Chapter 13

That day, he was troubled after the tea time with Citrina. The conversation with Aron, the variety of words that Tuloji spoke and the things the duke did not know.

For Desian, who had lived an indifferent life, felt strange and hit him like a boom. He felt the need to clarify all of this.

'What is it to like?'

He didn't feel anything when he thought of other people. He didn't feel anything when he killed Tuloji. But why does he feel down when he thinks of her?

Because she was the first person he ever met when he surfaced from drowning?

His consciousness awoke when he hadn't met Tuloji for a long time. Then he met Citrina and killed Tuloji.

He ran into her when he felt like he broke out of something, coming out like a fool.

The most memorable first encounter outside of his world, a world of nothingness.

'It hurts my head... a little bit.'

His expression was still languid; the side effect even plagued him.

The strange feeling of alienation and the question of what 'like' was, passed through his mind which Desian had never thought before.

'How would I know that feeling?'

Citrina's question of whether he liked summer or roses.... sounded as if she liked them, and he replied 'maybe' because of her warm expression.

On the other hand, the tea time he was a part of, Aron made it clear that he liked her.

Aron said so. Desian likes both Aron and Citirna, but there was just something that made him irritated.

His feeling for them, that, was it the same?

He decided to find out in the library.

The room he decided to stay in temporarily and Aron's room were separated, he thought their paths would not cross, but that doesn't seem to be so.

"Brother, where are you going?" Aron encountered Desian, who was silently walking down the hall and asked with a smile.

As the outer residence was out of the duke's sphere of influence and became closer to Citrina, Aron seemed to be a little more energetic.

"Library." Looking down on that clear, bright eyes of Aron, he replied quietly.

"Ah! ... Brother, you know!..."

"Don't enter the basement dungeon, that's... what Citrina said." Desian's voice was cold.

Even though he intentionally cut Aron off, Aron's expression didn't change. Instead, he replied with a smile.

"Mn! Thank you for your concern, brother."

"Concern?"

"Mn, concern."

The more he faced Citrina, and the more he got mixed up with Aron, the more he felt his mind getting tangled.

Desian decided to remain silent. He turned his heels and went to the library.

'The underground dungeon shouldn't be open yet. That's all.

Inside the dungeon, corpses that wouldn't decay were rotting. Since the manservant and Tuloji, who gave him the elixir, were dead.'

'Why don't we send the duke to the underground dungeon?'

He was curious about what the duke's reaction would be. In the end, he would be utterly frightened. The monster he gave birth to was about to destroy everything he cared about the most.

How would the duke feel then? How would he think?

He could feel a slightly different feeling. Desian slowly closed his eyes and opened them. He was now outside of the duke's control for the first time in his life.

It didn't feel bad.

He entered the library after a brief conversation with Aron. There were neatly arranged bookshelves and a table on the side-the Sun peeking out the window.

His feet lead him to the aisle where the book he was looking for was placed.

It was the first time he looked for it, except for when he was a child. His memory was hazy. The only thing that was clear to him was the present time.

Desian soon noticed the title of the book with dull eyes.

Understanding the Fundamentals of Magic

Why You Shouldn't Learn Black Magic

He looked at it and curled his lips. The level was extremely childish. Besides, he already mastered the limits of magic.

'Really... just a childish book.'

Walking slowly, he stopped right in front of a bookcase, and read a few book titles.

A Review of Human Psychology

How Do Human Emotions Work?

-***-

Everyone has boundaries or so-called lines. They are friendly to people within the line, but everyone will be indifferent to others outside of it.

-***-

Boundaries. For a person who has no apparent interest in others outside of his interest, such a word suits him.

It was a study of abandoned research and contained quite interesting contents.

Desian flipped a few more pages. Soon, more interesting contents appeared.

"The most obvious way to show a person that you have a crush."

What is it?

"One is to smile brightly," he read aloud.

Illustrations were drawn in order to show the category of a 'smile' and a 'laugh'. He can see a man who looks happy, as if with a wagging tail.

The kind of face that Aron always wore. It was the same as today. When Aron showed such an expression, Citrina smiled.

If so, do the two of them have a crush on each other?

In a moment, Desian's face subtly twisted.

'Smile?'

A way to show that you have a crush, smile.

He couldn't clearly distinguish the other people's feelings, but nevertheless, he knew the definition of happiness, even if the emotion close to that of happiness was too far from him.

'Even though, it feels like the fog has cleared up a little bit.'

Desian stepped out of the aisle with a book in hand.

Unlike others, Desian doesn't precisely know what 'like' is. He also doesn't know how to smile and express his little crush.

So it wouldn't be wrong to try it once.

That was Desian's way, to 'Face it Yourself'.

***

The opportunity to test out what he had read yesterday came easily.

The next day at noon, Desian was reading a book of the same bookshelf he went to yesterday. Time passed by quietly.

*Toktok*

There was a knock on the door that brought forth a little bit of expectations within him.

*Chong!*

Feeling a little bit disappointed when it was Aron who was looking for him.

Aron peeked at the slightly open door and popped his head in.

"Brother, let's have lunch together at the dining hall. What do you say?"

This proposal was extremely doubtful.

Since now that the outer residence was completely isolated, a servant that was hypnotised by Desian left simple cooked meals. There was no reason for Aron to eat in a separate room.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to have lunch with you so I prepared a dish. Oh, why don't we also call Citrina?"

Aron's face brightened in the mention of Citrina, and Desian nodded as he looked at the smile on Aron's face.

It was the kind of smile that one will grow fond of.

He decided to express his affection to Citrina. For the first time, he did not seem like a lifeless person as curiosity rushed in.

"Yes! See you later, brother!"

Listening to Aron, he closed his eyes slowly.

It's weird.

Thinking of her, subtle feelings began to swell somewhere in his lungs.

Is it true that he likes Citrina?

If that's the case, he's...

***

Citrina had always been looking for an opportunity to oversleep. It was Aron who woke her up late.

She heard the sound of knocking that brought her awake.

*knock knock knock*

Aron slowly knocked on the door and said, "Citrina, are you asleep?"

"Yes. I just woke up."

"Uh... by chance, that, would you like to have lunch with me?"

"Alright. I'll be right out, Aron."

Citrina rose from her cozy bed, took off her pajamas and wore a cotton dress. It was the kind of dress that showed the poor situation of the baron house.

The baroness, who did not treat her in a proper way, did not prepare a dress for Citrina.

She didn't care much. She will succeed in achieving her dream of becoming the perfect jewelry designer in this world anyway, and she will become rich. She thought of buying lots of clothes if she does.

"I don't need anything, although it's nice to have a mirror here."

There were no full-length mirrors in the baron house since mirrors are such precious objects. And there were also no decent maids there since they could barely pass as a noble.

"Alright. This is pretty good."

After wearing her dress, she opened the door of her room. Aron was standing in front of her and gave a bright smile.

"Citrina, let's go. My brother is waiting."

"Huh? Oh, yes."

She skillfully hid her embarrassment and frowned.

'Desian is waiting? That's unexpected.'

She followed Aron to the dining hall, a little bit surprised.

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