Chapter 19

I had kissed Kevin.

I finally know what his lips feel like, what he tastes like and what he sounds like. He was better than I ever imagined. Kevin was usually calm and easy to be around but when he kissed, he turned primal. He was fierce when he kissed; the well mannered man left behind.

And, I loved every bit of it.

That was until Kevin ran away. Again. I was getting tired of his cowardice. I wanted a strong man who knew how to take charge and went for what he wanted, not Kevin who was afraid to accept the obvious. Unfortunately it seemed what my heart wanted and what my brain wanted were not in agreement. I had driven home in tears after he left me abruptly and with little explanation. It was because of Kevin that we still hadn’t completed our project. Actually that isn’t at all true. It’s because of Matt really but, Kevin didn’t help the situation.

My mother had been shocked when I arrived home earlier than expected. She had seen my hysterical state and wisely chose to keep her opinion to herself. I stormed to my bedroom where I knew Tommy lay asleep.

All it took was one look at his puffy belly rising and sinking to calm me down. I knew then that my prediction the day I met Tommy was correct. I had believed he would be mine and Maggie’s saving grace and I was right. Though Maggie may not be around anymore, while she were alive Tommy had been the very thing she needed to change her ways.

Unfortunately, no matter how great Tommy was, Maggie was still human and it was that very nature that caused her death. Maggie loved people and Tommy hadn't served as a big enough distraction for her. It saddened me that Maggie had been so easily influenced and manipulated that evening. That being said, Tommy was definitely my saving grace. I wasn’t quite sure where I would be without him.

Crying and depressed probably.

I had gone to bed that night calmly thanks to Tommy though sleep never arrived. I couldn’t sleep because every time my eyes closed, my mind would remember Kevin’s lips and my body would be alight with excitement. I had tossed and turned all night dreaming of Kevin and how great he felt, and then also remembering how horribly the night had turned. Matt hadn’t featured in my thoughts or attempted to contact me which was possibly the only thing to put a genuine smile on my face.

Sadly, my lack of sleep had left me grumpy and irritable the next day. By the time lunch had approached, my parents were frustrated with my frustration and kicked me out of the house. I was shocked.

Before slamming the door shut, my mother had thrown my car keys and handbag at me and screamed, “go do something to make you happy or find somewhere to sleep, just stop making everyone else’s day miserable!” My mother hardly ever screamed but when she did, you knew she had been pushed past her limits. I nodded, still scared and climbed in the car.

At first I didn’t know where I was driving to but after ten minutes of aimless travelling, I thought of a place that would brighten my day. I turned around and headed in the familiar direction. After about twenty minutes I was outside the now familiar large sign.

I sighed and exited the car. “Time to pay Dean a visit.” I mumbled and walked along the jaded concrete floor of Quick Fixes garage. My stomach churned as uneasiness and fear set up camp in my stomach. My throat burned with the threat of my anxiety preparing to make its presence known. I shook my head in an attempt to hide my hesitance and instead placed one foot before the other in preparation for a visit I was finding myself guilty of making.