Chapter 9

I had a date. The idea seemed completely unreal. I hadn't been on a first date in three years. To say I was nervous was a drastic understatement. Dean had called the following day after our first meeting which surprised me. Hearing him ask me out to dinner to the new trendy uptown restaurant surprised me even more. I was reluctant to say yes at first. I wasn't looking for a relationship with anyone, not with the mess of a life I had. My real reason though was because I was scared.

Matt had hurt me by cheating on me countless times and Maggie had left me. There are few people I actually love and having two of them leave me, wounded me beyond repair. I couldn't handle falling for someone and giving them my heart, only to have them leave me.

My heart couldn't take anymore.

That being said though, Dean repaired my car for free so I owed him dinner at least. Kevin and I hadn't spoken since his apology by text and it saddened me. I had replied to him with a smiley face just to let him know we were okay. I thought we were but that was before he gave me the silent treatment and skipped the weeks' classes. I wasn't so sure anymore.

"Sweetie, can I come in?" I heard a soft knock on my bedroom door and then my mother's whisper.

"Sure." I replied. I continued to stare into my messy and unorganised cupboard hoping that the perfect outfit would jump out to me. It hadn't yet but I wasn't giving up.

"Can we talk for a moment?" That didn't sound good. I looked at my mother who sat poised and elegant against the backdrop of my filthy, clothes cluttered bed. I joined her on my bed and nodded. "I want to talk about your date."

"Do we have to?"

"Yes. Now Tori, are you sure you're making the right decision here? I mean it's really sweet of him to fix your car free of charge but you do not need to sell yourself in return. I would rather pay the bill then have you act as a prostitute."

I gasped. "Mother! How could you say that? I'm not a prostitute!"

"I never said you were Tori but providing companionship in return for services rendered is basically the same thing." My mothers' eyes were clear and her lips were thin and firm. She was dead serious.

"It isn't the same thing! He was flirting. He only paid for the repairs because he wanted a date which, he would still have done had I rejected him. It's a romantic gesture not a proposition. Gosh that is sick mother! I can't believe you would put me in that category."

"I never said you were a prostitute!" My mother shouted furiously.

"Not directly but you implied it!" I glared at my mother and made sure she knew how furious I was with her.

My mother sighed deeply and reached for my hand. "I'm sorry. I just want you to be careful. You have Tommy to consider now."

"And you think I'm not? I'm so tired of you and dad accusing me of not caring about Tommy or not considering him in my decisions. Every decision I make is for his benefit. I'm not looking for a relationship but I do need a life. I lost my best friend and it hurts everyday but I can't keep being a recluse. I just want friends. Maggie was my only one and I don't have her anymore." I wrapped my hands over my mothers' and stared at our joint hands. Her slightly wrinkled one stood out above my smooth pale one. "Let me do this please." I pleaded.

"I respect your decisions and, I'm going to trust you." I smiled and hugged my mother tight.

"Thank you. Now do you think you can help me find something to wear? I don't want to seem eager and give him the wrong impression but I don't want to look bad either. I need a friends outfit."

"I would love to! Where is he taking you?"

"Just Good Food." I grinned at my mother's fallen face.

"How did he get a reservation there? I have been trying for months."

"Apparently his cousin is the manager." I shrugged and began to dig through my cupboard. I found my favourite dress and held it up for inspection.

"I take back what I said. You could use a friend like him."

I laughed, "you just want to use him to get into the restaurant." My mother blushed and stepped towards the dress I held in my hands.

"I always loved this dress on you. You should wear it."

I frowned, "I don't think so."

"I know it was Maggie's last gift to you. I know it hurts muffin but I think it's the perfect outfit. You're about to start a new friendship and what better way to do it than to have your best friend close to you when you do." I never thought of it like that.

I stared at the royal blue satin material and let my eyes follow the seams creating the design. The dress was long and usually reached just above my ankles. The neckline dipped in the centre making the shape of a heart on my bust. It was strapless but I was able to pull it off. The dazzling sparkled neckline made the dress perfect for both formal and informal events.

"This dress it is." My mother beamed next to me.

"Make sure you put on a coat." I nodded and soon I was alone in the room again. After a quick inspection for stains or lose threads on the dress, I pulled it over my head and let the material fall gracefully down the length of my body. I reached for my thick black leather jacket and tugged it on. I looked in the mirror and smiled. Even with half of my outfit done, I looked good. The dress emphasised my nutmeg hair and pale skin. I looked sexy and confident. Two things I never felt.

I had just completed my makeup when my father knocked on the door. "Tori, Dean is here."

"Oh, great. Thanks dad." I grabbed my purse and followed my father to where I could hear Dean talking to my mother. I felt a little embarrassed to have my date fetch me at my house and be interrogated by my parents at my age but, then I remembered that it wasn't a date with romantic intentions, no matter how hot I thought Dean looked. And boy did he!

Dean wore faded navy jeans with a tight black turtleneck. I wasn't usually a fan of turtlenecks on guys but Dean pulled it off. The woolly material hugged his now obvious sculpted body and took the attention away from his bald head. His jeans hugged his rear, a rear I was tempted to grab.

"Tori, hi. You look beautiful." Dean reached for me and placed a soft peck on my cheek.

"Hi dean, you look handsome." He grinned and my stomach somersaulted. He extended his hand for me and I gladly placed my own in his. I said farewell to my parents and followed Dean to his car. I wasn't all too surprised to see a smart looking car in the driveway. He was after all a car man. Dean opened my car door and extended a helpful hand for me to use as I fell into the low car. I collected my dress and folded the extra material between my legs. Dean soon found his seat and started the car.

The car ride was silent which made me nervous. I wasn't very good at small talk but I needed to try. "Have you ever been to 'Just Good Food' before?" I asked.

Dean smiled in my direction, "only once before, just as they opened. Alex, my cousin, invited me and a few buddies of mine to be amongst the first customers at the opening. The chef, Eduardo Romano, is the best Italian chef in the country and his food shows it. The complete Italian menu is something out of this world and the elegant but homey atmosphere just makes you feel relaxed and welcomed."

"You should be a restaurant critic," I teased making Dean grin sheepishly. "The place sounds great. I've never had authentic Italian food before."

"A virgin huh?" I blushed. I was a virgin in more ways than one but, he didn't need to know.

"I guess. Tell me more about the restaurant. How did your cousin get involved?"

"He's been in the restaurant business since high school. He's the only person I know who is passionate about the running of restaurants. He's organised and efficient which has led him to where he is today." I smiled. Dean continued to gush about the restaurant and his cousin until we reached the restaurant. Even though Dean dominated the conversation, I was enjoying myself. It felt great to be out with people my own age again. I forgot how great it felt to live.

"Are you ready?" I looked to Dean and nodded. He led us into the building towards the hostess table.

"Good evening, do you have a reservation?" I heard Dean answer the middle aged woman but I was too focused on staring at the scene before me to care. The place was beautiful. Large golden chandeliers hung from the ceilings casting a hushed yellow haze over the bustling restaurant. The walls were white with a pale green stripe running horizontally across, separating the walls into halves. Small tables were spread about allowing for an intimate experience. A low hum of happy patrons could be heard.

We were quickly ushered to our table which thankfully sat against a window overlooking the city. Bright lights illuminated the roads and faint twinkles of white light could be seen through the darkness from the few stars out in the sky. The full moon shone fierce above us acting as a spotlight on the city nightlife. I continued to stare out the window as Dean ordered a glass of their house wine for us both.

"I don't drink," I interrupted. "I'll just have a cappuccino." I told the waiter. Our waiter nodded and rushed away.

"You don't drink?" Dean looked shocked which I expected.

"It isn't good for you." I answered. I used to drink but after losing Maggie to a drunken car accident, I was put off for life. Dean nodded and thankfully dropped the conversation. "It's beautiful isn't it?" I murmured; my eyes focused on the view before us.

"It is." I looked to Dean but saw him staring at me instead of out the window. I blushed.

"Look Dean I should probably come clean. I don't want to lead you on but, I have no intentions for this date to become anything more. I just want to be friends."

Dean sat silent for a moment examining his fork and then cleared his throat. "Can I ask why?"

"I know you deserve a chance but I'm not at a place in my life where I can handle a relationship."

He snorted, "that's just girl talk for 'I'm not really into you.'"

I reached across the table and held his hand. "That's not true, in fact I find you quite irresistible. I've just gone through losing someone close to me and I'm not ready to open myself up yet. I need time to heal first."

"I understand. I'm bummed because you really are gorgeous but, if friends is all you can handle then that's what I'll take." Our waiter returned and placed our drinks on the table and then left. Dean lifted his wine in the air and looked at me expectantly. "I'd be honoured to be your friend Tori. Here's to friendship."

I grinned at him and rose my glass with his, "to friendship." I repeated with a happy heart.