Chapter 3

Akane couldn't remember the last time she was this excited to start working on a new look. Before, her only reason for keeping up her appearance was to avoid the prying eyes of her fellow students or the dreaded murmurs of pity. Now? Now she had a whole new reason for wanting to get 'dolled up,' as the Americans liked to say. Her darling Senpai. Akane simply couldn't wait to show him what she could do with a pallet and a brush.

The best me I can be. She repeated to herself, a noticeable bounce in her step as she walked up to the front door of her family home. This must have been how Tomoe felt most days.

Upon walking into the front door, she noted the heat was still off. Why her parents liked to keep it so cold in their house was beyond her. They may have been short on money, but didn't they understand they were sick? How was she supposed to take care of them properly if they kept it freezing all the time?

"I'm home!" she called into the den.

No response. They were most likely resting again. Just as well, Akane had a lot of work to do. So after turning up the thermostat by a few degrees, she ran to her room and shut the door. Looking around, she began to realize just how cluttered everything was. Books, manuals, and magazines were stacked in equal parts along the walls of her room, forming a pathway to her bed.

Reading was one of the few activities Akane genuinely enjoyed. Whether fiction or nonfiction, she loved diving into a good book and being transported to an alternate state of existence. One full of adventure and new things to learn about the world. Most of these were stolen from the school library or pilfered from bargain bins. Still, a decent portion of them was taken out of the recycling or found on the streets. It was amazing the sorts of things people would just throw away.

She moved a stack of firearm manuals out of the way and began rummaging through piles of dusty magazines. There were a couple of beauty magazines and cosmetology books around here somewhere. A refresher course on things like contouring and other applications would do her some good.

Once she'd found the appropriate study material, Akane began speed reading to refresh herself on pertinent information. Even with her eidetic memory, it was always good to go back and actually see the words on the page again.

Satisfied she had everything she needed, Akane began experimenting with her new makeup. She wanted to look perfect tomorrow for her Senpai, so the sooner she started practicing, the better.

After several failed attempts and a small break to scream her lungs out in the corner of the room, she finally started to get the hang of things. Before long, she had a look that she felt would be perfect for seeing him again tomorrow, perfectly contoured cheeks, smokey eyes, full dark lips; surely this would catch his attention.

Satisfied, Akane decided to do something she'd never considered before. She took a selfie and sent it to her friend Tomoe. Almost immediately after smiling and snapping the pic, she got a response.

:: Looking good, girl! ::

She giggled happily, bouncing up and down on her bed as she responded.

:: Do you think he'll like it? ::

:: Oh, I'm sure he will. ::

Akane was smiling from ear to ear again.

:: But... ::

Her smile slowly faded.

:: Simply being your best you on the outside won't be enough. Not for someone like Senpai. ::

Her anxiety began to ramp up again as she typed out her response.

:: So what do I do? ::

:: Everything you can. If your feelings for Senpai are genuine, you won't let anything stand in your way. ::

Akane contemplated her words. Another message appeared on her phone.

:: You love him, don't you? ::

:: Of course I do! He's the only thing I've ever wanted in life. He makes me feel...alive! ::

:: Then from this moment forward you must do everything you can to show your love for Senpai. ::

Akane's eyes grew wide with realization. She looked around at the cluttered mess that was her room. All of this would need to be changed. All of it! Tomoe was right! Looking pretty wasn't nearly enough.

:: From this moment forward, you do everything for Senpai. Okay? ::

She nodded, her breathing shaky as she responded.

:: Everything. ::

:: Then you'll dress for Senpai? ::

:: Yes. ::

:: You'll study for Senpai? ::

:: Yes. ::

:: You'll protect him no matter what? ::

"No matter what," she mumbled out loud, her eyes wide with excitement.

:: You live for Senpai. ::

:: I live for Senpai. ::

:: You worship Senpai. ::

:: I worship Senpai. ::

:: You love him with all your heart. ::

:: With all my heart. ::

Akane tossed the phone aside and collapsed back onto her bed.

"With all my heart..." she repeated, letting these feelings permeate her being. Akane began kicking her feet and squealing with delight like a little kid. She was so happy! For the first time in forever, Akane felt so unbelievably happy! Her heart was whole for the first time in her life, swelled to bursting. She never wanted this feeling to end. Never.

"Caleb..." she said his name aloud with a dreamy softness in her voice. A thought occurred to her at that moment, and she shot up from the bed. Akane quickly rummaged around in her school bag, finding the chopsticks he'd so carelessly thrown away. Why would her Senpai ever toss such a lovely memento? She'd use these chopsticks every day for the rest of her life.

No...no wait, she couldn't do that. She needed to preserve this memento. Akane needed to preserve this gift. The words of Tomoe rang in her mind over and over again as she cleared a space on her end table, placing the chopsticks down in the center.

"This is where it will begin," she declared, her voice shaking with excitement. "This is where it will all begin. Senpai...I love you."

Her heart swelled yet again. Akane felt inspired to do something she hadn't done in months, write in her diary. She hopped back onto her bed and grabbed the dusty old journal, flipping it open and reading through the older entries. They all said the same thing. Dear diary, today was a day like any other day.

The entries went back years. Finally, at long last, she was free of the monotony. Her life up until this critical juncture had been one long cacophony of gray. No more. At last, she could see the light again.

With pen in hand, she rolled onto her belly and began to write a new entry, kicking her feet carelessly in the air as she did so.

Dear diary, today I met the man I'm going to marry. His name is Caleb Barlow, he is my Senpai, and everything about him is perfect!

--

For as long as Akane could remember, she had always felt empty, incomplete. Like a part of her had been missing, something which left her hollow, dominating her life in a sea of gray. Because of this, she'd never been able to feel anything, not one clear identifiable emotion beyond contempt for the life she'd been forced to live.

Her parents were never there for her until they got sick and needed her anyway. She'd always been forced to work twice as hard as the other students. None of whom could even begin to understand the internal turmoil welling up within her. As far back as her memories allowed her to glimpse, Akane had always felt so cold and alone.

He changed all that. In the month she'd been following him, her Senpai changed everything, bringing warmth, life, and color into her world. He made her complete. Cured her, fixed her, saved her. How long had Akane been waiting for this? How long had she been silently dreaming of the one person who would make her feel complete? It was the only thing keeping her going, truth be told—her one reason for living.

At long last, she'd found him. Her one true love. Her Senpai, the one who filled her life with color and light. He was her escape from the cold, gray, empty world she'd been trapped in. The one she'd been waiting so patiently for. The person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

His name was Caleb Barlow, and he could not have been more perfect if he tried! Akane had learned so much about him over the month she began to follow his every move. Hard-working, talented, intelligent, everything she could possibly want in life and more she found in him. The teachers and staff all adored him, and why wouldn't they? Caleb was a model student in every sense of the word.

And so generous too! Akane had never met a man quite so thoughtful and giving as he was. Why, just the other day, she watched her Senpai offer one of his classmates a most thoughtful gift, a brand new handcrafted fountain pen, as congratulations for being accepted into the college of his choosing. She could have wept right then, and her need for subtlety was not so dire at that moment. He didn't know she was watching him from the bushes.

But he wasn't just smart, kind, or thoughtful, and also talented. Caleb liked to indulge in many different cultured hobbies. He was well versed in art, music, and literature. One of her favorite activities was listening to him play the piano in the school auditorium. Her Senpai was an honest-to-God virtuoso, and Akane could have honestly spent all day up in the rafters listening to the gorgeous compositions he would bring to life.

But his greatest passion by far was his cooking. Every day he would bring one of his homemade culinary masterpieces to school, and she always collected his discarded trash once he was done. Watching him inspired Akane to create her own art out of the discarded paper, napkins, and wrappers he would leave behind. The best pieces, however, would end up in the personal shrine she'd devoted to him.

She wrote in her diary every day now. Ever since awakening to her love for Caleb, Akane found she had more and more to add to each entry. Before, she wrote barely a line a day and had yet to fill a single journal despite writing in it for years. Now? She'd filled three whole journals in the span of a month, all of it with the daily life of her beloved Senpai. That was between all her drawings of them together, of course.

Her Senpai had forever changed Akane's life for the better. The only thing that scared her now was all these other people getting close to him. She tried not to let it get into her head. Caleb was a wonderful person, so it was only natural he'd have a lot of friends. But wasn't she enough? Akane's heart was bursting at the seams with her love for him. What more could he possibly want than what she had to offer?

And then there were the other girls...

She'd see them everywhere. The jealous little harlots. Clinging to his every word. Hanging onto him like a cheap coat. They'd flock around her darling Senpai in droves whenever he would sit down to play the piano, and it infuriated her to no end. Those private concerts were for her only! He needed space to perfect his art!

Akane wasn't blind. She could see the way they looked at him. They all wanted her darling Senpai. But not the way she wanted him. None of those hussies could appreciate him the way she did. They didn't know how many times a day he stopped by the water fountain or how long his restroom breaks lasted. Those girls didn't follow his every waking move during the times they could afford to and dream about him during the times they couldn't. To them, he was just a good 'catch.' Another pretty arm walking the halls for them to latch on to.

To her...he was everything.

Something needed to be done. At this rate, there was every possibility one of those jealous idiots would try to take him away from her. She wouldn't let that happen—drastic measures needed to be taken. No more slinking around, hiding in bushes, following his every move. It was time for her to take matters into her own hands.

She needed to confess her feelings for him.

It was the only way. The only way Caleb could be hers forever. Surely once he saw how deep her feelings truly ran, he would understand how much this constant attention from other girls was hurting her. Her Senpai would finally see how much he meant to Akane. She just needed to be honest. Then they could be together forever, just as the universe had intended.

She decided to write a letter, a confession written on pristine white paper in the prettiest red glitter pen she could find. The color of love, of passion. She would seal her confession in wax, make it look perfect from start to finish, the perfect words on the perfect canvas for her perfect Senpai.

Admittedly, this was a much more arduous process than she anticipated. Finding the right words to say was a trial unto itself. One filled with days of soul searching, quiet muttering, and only occasionally rocking back and forth on her bed. But eventually, with enough time, she found all the words she needed to say. Every emotion she desired to convey to him.

The next challenge was getting them down pristinely. Her message had to be in English, and it simply had to be. She could not risk anything getting lost in translation. For this reason, Akane had been painstakingly practicing her cursive writing. She must have gone through dozens of sheets of paper before getting it exactly right. With each failed attempt, she'd tear her words to shreds before screaming her voice raw until finally getting it right. She then placed her words in an envelope, sealing it with wax which she pressed onto the paper with her lips. Her love for him, sealed with a kiss.

It was perfect. Her true feelings were laid bare in as honestly and beautifully a way as she could possibly hope to convey. All the same, Akane was beyond nervous. Pouring her heart out to him like this would easily be one of the scariest things she'd ever done, for which the possibility of rejection filled her with such unyielding rage her only recourse was to consider it an impossibility.

He had to accept her; Caleb didn't have a choice.

Akane did the only thing she could think of to keep herself calm and prepare her for the big day at school. She lay on her bed and listened to one of her new favorite songs. Caleb was a huge fan of American jazz, blues, and soul music. She loved all the music her Senpai listened to. But it was this one piece, A Song For You, which she most enjoyed. Though first composed by artist Leon Russel, Akane personally preferred Donny Hathaway's version of the song. His smoother, more melodic cadence reminded her more of Caleb's voice and how he would sing whenever he played.

"Caleb..." she sighed wistfully while clutching the envelope tightly to her chest. "... you're talking about me, right? I know all those other girls are listening to you play. But they don't listen to your words the way I do. Those words are meant for me, right?"

She got lost in the gentle piano melody coming from her stolen MP3 player, her heart melting upon reaching her favorite line.

"I love you too. I love you in a place where there's no space or time. I love you for my life."

Akane giggled in a high bubbly voice before hopping off the bed and kneeling at her Senpai shrine. She saw this lovely Butsudan on a street corner and knew she simply must have it. The original owners, and whoever 'Hina' was, would have wanted her to find a better use for it than what they clearly had in mind.

It made the perfect shrine to hold her most valuable Senpai treasures. Most of what she collected was made into art which now decorated her room. But there were some items she'd collected that were simply too precious to do anything with but preserve in her shrine forever.

To begin, there was the very first photo of Senpai she ever took with the camera she stole from the school's photography club. She'd since taken over a dozen more just like this one, but the first would always be special to her as it was the only one she'd managed to take while he was smiling.

There were other treasures as well. Such as her jar of collected Senpai hair, carefully plucked from his desk. One of her favorites was the gym sock he'd 'misplaced' from his school locker. It hadn't been washed since the last time he wore it, and it would never be again if she had her way. Occasionally, when the urge overcame her, she would take it out of the shrine and breathe deeply, letting his scent permeate her being.

By far, however, the prize of her collection would always be the chopsticks he used to eat bento with on the day they first met. These were all sacred treasures of her Senpai, left behind for her to find, which would one day form the basis of their beautiful story together.

Akane kneeled at her Senpai shrine, clutching the letter to her chest and praying for him to return the feelings she'd written down so thoughtfully. At that moment, her phone went off. Akane stood up and checked her contacts.

:: We need to talk. ::

She stared down at her phone in confusion before responding.

:: Tomoe? What is it? ::

It took a minute, but she finally got her response.

:: I know you've been stalking Barlow Senpai. ::

A nervous pit formed in Akane's stomach.

:: What do you mean? I'm not stalking anyone, Tomoe. ::

:: Don't play dumb with me, Akane-chan. The other girls may not see it, but I've known you too long. I know the sort of girl you really are. ::

She gripped her phone tightly, rage beginning to boil within her. Another message appeared.

:: You can relax. I'm trying to help you. ::

She simmered down and responded.

:: Help me? ::

:: You're not the only one who loves Barlow Senpai. There's another girl at our school who has feelings for him. ::

And just like that, her rage began to build once more.

:: Who is she? ::

:: Her name is Sana Nijio, an upperclassman. They say she has a pretty massive crush on him. ::

She could feel the weight of the world come bearing down on her shoulders at that moment. The Student Council President had a crush on Caleb?! Akane's hands began to shake as she typed out her response.

:: Nijio Senpai likes Caleb?! Since when?! ::

There was an infuriatingly long pause before she got her response.

:: You two are on a first-name basis now? ::

Akane audibly growled before typing.

:: Your point?! Just tell me what you know! ::

:: It seems pretty serious. Word around the school is she's planning on asking him out today. ::

Her entire being came crashing down at that moment. Akane began to hyperventilate as she quickly typed out her response.

:: How do you know all this?! ::

:: You're not the only one who's been watching, Akane-chan. While you've been off getting lost in your new obsession, I've kept an ear to the ground for you. Nijio Senpai is your biggest competition by far. She's pretty much perfect for him, good grades, active social life, perfect body, oh and...word has it her family is extremely wealthy. ::

:: That spoiled princess doesn't deserve my Caleb! All she cares about is her reputation! He's a trophy to her! ::

:: I couldn't agree more, Akane-chan. All the same, if you're going to make your move, now would be the time to do it. ::

Her heart started beating nervously, and her cheeks flushed.

:: If you don't, you may lose him forever. ::

Upon receiving Tomoe's warning, she narrowed her eyes suspiciously at the screen.

:: Why are you helping me? ::

:: Does it really matter? I'm the only friend you've got at this school, Akane-chan. Rather than ask stupid questions, you should be focusing on what matters. Gaining Barlow Senpai's affection before Nijio Senpai has her way with him. ::

That was all the motivation Akane needed. She quickly stuffed her phone as well as the letter into her school bag and began her morning routine. Everything had to be perfect today of all days, so Akane spent extra time making sure her makeup was exactly the way she wanted it.

Once she was ready, Akane grabbed her school bag and headed for the door. As she passed by the living room, she heard her mother call out to her.

"Akane, is that you?"

She stopped at the front door and turned around. "Yes, Mom. I'm heading to school."

"Listen, your father's not feeling well again. If it's not too much trouble, could you stop by the pharmacy on your way home?"

Akane sighed in frustration. They wouldn't be getting so sick all the time if they'd just turn the heat up a little.

"Yes, Mom. I will."

"Thank you, sweetie. Have a good day at school!"

With a worried frown on her face, Akane opened the front door and left. Truth be told, she was worried for both her parents. As bright as she was trying to be, it was clear by her voice that her Mom was not doing much better. She also made a note to pick up a little extra medicine for her.

But that was an issue for later. Right now, Akane's only concern was winning the heart of her darling Senpai.