Chapter 18

It was my first all nighter since losing Maggie, my first night away from Tommy. I was terrified to leave Tommy all alone but, knowing I would be able to spend hours alone with Kevin made it all seem worthwhile.

We had exactly three weeks to complete our project or it wouldn't be considered. It seems with the raging chemistry between both Kevin and I, getting work done deemed impossible. Now though, it was crunch time. Kevin had booked us a private room in the campus library, which was usually used for situations much like our own. Since we had a busy week of lectures, we decided to work on a Friday evening and not stop till our design was complete.

I was determined to keep my attraction under control, even though my fingers itched to touch him and my body craved the feel of his lips again. I could still feel the heat that radiated from his mouth as his soft lips touched elegantly on my tender and hormone induced flesh. I wanted so badly to have things go further between us but for the sake of our project and futures, it was probably wise that they didn't.

It was after five and I was ready to leave my house to meet Kevin. I loaded all my work tools and stationery into my car and made the dreaded walk to my mother. It was time to say goodbye. I had never understood why Maggie got so teary eyed when she had to leave Tommy with me for a few hours. Now I completely understood the torment. I knew I was going to miss him.

I wouldn't be the one to bathe him or feed him his dinner. I wouldn't be the one to put him to bed or hum him to sleep. The mundane and often overlooked tasks are the ones that matter the most. Tommy was growing and developing more and more everyday, which meant that every moment I wasn't near him, I risked the chance of missing a milestone. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happened. As a result, every goodbye seemed like a gamble, a gamble that tore my heart in two.

I reached for Tommy who my mother held in her arms. He gleefully fell into mine and I blinked profusely to stop the tears. It was the first time I would be missing an entire night with him. I hugged him to my chest, possibly more forcefully than needed, and kissed his head.

I pulled him away enough to look at his face. I tapped his nose with my finger and with a smile asked, "are you going to behave today little man?" He squealed and touched my face with his tiny hands. "I'm going to miss you my precious boy!" I choked and quickly kissed him on both cheeks before he saw me cry.

I was so happy that Maggie gave birth to an affectionate baby; he always loved to be hugged and kissed. It was a good thing considering how adorable he was. You couldn't look at him and not hug or kiss him. I kissed him once more and then gave him back to my mother who then quickly gave him to my father. My dad had to occupy him while I left so that he wouldn't notice my departure and break into soul destroying sobs.

"I should get going. You'll be alright alone with Tommy? His dinner is in the fridge, there are two but he prefers the potato and butternut one." I wrung my hands while glancing around the corner to where Tommy played with my father.

My mother grabbed my shoulders, "relax, it isn't as though I've never had to look after a child. I raised you and your siblings didn't I?" She asked amused.

I groaned and held my head in my hands, "I know. I'm sorry. I'm just nervous. Do you think I'm making a smart choice? Maybe it’s too soon. I should cancel."

"Tori. Relax. Everything will be fine. Go finish that project and win that internship." I sighed and nodded.

"You're right. I love you." I hugged my mother goodbye and walked to my car. "Kiss Tommy goodnight for me!" I called over my shoulder.

"I will. Now go!" My mother shouted back. I giggled and climbed in my car. Traffic was easy because of how late it was and my time to get to campus was cut in half. Soon I was walking into the library. I greeted the librarian and walked towards the closed door of the room we had booked. I opened it and sighed in relief when I saw Kevin's familiar and structured shoulders already hunched in a seat at the table.

"Hey beautiful." Kevin greeted after turning at the sound of the door opening, catching sight of me.

"Hi." I greeted shyly. I found the only other open seat and sat in it. I let my heavy bag drop to the floor with a loud thud.

"How are you?" He asked.

I frowned, "it was harder to leave Tommy than I thought."

"Why didn't you just bring him?"

I laughed, "he would distract us."

He chuckled and replied, "that's true, his adorableness is too much to handle."

I grumbled and looked at him. His attention was on his sketch book which gave me a chance to admire him. I had to be focused the rest of the evening so I was hoping to take a quick moment to be distracted.

I let out a small sigh as his muscles flexed as he erased a pencil line. His face was etched in concentration, his eyes squished together in frustration and thought. His pink lips were pushed to the one side of his face and then to the other while he moved his mouth around. It reminded me of my morning rituals when I would rinse my mouth with mouthwash.

“Are you done undressing me with your eyes?” Kevin smirked and I realised I had dazed out, my attention still on Kevin.

I cleared my throat, “don't flatter yourself.” He chuckled and threw me a wink. “So what are we doing today?”

He looked to his books and sighed. “So much! We haven’t even started on the final plans. I think we need to finalise our design and then get working on it.”

I groaned, “that’s so much. I’m not even in the mood to work. I just want to be home with Tommy.”

“I know Tori, I don’t want to work on a Friday either but we need to.”

“Oh alright. What’s first?” I asked.

“Entrance.” I nodded and moved my chair next to his. My elbow grazed his and the tingles stared again. I squirmed in my seat to hide my attraction. We had barely begun working and I was already distracted by everything that was Kevin. He smelled of peppermint and I licked my lips.

“So what angle do you think the arch should be?” Kevin whispered near my ear and I tensed in pleasure. I wanted to kiss him.

“I’m thinking the hands should face outwards.” I pointed on the page where I thought the hands should be. I was surprised I was even able to communicate properly with the amount of lust coursing through my veins.

“Great idea.” He mused. He picked his pencil up and drew a rough outline of my idea. “Like this?” I looked at the page and smiled.

“Exactly! It’s like you can read my mind.” I grinned to let him know I was joking.

He laughed and nudged my shoulder with his own. “Didn’t I tell you I understood the female mind?”

“Well if I remember, I did ask for proof.” I smirked, “looks like I finally got it.”

“I aim to please.” I snorted. You could please me any day. Crap! Did that thought really just enter my mind? I needed fresh air or cold water because at this rate, I was going to be a bumbling fool by the end of the evening.

My face, as I’d been told before, must have given away my thoughts because soon Kevin was giving me a perplexed look. I smiled to reassure him and was relieved when he smiled back and continued his work.

Four hours had passed where thankfully Kevin and I worked nonstop. We had managed to complete the entrance and outer design of the final piece. All we had left was to determine the interior and we were done. “I think we need a break Tori because I can’t feel my legs or my hands.”

I yawned and reached for my third cup of coffee. “I agree. At this rate my body is going to join my legs in a deep sleep. I can’t keep my eyes open.” I yawned again as proof of my exhaustion. “What time is it?”

He looked at his watch and groaned, “ten in the evening. I am so tired.” He paused. “You know what we need. We need to walk around and wake ourselves up.”

I moaned, “no! That sounds like too much work.” I let my head fall on the table and used my arm as a pillow. I sighed and closed my eyes. My eyes were so heavy, I couldn’t keep them open.

“No Tori. Come on sleeping beauty, wake up.” Kevin shook my shoulders roughly and my head wobbled around.

“Stop. You’re giving me whiplash you idiot.”

He grinned, “you need to stay awake.”

“I’m too tired.” I whined and yawned again. My eyes watered with the action.

He leaned in until his nose rested on mine. “I think I can find a way to keep you awake.” He whispered softly against me and my eyes shot open.

“Is that so?” I teased. He nodded and leaned in until I felt just a hint of his lips on mine but, as life would have it, we didn’t kiss. I wanted too, more than life, except we were interrupted. Again. The door banged open and we jumped apart. Kevin grumbled under his breath and I smiled. At least he was as upset as me. I looked towards the door ready to yell at the intruder when my breath caught. Fear paralysed my body instantly and I gulped.

Matt was here and, he was drunk.

“Matt.” I stammered. My body had gone cold and still. He had finally found me.

“Baby, I’ve been looking for you.” He hiccupped and his body swayed slightly.

“Who is this?” Kevin asked me. I took my eyes off Matt and looked to Kevin. His face had lost all humour and lust; instead his features were cold and hard. His eyes were heated but instead of desire, anger flared.

“He’s Matt.” I answered dumbly. “My ex.” I spat the word out so both Matt and Kevin would know exactly what I thought of Matt.

“Don’t talk like that babe!” Matt’s sloppy snare shook me and I swivelled my head in fear. His eyes were bloodshot and I could smell the Whiskey from my seat. Matt was always a heavy drinker. He preferred the hard liquor over the fruity drinks. It was one of the things that caused tension in our relationship.

“Don’t talk to her like that!” Kevin screamed as he stood up from his seat abruptly. The chair fell down with force and Kevin slammed his hands down hard for effect. I jumped but not from fear. Kevin never scared me, unlike Matt.

I looked to Matt who seemed as shocked as me at Kevin’s outburst. His one hand that rested in his jacket pocket moved and the more of his hand he exposed, the more of the brandy bottle I saw. I sighed.

Some things just never changed. “What are you doing here Matt and how did you get in here?”

He laughed menacingly, “I am a student here or have you forgotten?” He sneered and I felt sick.

“Why now?” I asked. He stepped forward but Kevin wasn’t having it. Kevin’s body was around the table in an instant and in front of me. He stood tall and with his arms folded over his chest. He had at least two inches over Matt as well as about ten kilograms in body weight. Matt didn’t stand a chance and with Kevin standing guard, he realised his options were limited.

“I’m here for her.” Matt leered at Kevin who seemed unfazed by Matt’s attempt at aggression.

“You aren’t going anywhere near her.” Kevin sneered back and it felt as though I were watching two male lions fight for dominance.

“What are you going to do about it?” Matt laughed. “I’m not afraid of you.”

Kevin snickered, “this.” He answered right before his fist went flying and connected with Matt’s nose. A loud crack broke through which was soon followed by my scream.

“Kevin!” I ran to Kevin who stood ready for a fight. I grabbed at his arms and tried to pull him. “What did you do?” I asked frantically. Matt sat curled up on the floor moaning and withering in pain. Crimson poured from his hands and I gasped. “He needs help.” I looked to Kevin.

“He needs to leave.” He spat. I pushed at his chest hard.

“Stop being so cold! He needs ice.” I demanded. Kevin sighed and left the room and I was left standing awkwardly watching Matt cry on the floor. He was a pathetic mess. Soon Kevin returned with a cold cloth and threw it at Matt on the floor. Matt snatched the cloth and grumbled. He winced when he touched it to his nose and made sure to loudly proclaim his agony with a few choice words.

He found his footing and stumbled until he was leaning against a wall for support. The cloth had already started turning red. “I just wanted to talk Tori.” He touched his nose again and winced, “dammit! You need to control your boyfriend.” I blushed and sighed in relief when no one noticed.

“I think you should leave Matt.” I reasoned.

He nodded, “not until you answer my question.”

I groaned, “I’m not getting back together with you.” The boy just couldn’t catch a hint.

He laughed bitterly, “I finally got the hint okay but that’s not why I’m here.”

“Then why are you here?” Kevin asked.

“I want to know why you never bothered to tell me I had a son!” Matt screamed and I choked on air.

“You don’t have a son!” I screamed. “At least not with me. Maybe you should be asking one of the many girls you cheated on me with.” I sneered.

“I heard you had a son. The timeline fits alright. Maybe you were unfaithful too.”

“What are you smoking this week? Who told you I had a son?”

“Happiness. He said he saw you at a restaurant with your family and a toddler.” Of course it was Matt’s roomate. World knew he had it out for me. I shook my head.

“He needs to stay out of my business.”

“I want to see my son. I’m not going to have some low life idiot boyfriend of yours be my boys’ father.” He pointed to Kevin and I could see the anger burn in his eyes. Before I had a moment to respond, Kevin had Matt up against the wall.

“If anyone is a low life it’s you.” Kevin pushed Matt’s head against the wall and I heard a loud thud. When Matt cried in pain, I didn’t say anything.

“Tell your boyfriend to lay off Tori!” Matt screamed and I laughed.

“Not going to happen. After that comment, you deserve to be put in hospital.” I smirked and stood by as Kevin repeatedly pushed Matt’s body further into the wall.

“Stay away from my girl!” Kevin snapped and I gasped. He called me his girl! I wasn’t sure if it was used to keep up with our ruse of dating or if in some way he was claiming me. Either way, I loved it!

“I want to know my son’s name and I’m not leaving till I do! Don’t think I won’t sue you.”

I grunted. I’d had enough. I pulled on Kevin’s arms silently asking him to release Matt. “Will you shut up for a moment?” I closed the gap between myself and Matt and made sure to keep Kevin near me in case Matt retaliated. “You are not a father, at least not by me. Two things smarty. Number one, I’m a virgin. We have and never will sleep together.” Matt’s eyes grew in surprise and I could see his mind work out the technicalities of my confession. “And two, Tommy is Maggie’s.”

“Why did you have him then?” He asked. His voice was calmer and quieter now that he knew he wasn’t a father.

“I’m his guardian.” My throat clenched and Kevin wrapped a comforting and protective arm around me.

“I see.” Matt thought for a moment and then straightened his clothes. “I always knew she was a whore. I just never thought she’d leave you to clean up her messes.” That was it. He was going to pay.

He just crossed the line.

I clenched my fists and just as Matt looked up, I slapped him hard across the cheek. “Get the hell out of here before I call security and have your sorry excuse of a life thrown in prison.” Matt slowly reached a hand up to his cheek. I had never defended myself or hurt Matt before. I knew my retaliation was what he needed to catch the hint. Kevin stepped forward threateningly and Matt instantly flinched. I smirked. Matt gave me one last hopeful look which I responded to by grabbing on Kevin’s arm. He frowned and left the room with his bloodied cloth in hand. Once he left, the room fell into a calm silence. The tension and hostility soon evaporated.

Once the shock and anger wore off, sadness and grief consumed me. I fell to the ground and wept. Kevin’s arms soon weaved around me while he rested his head a top mine and let me cry onto his shirt.

He knew what I was dealing with emotionally, I was sure of it. Kevin could read me from the first day we met. He murmured soothing words of encouragement and I tried to focus on the rumble of his voice. After some time had passed, my body convulsions eased and my tears slowed.

“Want to talk about it?” He asked quietly. I shook my head. “Then we won’t.” He was silent for a while as he continued to comfort me. “Just so you know; I don’t know what you ever saw in him.” I laughed.

“Me either.” I mumbled and pulled my head out from his shoulder. “How do you do that?” I asked, looking into his eyes.

“Do what?” He pushed a lock of hair out of my face.

“Make me feel better.” I answered.

He chuckled and ran a finger down the side of my cheek. “I’ll always be here to make you feel better.” His eyes shifted to my lips and I let my eyes follow his lead. His lips were parted and they were lush and tempting.

I was tired of guessing. Now was the time. I leaned in forward and sealed my lips to his. He froze under my touch and though I was discouraged, I ventured forward. I moved my lips against his and took the time to discover him. He hadn’t pushed me away so I continued to explore. He didn’t respond so I increased the pressure.

I was going to get a reaction from him.

I leaned into his chest and placed my hands on the planes of his broad muscles. I kissed him harder and let my tongue trail along the seam of his tightly sealed lips.

That did the trick.

Kevin grumbled and his arms wrapped around my waist. He started responding to my kiss with great force as though all his tightly kept energy had just been released. He nibbled on my bottom lip and I moaned into his touch. He pushed against my lips with his tongue, seeking entrance. I willing relented and sighed happily when his tongue hit the inside of my mouth.

I was on fire. Kevin kissed gloriously and I couldn’t understand why we waited so long. I tried to get closer but our position on the floor was awkward. Kevin broke the kiss and I whimpered at the loss. I feared realisation would hit him and he would want to end my fun. I was surprised when instead of running away; Kevin picked my legs up and straightened his own. He placed me on his hips so that I was straddling him and leaned in capturing my lips ravishly.

I yelped in surprise but it quickly turned into a long moan. His tongue invaded my mouth easily and we sat fighting for dominance until he won out. His tongue collided with mine ever so often and I clenched my legs. My stomach felt queasy in the most glorious way.

I broke the kiss and moved my head to his neck where I grazed his hot skin with my teeth. “Mmm, delicious.” I ran my tongue along his shoulder blade and grinned when he shuddered.

“Tori.” he breathed.

“Kevin.” I breathed his name out in the same seductive tone he had. Kevin cleared his throat and quickly pulled me off his lap. “What did I do?” I asked.

“Nothing.” He moaned. He sounded tortured.

“Then what’s the problem?”

He pulled his face in anguish. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.” He rose from the floor and went to pack his things away. This was not happening. I wasn’t going to let him walk away now that I knew what it felt like to have him.

“Oh no you don’t!” I shouted. “You do not get to walk away after what just happened.”

He frowned, “it shouldn’t have happened Tori.”

“Yes it should have. You can’t keep denying the chemistry we share.” I closed the gap between us and held his face in my hands. He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch. “We have something Kevin. Don’t walk away.” I whispered and reached up to kiss him lightly. He leaned into my kiss. After my lips left his, he rested his forehead on mine.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

He pulled away and reached for his things and I watched silently as he left the library along with my heart.