Chapter 1: Awakened

I groaned as my unwanted alarm went off. For the past year it has become something I’ve learned to get used too. It became a little easier once I knew the reasoning for it. It going off right now could only mean one thing. Picking up my phone I checked the time to see that it was only ten in the morning. Now I was more sure than ever that I was right about their sudden need to wake me after a month of much needed relaxation. Without uttering another word I dialed the number I knew by heart now and wasn’t surprised when he picked it up almost immediately after the first ring.

“Good morning Sunshine!” he chirped as I groaned.

“Micky I hate you, why didn’t you warn me that you’d be coming home? I would’ve gone to bed earlier.” I spat teasingly.

“I always forget how much I rile them up Minnie.” he half laughed, half whined. I rolled my eyes as I sat up. Welcome back to the world of annoying boys next door and loud dogs.

“Well, I’m pretty sure you can hear it now. Raise your window and let it sink in, never forget it again.”

“Well dramatic, want to meet in your backyard. I missed them, you and your bedhead.” he teased as I blushed my hand flying to cover my hair as if he could actually see me.

“Jerk. I’ll be down in ten.” I sighed finally getting up and stretching my joints.

“See you then.” he laughed before hanging up. I rolled my eyes before opening my door to let the suddenly energized out. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited to see him. It had been nearly a month since we’ve hung out and I was having a serious case of withdrawal from my best-friend. I missed him a lot more than I expected too and although I complained, hearing the special alarm alerting me to his presence made me happy.

I jumped surprised before bursting into laughter as I headed over to the window to see that he was already leaning out of his.

“Idiot you scared me!” I yelled, still giggling as he just smiled at me. “You are such a goofball Micky.”

“It’s one of my best qualities and I’m sure it’s what you love most about me.” he grinned. I found it amazing that even after a full year and then some, those luscious plump pink lips stretched over perfectly aligned pearly white teeth could still knock me breathless.

“The only thing that I love about you Mickey is that you buy me pizza.”

“Ouch! You wound me bad Minnie. You wound me bad.” he teased as I giggled to myself. Before either of us could utter another word the dogs were back and they were louder than ever. I swear it’s like they can sense whenever he’s around or if I’m talking to him. I don’t know if I like it or not.

“Caterpillar, Butterfly and Cocoon you know better!” I chastised them. “Use your inside voices or you’re going to live with him.” I threatened. They all gave me puppy eyes as if they understood my threats and believed me and immediately I felt bad. I would never let them leave me. I loved them too much. “I’m sorry.” I cooed giving each of them a loving scratch behind the ears. I looked up to see that Dave was laughing at me while shaking his head. “Oh shut up.” I whined before sticking my tongue out at him.

“You’re all jelly when it comes to them. Anyways, since this is partly my fault, how about I make it up to you all. Instead of meeting up in your backyard we can take my truck for a little drive and get some food. My treat. My little way of apologizing for making them so rowdy.” I pretended to think about it for a moment before just laughing and shrugging my shoulders.

“Who am I to pass up free food?” I laughed. “Meet you in an hour? I can smell your stink from here.”

“Fuck off.” he spat rolling his eyes as he flipped me off. “By the way, you’re gorgeous with bed head.” then he was gone. I groaned pissed with myself that he’d gotten the last joke...again. I sat there fuming as he took his sweet time laughing at me before closing his curtains and blinds. Asshole.

He irritated me to no end sometimes, but I had to admit, I never stopped smiling when he was around. I had a hypothesis as to why that was, but it was absurd. He was my best-friend and you can’t fall in love with your best-friend. Especially when it’s been made clear that they don’t feel the same. Besides I still needed more time to… Shaking away the thoughts I grabbed my things and headed for a shower.

Thirty minutes later I was freshened up and ready to head out. My hair was pulled back into a semi-neat, semi-messy ponytail at the back of my head. I was wearing a pair of slightly faded high-waisted pink jean shorts that hugged my wide hips perfectly with a black tank top tucked into them. After dressing the dogs in matching colors to my own outfit I went in search of shoes. Now I know most girls complained about heels and how much they hurt their feet, but I loved them. After careful consideration, I settled on a pair of black pumps. Taking a second to look over myself in the mirror, I added a pink bracelet and a pair of black hoop earrings to complete the look.

Finally, after feeling like I kept him waiting long enough and approved my look, I headed downstairs. I grabbed us both a bottle of apple juice before grabbing my keys and wallet and walked out the front door. Unsurprisingly Dave was in his driveway leaning against his truck in a pair of black jean shorts with a black wife beater and a pink button up which he’d left unbuttoned. He had on a chain that was similar to my bracelet (we’d bought them together). I rolled my eyes as he gestured to our outfits. Over a year later and still I wasn’t used to this freak coincidence of us dressing alike.

“So what do you have in mind for the day?” I asked handing him the other juice. I watched the muscles in his throat as he swallowed before he just shrugged.

“I don’t know really.” he sighed. “Do you feel like just driving around and enjoying my company?” he asked. The look on his face showed he was desperate for me to just agree. Something was clearly bothering him and although I didn’t want to push I was curious to know. Any time he came back from visiting his grandparents, he had the same aura around him as he has now and I didn’t like it. He seemed anxious. Almost paranoid in a way.

“Doesn’t really matter to me as long as I get free food out of it.” I joked as he laughed.

“Come on then fatass, get in the car.” he cheered, opening the door for me as I, once again, rolled my eyes. “It’s good to see that no matter how much time apart we spend, we still think alike.” he grinned once again referring to how we were dressed.

“It scared me then, it scares me now.” I replied.

“Well, my love, it’s time you get used to it.” he closed the door as I sat back and tried to decipher what the weird heart thingy that just happened when he said meant. What was it that happened and why did it happen over something he’s called me a thousand and one times. Trying to ignore the weirdness of my own mind I waited until he was settled in and driving before I spoke. He seemed dazed as he reached out to hold my hand lying them mostly on his lap. I just stared.

“So what was it like being back home?” I asked as he unconsciously rubbed his fingers across the top of my hand. I gulped trying hard to steady my breathing and hoping he wouldn’t notice that butterflies were having a party in my stomach because of him. He shrugged his shoulders, but I could see the same hesitation in his eyes as always when his hometown was brought up. I respected that it may be because it was something that he didn’t want me to know, I had a few of those myself.

“Same as always Minnie, boring. Everyone knows everyone and everything still. It still is a frustrating and annoyingly irritating thing not having any kind of privacy. Know what I mean?”

“Um...Mickey did you forget that I am an only child who was so lonely and emotionally unstable that my parents got me not one but three dogs to be able to cope so I wouldn’t bother them so much.” I joked even though a lot of it held truth. I had become physically lonely and isolated, I always felt that way. I was shocked. I hadn’t noticed how comfortable I had grown with him in such a short amount of time, but it was clear he understood me. He knew I was a loner and he loved me for it...as a friend of course.

“You are truly one of a kind Maria.” he smiled to himself. “Truly one of a kind.” My cheeks began to burn from the compliment. Although blushing around him wasn’t unusual, it somehow felt different this time and I didn’t like it. Whatever feelings that were deciding that they needed to surface, were going to be swallowed back down and ignored. I didn’t need nor did I want anymore change in my life. Just being his friend was enough of a change for me.

“So are you Dave.” I whispered. “Maybe that’s why we think alike so much. Together we are one of a kind. Together we are uniquely us.”

“Maybe,” he responded before lacing his fingers through mine. Just like the first time I met him, I felt as I swallowed my tongue. Thankfully he didn’t try to start up conversation again as we continued to drive. I only spoke once more to tell him what I wanted to eat and that was it. I had begun to crave more from him and I knew what that more was, but I didn’t want to believe it. It shouldn’t have been possible.

I couldn’t believe that I had fallen for him and didn’t notice. What could have possibly awakened these feelings? Did I really miss him that much? Watching as he shoved the burger in his mouth followed by a handful of fries, I realized that yes, I had. I missed him more than I thought was possible to miss another human being. I wasn’t going to lose him because of feelings I still didn’t quite understand nor want and had every intention of ignoring them. He didn’t need to know. Not now, not ever.

By the time we pulled back into his driveway after one final stop at the ice cream shop, it was already well past six o’clock. Maybe we had been in an air conditioned car for too long, but I swear it felt ten times hotter than this morning. Immediately it felt like my clothes were sticking to me. There was no way in hell it should’ve been this hot and sticky at six in the evening.

I groaned as my cone started to melt in my hand. Great, now my hands were going to be as sticky as I felt.

“You have to lick it faster Minnie. That’s the only way to stop it from oozing.” he said in a duh tone as I raised my eyebrow at him. From the way the perv was smirking and the mischievous little twinkle in his eye I knew his words had a double meaning. Shrugging my shoulders I decided to play into his game. I wasn’t as innocent as he thought I was. Bringing the cone up to my lips, I stuck out my tongue flattening it before giving the ice-cream long slow strokes and moaning as the coolness of it hit me. I even took it a step further to suck the ice-cream from my fingers until they no longer felt sticky. I was halfway through the cone when he stopped me. “Stop it.” was all he said in a hard tone. I bursted into laughter, but I was proud that I could affect him like that. Friends or not, he was still male and I was female.

“Well today was great.” I spoke after I had managed to calm down a bit. “Thanks for hanging out with me even though I’m pretty sure you’re tired and probably wanted to relax.”

“It was my pleasure Minnie. I enjoy spending time with you and I got to see these little ones.” he turned around to rub the dogs who were asleep on the little doggie couch he made into a makeshift car seat for them. He was too much sometimes. “Maybe a little later tonight or even tomorrow you can bring the dogs over for a swim. We haven’t really done much swimming this summer.”

“Sure Mickey,” I shrugged. “As long as this isn’t some weird ploy to see me in a bikini.” I teased as he laughed.

“Well it wasn’t initially, but now that you’ve put the thought there…”

“Goodbye David, I’ll talk to you later.” we both laughed as he hugged me before we went our separate ways across the paths that led to our homes. Since Dave had moved in the grass separating us had only grown thinner and thinner until it was basically just a dirt path.

That night we had indeed gone swimming and Dave made inappropriate jokes about me in a bikini as I pretended to ogle at his shirtless body. However, mine was more real than pretending, but he didn’t need to know that. The rest of the week had seemed to follow the same pattern. The dogs would wake me, he’d already be waiting in the window with a smile on his face, we’d make plans and then meet up. Sometimes we drove around just enjoying each other’s company. Sometimes we just took the dogs for a walk and talked about nothing really. Every time we got ice-cream and then we’d end the day either playing in the pool or simply watching the stars. Each day my feelings for him grew more. I was beginning to really understand them, but I only continued to ignore them. I didn’t want to ruin things. I didn’t want things to change.

I groaned as my phone began ringing, breaking me from my thoughts. I wanted to keep my distance from him today, but doing so hurt more than just thinking about it.

“Hey Maria, what are you doing?” he asked his deep voice floating over me and making my entire body tingle.

“Lying here depressed.” I whined dramatically.

“Why?” he chuckled.

“Today is vet day. To make it worse they have to stay overnight and I’m going to be so alone while I constantly worry about them. Want to keep me company until they get back?”

“Sure. Why aren’t you going with them like always?”

“Moms says that I’m a crybaby and she’s tired of it. Plus I was banned after what happened last time.” I pouted.

“You are a crybaby thought Minnie, especially after what happened last time; but I guess you’re my crybaby.” he let a small laugh escape him as I felt my entire body melt into itself from his words as I fell back on the bed. For a moment everything went silent as I just listened to him breathe. I had it bad and I didn’t want to have it at all. “Hey Maria?” he asked, causing me to sit back up in a rush making me go dizzy from the sudden action. I wasn’t surprised by him using my first name, we often switched between our first and middle names, but it was the way that he said it that caught me off guard.

“David?”

“You’re not starting to like...like me are you?” he paused, his tone hesitant as I sat there with my jaw on the floor. How did he know? I thought I’d hid it well. He hadn’t shown signs of noticing anything? What the hell? As much as I wanted to confess the truth, the fear of his rejection made me lie.

“What are you talking about Mickey? Of course I like you. We’re so close it’s like I’ve known you for years.” I joked trying to keep the fear out of my voice and even forced out a laugh that actually sounded genuine. To me at least.

“I’m not talking about a friendship kind of like Minerva, you know what I mean?” he snapped, shocking me that he actually used my full middle name for the first time ever.

“David Micheal what the hell?!” I gasped, but of course he ignored me.

“Do you like me Minnie? Are you getting romantic feelings?” he all but yelled making me jump a bit. He sounded panicked, like he really feared that I might. That confirmed it for me. These feelings were entirely one sided. Sighing, I swallowed down my emotions and told what I hope was the most convincing lie I have ever told.

“Oh...um. Sorry but no Mickey. You’re cool and all, but you’re not really my type. I don’t mean any offense, but why did you ask that? Why now and not back then? How long have you been thinking that I do?” The lie was easier to tell than I expected and his sigh of relief proved I had convinced him. I could hear my heart breaking into a million pieces and if he could, he ignored it.

“I don’t know Minnie. I mean I like you, I really do, but not in that kind of way. I guess I just wanted to make sure that we were on the same page. You know so things won’t get awkward between us if one person did feel that way and the other didn’t. We don’t want to ruin things, right?”

“Right.” I agreed, trying to keep my voice strong. It was one thing to think it, but it was something else to have it confirmed unprovoked.

“So what do you want to do right now?” he asked his tone going from serious to playful in the blink of an eye.

“I don’t know.” I shrugged even though he couldn’t see me. “How about a swim? I need to burn some energy.” I suggested. At least he wouldn’t be able to tell that I’m crying while doing a few laps in his pool.

“Sure, be ready in ten.”

“Okay.” he hung up without another word. I groaned as I threw the phone away from me before grabbing my pillow and screaming into it. On one hand I was pissed. On the other, I just wanted to cry. I didn’t understand it at all. To make it worse that was the first and only time I had ever felt so awkward being around him. Even swallowing my tongue at the sight of him was easier to manage than this. I had never acted upon my crush on him. I never had any intention of acting on it and I didn’t need him telling me that basically, I wasn’t his type. I didn’t understand what his deal was. We just had a perfect week together and he brings this up now. I groaned as I threw my arms over my eyes more confused now than I was before.

I felt the little dips in my bed as the pups jumped up before sniffing and licking me. I laughed as I pulled the closest one to me.

“I’m okay guys. Dave and I are fine.” I whispered hoping it was true. At the mention of his name they got excited. Rolling my eyes, I got up. “Fine. I’ll let you go say bye.” It wasn’t really something that I wanted to do, but for them I’d do anything. Grabbing my phone once again, I check time so I could make good on my promise. Smiling once I realized that she wasn’t going to be leaving for about another twenty minutes. Removing my socks I raced them down the stairs and out the backdoor. I let them chase me for a second before going over to the gate and knocking on it. “Open up! I have a surprise.” I laughed.

I could see him trying to come to the gate, but it sounded like someone was trying to hold him back. It took a minute for the voice to register. Clarissa. I rolled my eyes as I opened the gate from my side to see him indeed being held against his will. They both looked at me when I walked through. She was pissed that I’d interrupted and he had a pleading looking in his eyes. Before either he or I could speak Clarissa was screeching in her annoyingly high pitched, nasally voice.

“Ahhhh! You fucking loser get these little beasts away from me!” she screeched, swatting away at them as they tried to get Dave’s attention. They were jumping barking happily at him. After what felt like forever, but was only a few seconds she finally let go of him and he bent down to give them the attention they wanted.

“I thought they were leaving.” he smiled.

“They are, but not for a few minutes and they wanted to come say bye.” I forced a smile on my face trying to ignore the death glare being directed at me. I had ignored her all these years and had to try harder once she got her sights on Dave, but right now seemed impossible. I didn’t know if it was because she swung at my dogs or because I didn’t like her being so close to him. Especially after the rumors she spread about them hooking up. He was never alone with her and never wanted to be. He was always with me and she hated it. She felt that she was better than me and the fact that the new boy had chosen me had gotten under skin. She made my life hell in school and especially in cheer practice, but I just tried to ignore her. It wasn’t like there was anything else I could do.

“Awww, my babies.” he cooed in a baby voice as I snickerd. “I’m going to miss you too.”

“I’m sure they know.” I teased as he rolled his eyes.

“Don’t be jelly because I love them more.” he joked as if it wasn’t something he’d already said a thousand times.

“I’m really starting to believe that’s true.”

“That’s because it is.” he deadpanned as I narrowed my eyes at him before sticking my tongue out childishly.

“Excuse us, but we in the middle of something.” Came the screech of the she-devil herself.

“Hello to you too Clarissa. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” I said nicely.

“You never do Maria.” she snapped sucking her teeth. “Ugh! Will you get this little bastard?!” she yelled, swinging her foot out and kicking Cocoon.

“What the fuck?!” I yelled pissed. For a second he was completely in the air. His little whimper broke my heart. I snapped. Before I knew what I was doing I had punched her squarely in the center of her face with so much force I knocked her off her feet and she stumbled into the pool. “Hurt him again! I dare you!” I growled spit flying out of my mouth as Dave tried to calm me down.

“Cool it Minnie.” he breathed struggling to get a secure hold on me. “Rissa, I think you’d better get the hell out of here before she kills you.” She only huffed as she got out the pool and stomped away. Now I was pissed at him. He was acting as if I had done something wrong. He didn’t even stand up for us. I scoffed as I violently pushed him away from me.

“Say bye to Dave you guys.” I spat as I picked up Cocoon cuddling him to me.

“Minnie-”

“I said bye.” I growled cutting him off. I really didn’t want to be around him right now. I could still hear him calling my name as I stomped away and back to my own dwelling. It felt good to not be a pushover for once, instead of being proud of me he tells me to cool it. To my surprise my mom was right there with an expression on her that I couldn’t quite read. It was clear that she’d seen everything.

“I saw what happened Maria. That wasn’t nice and definitely not how I raised you to resolve things.”

“I know mom, but she hurt Cocoon and I lost it.” I defended sitting him down as the other two immediately tried comforting him.

“I’m not talking about you punching that girl. She deserved it for kicking the dog. I wish I’d gotten a better look at her so I could press charges. I’m talking about with David. He did nothing wrong.”

“But he-”

“Didn’t want you to kill her? Kicked her out because of what she did? Threatened to let you kick her ass? Please darling, tell me what he did that was so wrong.” she folded her arms across her chest as I stubbornly stared at my feet. She was right. She was always right. Truthfully he hadn’t done anything wrong and I was being stubborn because I was still a little hurt from earlier. “You owe him an apology Maria and I’d suggest that you do it sooner rather than later. He’s a good friend, don’t push him away because you’re feeling like things are a way that they aren’t.”

She shook her head before heading back in the house to continue getting the dogs ready. I looked over into Dave’s yard. He was still standing there, but he was looking at me in a way he never had before. He made it clear what he felt, and now I was making it clear that I needed some time away from him. Shaking my own head I followed my mom into the house. Fifteen minutes later she was gone and I no longer wanted him to keep me company.

The past couple days were hell. As mad as I was when it all happened, I was no longer anywhere near that now. I missed just hanging out with him. I miss us joking around. I miss us walking or going for a drive. I just missed him. Even the dogs missed him.

I needed to get my mind off of things and him. I needed to stay busy. I woke up at around five in the morning, said good-bye to my parents since they were going on a business trip for a few days and then I went to work cleaning the house. I started in my room and went to the bathrooms before finally going down to the ground floor. Admittedly, once I’d gotten to the basement it had taken me longer because I was decorating it in my mind. Suddenly it seemed like it would make the perfect little apartment without all the exercise equipment sitting around.

I had cleaned so much it felt like the house was sparkling. The entire place smelled like fresh linen with a hint of lemon from the air freshener I’d used to smother the chemical smell. I was exhausted and hungry. After taking a much needed shower, I threw on a pair of white sweatpants with yellow stripes down the side of the legs and a yellow tank top to match before doing my dirty laundry. I only had about a load’s worth even after adding my sheets and duvet, but it was better to get it out the way before it piled up. Once that was done I went in the kitchen to make me something to eat. I had just finished toasting the sub bread when a knock on the door interrupted me. Turning off the oven, I ran over to the door and wasn’t surprised when I saw Dave standing there wearing pants exactly like mine matched with a white t-shirt instead.

“Well I guess this is a good sign.” he smiled gesturing between us.

“How come?” I asked leaning against the doorframe and crossing my arms over my chest. I was still annoyed with him, but I missed him more.

“Because no matter how mad you get at me, we still seem to think alike.” I could tell that he was nervous by being here, and I knew it was because of me that he felt that way. As much as I wanted to pretend to still be angry and make him sweat it out, I just couldn’t. I missed him a hell of a lot more than I’d realize. Before I knew it I was being wrapped up tight in his arms as I smiled to myself and hugged him back just as tight. “Don’t do that again.” he whispered against my ear.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered back. Somehow whispering felt like the right thing to do in that moment. We both knew why he thought I was angry and sometimes it felt like we could read each other’s mind, but it never seemed that we could when it mattered most.

“Were you mad at me because of what I said? Look, I was just being stupid. I didn’t mean it how it sounded.” I couldn’t help laughing at the panic look on his face before shaking my head no.

“It wasn’t anything like that.” I half lied. “It’s just when Clarissa kicked Cocoon it really got under my skin and pissed me the hell off. I don’t care what she does or say to me, but no one is going to hurt them. Then you told me to cool it. I felt like you had taken her side.” I admitted. I watched as understanding crossed his features before going back to making my sandwich. The moment had turned awkward for me and I felt like he could tell that I was only telling him part of the truth. I needed to keep busy. For my own sanity, I had to learn how to hide what I truly felt better.

“I’m sorry that you felt like that. You know I love them and trust me Clarissa knows how wrong she was. She had to hear my mouth for hours and then I blocked her for a few days.” For a second I paused as he sat at our Island in the middle of the kitchen. A part of me wanted to laugh at the cheesy grin on his face, but a much bigger part was still annoyed. Why was he even still talking to her? Animal lovers and abusers could never get along and here he was all buddy buddy with an abuser. How can he continue on with someone who hurts the people and puppies he loves?

“Well that’s good. It happens again I’ll kick your ass for restraining me.” I spat as he went wide-eyed. “Remember I choose non-violence. Doesn’t mean that I can’t kick some ass.”

“Good to know. Um...so what kind of sandwich are you making? It looks so good.” he complimented as I rolled my eyes. Despite his horrible attempt to change the subject, I knew where this was headed.

“The same one I always make. A turkey, ham and bacon sandwich with lettuce, mayo, mustard and a side of doritos. Let me guess, you want one and you want pickles on it.” I smirked. “You probably want cheese also and for it to be melted.”

“Hell yeah I do. You know me so well Minnie.” he answered dramatically as he threw his hands over his heart and gave me puppy dog eyes. I shook my head laughing as I began toasting another sub roll before making him his own sandwich and adding some chips to the plate before handing it to him. After putting everything back where I got it from and cleaning the bit of mess I made, I grabbed two bottles of grape juice and took my seat on the side of him. I watched as he took a big bite as I sat the juice next to his plate. The way he moaned as he chewed made me blush from the naughty thoughts quickly entering my head.

“Holy shit that’s good!” he exclaimed, taking another bite of his sandwich. “Way better than all the others you’ve made me.”

“Thanks.” I laughed rolling my eyes before finally starting to eat my own food. Each time I made the sandwich he said that one was the best one. A few times Dave had to save me from choking. He thought it was because I was shoving too much food in my mouth, but it was because he kept moaning. Between that and the thoughts I kept forgetting to chew. After eating a little over half of my sandwich and most of my chips I couldn’t take it anymore and just wanted something to drink.

“Want the rest of this?” I asked Dave hoarsely as I pushed the plate away from me. He eagerly grabbed it without hesitation. I just sat there drinking my juice as I waited for him to finish and tried desperately to block out the moaning. It was starting to feel like he was doing it on purpose. Like he knew how much it was affecting me and he was enjoying it. Almost taunting me to make a move. Once he was done, he took one long gulp of his juice finishing off half the bottle and let out a loud belch.

“I seriously have to pay you back for this. That really was the best one yet and you know I don’t like mayo.” I laughed fighting the urge to tell him that the mayo was probably why he liked it so much. I reiterate, I’ve probably made this exact thing for us at least a hundred times at this point, but this was the first he’d ever had it with mayonnaise.

“If you really want to pay me back, you could come over for dinner. My parents are gone for their monthly trip again. I didn’t feel like going this time and now I no longer want to be alone with just the pups. Kind of want someone around who actually answers my questions.” I sighed. I never liked going on their business trips with them. I was still lonely, just in another place. I only went on the last one because he’d been gone for the month.

“Sure I’ll come over. On one condition though.” he smirked his usual mischievous glint coming to his eyes.

“I wonder what it will be.” I replied sarcastically, raising my eyebrow at him skeptically.

“You have to bring me a sandwich, like the sandwich you just made me, everyday for the first two weeks of school. In return I’ll pay for food after school and come over for dinner tonight.”

“Fine.” I shrugged, “As long as you don’t tell them where you’re getting them from. I’m not running a sandwich shop here.” I teased as he rolled his eyes and shoulder bumped me. Or at least tried too. Have I mentioned that he’s like a foot taller than me?

“Deal. So what are we eating tonight?” he asked, his eyes hopeful that I would be cooking.

“Pizza. Delivery.” he looked at me with a stale face as I bursted into laughter.

With the plan set, he headed over to his house and changed into his PJs before coming back over. When I asked why we needed pj’s for dinner he only said it would be more fun that way. I really wanted to ask him to spend the night but I didn’t want him to think that was too much after everything that happened. We ate our pizza as we watched tv up in my room before we realized how late it was getting. He hugged me goodbye and as soon as I closed the door not only did earlier events come rushing to my mind but so did what happened before the whole Clarissa thing. At least now I knew he saw me as nothing more than a friend. There couldn’t have been any kind of affection towards me outside of the friendly nature and there never will be. He wanted her and the fact that he was still talking to her after she hurt Cocoon proved that much. I walked back upstairs and to my room where the pups were sleeping soundly on my bed. I groaned as I rolled my eyes and pulled out my phone.

Damn Mickey. I get it. You’re not attracted to me. It’s not like I’m trying to trick you into coming over to share my bed with you so I can seduce you. Friends can share a bed sometimes.

Ouch. Rub it in some more then. It doesn’t hurt enough already.

I had to force a smile so I wouldn’t cry as I turned the light on in the hallway and headed back downstairs with pillows, blankets and a few games in hand. He was making it blatantly obvious that he wanted to be nothing more than just good friends and I wasn’t going to change that. It wasn’t like I could anyways. I had to accept what he wanted.

………………………….

“I win! I win!” he chanted as I pushed my lips out into a pout as he laughed at me. “Awww, isn’t that little pout so cute on you.” he mocked.

“I quit and I don’t want to play anymore. You are such a freaking cheater.” I whined, folding my arms across my chest and rolling my eyes at him.

“I didn’t cheat Minnie, you’re just a really bad sore loser.” he teased, sitting on the side of me and throwing his arm over my shoulders. “So how about the loser cooks?” he asked, smiling so wide that every last one of his teeth were showing.

“If you really had wanted another pizza, you should have ordered it when I told you to. I warned you that they stopped taking deliveries at nine and stopped delivering at nine thirty, but no you were too lazy.”

“Please!” he begged. “I’ll even help you.”

“No Mickey.” I deadpanned. I tried not to make eye contact with him as I felt him scoot closer to me. The cards went scattering to the floor and he made no move to pick them up. We were now pressed side to side as he pulled me in basically cuddling me as he stroked my hair.

“You know you want to Minnie. I’ll even make it worth it for both of us if you do.” his voice had gone an octave deeper. If I hadn’t known any better I would’ve sworn he knew I had feelings for him and was using them against me. “Come on Minnie, you know you want too.” I groaned as I got up and headed for the kitchen. He was wrong, I didn’t want to do this, but I needed to get as far away from him as possible before I did something stupid like plant my lips against his.

Opening the fridge I searched for something that would be quick, but not too quick. Something that would allow me some time to think, but won’t have me overthinking. Something that would let him help me, if he wanted, but not have him have to be right on side of me.

“Mickey how do you feel about steak or chicken tacos?” I breathed realizing that my mom must’ve placed the meat in the fridge for me in case I got hungry before they left. I was so preoccupied in my own emotions that I hadn’t noticed.

“I feel like both. I’ll help you cook.”

“No!” I blurted making him stop mid step as my face heated up. “I mean I can prep and cook it. You can help by cutting up and cleaning off the condiments. You can set the table and whatnot, by the time it’s all done the food should be ready.” he said nothing as he nodded, but he was still watching me with that same expression. I had no clue what it meant, but it was the same one from when I walked away from him for the first time since knowing him.

I washed the chicken before seasoning both meats to my liking, like my mama taught me. I had expected him to say something, but he’d ignored me as he did what I assigned him. We worked in silence until it was time for me to shred the chicken up. I was so caught up in thinking about why he was so quiet that I wasn’t really paying attention to what I was doing.

“Minerva!” he yelled, reaching me quicker than I thought was humanly possible and grabbing my hand. “What the fuck are you trying to do cut off a finger?!” he was mad. I could tell he was mad, but he was standing so close behind me I could feel his print pressed up against me. His abs were tight against my back and those strong muscled arms were practically wrapped around me stopping me from my actions. If my mind wasn’t already a blur, it definitely was now. “Damn it Minnie.” he sighed. “You’re bleeding.” so he wasn’t as fast as I thought. He used a towel to wrap it around my hand. After determining it wasn’t too urgent he finished up, throwing away the bits that had blood on it, and came back to tend to me.

My heart was swooning as he showed he cared, but my brain was reminding me that it was a friend he cared for. Nothing more. He worked slowly and calmly, holding my hand tight under the warm water. He had such an intense look on his face as he stood so close to me, I could feel the heat coming off of his body. I really wanted to close the very small gap between us and just kiss him already.

“I’m sorry Mickey.” I breathed, surprised that I had found my own voice.

“It’s okay Minnie. Just be more careful please. Let’s just eat now.” The smile he tried to give me was so obviously forced it actually made me gasped and almost tear up.

We ate in silence.

Well he ate in silence. I could barely force down the two I had fixed for myself. After checking the time, he thought it was probably best that he just went home. Sleepover was ruined. I only nodded my agreement before cleaning up and heading to my own room. I cried myself to sleep. I have never felt so rejected in my life and it hurt because I didn’t understand what he was rejecting. Tonight had just been a bad idea all the way around.

It was clear that he didn’t want me, blurry on whether or not he was still my best-friend, and now I was just going to accept it and cry. It was nothing else that I could do.