Chapter 3: Late Night Swim

Due to Dave being busier than ever the past couple of days and me trying to do everything in my power to continue avoiding him, while keeping my mind preoccupied, it felt like time was passing at an accelerated rate. By the time I had taken my head out of my ass, it was almost the first day of school.

On one hand I was excited. Between classes, upcoming senior activities and my final year of cheer, there’d be no room leftover for me to be heartbroken over the fact that my best-friend didn’t like me like that. He made it clear that he saw no problem with kissing me though. I honestly was hurt believing that he’d intentionally played with my feelings.

On the other hand, I just wanted to disappear from the thought of it. It was easier to avoid and not think about him when I didn’t bother to leave my house. For the first time in I don’t know how long, I had gone back into my parents homemade gym in the basement to keep the possibility of running into him down; and this time it wasn’t to clean. With my dad being home, and after a quick ‘I just don’t want to be bothered’ I knew I had someone running interference if he did try to come over. At least until I was ready to see him again.

At school would be different though. There was the chance that every time I turned around he’d be there. Not to mention, I’d made a promise to fix his lunch everyday for a week and I kept my promises. Eventually, more like in a few days, I was going to have to talk to him again; and there was nothing that was going to prepare me for that. I was pissed, but I couldn’t explain why I was so pissed without revealing my feelings.

Desperately trying to shake away the feeling that was growing over me, I got out of bed and put on some workout clothes. I had begun to tone up some due to the time when Dave had gone back to his hometown, but now with the back and forth avoiding, it was starting to show more now than ever. I even had abs forming. My thighs looked bigger and were more muscular. On top of that I was finally starting to grow into my teenage body. It was like I had gone from the smallest b-cup to a nice 36c overnight. My hips were spreading and I no longer could pull my pants up over my ass. I was sure of two things now.

Mom was going to be pissed about all the new shopping I had to do, and dad was never going to want to let me out of the house again.

The latter became even more apparent as I stared amazed at the new way my stretchy pants hugged my curves. I had never been more grateful for the aunt who sent me oversized sports bras than I was now. Once too big, now a perfect fit. If I had been more confident, I could do what Clarissa did and got over Dave once and for all.

.......................

“Dad! Hello, dad!” I yelled towel drying my hair after my shower. I had been down in the basement gym for nearly three hours before my stomach began to growl. I was in need of some heavy protein and craving steak tacos with a side of fries. I knew it would practically cancel out all the work I had done, because...you know the greasier the better, but I didn’t care. “Dad where are you?!” I yelled frustrated that I couldn’t find him.

“In the kitchen pumpkin.” He laughed. I groaned, throwing my towel on the couch. That man moved faster than most teenagers.

“Do you mind if I take the truck for-″ I paused in the middle of my sentence too shocked from the scene before me to continue. Sitting at the Island in his usual spot was Dave and the closer I got to him the more prominent the hickeys became. I was both jealous and pissed. His made a whole lot more sense now. “Um...s-sorry.” I stuttered trying to shake off the shock. “Dad, can I borrow the truck? I’m craving tacos.” I asked and the look on his face told me that I was not going to like his answer at all.

“I’m sorry Princess, I just got called in for work and mom already took the other car.” He grinned. “I’m sure Dave wouldn’t mind taking you though.”

“Well if I had my own car no one would have to take me and I wouldn’t need to borrow yours.” I snapped. I knew what he was doing. He knew I didn’t want to be around Dave and he hoped that little fact would make me just order in instead. He was wrong.

“Pay for half. That’s the deal.” He sang-song before kissing me on top of my head as I pouted. I wasn’t allowed to get a job during the school year and I hadn’t quite saved up enough from the two summers I had been allowed to work. The sound of his laugh echoing as he walked through the house proved that he thought he’d won.

“Hey Minnie.” Came his voice as I turned to face him again, a small smile on his face. “We still think alike.” He added as I rolled my eyes.

I was wearing the only pair of black skinny jeans I could still fit and they were still on the tight side. I had paired it with a white crop top that had one long sleeve and the other shoulderless. To complete the simple look I had on a simple pair of black hoops and some white wedges that had a single strap around the ankle. I hid my arm with my bracelet behind my back. For some reason I didn’t want him to see that I was still wearing it.

In usual fashion he was dressed similarly in a pair of black jeans, paired with a white long sleeve shirt and some white sneakers. I tried to stop my smile when I saw his matching chain lying flat against his chest. Both of our hair was damped and hanging down our backs. It was for the first time that I could see how much alike we really were. We wouldn’t look good together. We’d look like brother and sister next to each other, and it was wrong for a sister to have a crush on her brother...related or not.

“Or maybe we’re finally realizing just how much alike we really are.” I tried hinting at what was on my mind. I was tired of the back and forth and just wanted my friend back. I don’t know if he understood what I meant, but he didn’t say anything. “So....um” I cleared my throat. “Are you going to take me to get the tacos or not?” I questioned sounding a lot more aggressive than I wanted too. I didn’t care anymore though. To a certain extent, he’d earned and deserved my anger.

“Oh! Yeah come on.” I cocked my eyebrow at him confused over how he was acting. The further he got from me the more confused I got. He almost seemed hurt by my words; which made even less sense since he was the one covered in hickeys. “Minnie are you coming?” He asked, snapping me out of thoughts. I blushed as I rushed past him and heard him snickering behind me.

The car ride was of course awkward as we ignored each other. He was busy hiding his phone so I couldn’t see who was calling as he intensely stared at the road. Maybe it was the person who had given him all the hickeys and he didn’t want me knowing. I tried to ignore him and instead placed my headphones in my ears turning my music up as loud as it would go. Finally the car came to a stop as the taco place came into view. I pulled the headphones out and turned to wait for Dave.

“Go ahead. I’ll meet you in there. I need to return a call.” he sighed fidgeting with his phone. Whatever it was that was bothering him, he really didn’t want me to know. I had to respect it.

“Want me to order for you?” I asked ignoring the dozen of inquiries plaguing my mind.

“Yeah, just get our usual. We can eat here if you want.”

“Doesn’t matter to me.” I shrugged my agreement before getting out of the car. I was determined not to let my curiosity get the best of me. Any other time he would answer the phone in front of me. Or he’d get in this mood where he just wanted it to be us. No phones allowed. Things really were changing between us and it was the very thing that I had been trying to avoid.

Again, I wasn’t going to let it bother me...or least I was going to try not to let it.

“Welcome to may I take your order.” Came the voice of the cashier as I stepped up to the counter.

“Um...I want to place two orders. First I want six large steak tacos with only lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, hot peppers and sour cream. I want both the spicy green and red sauce. For my drink I’ll take a large grape juice. For my second order I want three large steak tacos same as the first ones; three large jerk chicken tacos with hot peppers, cheese and sour cream and a chicken and steak burrito plain. I only want the spicy red sauce for that one and for my drink an extra large orange juice.” I wanted to laugh at the cashier’s expression as she studied over my body. I didn’t blame her, if I didn’t know Dave and I, I would have the same expression.

“Will that be all?”

“Oh! Can I also get an extra large chicken nacho with added steak meat and the same thing on it as the steak tacos?”

“Sure...you’re total is $58.63.” She said as I handed her a hundred dollar bill. “And your change is $41.37. Thank you, here’s your ticket and I hope you enjoy your dining at .”

I tried to give a pleasant smile to the cashier before grabbing the ticket and turning to try and find a table for us to sit at. Seconds after finding the perfect one, our ticket number was called. I sighed as I looked at all the food I would have to try to carry by myself. What in the hell was taking him so long?

“Here let me help you.” Came a voice from behind me as I struggled to grab everything.

“Um, thanks. I haven’t a clue what’s taking him so long-” I gasped as I turned and saw John standing there. “Oh, hey.” I blushed embarrassed.

“Hey Maria, looking as beautiful as always. Here with Dave?” I nodded. “Well I’m sure he won’t mind me helping you. I can even keep you company until he joins you. If you don’t mind that is.”

“Why would he care?” I questioned, confused and ignoring the fact that he was hitting on me. Or trying horribly to.

“Aren’t the two of you like together or something?” he asked, catching me off guard.

“No! We’re just friends.” I blurted a little too quickly and a little too loud.

“Well that’s good to know.” He smiled a wide tooth-filled grin. “After you, gorgeous.” It took everything I had to refrain from rolling my eyes, but like I said before I needed to get over Dave. A little flirting wouldn’t kill me. Even if it was with some shallow male trying to prove a point for some unknown reason.

As soon as she was inside the restaurant, I answered yet another call coming through never letting my eyes leave her. Maybe I was imagining things, but she definitely looked more filled out than the last time I’d seen her and it only made me want her more. Had it been longer than I thought? Or had she become the embodiment of the term “Why are you continuously calling me Clarissa?” I snapped pissed that she was interrupting the time I finally had managed to get with Minnie. It had been a struggle just to catch a glimpse of her and now that I had her full attention I was being interrupted and I hated it.

“Oh quit it Davie. You know you miss me.”

“I’m busy right now Clarissa, what the hell do you want?”

“You.” She giggled.

“Look, it was just a one time thing-”

“You said that last time.” She sing-sang interrupting me. “And the time before that. Do I need to go on? It’s been a year of Davie.”

“Listen to me and listen well. I don’t want you. I will never want you. You are only good for a distraction-”

“And if you want that distraction to stay a secret from your sweet little Maria, .” She snapped as I groaned. “Bye Davie, I’ll be calling you with details soon.” Click. I sat there shocked as familiar raged filled me, but I wasn’t that person anymore. I knew it was a mistake to go there with her again, but I never thought she’d blackmail me with it.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” I screamed pounding my fists into the steering wheel. I hated that bitch and the fact that I so stupidly and selfishly got myself involved with her. By the time I managed to calm myself down enough to get out the car, I had an entirely new reason to be pissed. Why was John here? Why the fuck was he sitting with her? What could he possibly be saying that was so fucking hilarious? Why was it so fucking hard to just have a moment alone with her all of a sudden? Now I was pissed and jealous, but I had no right to be. I had brought this upon myself and now I had to deal with it. I knew one day other guys would start to see how beautiful she was, but I’d hoped that by then she’d already be mine.

I mean that I’d be ready for her to be mine. I wasn’t ready yet and I didn’t want to keep hurting her because of it.

“As you can probably guess, I’m going nuts losing my mind while looking for him. I mean they’re already so little. I can hear him barking and it’s kind of muffled so I know he’s either under something or closed up somewhere in the room.” He paused to take a sip of his soda as I tried not to choke on my food from laughing so hard. Anyone with small animals would understand our conversation and be laughing just as hard. “Anyways, I’m calling out his name and on the brink of tears. I can’t find him anywhere.”

“Where was he?” I asked after swallowing. I had been talking to John so long and having such a good time that I had barely eaten half a taco. I didn’t like that. I didn’t like feeling like I had to conceal my true eating habits because he was sitting across from me. I mean I was having fun and all, but I liked the comfortness I’d found with Dave. I didn’t feel like I had to eat how a girl was expected to eat with him. I could just be myself.

“He was on top of my pillow under a blanket on the floor in front of my nightstand.” He blurted as we both burst into laughter. I knew all too well the struggles of having small dogs. Especially when they’re only pups.

“At least he was okay.”

“Yeah, after giving me both a panic and heart attack.” He laughed quickly checking his phone after it vibrated with an incoming message. “Well I better go Maria. It was nice talking to you. I had fun.”

“Same.” I smiled a genuine one for a change. Maybe I had John pegged completely wrong. He really seemed like a nice guy and he cared just as much about his dogs as I did mine. I gave him my number happily after he asked.

“Bye.” He waved as he walked away. I waved back before going back to my food. Not even a second later Dave sat across from me looking frustrated.

“Everything okay?” I asked a mouth full of food.

“Yeah. Just a bit frustrating constantly having to repeat yourself over little things.” he spat.

“What happened?”

“Just my mom nagging about me not washing the two dishes I used. Like a bowl and spoon is really so much.” He rolled his eyes as he took a huge bite of his own food. His frustration was real, but his story sounded fishy. It was like he was forgetting that I knew his mom and how she was, but I shook it off. It wasn’t my business and whatever was really bothering him wasn’t my problem. If he wanted to tell me he would. “So what have you been up too Minnie?” He asked, his mood seemingly changing in the blink of an eye. I still wonder how he always manages to do it. If something bothered me, I couldn’t just turn it off like he could. It festered until it was ruining my life.

“Well...” I grinned.

.......................

“Give me a kiss!” We both sang at the top of our lungs while laughing. After our conversation at , we started feeling like normal us again. We were goofing off singing and laughing as we just drove around for a second before going back home. These were one of those weeks where our parents both worked long nights.

Days like these were spent together doing absolutely nothing besides being normal teenagers.

“Movie night?” He asked after turning the radio down once the song finished.

“Yes, yes. Fuck yes! We haven’t had one in forever!” I exclaimed blushing from how animated, and loud, I’d been. He just laughed as his hand found mines intertwining our fingers together. I just stared at the action.

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you this past week Minnie.”

“I think I have somewhat of an idea.” I breathed breathlessly. My heart was pounding in my chest and the butterflies were swarming. How could such a simple action affect someone so dramatically? The car came to a stop and I knew we had finally made it home, but I was frozen to my seat and couldn’t take my eyes off of our interlocked fingers. The urge was rising in me and I didn’t know if I had any fight left in me.

“I don’t know what’s going on with us lately Minnie, but...” he paused to grab my chin with his other hand forcing me to look at him. “But I do know that I don’t like it. I don’t want to fight with you anymore or at all. I never want to fight and argue with you.” Nothing he was saying was registering to me as I lost the battle.

My lips were on his before I could even blink as our tongues fought for dominance. Kissing him felt like being in a spring meadow overrun with flowers on a gorgeous day that was neither too hot nor cold, but perfect. Butterflies sprang from all around and the pond even had water lilies as fireworks exploded in the background and a herd of unicorns flew by. Kissing him was magical, beautiful, wrong and weird all in one, but damn I couldn’t stop myself.

His fingers entangled themselves in my long locks as I wrapped my arms around his neck bringing him closer to me. I could feel the moisture building between my legs as the kiss grew more intense. I wanted him in this moment more than I’d ever wanted anything.

Then we snapped out of it.

It was like we had been burned the way we jumped apart from each other both wide eyed and breathing hard.

“So...um....movies. Mines or yours?” I asked, unable to form a complete thought.

“Yours.” He replied. I nodded before jumping out the car and practically running towards my house. What the hell just happened and why did it feel so good? Why did it have me tingling all over with a goofy grin forcing its way on my face?

So many things were eating away at me. Common sense was so close to being thrown out the window. How could she kiss me like that and invite me over just to spend the entire time texting? It couldn’t have been anyone but John. I was her only friend and I liked it that way.

I liked the way that she talked to and confided in me and no one else. Something was bothering her and if I was smarter, or knew how to read minds, I could figure it out. Hell if only I had been paying attention to the right things, the nonsexual things, I could probably figure it out. There was something she wasn’t telling me and it was killing me not knowing. As hypocritical as it sounded, I didn’t like her keeping secrets from me... I never would.

Groaning I turned on my side and tried to ignore the glare of the light coming from her room. Her and John were probably still texting. Or maybe they’d moved on already to having legit phone calls. I could hear her raspy voice as she tried not to laugh at whatever stupid joke he’d made. Her tired giggle as she called him silly. She wouldn’t even know how good of a flirt she was because she was too clueless to realize it.

It made me physically sick just thinking about it. It wasn’t fair. She was mine and it already felt like I was losing her. I didn’t want to lose her. I was ignoring my feelings for the sake of keeping her to myself without the complications. I never expected John, although I should have. He used to ask about her a lot, and then he just stopped. Not able to take it anymore I grabbed my phone and like the desperate jealous person I was, I texted her.

I pressed send and it felt like an eternity before she finally responded back.

I can see her shrugging. She wouldn’t dare try to look me in the eye when she said that. Something really was bothering her and I was scared that she was going to try and push me out. I’ve seen it for the first time what she gets like when she pushes me away and I don’t want her to ever feel like she can’t come to me. I want her to know that I’m here even if it means just sitting in silence.

I smiled to myself as I jumped up to put my swim trunks on. I caught a glimpse of her running around her room and laughed to myself.

Maria was beautiful. She was still the quiet girl that I was lucky to meet by chance that first day here, but she was so much more now. Okay so maybe fate had some help in our meeting, but that was a story for another time. Still, I couldn’t get over who she was then versus now. Clarrissa’s words no longer affected her. The little rumors about her didn’t bother her anymore. She didn’t run from me when she was sad anymore. She didn’t try to hide her feelings. She was open and honest. She had grown into her confidence. She defended herself now. The person she was becoming was far more than I ever thought I’d get to see. Far more than I ever thought I would deserve to see. Maria saved me more than she would ever know and I was hoping that I could save her even if it was only a little bit.

I was in a bad place when we came here. I had no intentions of making friends with anyone. I was going to continue on lifeless and friendless for as long as possible. Be that silent dude in the back of the class that everyone wondered about. Then I met her. She needed someone as much as I did. We connected in a way that I hadn’t expected. We grew close and then like an idiot I caught feelings. I saw the beauty in her eyes even if they were glossed over with tears. I saw the pain in her heart even when it was pouring out nothing but love.

...I saw her.

I saw her clearly and that was why I began to fall for her. Her seeing me for me was what solidified my feelings for her. She was everything I ever wanted in a girl, but I couldn’t allow myself to go there again. It never ended well and it never will. As much as I loved her, I was only allowed to love her as a friend. It was the promise I made to myself and I wasn’t going to change that. No matter how many beats she made my heart skip just from hearing her voice alone.

.........................

It took everything I had in me to ignore what was going on in my mind. It was an unexpected confession for me, but now that I had admitted it to myself, it was like I no longer could ignore it.

“About time Mickey. I’ve been waiting out here for over ten minutes.” She spoke, bringing my attention to her. I paused in my movements. The moon glowed off of her skin like diamonds. It’s light reflecting from the water droplets dripping down her body. Her wet hair hung down her back in beautiful curly locs. She must’ve gone for a swim while waiting for me. Her caramel skin looked even more clear than I’d ever noticed. Her plump lips stretched into a smile as she threw her head back trying to wring out some of the water.

She was a goddess.

She was beautiful.

I didn’t deserve to be in her company. I didn’t deserve her and I was foolish to ever think that I did.

“So are you going to join me or not Mickey?” She smirked before jumping back into the water. The little vixen would never understand just how much of a flirt she really was. Just how much being around her and smelling her sweet scent truly teased me.

She was beautiful.

She was a goddess, my goddess.

Dave had been acting weird all night and I couldn’t pinpoint why. At first I thought it may have been because of the kiss, but then he showed up for movie night. Still he left in the middle of the second one. That was when I thought I may have been texting too much. Or maybe it was who I was texting over me actually texting, but there was no way he could have known. Still something had to be said. It was like we were walking on eggshells around each other and I hated it.

“Mickey?” I spoke barely over a whisper as we just waded on floaties in the water. The sky was beautiful. Unfortunately it wasn’t the clear sky we’d been hoping for, but there were still patches of stars to look at through the clouds. The moon was full and gloriously huge. It was a perfect night for floating on floaties in a pool with your best-friend whom you had feelings for.

“Yes.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Well, I think John asked me out on a date. I don’t really know anything about him though outside of the rumors and gossip at school. However, I was thinking that you might know more since you’re on the same teams. Maybe you can help me see the difference between fact and opinion. I know I can trust you. Do you think I should accept his invitation to hangout?” I hesitated as I waited for him to respond. I didn’t know if this was stepping over the invisible line that had recently been drawn, but it was bothering me not knowing.

I felt like my feelings were one sided here. I was confused and I wanted answers. If he pushed me to go out with John I’d know for sure that my feelings were just my burden to bear. If he fought it, there was at least some kind of hope of him feeling for me what I felt for him.

“I think you should go but tread lightly. Don’t call it a date if he’s saying you’re only hanging out. Don’t jump ahead of yourself without confirmation on anything.” He spoke. I sighed as I rolled off of the floatie and back into the water. At least this way if I started crying from my heartache he wouldn’t know.

A late night swim had been both a good and bad idea, but tomorrow was the first day of school. Something told me that it would be the beginning of the end of everything. I didn’t want to lose Dave, but I didn’t want to have to always ignore my feelings for him either. It was like we were headed towards losing each other anyways. Maybe friendships didn’t always last forever. People grow apart. They create more relationships...deeper kinds of relationships and the past just becomes the past.

At some point I would learn to branch out and Dave will eventually just become my past.

..................

It felt like I got no sleep at all and definitely wasn’t the way I wanted to be for the first day of school.

On one hand I was still excited. I couldn’t wait for cheerleading to start back with the vigorous regime we were used to at this point. It would allow me to finally ignore all the thoughts running through my head.

On the other hand, I was tired and drained from last night. Things had grown awkward and we just spent hours swimming and watching the stars. It was peaceful and calming, but the little voice in my head just wouldn’t shut up.

Still this was senior year, our final year and I was intent on making the most of it. I was excited about the senior activities that would come up and hoped I would have a date to enjoy them with. I was intent on not being just another outsider trying to look in this year. I was going to participate for once.

I knew Clarissa was going to try to make my life hell, but I felt prepared for her for once. It was clear that she wasn’t a fighter and if it came to it, I knew I could handle myself. Unlike her I wasn’t going to hold a grudge. If she wanted Dave, she could have him. He made it clear he only saw me as a friend.

Despite it all, this was going to be the best year. I smiled to myself as I gave myself a final once over in the mirror.

“You can do this Maria. You aren’t the same shy and quiet girl you were. You’ve grown.” I blew the sleeping pups a kiss before grabbing my things and heading downstairs to pack both Dave and I’s lunch. I might be hurt, but I was still a good friend and I was okay with sticking to our agreement for the week. As I worked I thought back on the summer. So much had happened in such a short amount of time. He had finally seen me in my worse and instead of running like I expected him too, he stayed and helped.

He was there for me like no one else had been before. He was the best friend a girl could ask for and that should have been enough, but it wasn’t. I wanted more, but I wasn’t going to push it. In the midst of my thoughts there was a knock on the door. I quickly scrambled around trying to finish up before packing it in two seperate brown bags and grabbing my things to go. The minute I opened the door, I was breathless.

As usual we were dressed alike, but he looked godlike in what he was wearing. I had on a yellow pleated skater dress that hung off the shoulders with a thick black belt that clasped around the middle of my torso. I paired it with a simple pair of black wedges, a pair of black hoop earrings and a black necklace. My bangles and bracelets varied between yellow and black and to complete the look I had on a gold watch with black straps. I thought I was cute, ...Dave was something else. He wore a simple pair of black jeans, an all black wife beater and a bright yellow button up that shone against his brown skin. On top of his head was a yellow and black fedora that covered his loose hair. It wasn’t until now that I really noticed how long his hair had gotten. To complete the look he had on a pair of the lastest black and yellow sneakers.

“You need a haircut.” I laughed as he rolled his eyes. “Besides this is happening too much to still be a coincidence. I’m starting to think that you really have found a way to watch me through my window. Or maybe you have a hidden camera I don’t know about, but will eventually find.”

“Well, you never know.” He teased grabbing my gym bag and his lunch from me as I adjusted my backpack on my back before locking the door as we headed to his car. On the drive to school we compared schedules and made plans to share lockers since they were side by side. We would use one for books and things and the other for our gym bags and coats. We had a few classes together including six period lunch and the last two classes of the day. This was definitely going to be an interesting year, and an extremely complicated one if I couldn’t find out what this weird thing between Dave and I was.