Chapter 37

Isn’t it just cruel to wake up early and work on a weekend that should be as sweet as honey?

I’m not even self-employed, so why am I working this hard?

“Because I have to… Damn it.”

The World Art Prize. The submission deadline is the end of this month—March 31st, to be exact.

And today is March 26th, leaving just five days.

While others are probably sleeping in and enjoying their weekend, here I am, shivering in my studio.

Even if I wanted to complain, the vision of creating a masterpiece keeps me going. Damn, it’s even colder today.

“Why is the competition in mid-July, but the submission deadline is three months ahead?”

I’m probably the only one struggling with this absurd timing.@@novelbin@@

I glanced at the clock hanging on the wall with just my eyes.

[06:37]

It’s half past six in the morning—still earlier than a rooster’s crow.

With a long sigh, I clutched the hand warmer in my padded jacket pocket.

“Having to stare at this all day is its own kind of hell.”

Not that I’m supposed to just stare at it. I’m here to catch and fix any mistakes that might pop out.

Currently, I’m keeping my distance from the painting, practically banishing myself to a corner of the room.

Still, I have to check it every two hours to make sure everything’s in order. What about when I’m asleep?

Unfortunately, if I’m asleep at night, there’s no way to address any issues until the next morning.

"I woke up at 5 a.m., so maybe I’ll check it one last time in 20 minutes and then eat breakfast."

With about 20 minutes left until 7 a.m., I decided that’d be a good time to check it again before heading out.

“Why am I doing all this? It’d be nice if people actually acknowledged my efforts.”

No matter how much I grumble, I’m the one who made this painting. The responsibility lies squarely on me.

I grabbed my phone and opened YouTube, thinking I’d check my channel for the first time in a while.

"The comments are going wild…"

I hadn’t been able to upload anything recently because of this so-called masterpiece. No other paintings meant no new videos.

Maybe I should put this painting to rest soon.

Perhaps I’ll even do a live stream later—might as well, since I’m not actively working right now.

These days, my routine mostly involves sitting around, checking the painting, and then sitting back down.

“Let’s take a break after the competition.”

Mid-July marks the beginning of summer vacation. Maybe I’ll go on a trip with my family.

“Well, since I’m already going to the U.S. for the competition, I can just enjoy myself then.”

I should prepare my passport ahead of time. But can I even survive a flight?

“That’s a problem for later.”

By 7 a.m., the sun had started to rise, but the sunlight wasn’t enough to warm up the studio’s chill.

The studio seemed to get colder with every visit, and even my parents had started to admit it was freezing.

The last time I touched the painting was three days ago.

Even when I was at school, there wasn’t much I could do, and I had to tend to it as soon as I got back.

It might seem like I’ve already done everything I can and shouldn’t touch it anymore.

But… I guess it’s just a habit.

Artists have this tendency to chase the abstract idea of perfection.

I’m no exception, so I keep checking over and over.

"...Come to think of it, I could’ve just checked it every two hours from the start."

What a stupid oversight. I marveled at my own genius as I stood up.

Waking up so early had left me starving.

And honestly, I missed the warmth of home after just two hours. This place is too damn cold.

I stood up, gave the painting a quick once-over, and turned around.

The painting was complete—it could be submitted as-is without any issues.

But this was my personal obsession.

I had to keep looking at it, right up until the last moment.

At the bottom of the painting, my initials were etched so subtly that no one would notice unless they knew where to look.

-HAEUN [허무설 (虛無雪)]

The original term is 허무설 (虛無說), a concept from Eastern philosophy.

But I swapped one character. Instead of "설 (說)" meaning "theory," I used "설 (雪)" meaning "snow."

The original 허무설 refers to the idea of emptying oneself and achieving moral transcendence.

You can find it in Taoist teachings.

But with "설 (雪)," it’s open to interpretation.

I’m not much of a philosopher, but here’s my personal take:

“A vast, unfillable space of snow.”

It’s like pouring water into a bottomless jar. No matter how much snow piles up, it can never cover the entire world.

This was the first meaning I’ve ever assigned to one of my paintings since reincarnating.

Why did I create this piece, 허무설 (虛無雪)? It’s a gift to my past self.

Now, surrounded by love and support, I no longer feel the emptiness.

But in my past life, there was no one by my side.

This first masterpiece is like a knife I’m sending to my dead self.

"Don’t cling to your parents’ gaze and praise anymore."

No matter how much snow piles up, it melts away and disappears. It can never blanket the entire vastness of the world.

Even if you exhaust yourself piling snow in the void, it doesn’t change the past.

"This is the end. My former self is dead. The one here now is Lee Ha-Eun."

I placed my hand on the studio door handle.

Suddenly, I sensed a presence and turned back toward the painting.

A faint figure was standing there, holding a brush, painting on the canvas.

"...Still painting, huh? Foolish. Stubborn."

-"Says the pot to the kettle."

Was it an auditory hallucination? The figure’s voice echoed as it touched 허무설.

The blurry silhouette vanished without another word.

"Maybe the painting is haunted… Should I call an exorcist?"

It seemed like 허무설 might genuinely have a spirit attached to it. Should I find a shaman to deal with this?

Still, thanks to that mysterious figure, I felt like I didn’t need to worry about 허무설 anymore.

The intended recipient of this gift would keep watching over it.

"Foolish bastard."

I cursed at them internally as I left the studio, tossing my padded jacket onto a chair.

I locked the door to give the "recipient" some peace.

They seemed to like the painting. How childish.

With a small laugh, I walked home, feeling lighthearted.

Now, my life is the exact opposite of theirs. We are completely different beings.

That thought alone lifted my spirits.

"Enjoy this life to the fullest. That’s the message I want to send."

This life, full of happiness and fun.

***

"Don’t you need to go to the studio?"

My mom’s question made me glance up.

"Not anymore. I don’t think I need to worry about it for now."

"Really? That’s odd… You were rushing out of the house like a bullet at dawn just a few days ago."

"That won’t be happening again."

I couldn’t promise her that. There’s no such thing as “never again.” It could happen a third time, maybe even a fourth.

"What about Dad?"

"He’s already left for work. He’s got a meeting."

Mom’s reply was curt, but she smiled warmly right after.

"But knowing my son is taking a break today makes me feel better."

“Working on the weekend... Poor Dad.”

I silently paid my respects to him. So today’s going to be a day spent with Ha-Yoon, huh?

Breakfast was done, and the clock pointed to 8 a.m.

"Has Yoonie woken up yet?"

"Not yet. She’ll probably shuffle out of her room eventually."

"I see. Oh, about the art submission—"

"I’ll go with you, of course. It’d be weird for you to go alone, wouldn’t it?"

"I could go on my own, though."

Mom raised an eyebrow at me.

"You don’t want to go with me?"

"It’s not that... Fine, I’ll call you when I need to leave school early."

"Got it~."

Her mood brightened instantly. Simple-minded as always.

Now I had extra time and nothing to do. Ha-Yoon wasn’t waking up anytime soon.

“What does she even do at night to sleep in so late?”

On weekdays, she wakes up early, but come the weekend, she doesn’t rise until nearly 10.

She doesn’t play games, so maybe... social media?

It’s the right age for that. The thought of my cute little sister posting on SNS made me chuckle.

"Oh, son. If you’ve got nothing to do, let’s film a YouTube video today."

"Oh, right. I’d almost forgotten."

Maybe I’ll do a relaxed morning stream and paint something.

"Do we still have any blank canvases or paper at home?"

I’d moved most of my supplies to the studio.

"Hmph. I came prepared ages ago."

Mom stood up and pulled out a stash of clean, well-organized art supplies.

When did she even buy these? They were in perfect condition.

"Okay, I’ll set up the stream~."

With that, she headed to my room.

Fine. I’ll treat this like clearing out overdue homework.

Time passed, and the live stream began.

"Testing, testing, can everyone hear me?"

Luckily, my room was soundproofed—it was worth every penny I spent on it. It had cost a small fortune.

[ㅎㅇㅎㅇ]

[The streamer must kneel immediately!]

[Why are you so late?ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ]

[Dang it, Lee Ha-Eun! Are you trying to starve us?]

[Let’s go for a 24-hour drawing stream since it’s been so long!]

As expected, the chat exploded the moment I turned it on.

Viewers: 2,638

It hadn’t even been five minutes, and the viewers were already flooding in.

"Uh… Everyone, calm down for a bit. I’ve finally finished the piece I’ve been working on, so…"

[Does this mean we’ll get regular streams now?]

[Please upload to YouTube daily...ㅠㅠ]

[I was waiting for your painting!]

[Pls turn on V LIVE more often!]

[Ah ㅋㅋ Let’s make it a 24-hour stream going forward~.]

Every word I said set the chat ablaze.

All the viewers seemed to be collectively venting their frustration.

"Ahem... Let’s start with a drawing, then. How about we pick today’s theme through a poll?"

Ah. I shouldn’t have said that.