Chapter 11: His Grievous Sins

You are reading the clean version of Chapter 11 and missing a lot of good stuff ;) Seriously, about 1,500 words. It was a naughty chapter.

Please give feedback with comments or PMs. A quick vote is also appreciated. *adorable begging kitten eyes* :)

Leah's POV:

Leah and James went back to their normal routine on Thursday, and James went into work for a couple of hours. On Friday, she made her list for Trudy while he was away. She wrote:

Kidnapping

Seduction

Forced medical exams

She tried to think of his other grievous sins. She almost wrote, "Won't let me lie to him," but that wasn't really a grievous sin, was it? She certainly didn't think Trudy would believe it to be so. Then she looked at the list critically.

Kidnapping – he certainly had done that, no question. He had captured her and forced her here against her will. Plus, he was still keeping her prisoner.

Seduction – well, he had tried but failed. If she were honest, he hadn't seduced her at all the night they first had sex. In fact, he had asked her three times to be sure she was ready. She was also pretty sure he would have stopped if she had said to. He had frozen when she said, "Wait", and had looked so relieved when she had explained that she just wanted him to slow down. But would he stop now? She could test him to be sure. Yes, if she said she didn't want to have sex and he let her get away with it, she would take that off the list.

Forced medical exams - he definitely had done, in collusion with Doc. So that was staying on the list.

That night, she put some pajamas on after her shower and combed her own hair. She walked out to where he was sitting in the living room.

His eyebrows rose. "Pajamas, Leah?"

She hadn't worn pajamas since they had started having sex. She usually wore a nightgown while he brushed her hair. It never stayed on long in the bed. She said, "I want to sleep in my bed tonight."

He frowned. "Somehow, I don't think you mean our bed." She shook her head, so he stood up, clearly alarmed. "Why? What's wrong?"

Going for calm and casual, she answered, "Nothing. I just want to sleep alone tonight."

He eyed her critically, his gaze traveling down her pajamas. His eyes snapped back to hers, and he gently asked, "Did you start your period, love?"

"No!" she said indignantly.

He said, "Damn!" and slapped his forehead.

"What?" His reaction was confusing.

"I forgot to get you supplies for when you do."

She insisted, "I didn't get my period, James."

"I believe you, but we should still be prepared. Are you feeling sick?"

She shook her head.

"Do you even think you can fall asleep alone? You couldn't even take a nap alone the other day."

"That was because of the session."

He frowned, thinking again. "I don't believe I said or did anything that made you angry today. Did I?"

She frowned. "Not before this conversation."

His voice firmed up. "Fine. Go to bed then, but if you don't fall asleep quickly, I'm moving you back to our bed."

She said, "Okay," and ran off before he asked another question.

Her thoughts were racing, and she couldn't fall asleep. She panicked when she heard him coming down the hall. He opened the door quietly, and she squeezed her eyes shut because they wanted to open so badly. He walked over to her, waited a moment, and then said, "You are not asleep, Leah." Her eyes popped open. He threw her covers off, picked her up, and carried her to his bed.

"James!" she objected.

He took his clothes off and put pajamas bottoms on, though he usually didn't wear them. "You want to tell me what's going on now?"

She pulled the covers up to her chin. "I don't want to have sex tonight."

"We can sleep in the same bed without having sex, Leah."

"Doesn't seem like it."

He got in the bed with a thoughtful expression. "So, you need to test me?" She only shrugged. He lay down on his side, facing her. "Leah, I don't care if we've been married fifty years, if you stay stop, I stop."

Fifty years? He wanted to have sex in their seventies and eighties? She gave him a skeptical look, and he firmly said, "Yes, I'm still going to want you when we're old and gray."

Her expression cleared. "Okay."

He turned onto his back and pulled her against him, pressing her head to his chest, in their post-coitus preferred sleeping position. He fell asleep quickly, but her thoughts were still racing. His breathing was deep and even; she was sure he was asleep. She wanted to try something while he was there but couldn't hear her.

She softly said, "I love you."

She was flipped onto her back so fast that she gasped. He obviously had not been asleep, for now he was over her, looking directly into her eyes. He said, "What was that?"

She panicked and said, "What?"

He smirked. "Oh, talking in your sleep, were you?"

"Maybe?" She just gave him a confused look.

"In that case, sorry to wake you." He flipped them back over. After a moment, he said firmly, "Don't say that again unless you are already looking into my eyes."

She fidgeted against him. Now not only were her thoughts racing, but she was aroused. "James?"

"Yes?"

"I need you."

He pulled his head up and looked down at her. She drew little patterns on his chest. He grabbed her hand, pressing it flat to his chest. "No, you need me to show you that we can sleep in this bed without having sex."

She sighed. "I'm taking seduction off the list, okay?" She sounded frustrated even to herself.

"What list?"

Oh crap, she thought. Aloud, she said, "Figure of speech?"

"I guess it can be, yes, but not in this case. What list?"

Reluctantly, she answered, "The list of your transgressions against me."

His chest shook beneath her. He was laughing at her! "I don't believe I succeeded in seducing you, sweet."

"I said I took it off the list!"

"What else is on your list?"

"None of your business."

"Oh, I think it is."

"It's a list to discuss with Trudy, not you."

"But if I am the accused, don't I have a right to defend myself?"

"I don't believe you can. You definitely did the others."

"Give me a chance. If I did, then I'll admit it."

She sighed. "You kidnapped me."

He was quiet for a moment but then said, "Yes, that I did. It was for your own good."

She didn't want to discuss his reasons. It was still wrong. So, she moved on. "You forced me to have medical exams."

"Can't we blame that one on Doc? Everyone has to have exams when they come in. That's a policy created by the doctors."

"You didn't even try to stop them. You helped Doc!"

"Well, I didn't let him do the gynecological exam while you were unconscious."

She moved to sit up and screeched, "He wanted to do that? Oh my God!" completely shocked.

James tightened his arm around her, keeping her down against his chest. "It was just a suggestion. He thought it would be easier for you. I said no, that you would feel violated, and he dropped it."

She relaxed a bit. "I would have felt very violated."

He gave her a squeeze. "I know." She didn't say anything else, so he asked, "Is that it?"

"So far. Do you have anything you want to add?" She was hoping he did, as she needed more arguments.

His chest shook again. "No." A moment later, he asked, "What about a list of my good deeds?"

"I haven't written one."

"That hardly seems fair."

That wouldn't support her argument. She didn't say anything, so he squeezed her again. She said, "I'll work on it tomorrow." She wouldn't have to show it to Trudy.

"Good. Get some sleep now, love."

She did, eventually.

The next day, Saturday, he took her back to the toiletries store. There was an entire wall of sanitary options.

James asked, "What do you think you'll like?"

Leah said, "I don't know. I've never tried anything." That wasn't technically true. She had gotten her period, after the plague, but she had immediately started using the Depo shots because they listed a side effect of amenorrhea – the absence of periods. She didn't want to deal with them. James didn't notice she was lying because he was still studying the wall. He looked around for help. The person operating the store that day was a man.

James said, "Stay here," and walked off. A few minutes later, he returned with a young woman. She had blonde hair and was very curvy. Leah felt a stab of something that might be jealousy, but that made no sense, so she squashed it down.

James said, "Leah, this is Laurel. The crew found her east of Houston about three months ago. Laurel, this my girl, Leah."

Laurel smiled and extended her hand to Leah. "Hi, Leah. It's very nice to meet you."

That sounded like a fake thing to say since the woman didn't know her at all, but Leah shook her hand quickly. "Hi."

James explained to Leah, "I asked Laurel to help us out." He looked at Laurel. "Leah hasn't had her period yet. It's a medical thing, which we think we've solved. So now we need to get her supplies, but she has no idea what she might like. Do you have any suggestions?"

Worry, relief, and then a friendly willingness to help clearly flitted across Laurel's face as James spoke. Leah punched him in the side, not appreciating the sharing of extremely personal information with a complete stranger. He didn't even grunt, so it was completely unsatisfying. He just pulled her against his side and kept looking at Laurel.

Laurel smiled but otherwise pretended not to notice. "Sure, no problem. Personally, I like pads. Most of my friends prefer tampons, but you aren't supposed to feel them and I do. I find them very uncomfortable. So I suggest you get both. That way you can try them both and see which you like." At least she was speaking to Leah now.

James asked, "Any specific brands or types?"

Laurel looked at the wall and grabbed one box. "These tampons, they have a gentle applicator, and this is a variety pack, so you can see what sizes you need and like." She gave the box to James. She walked down the wall and pulled three soft bags and one tiny box off the shelves. She handed James the little box. "Panty liners." She looked at Leah. "You use those with the tampons to catch any small leaks. Now these are the pads I like." She showed Leah each bag. "Light days, medium days, and overnights or really heavy days." She handed those to James as well.

Leah could feel the heat in her face and knew it was red. That was way too much information for her. She wanted to run out of there, but she mumbled, "Thanks."

James spoke clearly as usual, not embarrassed at all. "Thanks, Laurel, you've been a huge help."

Laurel smiled. "Happy to help."

James asked, "How are you anyway? Have you chosen a guy yet?"

Leah glanced up at him and saw he was grinning. She looked back to Laurel who was smiling but shaking her head. Laurel said, "No, I'm torn between Carlisle and Brewster."

James laughed. "Those two are so much alike, no wonder."

Laurel nodded. "I think I would be happy with either of them."

"Have you kissed them yet?"

She shook her head. "No, I've adopted a hands off policy until I choose. It would feel wrong."

"But that's how you'll know. You have to kiss them to see which one makes you feel passion."

Laurel pursed her lips, obviously thinking about it.

James added, "Start with the one you think more likely and just be honest about what you are doing with both of them. Tell them it will be just a kiss, a test, to help you decide and assure them that is all you are doing or did with the other."

Laurel nodded. "That sounds logical. I think I could do it, but... What if I don't feel anything with either of them?"

James smiled. "Better to know that sooner than later. If you reject all your current suitors, more will show up. Trust me." His smile grew into a grin.

Laurel laughed softly. "Thanks, James." She looked at Leah. "Oh, hey, my friends and I get together for a girls' night every Wednesday. We'd love to have you join us."

Leah was shocked. She fumbled, "Um, uh, Wednesdays? I can't. I have something on Wednesday afternoons that always leaves me exhausted."

Laurel waved that off. "I'll talk to the girls. I bet we can move it. What's your address? I'll come by and let you know."

James gave her the address, and Laurel wrote it down in a little book she had pulled from her purse.

Laurel smiled. "Great. I'll see you two soon then. Bye."

James said, "Bye, Laurel. Thanks again," and the woman walked off.

Leah waited until Laurel was gone and looked at James with narrowed eyes. "Why did you do that?"

"Do what?" He was all innocence.

"Give her the address."

James smiled. "Because you should make friends, Leah."

"I don't want to make friends, James!" She marched off to the front of the store, went outside, and waited in the truck.

James came out a few minutes later with the purchases, but he didn't start the truck. Instead he turned to her. "Come on, Leah. Talk to me."

She was sitting as far away as possible and picked her feet up. She put them on the dashboard and crossed her arms over her chest. "No." Her eyes remained fixed on the windshield.

James cajoled, "If you don't, you'll just stew in it."

"Drive, James, or I'm getting out."

"Fine." He turned the engine on. After he had the truck going, he said, "It'll be easier at home anyway."

She wanted to ask what would be easier, but her desire not to acknowledge his existence was greater, so she remained silent.

About halfway home, he asked with some surprise, "Are you jealous?"

Leah continued to look out the windshield and flatly said, "No."

"Good. You don't have anything to be jealous about. Nothing ever happened between Laurel and me, and you are much more beautiful than she is."

"I'm not jealous."

"You're mad at me for giving Laurel our address, but I don't understand why."

"I don't like her."

"You didn't like me at first either."

She glanced over at him and saw he was grinning. "I don't like you right now either." She checked again and saw he was still smiling.

He didn't speak again on the ride home. She opened her own door and marched into the house well ahead of him. He brought the bags in and put the supplies away in the bathroom. She picked up her book, a sci-fi novel, and sat in an armchair so he wouldn't be able to sit next to her.

She had her knees up, her feet in front of her on the deep chair, and the book open on her thighs. After she read a paragraph, the book was pulled away from her. She glanced up at James. "What are you doing?" He didn't answer with words but easily picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She screamed, "James!" in outrage. "Put me down!"

He did put her down, on the bed. She tried to scramble out of it, but he held her down with one hand for the two seconds it took him to lie on top of her and pin her to the bed. They were both very aware that her body loved this but her mind hated that it did. He did it to her almost every morning.

"Get off of me, James. This is so unfair."

He just smiled at her and waited. Damn him! she thought. She knew what he was waiting for, and it was happening. A warmth started between her legs. She squeezed her eyes shut and repeated to herself, I hate you. I hate this, like a mantra meant to stop the blood flow. It had to come from her mind somehow, some sick, twisted, secret desire. She had bought that sex book in hopes of finding out why she reacted this way. It had not been helpful so far. Still, she should be able to overpower it! The pulse came anyway. It beat stronger and stronger as he kept her immobile. She shouted, "James!" again meaning it to be a protest, but it came out more like a moan.

He certainly heard the difference because he backed off a bit. He held both her hands by the wrists with just one of his and used his other hand to pull up her T-shirt. He began to caress and kiss her body all over. He was making it much worse, or better, depending on how you looked at it, and she was torn. She wanted to tell him to stop but then he would stop, wouldn't he? She opened her mouth and let out a tentative 'S' sound, but he slapped his hand over her mouth, picked up his head, and said, "Don't say it or I will." He removed his hand and waited a second.

She whimpered, and he went back to kissing her body. She said, "James, let go of me, please." He did but only to shift over and go to work on getting her jeans off. She lifted her butt so he could pull them off. It all felt too good. She still didn't think it was fair that her body reacted to him like it did. It made her feel like a puppet whose strings he could pull anytime he liked. He pleasured her thoroughly, leaving her with a floating sensation that was very nice, peaceful. She hadn't a care in the world. When he was finally done with her, she didn't resist at all when he flipped over to his back and brought her with him. She cuddled against his chest and felt sleep pulling her down.

He asked softly, "Still mad at me, Leah?"

She had been mad at him? "For what?"

His chest shook a bit. "Never mind." He kissed her hair.

Something nagged at her with that reminder. She had been mad at him, hadn't she? There was something she had wanted to do, to punish him maybe? She couldn't remember and sleep pulled at her drugged body. It must not have been important.

James let her sleep for a couple of hours and then woke her with little kisses. She opened her eyes and stretched like a kitten, making him grin at her. He said, "Time to get up, love. If you take too long a nap, you'll never sleep tonight."

Leah frowned at him, she had thought it was the middle of the night. "What time is it?"

"About 6 p.m. Let's get dressed and go to the square tonight."

She said, "Okay," feeling complacent and malleable.

He grinned at her and started getting dressed himself. Leah went to the bathroom and put on underwear. She started to pull jeans from her closet, but her fingers skimmed a soft sundress on the way. Her hand went back and felt the dress again. Her skin felt soft and insubstantial. She didn't want to put on the stiff denim, so she pulled the dress out and slipped it over her head. The skirt swished against her legs, light and airy. It felt good, so she decided to go with it. After slipping sandals onto her feet, she turned and saw James smiling at her. She asked, "What?"

Still smiling, he said, "You're so beautiful, Leah. You might want to brush your hair. It's very cute as it is, but everyone will know what you've been doing." His smile turned into a grin.

She lifted her hands to her hair and felt how messy it was. "Okay." She went back to the bathroom.

He followed her in and picked up the brush before she could reach it. He said, "Let me," and stood behind her in front of the mirror. He brushed her unruly hair back down into order with a gentle hand. The sensation of it added to the general soft fuzzy feeling that pervaded her body. When he was done, he kissed her temple. She smiled at him, and he asked, "Ready?" She nodded and let him take her hand. He led her out of the house and put her into the truck.

The square was full of people as on most nights. James walked her past the booths, checking out what was on offer. "What do you feel like, love?"

"Hmm... something light. Vegetables... fish maybe?"

He spotted a booth serving grilled fish and roasted vegetables. They got into the short line. It moved quickly, and they stepped up. He asked, "Look good?"

"Mmmhmm," she answered, and he grinned at her again. They were served plates by smiling men. Leah smiled back at them and said, "Thank you."

James led her to a table, sat her down, and went off for drinks. While he was gone, Dale showed up and sat down with a plate of fried chicken and a drink. Leah smiled at him, and Dale smiled back. He said, "Hi, Leah. How are you? Feeling better?"

She nodded, still smiling. "Yes, thank you. I feel wonderful."

Dale grinned at her. "Liking James better?"

She nodded agreeably. "Yes."

James set drinks on the table and climbed onto the bench seat beside Leah. He kissed her cheek, and she smiled at him. He smiled at Dale. "Hi, Dale. How's it going?"

Dale grinned at the couple. "Good but not as good as you two, I think."

James grinned back, "It could be, you know?" He cut up a bit of fish and ate it before he ran his hand up and down Leah's back. She sighed very softly and began to nibble at her food, feeling dreamy.

Dale's grin faded to a smile. "Maybe. We'll see. It's much more tempting now that we're staying in the Colony."

James nodded. "I know you didn't want to settle down and leave a woman waiting on you for weeks or months at a time. I kept telling you I'd be fine on my own but—"

Dale interrupted with a wave of his hand. "Yeah. Yeah. I know. Doesn't matter now. We're both staying put, so I'm thinking about it."

With a grin, James said, "I know someone who'd be glad to hear that."

Leah didn't know what they were talking about. She looked at Dale curiously. "Is there a woman you like, Dale?"

He smiled at her. "Maybe."

"Do you need to go steal her too?"

Dale laughed. "No, she's already here."

"Oh, that's good." Leah took another bite of her food.

James grinned at Dale. "She might like to get stolen." Dale's eyebrows rose at James's comment, but two more men arrived at the table. James said, "Leah, this is Topher and Carlton. They were with me the first time we met. I don't think you were introduced then."

Leah gave the men a small smile. "Hello."

They both smiled back, looking a bit relieved. Topher said, "Hi, Leah. How are you?"

James's hand was still running up and down her back. She still felt dreamy and relaxed, so she answered, "Wonderful. You?"

Topher grinned. "I'm great. Thanks. I'm glad to see you looking so happy."

Leah realized she was still smiling, but she couldn't think of why she shouldn't at the moment. She said, "Thanks," because she didn't know what else to say. She kept up with their small talk, adding a comment here and there. The evening passed in a soft haze. The warm July breeze moved through her hair and blew the skirt of her dress around her thighs in a soothing way. James continued to touch her, brushing her hair back when it occasionally flew forward and caressing her waist and back. They sat for a while after they finished eating. She listened to the soft deep sounds of the men talking, and it only added to the relaxing atmosphere.

Eventually, they said goodbye to the men, and James drove her home. When he opened her door and helped her out, he caressed the side of her face. "I'm so proud of you, Leah. You were so relaxed tonight, around all those people."

"Mmm, I do feel relaxed, James."

He grinned at her and pulled her to his side. He slipped his arm around her and closed the truck. "Come on. I want to make love to you again."

She said, "Okay," and went inside with him. He kept her very relaxed all weekend.