Chapter 3

“Into the car you go. Come on.” I pushed down gently on Tommy’s legs until they were still and in his car seat. I buckled him in and then closed the car door. I rubbed my bare hands together roughly as I tried to take the sting away. Slowly their frigid state turned and they become warm and flexible. I sighed heavily and watched as a small white cloud shot out of my mouth from the action.

“Goodbye. I’ll make sure to come visit soon.” I reached to hug Mrs. Becket. Her lavender scent hit my nose as I hugged her tightly.

“Thank you Tori but it isn’t necessary. As much as I love my grandson, I need you to take all the time you need in adjusting.” I smiled and made my way towards Mr. Becket. His Old Spice cologne covered him like thick smog in the city centre. His embrace was warm and friendly as it always was. After all the goodbyes were made, I drove away and headed for the only place that ever made me feel safe.

The windows were closed and slightly fogged from the contrast of the warm heated interior and the icy exterior. I slowed my car to a steady stop at a Stop sign and quickly looked over my shoulder. Tommy sat sleeping peacefully in his chair with his mouth partly agape. The action reminded me so much of Maggie that my vision blurred suddenly as waves of sorrow hit me forcefully. A loud shrill blasted through my thoughts and I jerked my head towards the rear-view mirror where I could see an angry set of hands waving around in the car behind me. I shook my head and pressed on the accelerator.

I drove into my parents’ driveway and parked the car. Once I had Tommy safely in my arms, I made the dreaded ascend towards the front door. “Tori is that you?” My mother’s high pitched yell reverberated from the patio. I groaned and yelled in return. “Yes mother. Who else has keys to get into the yard?” My mother huffed and stomped her foot like a toddler during a tantrum.

“You do not need to be snarky. Now get out of this irritating cold and come have some warm coffee. I expect you to explain the addition you have as well.” I nodded. My mother could be warm and loving but she could also be cold and strict. Her polished black tailored skirt ran smoothly down her thin legs until the tips of her knees. Her tanned stockings thinned out over her knees and patches of blue could be seen. Her tight green turtleneck showed her impressive chest and added a subtle contrast to her dyed ivory hair.

“Here let me hold him.” My frustration towards my mother eased at the sight of her smile. I handed Tommy to my mother and watched her once stiff features turn soft and happy. “He really is beautiful. Looks so much like Maggie, don’t you think?” I smiled in return and pulled Tommy’s bag over my shoulder. I followed my mother into the heated house and closed the door behind me.

“Is dad home?” I asked.

“He’s in his study. He has a new case that has really been bugging him.” My mother replied and sat Tommy’s car seat with him in it on the chair alongside her. He lay asleep and warm in his blankets seeming completely unaware of the lady staring at him.

“So sweetie, you want to tell me about our new addition?” My mother asked. I threw my cold body down into the soft cushion of the only three-seater couch in the house. The rough texture rubbed against my dry skin creating a rather soothing warmth to appear.

“I’m his guardian.” My mother gasped.

“Is that why you had to meet the lawyer today?” I nodded in reply. “That certainly changes things. What happens now?”

I shrugged. “I have to keep him mom, he has no one else.”

“I know,” she stated. “I wouldn’t expect you to give him up. What I’m asking is what are you going to do now that you have a baby to look after?”

“I don’t know,” I sighed. “It isn’t as though I’ve had a lot of time to think everything through. I should probably get a job, maybe drop out. It isn’t too late. I haven’t registered for second semester yet.”

“Not on your life!” My mother’s scream shook me and I blinked profusely. I watched as Tommy’s eyes flew open and just as quickly, his screams out ranked my mother’s. I hung my head in frustration and went to gather Tommy. I unbuckled him and held him in my arms until his screams became quiet sobs. I looked to my mother accusingly.

“Did you have to scream?”

“It was a completely deserved action.” My mother scoffed. “I am not having you throw away your education. You are roughly three months away from graduating with an architecture degree. This semester was supposed to be about you gaining experience and looking for internships for next year. I will not have you throw away all your success to raise a child!” My mother shouted.

“If I don’t then who will?” I shouted back.

“You can raise a child and still work. I did it for goodness sake.”

“This is different,” I mumbled.

“No it isn’t and you know it. Your father and I will help out as much as we can. We can look for a good sitter or a nursery school to have him while you’re at school. In the evenings your father and I can help if you have an assignment or a test. You aren’t alone in this. We’re here to help, so let us.”

I grinned and quickly put Tommy back into his seat. I rushed to my mother’s side and wrapped my arms around her small frame. “Thank you mom! I really needed to hear that.” I said into her shirt. My mother stroked my back gently as she returned the hug.

“You know we love you. Things will be tighter financially so we will have to discuss that soon but it doesn’t change the fact that we are a family and we stick together.” I kissed her cheek in gratitude.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Now why don’t we get Tommy set up in your room and discuss everything the lawyer mentioned.” I nodded and reached for Tommy’s bag. While my mother and I set up Tommy’s cot and organised a shelf for his clothes, I recapped my meeting for my mother. We discussed living arrangements and the small legal tasks we had to accomplish. Two hours later I was exhausted but relieved. The anxiety I had been housing was finally gone once I knew the state of Tommy’s living arrangements.

Tommy had soon woken from his nap and had been fussing about, looking for food. I waited until my mother had cooked my dinner before I placed Tommy in his feeding chair. My mother had found a bottle of Purity baby food in his carry bag which I happily fed him. The bottle let me know he was eating pears and guava and though my nose was scrounged at the name and smell, Tommy seemed to be in paradise at the taste.

I was in the process of scrapping the mushy food off Tommy’s nose and ears when my father walked in. His belly laughed caused my head to swivel. “I remember those days. Baby’s never can sit still long enough for you to only get the food in their mouths.”

I sighed in defeat. “I know he’s hungry but he moves his head when the spoon is only halfway in his mouth. He got more on him than in him.”

My mother chuckled in her seat across from me whilst she set a plate for my father. “So we have a new addition I take it?” My father asked. I sheepishly looked at his salt and pepper hair that had thinned out over the years. His slightly wrinkled eyes crinkled with his smile making his laughing grey eyes sparkle with mischief.

“Is it okay, because I became a guardian today?” I asked my father nervously. His naughty grin turned into an open O shape.

“Wow. I am shocked but not all surprised really. You’re the next best thing after Maggie.” My eyes glistened with fresh tears and I swallowed the escape of my emotions away. I had been struggling to believe I was a suitable stand in for Maggie but having my parents support was slowly changing my mind.

“Thank you daddy.” My father smiled in return and attacked his beef lasagne with ravish abandonment.

“So are you excited to start a new semester?” My mother asked.

I nodded and fed Tommy a new spoonful of sloppy food. “I’m a little nervous now that things are different but I am somewhat excited. There was talk last semester of Mr. Thomlin hosting a competition this semester in correlation with Dream Designs Corporation. Apparently they are hoping to start an internship programme next year and they’re hoping to find candidates at our campus. They want only the best so they’re making us prove ourselves.”

My parents beamed. “That is fantastic and just the opportunity you need. You should apply.” Mentioned my father.

I squirmed in my seat. “It would require a lot of dedication and time. With Tommy in the picture now, I don’t think I can commit.” The realisation that my dreams were just out of reach was devastating. I had been working for almost four years to get an opportunity much like the one from Dream Designs but I had never factored in an obstacle, much less a six month old one.

“That is preposterous! A child should not be a hindrance. Sure it is a challenge but it does not mean you need to sacrifice all you are. We will make it work but come day one of the new semester, I want to hear that you have signed up for the competition. Am I clear young lady?” My mother had her judge voice on.

Nadine Carradale was known as ruthless and fair in the supreme courts where she was paid to judge the accused but, at home she was usually soft spoken and loving. It was rare times such as this where her occupation ruled her mother persona. I had learnt from an early age that when her judge voice spoke through, it was best to shut up and do as you were told.

I nodded and tried to hide my grin. I was really fortunate to have the love and support of my parents that I did. With Maggie gone I had worried who would be there to push me towards my dreams which I had so often seen as unobtainable. Now it was clear to me. My parents would ensure that I reached for the impossible and did all I could to create a loving home for Tommy.

When I started University in a week I was going to march into Mr. Thomlin’s office and put my name on the sign-up sheet. My life may have just got more complicated but I was also sure it got more entertaining too and I was struggling to find anything wrong with that. Maggie had always believed that an interesting and challenging life was a life well lived and explored. To Maggie, a boring life meant a passionless life and passion meant living not surviving.

After knowing Maggie for eight years, I was finally starting to see truth in her words. I wanted to live a passion filled life, if not for me than for the life stripped of Maggie.

“Now Tori, would you like to tell me why Matt keeps calling our house at the most impromptu of times?” My father asked with his eyebrows raised and his voice stern and rid of humour. I cleared my head of the distracting thoughts.

I groaned into my hands and shook my head in disappointment and more frustration then I could handle. “He won’t take a hint dad. He keeps calling me to get back together.”

“Now Tori you know how your mother and I feel about that young man but if you wish to rekindle the relationship, I ask that you now consider Tommy in the situation.”

I laughed, “dad, there is no rekindling of anything. I promise. Unfortunately it seems to be the very issue Matt cannot grasp.”

My father grunted and I watched as my mother calmly laid her hand on his forearm. “I’m pleased to hear that. If he calls again just be sure to hint about the very powerful position I hold.” My mother threw me a wink and I grinned. Technically my mother held no authority to arrest or cause damage to Matt and his reputation; it did however not stop her from using a few creative ideas to scare the low hanging pants off of him.

“I’ll be sure he knows where you stand in all of this.” I replied and Tommy answered with a giddy shriek. I turned towards the grinning baby and giggled at his off-yellow painted face. “That’s right baby boy. You tell them!” Tommy squealed again and a soft smile reached my lips.

Tommy was my new blessing.