Chapter 33

Meet me in the library in ten minutes to work on our project plans.

I stared down at the message sent from Kevin as I sat in my morning lecture. The great thing about university is that the lecturer's didn’t care if you attended or if you spent the entire two hours on your phone. To them it was your own education you were ruining and it was a consequence you had to face. That way of thinking was what made me love university so much; it was the only place where I was encouraged to be independent. At my house it often felt as though my independence was being challenged.

It wasn’t anymore. The talk with my parents had helped us by opening our communication lines. I had never felt so a part of a family since the family I had with Maggie. Now though, I could finally say I had a familial connection with my own  parents.

It felt as though they were now my parents and not just strangers floating through the house, living harmoniously. I snuck another glance at the message and then swung my head in the direction where Kevin sat in the first row. His head was down and his gaze was intent on his cell phone screen; his body tense with anticipation. I suspected that he was waiting for my reply. I tried to squash down the butterflies that began fluttering about in my tummy as I stared at his fearful and guilt ridden features.

I’ll be there. I replied and watied for his reaction. His body jerked when the message came through and after scanning his eyes across the screen, he closed the app and put the phone away. I could see his teeth filled smile from my seat at the back of the class. Kevin’s head suddenly turned and his eyes locked with mine. I froze, unable to turn away from his deep soulful stare. He seemed shocked to find me staring but his shock quickly turned into excitement as his lips turned into a smile. I found myself smiling back before I even realised it was happening. His smile always made me do stupid things.

Maybe there was hope for us yet.

I broke eye contact first and turned to our lecturer. I could still feel his eyes burning holes into the side of my head. The lesson couldn’t be over sooner. Five minutes etched past and I grew more eager. Seven minutes had quickly passed since I read the message and my body was tingling with nervous and excited energy. Nine minutes after I received Kevin’s message I noticed his slow movements as he carefully packed his stationery away. He was getting ready to leave. I copied his actions and packed my own bag. A minute later, Kevin left the classroom. I waited a few seconds and then I followed him. I walked out of the classroom quickly and towards the library. Just as I passed the first corner, I felt the familiar burn of a hand tight on me.

“Tori, wait up.” I turned and smiled at a beautiful pair of grey eyes.

“Kevin.” He smiled back at me and I could feel his fingers run up the length of my arm slowly and seductively.

“We’re okay right?” He asked with his forehead scrunched up and hope burning in his eyes.

“Yes, remember I said it’s all up to you now.” I reminded him and he frowned deeply.

“I wish you hadn’t.”

“Why not?” I questioned. Kevin's gaze fell to the floor and his features turned grim and rife with worry.

“It’s hard to decide.”

“What is there to decide?”

“It’s not easy what you’re asking me.”

I pulled my arm from his grip and placed my hands on my hips. “And what is it that I’m asking you Kevin?”

He frowned, “you know what it is.”

“I want you to tell me.”

“You want me to choose.” He stated.

“Did I ever say the word 'choose' Kevin? All I asked you to do was make up your mind. If you aren’t interested in me than kill my curiosity and tell me. If you are, then say so. All I asked was that you were honest. You’re the one who’s making it complicated because you’re still scared. You still don’t trust what we have, do you?” He looked away and I knew I was right. “Well in that case, maybe it’s a good thing we never did find out. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who can’t trust me and our relationship.”

I stormed away from him and to the library. I hurriedly found an empty table where I quickly unpacked my things. Two minutes later an angry looking Kevin joined me. We sat in silence as we worked on our project, only talking when we needed to while we kept a large distance between us. After three hours of work, our project was finally done. Every last detail had been triple checked before we placed into the required folder. Kevin said he would submit if for us so I started packing my bag and prepared to go home.

I was about to turn towards the parking lot after leaving the library, when Kevin stopped me. “What happens now, between us?” He asked.

I frowned, “you already decided that.”

“What is that supposed to mean? Are you saying because I chose to fulfil a promise I made to Chelsea of marriage, you’re not even going to consider being a part of my life? That’s childish Tori.” He snapped and I swolled my fear.

I clenched my fists in hope that the tears wouldn't fall. “No Kevin, what it means is that your refusal to give me an answer; whether in my favour or not, means that I refuse to associate with you in anyway.”

“Why?”

“Because your refusal means there’s still a part of you that’s holding on to what we had. You don’t want to have to tell me now because you don’t want to say no but at the same time, you’re too afraid to say yes. But guess what Kevin, I’m done being in the middle of your indecision. I’m done being played. Maggie’s birthday is in two days and I’d rather focus on that then your ability to hurt me constantly.” I stormed away from his pained face and walked away with what little dignity I had left.