was not a big girl and he'd prefer to feel her pressed up against him.

As they kissed he could feel Jaimie-mae's hands wander up to his hair and soon his hands slipped down to her bum. He gently squeezed with one hand and she squeaked into the kiss. She pulled back, her face completely flushed.

"Sorry, too far?" he asked sheepishly.

She hesitantly shook her head and guided his hand to just to above her bum. He smiled teasingly and she just blushed and ducked behind her hair. He let his hand run down her bum and up again. She didn't protest and instead leaned down again.

He watched as she leaned in for a kiss on his lips and his eyes fluttered closed in anticipation, but instead he felt her press a feather light kiss on his sharp jaw. He shuddered under her and his eyes shot open. She trailed her lips down his neck and he was just about shaking now.

He felt her slide her bum down past his torso and now she was sitting right on the waist band of his pants. She kissed him again on the lips, this time tugging his hair a little and he started wondering how he hadn't yet lost himself.

He then almost had a heart attack when he felt Jaimie-mae grind gently against him. She didn't seem to notice she did that. He groaned when she did it again.

She pulled back. "Sorry, did i hurt you."

"N-no. You didn't," he said with a strained voice.

She blushed and hopped off of him. "Sorry."

"Why are saying sorry?"

"This could get you in t-"

"Shut up," he said as he rolled off of her bed. "For now, you and me, best friends," he said with a smile. "Should we shake on it?"

"Sure." They shook hands playfully and then Fabian planted a kiss on the back of her hand.

"And that." He pointed to the bed and then them. "To be continued in four months time."