Chapter 2: Sometimes, Things Shift

The next couple of days I found myself making excuses so I wouldn’t have to be around Dave. I was both confused and mad at him for how things went down. My confusion wasn’t just because I couldn’t make up my own mind, clearly he couldn’t either. He was sending me all kinds of mixed messages and it was annoying me fast.

Or maybe it really was all in my head, proving even more that I needed a bit of mental space from him. It wasn’t really that unusual for us to take some time, but it was when it wasn’t being forced upon us. This time wasn’t because of trips, or our parents planning random family getaways, this one was on us. To make it worse, neither of us was trying to contact or be around the other. For me it hurt. Maybe I wasn’t as inconspicuous as I had thought.

Although I was curious, I had no idea what he was doing in the time we spent apart. I knew what I thought he was doing and the thought made me want to vomit; but he wasn’t mine to try and control. He could do whatever and whomever he wanted, especially if it turned out to be true. Even the dogs knew we needed some time apart. They hadn’t barked once this past week, but they did whimper at the window whenever they saw him. A few times I had caught him sitting there just watching them back, but he always left when he saw me. The first few times it happened, it had made me cry. It couldn’t have been more clear that he was avoiding me.

However, the dogs had officially had enough of us and was making it known as they barked loudly. I grabbed my phone just as it started ringing. I didn’t bother to check the caller ID, I already knew who it was.

“Hello?” I answered groggily.

“Hey Minnie.” he sighed.

“It must be ten o’clock and you probably can hear the alarm. Sorry, but I don’t know how to turn it off anymore.” I joked turning on my back as a large yawn escaped me.

“How about we take a shower, meet up and take them for their usual afternoon walk? We can even stop and get some lunch. My treat?” he sounded so hesitant; like he thought I might say no. I felt bad. Maybe I was overreacting and he didn’t deserve to be getting treated how I was treating him. I didn’t want him to start thinking that I hated him, that was the furthest thing from the truth. Still, I didn’t want him finding out the truth for my hurt feelings.

“Um...sure Mickey. That sounds like fun.” I sighed fighting back the urge to smile.

“Want to meet back up in say...um… a little over an hour or so?” he asked. For a second I hesitated before taking a deep breath and calming myself. I was getting too excited. It wasn’t like he was asking me out on a date. We were just two friends going to hangout.

“Sure.” I replied, getting ready to hang up.

“Wait!” he shouted, shocking me. “Sorry! Sorry, I didn’t mean to shout. Just wanted to know if I could come and get Cocoon for a second. Let the boys get ready together for once. I even bought him some stuff. Well, I bought them all things, but he’s my boy.” I tried to stifle a laugh as I rolled my eyes.

“Sure Mickey. I know that I can trust you.” I smiled. A few minutes later I was still in bed as he came and grabbed Cocoon, told me to get dressed and took my dog back with him. I only laughed harder seeing no problem with it. I knew he loved them too much to even think about hurting one of them, no matter what was happening between us. This time apart gave me time to think. My mom was right. I had been unfair to him that day. Clarrissa was the one who had hurt Cocoon, not him. About an hour later and I was still running a bit late. I was showered and had dressed myself, Butterfly and Caterpillar; but my hair was being weird and my make-up was taking forever.

“Minnie?!” he yelled just as I heard the back door close.

“I’m still upstairs! My hair is being stupid!” I whined sticking my head out of my room before going back into my personal bathroom attached to it. I, myself, had on a black pencil skirt with a pretty white blouse tucked into it. As usual my bracelet was on my wrist and I just hoped he was still wearing his chain.

“Hello beautiful. I missed you.” came his voice from behind me as he wrapped his arms around me making me jump. I hadn’t even heard him come upstairs. I tried to relax myself as I leaned back against him. There was no point in overreacting to the physical contact and compliments. It was simply how we’d always been. I smiled at our reflection liking how we looked together. I was filled with relief as soon as I saw his chain hanging around his neck.

“I missed you too.” I confessed and honestly I felt better for it. He smiled before placing a kiss against my cheek and going to sit on my bed. I tried to ignore the butterflies in my stomach as I felt one of the dogs trying to get my attention. I looked down and immediately burst into laughter seeing Cocoon in a cute little tank top for dogs.

“I told you Minnie, no matter how much time we spend apart we always seem to still think alike.” I tried to hide the blush on my cheeks as Butterfly and Caterpillar came back into the room and I finally finished both my hair and make-up.

“That’s it. Come on and sit down. This is too cute to pass up.” he grinned, patting the space next to him on my bed. I shook my head no trying unsuccessfully not to laugh as he started pouting. He too had on black jeans with a black white beater and a white button up that was of course left opened.

“Please Minnie? Come on, we can make it like a family picture kind of thing.”

“Yeah, that would only work if we were actually a family.” I teased, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t notice the little drop in his shoulders. What was with him lately? Or was I seeing things simply because I wanted to? Was I unintentionally hurting his feelings because I felt like he had destroyed mine?

“Let’s just pretend. Nobody loves these dogs more than the two of us. We’ve all been together since they were pups and we have nothing to commemorate the time. So, let’s pretend and take a picture. You can be the mom, I’ll be the dad and of course they’ll be our babies.” I sighed feeling my face heat up at what he was saying, but I couldn’t bring myself to say no to the pleading and hopeful look he was giving me. I had to start acting normal again. I needed to put the personal shit to the side and just enjoy hanging out with my friend.

“Fine.” I sighed sitting next to him before putting the dogs on the bed with us. His grin widened as he took his phone out and flipped the camera so that it was facing us. My entire body felt like fire was coating my veins as he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I really didn’t need physical proof of my feelings for him captured on camera for him to use against me and I wasn’t sure I could school my face into not giving me away.

I could feel my blush and to my surprise when I looked up, he was blushing just as much as I was. Things were definitely awkward now after his finger slipped and he took a picture of us just staring at each other. It took awhile for us to snap out of it before we were goofing off and laughing as we finally got into the groove of things. There were even a couple of us kissing each other’s cheeks with no awkwardness there at all. After many pictures and cramps from laughing so hard we finally headed out to take the dogs for their walk, deciding to drive to get food later after we brought them back.

The walk brought about a comfortable silence, but it wasn’t long before Dave started asking questions.

“So...why do you have so many dog leashes Minnie? It’s a little creepy how you always coordinate them to us if I”m honest.”

“Well honestly no one asked you.” I teased as he rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at me. “No, seriously though, I really don’t know. It’s just something that I’ve always done once I was old enough to start walking the original Caterpillar by myself. Besides, no one asked you to coordinate with us, but you won’t stop looking in my window.” I laughed as he rolled his eyes and softly shoved me.

“So you’re saying you’ve always been a special little weirdo?”

“No, I’m saying fuck you.” I spat as he shook his head laughing at me. I really should’ve expected a comeback. We continued the rest of our walk in silence as we finally reached the doggy park. To my surprise it was mostly empty. It wasn’t quite an unusual walk for us, but we had definitely taken a different route to get here. No wonder our walk felt longer than usual. When my heels finally hit the grass, I let the dogs off of their leashes to do whatever they wanted as Dave and I went to sit on a nearby bench. Surprising to no one, they followed us instead.

“Minnie, can I apologize?” he asked, breaking our silence.

“Sure.” I shrugged. “For what?”

“For how I left a week ago. I felt terrible after that and although I wish I could explain it, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I just don’t want to look-”

“Hey Maria!” yelled John walking up from behind us and interrupting our conversation. John was someone I had known from school and he only ever talked to me the few times we ran into each at the dog park. He was on the football and basketball team with Dave. He had a little herd of his own filled with Chihuahuas. I never knew why he talked to me, but he seemed nice and often reminded me of someone so I didn’t really mind it too much. However, he’s never bothered me while I was with Dave before. Dave looked at me with the same curious and confused expression I had. “Oh shit, what’s up Dave? Didn’t see you there.” he laughed as they did some weird kind of handshake only those on the football team knew.

“Nothing much just chilling with Maria.” he shrugged, but there was a hard edge to his tone that I was sure I was the only one picking up on. Whatever he wanted to tell me was clearly important and John had ruined the moment.

“They’re so cute.” I cried trying to ease the tension. “Caterpillar, Butterfly, Cocoon come here guys. Want to make some new friends.”

“I thought Caterpillar died.” he retorted as I tried to ignore him. I didn’t know him like that for him to know that. Why would even bring that up?

“She did. This is Caterpillar Jr.” I deadpanned as he mouthed a silent ‘oh’ as he and Dave exchanged a few more words, mostly about the upcoming season. I tried to ignore them and not eavesdrop as I got better acquainted with the pups.

“Well, I better be going. It was good seeing the both of you, and Maria?”

“Yeah?” I asked confused and caught off guard.

“You look beautiful today.” he smirked as I felt my cheeks heat up as I blushed and looked at the ground. I mumbled a thank you as he chuckled and walked away. Dave was watching me with curious eyes, but I was confused as hell.

“Well Minnie, I don’t know about you, but I’d say someone has definitely started to like you.” he said watching me carefully as I began clipping the leashes back on the dogs.

“I don’t think so. That was more weird than anything. Let’s just go. Besides, he’s not really my type.”

“What is your type, babydoll?” he teased, throwing his arm over my shoulders. I could still see John in the distance, but I ignored that. I wanted to tell him that he was my type, but I ignored that also.

“I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I guess I like guys that are legitimately sweet and interested in me. Not those who are only doing it because they feel like one guy has been getting her attention too long. You know the rumors as well as I do Mickey. He’s not really interested in me. He’s just trying to see what keeps you around and if it’s what everyone thinks it is. Anyways, nevermind them. Do you still want to go get lunch?” I asked silently hoping he would just ignore what happened and say yes, but he was hesitant.

“I’ve lost my appetite, but I can still take you. It’s still my treat.” he finally replied. I could’ve left well enough alone, but I kept pushing it.

“Do you want to come over and hangout afterwards then? We can watch movies on my new sixty two inch.” I tried tempting him.

“Tempting, but not today Minnie. Maybe next time.” I only nodded as we continued walking in silence. Once we got back in, I put out food and water for the dogs before meeting up with him by his truck. He took me to get a slushie, tacos and cheese fries and then he dropped me back home.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” I nodded my head yes before he pulled me into a tight hug and even kissed my forehead before crossing that familiar path back to his house. I didn’t quite understand what just happened, but I swear it felt like I’d done something wrong. I didn’t see him at all for the next two days. This was definitely the most we had gone without each other’s presence since I met him. Even when we argued I’d still catch glimpses of him here and there, but this time nothing. He’d become a ghost.

To make matters worse, a few nights I’d gotten into a fight with my mom and it was a bad one. She noticed that Dave hadn’t really been coming over and thought that I was still avoiding him. She never let me explain and no matter how much I tried to, she just wasn’t trying to hear me. I’d never seen her so upset before. It was like I wasn’t even her daughter. She’d hurt me with her words and she didn’t even care. I’ve been in bed since and no one has even bothered to see if I’m okay.

That’s a lie. David has been calling and texting me like crazy today, but he’s never seen me like this before and I didn’t want it to start now.

I whimpered as her words played over in my head on repeat. I felt like a burden to her and I hated it. It wasn’t my fault that the other kids didn’t like me. It wasn’t my fault that I only had one friend. I tried to make more, but Clarissa made sure it was a task nearly impossible of completing. It wasn’t my fault that I never went on dates. Clarissa was the one in charge and what she said went. Everyone was too worried about their social status instead of being decent people. It wasn’t my fault that I wasn’t living the life my mother constantly boasted about to anyone who would listen.

It broke me knowing that she thought I was a failure at being a normal human being. Just because she and dad were popular in high school didn’t guarantee that I would be too.

She didn’t even give me a chance to explain that it was him who was avoiding me now. She just went off on a tangent and it was then that I learned what she really thought of me. So I locked myself in my room, and with my father being gone on another business trip I knew no one would bother me. Needless to say, things just weren’t the same anymore and I hadn’t been right in my own head. First everything that was going on with Dave, then John being weird and now this. School was now officially a week away and it was going to be hell for me because I’d punched Clarissa. Add in the workload it was going to be between my AP classes and cheer practice and yeah a bad case of anxiety and insomnia induced depression began setting in.

I usually would be staying up late, spending the night out in the backyard playing with the pups or watching the stars from the porch swing with Dave on side of me. I could’ve been watching my most favorite movies with my best friend as we threw popcorn at each other. Instead I was exhausted with a total of at least two hours worth of sleep for the two days combined. I felt alone and I felt unwanted. I groaned throwing the cover over my head as my phone started ringing again, but I ignored it. I didn’t want to be bothered. As much as I wanted to talk to him, I didn’t want him to see me like this.

I buried myself deeper in my covers just as there was a knock on my door. Thinking it was my mom finally coming to apologize I barely managed to mumble a quick ‘come in’.

“Minnie, I have been trying to call you all day.” Started Dave with a large smile on his face... Until he saw how depressed I was. “What’s wrong Minnie? Are you okay?”

I wanted to yell at him that I wasn’t and how it was all his fault, but I didn’t have the energy for it. Right now I wouldn’t survive another argument.

“I got into a fight with my mom a few days ago. I haven’t been able to really sleep or anything since. I’ve gotten less than two hours to be exact.”

“Is this only because of your mom, or is it because of me too? I know that I’ve been m.i.a. these past couple of days and I’m so sorry Minnie. I was just busy.” He was sounding panicked again and I didn’t like hearing him like that. Sighing I gathered as much strength as I could and only managed to remove the cover from being completely over me.

“It’s not because of you Dave, I do have a life outside of you.” I snapped. “I’m sorry, I just get like this sometimes. I wasn’t answering your text and calls because I didn’t want you to have to deal with it. Plus I didn’t want anyone bothering me.” I didn’t bother to finish what was left on mine. I was torn between asking him to leave so I could cry and relieve the tension off my chest or just saying fuck it and breaking down in front of him. I did miss him, but my feelings were so confusingly heartbreaking and I was too vulnerable right now. I could feel myself pushing him away and thought that he could feel too, but to my surprise he was taking his shoes off before crawling into bed on the side of me.

“Come here Minnie.” He barely whispered, opening his arms out to me. I could feel a faint smile on my face as I scooted closer and laid my head on his chest and yawned. He instantly wrapped his arms tight around me pulling me tight against him making me feel safe, loved and secured. I couldn’t help nestling into him more. “Comfy?” He teased sounding a bit amused as I nodded my head yes. “So, what do you want to do?”

“I’m a bit tired.” I confessed.

“Then we’ll nap, okay?”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it Minnie. Just close your eyes and rest.” I did as told as he began to slightly rock us back and forth. I smiled to myself as I tried to snuggle into him a bit more. Before I knew it, I was fast asleep.

By the time I woke up again, my heart melted at the scene. I was cuddled up with Dave, who was still sleeping soundly, with the pups sleeping around us on the bed also. I was warm and didn’t want to move. I was still feeling down, but I’d be lying if I said Dave hadn’t helped some. Checking my phone for the time, I jumped up seeing that it was well after nine o’clock. He actually slept the day away with me. My heart was overwhelmed with feelings and fluttering more than I could take. I took my time to study him as he slept. Even now, he looked worried. The only time I’ve ever seen his features relaxed lately were when the dogs were around. It made me wonder if it had something to do with what he was going to tell me at the park.

“What time is it?” He answered groggily, scaring the hell out of me.

“Oh...um, it’s a little after nine.”

“Wow. Guess we really did sleep the day away.”

“Kinda.” I giggled making him smile.

“It’s good hearing your laugh again.”

“Flirt.” I blushed as I rolled my eyes. “Anyways, since you’re up do you want to go half on a pizza. We can get meat lovers.”

“Fine with me.” He shrugged. “Only if we can watch TV too. Then I have to go love. You can’t just kidnap me for the day and think I’m okay with it.”

“You’re so weird Mickey.” I laughed as I whacked him with a pillow a few times.

“I’m just glad I can make you smile.” He deadpanned making me stop my attack as I just stared at him. “I like the happier you better Minnie. I worry less.”

“You mush.” I blushed as I looked away from him. He only laughed before grabbing me and sitting me on his lap as I ordered the pizza. About thirty minutes later I was relaxing on his lap with my eyes closed and heard my door open.

“Ya’ll pizza is here. Showed up when I did.” My dad’s voice came amused with his own joke. I wanted to hug him hello, but Dave’s hold had tightened on me. “I already paid for it. My way of saying thank you.”

“For?”

“I talked to my daughter all the time, son. It killed me not being here for her this once, but the fact that you are even in here proves you were able to get to her. So thank you for being here with her when I couldn’t be.”

“I’ll be here anytime she needs me sir. She keeps me grounded.” I don’t know what happened after that, but there was a pregnant pause before I heard my door close again. “I meant what I said Minnie. Anytime.”

“I know Mickey, I know.” There was another pregnant pause before he spoke again and when he did his voice was an octave deeper.

“Do you know how much I like you?” He asked as I smiled.

“I like you too Mickey.” I didn’t know how much we were confessing, but I knew it was a lot. It was confirmed when he grabbed my chin and lifted my head up to kiss me. His lips were warm and soft against mine as I tried to transfer everything I felt for him through the kiss. Never had anything been so perfect.

“I like you so much Minnie, but I can’t like you. I’m sorry.” My heart broke as I removed myself from my current position and sat back on my bed. I stayed quiet as I stuffed my mouth with pizza to keep from crying. Who does stuff like that?

I was tearing myself a new one after I left her house. I made things worse. I always make them worse. I shouldn’t have kissed her. I shouldn’t have said a damn thing. I shouldn’t have gone over there. I should’ve continued to just act like her friend. I tried to tell her the truth, I really did, but all she did was misunderstand me and shut down.

She stayed silent after that and when I suggested that I just leave she didn’t protest it. She didn’t disagree. The look on her face told me she wanted me as far away from her as possible. I would be lying if I said it was just the spur of the moment. I’d wanted to do that ever since John approached her. I let my own jealousy get the best of me and wanted to be the first to kiss her. No one else deserved it. I barely did. Groaning to myself I did the last thing I thought I was going to have to ever do again.

I pressed send as my stomach churned into knots. Maria would hate me if she knew what I was up to after leaving her. I didn’t want to push her away completely, I just wanted my best-friend back without all the complications. Without all the feelings getting in the way. I just wanted to be us again and I was ruining that by getting jealous. I knew eventually guys would begin to see how awesome, beautiful and amazing she really is. I just wasn’t prepared for it to happen in front of me.

I was disgusted with myself. I knew she would perceive this the wrong way, she always did; and maybe I was an asshole for going about things this way, but what else was I supposed to do. It wasn’t like I could do what I wanted to do to the person I wanted to do it too. She made it clear we were just friends and I made it clear that was all I wanted to be. That kiss was a fluke on my part. I read too much into the situation and made a fool of myself. She didn’t even have to verbally reject me. When she moved off of my lap and got quiet it told me everything.

Getting into my car I drove the twenty minutes it took to get to Rissa’s house. It wasn’t surprising to find her waiting on the doorstep for me.

“Hey baby.” She cooed wrapping her arms around me and planting her lips forcibly against mine. It took all I had not to push her away. The kiss was cold as if she’d eaten a cup of ice only. It was rough and hard and not at all pleasurable. There was no loving emotion or passion behind it. It made me miss the warm softness of Maria’s lips. Her kiss was completely lust filled and made it clear she knew why I was here; but isn’t that what I wanted?

“Don’t talk.” I spat after she finally pulled away. “Let’s just get this over with.”

“Someone’s eager. Little Maria still isn’t giving you none? I didn’t think she was anyways. Rumors are rumors for a reason.” She laughed as I narrowed my eyes at her. “Fine. Fine. I won’t bring her up again. You better be worth it.” She spat as I rolled my eyes. She knew damn well I was worth it.

“How about you just don’t go around fucking blabbing this time? This stays between us. Understood?”

“Got it. Can we go fuck now?”

“It’s your house. Lead the way.”

“Oh please Dave. Stop the games. You know where my room is.”

Why did I even bother coming here? I was already regretting that decision. I just hope Maria didn’t find out about this. I couldn’t lose her. I needed her more than she would ever need me.