Chapter 51

𝕾𝖔𝖓𝖌 𝖙𝖔 𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖓 𝖙𝖔: 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖙𝖊 𝖔𝖋 𝕲𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖊 𝖇𝖞 𝕿𝖆𝖞𝖑𝖔𝖗 𝕾𝖜𝖎𝖋𝖙

***

Slices of the wholesome rays from the shining gold in the sky landed on every corner of the room, illuminating the once-small space through prisms of unforeseeable nostalgia.

The warmth of painful memories kept their scenario at a distance where I could feel how reachable it was but if I touched it, I was afraid that it would break again, just like in the past when all the love I had for those around me disappeared right behind my eyes.

As I walked toward the path of that blinding light, my head didn't turn behind me even though, I knew and felt that some pieces of the road I was taking kept on falling into the distant abyss and the only way for me to be saved was follow that light, a mesmerizing light leading me to my own doom.

I was blinded then, but now that I've got to know a bigger frame for the portrait I want to paint in this life, I knew I would never be lost, not when my focus wasn't on the blinding light anymore but the meadow that was around that warm sensation.

"Will you want to be my friend and..." I paused and yet I saw his eyes reflect the whole room, and I could see how it stayed there even when I chuckled for the first time in the longest minute of my life.

"M-Milady, I am just a c-commoner unworthy of----"

"Who says that you're not worthy, Lexus?" I asked and I could see his soul reflected my endless stare into his mirror.

I touched his arms and led him closer to me. I leaned to his forehead and I felt the heat across his face, and how minty his breath was for a simple young man.

Again... soft chuckles escaped my mouth, but the sudden reminiscence of his life in my past became a distant and yet reachable labyrinth.

I don't want him to end the way he did in that lifetime, not when I have the option to change everything.

I see his mouth shut, but his eyes remain glued to mine. Second sonly passed but for me, it felt like it's an eternity to be able to touch the one simple friend I have that I wished who saved me from my misery but never did.

For he was a friend that disappeared before I got to meet that crimson blaze.

"And please, when we're alone, just call me Vestia. From now on, you will not only be my friend but also my personal butler..."

I didn't know back then, that choosing him as the closest to me, would turn something against the tides of plans I have created in my entire lifetime.

If only I knew then that I would keep on losing the friends I had because of a person I should have hated.

The sound of moving wheels leading towards the right path echoed within my ears, while the rustling leaves kept on colliding with the softest lullaby of nature.

I knew that the dazzling heat continued to creep against my skin as I continued to stare at the view outside, but the words that Lexus said to me kept on being engraved within the deepest portion of my mind.

Oblivious of the things that were happening and what was about to happen, right when he said those words, the light that once faded through the darkness dimmed my soul slowly lighting the abyss of the pandora's box

"It would be a great thing to follow the light, Milady. To me, you're that light, a blinding light that I could never be close to, because, for me, and the people here, we lived by the darkness. We are used to it, but your words kept me hoping that someday," he paused as he engulfed my hands with warmth and soft caresses.

His face speaks of gentleness that only summer lights could bring, a shine in his eyes that could never be dimmed nor faded away.

"We will live within the lights of hope, true hope for everyone's dreams..." his voice sounded fragile, like a soft glass that could be broken with one strong grip.

But just like he said, he and the people here are seeking light, but wasn't the empire, the imperial family giving them enough?

I wanted to ask why, what was keeping them in the dark, but when I finally decided to open my mouth back then, my sight that descended on his personage, sealed the voice I had.

"So Milady, even if you wanted to be friends and make me your personal butler, I'm afraid that we live in different worlds and that an ordinary person like me would never dare reach my dirty hands to noble's soft fairy hands..."

My ears became distant in the time that he tried to reach my hands to save someone like me, who never knew the ways of the world, back then.

But right now, when I already learned how cruel the world is, his words ring to my mind once more that there will always be division among the people within the empire.

That no one will be able to do what they wanted if the nobles or the emperor wouldn't agree to it.

Like once upon a time, there was a princess that lived only for the prince, but now I couldn't live without the people of this empire and not with him, anymore.

"So what if I'm a noble and you're just an ordinary young man? There's no law in the empire that a noble couldn't ask an ordinary person to be their comrade, right? Besides, even if you have the dirtiest hands there are in the entire world, I would still grab yours because mine was never clean in the first place. So that sums up that we're even..."

Yet, when I said those words to him, the vagueness, and walls that he had built came crumbling down like a sandcastle and all I could hear from then on was silent waterfalls from his own skies.

"Just promise me one thing..."

"Milady....?"

"Oh, yes Jack? Why?"

"We're already here in the household, Milady..." his voice sounded worried, but I managed to shut those wavering eyes when I waved my hands at him with curled-up lips.

After going to the market, I went to my household secretly and went out again with some excuses. This time, I tried to escape from reality and bought a lot of baking ingredients.

"Thank you again, Jack..." I went down the carriage with his hands guiding me down. The servants came, but the bright silhouette of the four people who would come and greet me with smiles appeared right in front of me.

Henry would come and mess up my hair, and then Claudius would claim his hands and glare at him. Right after, the two would bicker and Anna would slip me away from them, Sir Francis would try to calm the two young men's argument, but he would be beaten if he would always come in the middle.

Then I would say some words to Anna and we would both laugh at it, while we head to my room.

But now, it just felt as if the passing cold breezes came to be chiller than before. I could see the worries the maids make with their faces and I, as a person who went back in time, knew how to fake a smile.

I never did this thing when I first came here, but now that everything seemed to be changing, I couldn't avoid it.

Not, when my plans started to move, but my feelings wanted to stay in that distant meadow of everyone's shadow.

When I took my first step forward, I knew that I could never be my past self anymore. As if the road I'm taking now, was able to capture my shadow without falling but being sturdy to hold its ground.

It was a long night but I learned everything I could, from studying medicine to the Vellitas household to the secret doors within my household, but there's still something missing, my family's tradition.

It seemed that there was no such thing in the first place, or was it indeed hidden not here but somewhere else?

Shaking my head with those thoughts, the silhouette of a young man became my solace when all there is left of me was my shattered shell.

***

"M-Milady?"

I tried to cover his mouth and led him near a narrow alley. We were currently within the market where I should have had my carriage fee yesterday before I fainted and the place where we were was the area where I scented some blood but now, it felt like it was just a dangerous hallucination.

As I put both of my hands in between his head, I could see how my reflection from his soul widened, and yet, his mouth did the same thing.

Yet, the only sound I could was his rustling breaths as if he had run a few laps from a marathon.

"I knew I didn't get the answer I wanted last time but before I heard them again, here..." I handed him my own baked cookies which I only managed to do early this morning thanks to Rita and Anna's past lessons with me.

His gaze shifted from my eyes to my hands. I kept looking at him but he wouldn't even give it a try to claim when I looked at his hands, they were shaking.

I chuckled a bit but I immediately grabbed his hands and closed them.

"They're still warm"

"Yes, and I managed to bake them earlier today. Do give some for those adorable siblings you have"

I see him stare long enough at the cookies, and water falls from his eyes once more.

"Lexus, this time, I'm never going to accept your words before. Because even if you're an ordinary person, and I'm a noble, what difference does it make when we are just two people striving to live in this cruel world? So are you prepared to take my dirty hands as well?" I chuckled when I could see how shining his eyes were on my offered hands.

"Oh, and don't worry, I have a special place for your siblings and I know they will love the place with many children there...I also hope they'll be able to love Sister Cristine and how many times do I have to tell you, Lexus? Just call me Vestia, okay?"