Chapter Twenty Nine-"I was hoping it would"

~Dedicated to special moments in life that last forever~

Chapter Twenty-Nine

It was one of those moments where everything was going wrong. Was I being transported back to the day where every one of my senior class laughed at me because of Matt? The answer to that was not only simple, but it was painful and only made my eyes sting even more with tears. I stood on the pavement, unable to speak because I didn’t trust my sobbing voice and shivering slightly from the cold night air in front of Sean who had stopped his bike to scan my face.

I felt horrid. It was like all this popularity transformation had been for nothing. Dave had cancelled our date but in the process he had crushed my whole confidence levels which weren’t that impressive to start off with in the first place. I felt stupid and alone and all I wanted to do was run home to Mr Wiggles and burst into tears. Not that I wasn’t crying at that very moment. I must have looked like some distressed teen from those cliché movies about that nerd trying to be a popular girl.

“What happened to you?” Sean asked, prying me away from my depressing thoughts.

I swallowed a lump which seemed to clog my throat painfully, before I answered, “Nothing, I’m fine.”

Sean cut off the ignition before he made his way towards me. Frowning, he took hold of my hands in his and looked me in the eyes. I sniffled slightly before realising that me being brave and pretending that everything was okay; was not something I could keep doing anymore. I wasn’t confident, I wasn’t brave or even that cool. Heck, I couldn’t even speak to boys properly and most of all, I was a failure of a girlfriend.

“You’re a bad liar Lanter,” Sean replied softly before he rubbed my arms and asked, “You’re cold?”

I nodded slowly and didn’t protest when Sean slipped off his signature leather jacket and pulled it around my shaking shoulders with a tight smile against his lips. He reached forward and ran a finger under my eyes, wiping away any traces of tears. Tilting my face up, he inspected my face once again before smiling only this time it was a genuine smile. Dropping his hands to mine, he pulled me into a warm hug allowing me to inhale his strong musky scent.

“What did Dave do?” Sean asked as he held onto me.

I felt my shoulders slump as I heard Dave’s name and the tears sting at my eyes again. Why was I even crying? This is my fault. All of this is my fault. If I had just spent more time with Dave instead of spending my time with Sean and pretending that Dave was fine with it then none of this would be happening. I would be happy, I would still have… A lone tear rolled down my cheek and I wiped at it quickly before pulling away.

“He…uh…” I trailed off, trying to think of an excuse but decided against it, “He cancelled the date.”

Sean’s eyes narrowed before he replied in a cold tone, “Did he call you before?”

I glanced down at my shoes then replied in a defeated tone, “He texted me.”

Sean’s grip tightened slightly around my fingers before he turned around and led me to his bike. I squinted in the dimness of the night before reluctantly accepting Sean’s hand as he helped me onto his bike. He slipped on his helmet over my head before clipping it securely and gave me another tight-lipped smiled then slid in effortlessly in front of me. Waiting until I had securely tightened my arms around his hard-muscled torso, Sean revved the engine and before I knew it we had taken off into the night streets.

I could feel the air soaring past us as Sean sped up and weaved in between a few cars causing adrenaline to pump through my body and my heart to beat faster. I felt like I was spinning out of control with my life finally plummeting into a mass of chaos as Sean came to stop in front of my house that was now empty since my mother was with Jeff and I was supposed to be staying with my father. But the thought of even seeing Amanda at a time like this made my stomach twist uncomfortably.

“Where’s your mother?” Sean asked, as he helped me off the bike.

My blue eyes narrowed slightly and I cursed inwardly for the lack of sight as I replied in a croaky voice, “She’s with Jeff.”

“So you’re alone?” Sean asked.

I nodded as he pulled off the helmet from my head and smoothed down my hair. I froze slightly his touch as it sent a slow tingle down my spine and bit my lower lip. Now was not the time for my body to be acting against my mind. It was because of this with Sean that Dave was probably thinking about getting someone prettier to date, someone who actually deserved to date him; somebody such as Amanda.

Slowly I walked to the front door before I dug around under our front door mat for the spare key. I frowned as I missed the keyhole and after a few failed attempts to unlock the door, Sean took the key from my hand and pushed the wooden door open. I swallowed another sob as I walked in and flipped the light switch on, illuminating the darkened hallway that looked just as desolate as my chest was feeling. Biting my lower lip to stop another tear from rolling down my cheek, I turned to face Sean and offered him a small smile as I slipped off his jacket and handed it to him.

“Thanks Sean,” I whispered, my voice betraying my brave front, “sorry about the inconvenience.”

Sean scowled, “It wasn’t an inconvenience,” he replied.

He glanced down at my outstretched hand holding his jacket before sighing, “Look Lanter, I could stay with you if you want?”

I looked up slightly before my eyes came into contact with his hazel ones. I didn’t need my glasses to see the sincerity in them that showed that he meant every word he said. It was in that very moment which I felt my eyes welling up in full blown waterworks. My shoulders shook as I began to cry. The tears seemed to flow faster when I felt Sean’s arms wrapping around my shoulders and this time, he didn’t let go.

Nearly half an hour later, I found myself being shoved into my room by Sean with the order to change into something more comfortable. In my room, I dug around my drawer until I found my glasses and slipped them on before I wiped off my makeup and washed my face and then slipped into my comfy sweatpants and baggy shirt I remember using when Matt made a fool out of me in front of the entire school. I cast a glance at Mr Wiggles on my bed before I slowly made my way to the kitchen where I found Sean.

He looked at ease in a plain white t-shirt that hugged his masculine frame as he stirred at something over the stove. A frown took hold of my lips as I slid onto the small seat at the kitchen counter and leaned forward. My nose was stuffy and my eyes were burning like hell from all the crying but after a good lecture to myself in the mirror and of course a few hugs from Sean, I was feeling a bit better about myself.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

Sean paused slightly before tossing me a quick look then smiled slightly as he answered, “I thought you’d be hungry.”

I chewed on my lower lip as I forced away the thought of being alone at the restaurant with just Juliet’s father for company and nodded, “Yeah I am.”

Sean smiled a wide smile as he spoke, “Well then you’re in for a treat.”

Resting my head in my hand, I asked, “Where did you learn to cook?”

Sean shrugged as the oil splattered in a pan and he added what looked like mushrooms before he replied, “Oh you know.”

“No I don’t,” I retorted, “I don’t know all that much about you in fact.”

Sean froze then replied in a less playful tone, “Lily, she uh,” he frowned, “took a class in cooking and forced me to be her assistant.”

“Oh,” I replied, suddenly regretting what I had just said.

Why did I say that? Isn’t it obvious Viv, it’s so clear you’re just trying to find out about his mother. You know it’s killing you to know what the whole situation with Sean and his mother; after all he did sneak out that once after he found out she was coming to visit. And there was that time when Lily said that Sean was still angry with the fact of their mother marrying his close friend. Face it Viv, even at your worst, you’re still a nosy little nerd.

“I’m sorry,” I apologised, “I didn’t mean to say that,” I added, “it’s none of my business after all-”

Sean cut me off, “No you’re right Lanter,” he added a white sauce to the pan as he continued, “I should tell you all about me. I mean, you’ve told me about your family and the least I can do is the same.”

I chewed on my lower lip as I replied, “Seriously Sean, I didn’t mean to be so rude after-”

“Stop apologising,” Sean interrupted, “it’s cool.”

Mentally I slapped my forehead and decided to change the subject to something I hoped would make up for me being so nosy even though it pained me to do so. Sucking in a deep and reassuring breath, I began, “He texted me to say that he couldn’t make it.”

Sean turned to face me and I noticed his mouth had thinned into a set line. Ignoring the hopeless feeling that was slowly emerging in my chest I continued, “I got to the restaurant early and I was hoping he would have been there, waiting for me.”

“And he wasn’t,” Sean spat.

Nodding, I sucked in another breath as I spoke, “He wasn’t. But I mean, I was there and I thought that maybe he was running a little late and that’s when I saw the rose and,” I suddenly stopped then raised my eyes to meet Sean’s which looked nervous, “Did you give me the rose Sean?”

The man in front of me shrugged it off as he turned his attention back to the stove as he answered, “I couldn’t say good luck beforehand so I decided to send you a rose.”

I smiled softly then replied, “That was sweet of you.”

Another shrug from Sean as he asked, “Do you want white sauce with your food?”

I scanned the pasta with seafood and diced up vegetables before nodding as I spoke, “Really Sean, it meant a lot.”

Sean finally looked me in my eyes and replied, “I was hoping it would.”

Swallowing a lump, a smile took hold of my lips and I leaned forward against the counter then replied softly, “I sat for an hour waiting for Dave to come and that’s when he texted me. I decided to go home then-”

“Didn’t Jules’ father offer you a ride home?” Sean asked in an annoyed tone as he placed the plate of pasta in front of me.

Shrugging I answered, “He didn’t know about Dave.”

“Lanter,” Sean began, “you could have gotten yourself killed on the street like that.”

I twirled my fork against the pasta and said sincerely, “But I didn’t,” looking up and smiling at Sean, I added, “You were there to save me.”

“I’m supposed to be at my father’s house,” I whispered into the darkness, as I rested against Sean in my bed.

“He’ll understand,” Sean replied before he added, “I suppose you’re dying to know about my mother now?”

I bit back a quick ‘yes’ and replied, “I told you, I shouldn’t have said that Sean. You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to.”

Sean pulled the duvet higher up our bodies as he spoke, “No, I want to tell you and besides that you deserve to know.”

Leaning back against my pillow and holding Mr Wiggles tighter to my chest, I looked up at Sean patiently, waiting for him to begin. I scanned Sean’s face in the darkness. The only thing which illuminated his face was the light which seeped through the crack from under the door. Even in the dimness and no glasses on, I could see that Sean was devastatingly handsome. His hair looked messy from lying against my pillow and his shirt was crumpled, but other than that, he looked better than I knew I did.

“It started back in England,” Sean spoke, his voice sounding indifferent as though he was refraining from letting any emotion to enter his tone, “and my parents were going through a rough patch.”

“I’m sorry,” I offered lamely.

Sean shrugged, as he continued, “I suppose I was partly to blame for it. I mean, I was going out to all sorts of parties with my best friend Lance and we,” he swallowed, “got into trouble with the police a few times.”

“What for,” I asked curiously.

Sean laughed but it sounded strained, “Oh you know, vandalism, theft and drinking underage.”

My arms tightened against Mr Wiggles as I asked, “And then what happened?”

“And then,” Sean replied in a cold tone, “dad said that he needed a break.”

I reached out and took hold of Sean’s hand before squeezing his fingers gently.

“Mum freaked out but instead of talking through with us what was happening she decided to have a little fling,” Sean continued bitterly, “with the person I thought I could trust the most.”

“Oh no,” I breathed out, “Lance?”

Sean replied through gritted teeth, “They were having a thing for three months and all the while I was blaming myself for my parents’ divorce.”

“That’s awful Sean,” I replied, not knowing what else to say.

Sean sucked in a breath as he spoke, “And that’s when I really did something bad.”

Looking up at Sean’s face, I spoke softly, “It’s okay if you don’t-”

Sean ignored me as he continued, “I found out about Lance and my mother. I was snooping around Lily’s phone and saw a text from mum apologising about the whole affair and that’s when I lost it.”

My hold on Sean’s hand tightened as he continued, “I marched over to Lance’s house and went into his room and found him there playing a video game like he was banging my mother all those months.”

“Sean,” I started but stopped when Sean gave me a look that was so vulnerable that I let him finish without interrupting.

“I punched Lance so hard that I broke his nose,” Sean spat, “but that wasn’t enough, I kept hitting him over and over until I was pulled off by his father.”

I tried picturing Sean punching his ex-best friend but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t.

“They called the cops and after my father had heard,” Sean spoke, “he decided the best thing would be to move here.”

For a moment, we leaned against my bed in silence with the only sounds coming from a few, odd cars which passed by on the road and our breathing. Slowly, I turned to face Sean and noticed that he was staring at the ceiling with a scowl on his face. I reached out, letting my fingers brush against his cheek slowly, which caused him to tense under my touch and turn to look at me.

“I’m sorry Sean,” I breathed out, “if I could take it all away, I would but you know I can’t.”

Sean offered a small smile then replied, “If you did take it away then I wouldn’t have met you Vivienne.”

I smiled slightly as I leaned closer against Sean and whispered, “Thanks Sean.”

Sean’s fingers stroked my hair and he replied, “Don’t let Davey get to your head Lanter, the guy’s a fool if he cancelled the date with you.”

Swallowing a lump, I asked, “You mean that?”

Sean nodded and spoke softly, “Of course I mean that.”

I sighed, biting back a sob, “Thank you for everything Sean.”

Brushing a loose strand away from my face, Sean responded easily, “You’re worth more than what he deserves.”

I rang the doorbell feeling nervous. My blue eyes cast a glance at Smokey who was now awake and staring at me with her bright and alert cat eyes as though she knew I had stayed the night away from my father’s house. Sean had long since gone back home, after all, his mother was arriving today and I really didn’t want to be the one who kept him from seeing his mother no matter how strained their relationship was. A few seconds passed and I threw another look at Smokey who had a smug look on her face.

I scoffed, “What like you haven’t stayed away from home before?”

Smokey meowed.

“It wasn’t like I did anything wrong,” I replied, “We just talked okay.”

Smokey yawned before she licked her paw and threw me another look.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I retorted, then added under my breath, “God I’m talking to a cat.”

The door opened then only to reveal a panicked looking Edward. His hair was dishevelled and his eyes had heavy eye bags under them as though he hadn’t slept in ages. Instantly relief flooded his features as soon as he spotted me. He stepped outside onto the porch before he shut the door and turned to me with a frown on his lips. Here it goes Viv; he’s going to tell you that he doesn’t want to be in your life anymore.

“Vivienne,” he breathed out, “you’re safe.”

“I’m sorry,” I apologised, “I was going to call you but I,” I swallowed thinking about Dave, “I forgot.”

Edward reached out and took my hand in his as he led me to the small bench on the side of the porch, where Smokey sat cleaning herself. Turning to scan my face, Edward asked, “Were you with your boyfriend last night?”

I bit my lower lip and then replied honestly, “No.”

“Where were you Vivienne?” he pressed.

I sucked in a breath as I spoke, “I was at home with Sean.”

“Sean,” he repeated then gave me a curious look, “alone?”

“Nothing happened,” I began then cast a glance at Smokey staring at me, “Sean just took me home because…”

“Because,” Edward prompted.

Running a hand over my face I replied, “Because Dave cancelled the date at the last minute.”

“He did,” Edward asked in concern.

“Yes and I,” I spoke hesitantly, “I uh…”

Edward touched my arm then smiled a smile that I found reassuring, “It’s okay Vivienne. I’m not going to judge you.”

“I was walking home and Sean was going past so he gave me a ride home,” I replied, “and we talked.”

“And are you feeling any better now?” he asked.

I found my lips curving into a smile as I answered, “Yes I am.”

“Okay,” Edward replied with a smile of his own as he stood, “let’s go get you some breakfast and you know, tell everyone else you’re not dead.”

My eyes widened in shock as I asked, “You didn’t call mum right?”

Edward looked shocked as he asked in fake horror, “Your mother? I forgot all about her!” he leaned closer then whispered under his breath, “Don’t you worry Vivienne; this will be our little secret.”

I meant it as I replied, “For someone who was absent for nearly my entire life, you’re a pretty awesome dad.”

And that’s when I hugged my father for the first time.

A/N Hi Geeklings :) A new chapter! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it, remember to vote, comment and spread the word! Six chapters and an epilogu left. Six days left until the 'end of the world'!

xoxo

Mona-Mae <3