Chapter One - "What are doing, getting condoms from Annie?"

Have you ever wanted to disappear? You know that moment when everyone was staring at you while you blushed so much, you were asked if you had a fever? Or when you stood in front of the entire cafeteria, gawking at the boy you loved for the past three years of your miserable life? Well that was happening to me and I was probably the most laughed at girl at Redwood High.

I should start from the beginning. The very beginning. You know, when everything in my life spiralled out of control and I went from geeky nerd to the gum that stuck under your shoes and you scraped off with an indifferent shrug. My name's Vivienne. Vivienne Lanter that was and if you asked any of my teachers about me, they'd probably tell you that I never existed.

Yes, you did just read that right. I was that unpopular. It wasn't like I was hard to miss, I just chose to stay away from the limelight that was high school popularity and friendships that lasted for the brief years before university. My best friend swore it was because I blended into the walls, with my baggy clothes and possibly the worst looking glasses a girl could own. It didn't help matters that I was a VL – virgin lips – someone who had never, ever kissed anyone in their life and probably, never would.

It was truly sad when I was about to turn eighteen, a senior that teachers didn't notice and still I hadn't kissed a boy. It was even worse when everyone knew that I hadn't kissed a boy. But there was something far worse than that. I could talk about my arch enemy or the fact that she had chosen me as her little pick-me-up whenever she was feeling particularly nasty. Or I could talk about how I lied for most of my life about living some sort of life in movies, to save my horrid reputation as a wallflower with no life. But the real issue of how everything happened, started with Matt.

Matt Jacobs, also known as the hot football player who lived next door to me ever since I could remember. He had the usual messy brown hair that flopped just perfectly over his forehead and eyes so green that you could get lost in them for hours. He was attractive and smart and all the things that you'd imagine your dream guy having, but more importantly he was also my friend. Well ex-friend ever since we joined the big, bad world or in simple terms, high school.

Most girls, or perhaps me, dreamt of having a guy friend to talk to about almost anything. And then you'd slowly develop a crush on him and before you know it, you're falling head over heels in love with him and then you admit your feelings and he admits that he likes you back and everything turns out peachy perfect and you get married, have a few kids and die happily together.

Well Matt was that to me, except things didn't go as I planned. Instead of Matt admitting that he liked me back, he told me to be realistic. We were like brother and sister, not that it mattered, because I knew what he really meant. His eyes had said it all when he looked at me and told me, "Viv, you're like my sister," which could be translated to, "Yeah right Viv, have you looked at us lately? I'm hot and you're clearly not."

To say that I didn't cry and smiled at him would be a lie. I just nodded at Matt and walked back to my room with this sort of forced smile and cried my eyes out until it was supper and then instead of eating mum's special lasagne, I stuffed my face with chocolate ice-cream and watched the Titanic until midnight. I probably could have handled my supposed heartbreak better, like maybe telling Matt that it was all a joke and that I could never love him. Although, that was a lie.

A few weeks back, Matt came up to me at lunch and told me something that made me grin like an idiot. And since I was still crushing on him, I never really noticed the snickering of the popular girls who had taken my space at Matt's usual table. Okay, I suppose I should have noticed the girls snickering and staring at me since they were sitting at the table next to me and they were being obvious about it, but I had been so happy that Matt was talking to me after everything that I didn't pay it any mind.

As I sat there, at the cafeteria table, eating the leftover pizza mum ordered because she had been too busy getting ready for her date to take care of her daughter, Matt asked me the question that would change my life forever. Only then, I didn't realise that it was going to change for the bad.

Wearing his killer smile, he asked me, "Vivienne, will you be my date to Mock Prom?"

Mock Prom was a pre-prom dance. It was supposed to be a practice run for the real thing where all the seniors got to dress up and go to, except it was a lot more casual and girls didn't have to worry about getting fancy nails and hair dos, not that I was complaining, at least I'd have an excuse to get contacts.

So stupidly I agreed to go with Matt. I was so nervous that I could barely talk to Matt without smiling and giggling. For the first time in years, something was finally going right in my life and I was determined to make it last for as long as I could. That day, when I told my mother about it, she just gave me a look that said I was wrong but really, if a hot guy who you'd been crushing on since forever asked you out, you would totally ignore your mother. I blamed my hormones, because if I didn't, it would mean that this was all my fault.

So I went shopping with my best friend Juliet and we both bought really amazing dresses to wear. Juliet, unlike me was the prettiest and kindest girl I've ever known. With red hair and long legs, she was the opposite of me in the good looks department. But Juliet wasn't like other girls. We'd become friends years ago when we had been made partners on a group project and ever since then, we'd been inseparable. She understood me, even when I was a babbling mess and she supported even my craziest ideas.

"You are so lucky!" Juliet squealed, when she heard about Matt asking me out.

I was excited too. It was finally happening. I was going to a dance with Matt and I couldn't help but wonder if it was going to be the night that I finally lost my virgin-lips status. Juliet had convinced me to get a white dress and heels that made me wobble when I walked, but I didn't care. If it meant that I could look good when Matt finally asked me to dance with him then it would have all been worth it. I even managed to curl my untameable hair. The result was that I looked more presentable than normal and it was difficult to process that the girl I was looking at, was really me.

But my mother still didn't like the idea of me going to Mock Prom with Matt. She knew that I had cried myself to sleep by watching Titanic and she also knew what a jerk Matt could be and so she didn't get me contact lenses I really, really wanted. The idea that I'd be wearing glasses to a dance with Matt made me a little anxious. What if they slipped off while I was dancing? What if they got in the way of kissing Matt? So I did the only thing that I could have thought about.

I left my glasses behind and went to Mock Prom. If I could take it all back, I would have. Not wearing my glasses meant that my vision was somewhat blurry and I could barely see more than a few feet away from where I stood. But all I could think about was Matt and how perfect everything would be when we finally danced. I arrived at school, with Juliet since Matt had asked me to meet him at the boys' locker room for a surprise. I didn't know what to expect, a kiss perhaps or maybe that Matt had finally realised that he loved me back, but whatever it was, it made my stomach twist in knots.

I left Juliet who promised to meet me at the gym and made my way to the boys' locker rooms. It was opposite our school gym, where Mock Prom was being held and if anyone wanted to, they could see right into the locker rooms if they just looked. I was tempted to ditch Matt just to peek into the gym, but then I chastised myself at my priorities because Matt definitely came first at that moment.

Lifting up my white dress, I walked over to the boys' lockers room. Because my vision wasn't the best I bumped into someone. It wasn't the smoothest thing to have done but I was so eager to see Matt that I didn't even notice that person I bumped into was the horrid pain of my existence, Jessica. She was gorgeous to say the least and she knew it. I wasn't sure what exactly I had done to her, but whatever it was, it had made Jessica hate me more than most people she hated.

The fact that Jessica was also behind the boys' lockers and not in the gym should have had alarm bells going off in my head but I ignored her and made my way into the locker room until I finally spotted Matt. Even with my blurry vision I could see that Matt looked good. But what came next had me completely unprepared for crying.

Matt only asked me to Mock Prom as a dare.

My breathing stopped there and then and I wished I could have died on the spot, because not only had I made a complete fool out of myself but Jessica was Matt's real date and she was using my corsage which I helped Matt pick out. It hurt a lot, initially I was in too much of shock to even comprehend what was going on but once it sank in, all I wanted to do was cry.

My body was numb, I was numb and so was my mind. I made my way into the gym, dead set on finding Juliet and getting away from Mock Prom. It was Juliet that made me realise how silly I was acting. So what if Matt asked me out on a dare? I still looked good and I had killer heels that Jessica would never be able to pull off. Sometimes your friends lie just to keep you from getting hurt. Juliet was doing that then and I believed her.

It only took a pep talk from her to make me realise that Jessica didn't deserve Matt but more importantly she didn't deserve the corsage that I chose. No matter what I looked like, I marched over to Jessica, intent on asking her to apologise politely and sensibly and then we'd move on with our lives and live happily ever after.

That was a lie. Long story short, I marched over to Jessica, who was standing next to the drinks table and I punched her. Or at least, I tried to punch her. I missed her completely and hit the table. My heels weren't the most stable, so I ended up falling flat onto the floor, covered in a sticky mess that had once been the drinks on the table. And that's when the lights went on and everyone ended up seeing me there, with my white dress pulled up to my hips revealing my pink underwear.

And that was how my life ended.

Fast-forward to my current situation and it wasn't any better. Making that deal with Sean had been an act of desperation and one that I didn't want to go through with, so instead of meeting up with Sean like I had promised him, I was hiding in the music room. There was no way that I could be out there, when everyone still remembered so vividly what had happened. Especially not when I would be with Sean Gregory.

Sean Gregory. A senior that was notorious for being a womanizer and who spoke with a slight British accent that had girls so eager to forget their morals that I was surprised none of them had pounced on him yet. Did I just think that? I should be sent to prison for having these thoughts about guys, it's obvious that I'm going to end up being those old ladies destined to live with nine cats one day.

Anyways Sean was known for joining the school newspaper team and for also being the school's designated bad boy. He was relatively new here in Redwood, moving here after his parents split up and his dad got a job here as some CEO of some marketing company, but he was the total badass boy. You know the type you stay away from?

He even sported the leather jacket and combat boots and occasionally rode his motorbike to school, choosing today as one of them. Again another reason why I'm hiding in the music room from him because no matter how desperate I had been to get popular, I was seriously having second thoughts and Sean wasn't exactly the easiest to be around.

I heard my phone ringing and I picked it up before it gave away my hiding spot.

"Hello?" I whispered, not recognising the number.

"Where are you Lanter?"

I froze, squealing in horror as I heard the voice. Breathe Viv, just say that you've gone home and you're sick. No better, say that the deal is off, go on, just tell him!

"I-I-" I stuttered. "I'm sick with uh, chickenpox and my nose is bleeding and I can't make it."

There was a sigh before a reply came, "I know you're still in school Lanter. I haven't seen you leave it since health class. What are you doing, getting condoms from Annie?"

I gasped, "No I am not getting condoms from Miss Brown!"

"Hey, I can see you from here," he replied.

My eyes widened as I dropped to my hands and knees, crawling towards the window. Peeping over I scanned the almost empty parking lot with a frown. "No you can't, because I can't see-"

The door to the music room flew open and I jumped back in shock. I spun around and stared up at Sean, who held his phone to his ear and cocked a dark eyebrow at me. He smirked at me, which made my insides feel funny. I was probably sick. It had to be the feeling of nausea from seeing him because I couldn't possibly like him at all.

"Nice hiding spot," Sean snorted, "but if you don't mind, I have places to be, so get your butt off the floor and come on."

Say no Viv, what's the worst he can do?

"Where to?" I asked.

Yeah, listen to your instincts instead of logic, look where it got you with Matt! I cringed, wanting to flee the country and never look back.

"Shopping, salon whatever you need to do to look good," Sean answered in a matter of fact tone.

"Why?" I questioned, while standing up.

"To get started with operation get cool," Sean replied with a grin.

"Huh?"

Yes, you're really smart Viv, just standing there with your one word questions.

"I meant what operation?" I asked more soberly. "Do you mean a surgery? Wait, are you just using me to sell my kidney on the black market?"

Sean stared at me as though I had lost my mind. Maybe I had lost my mind. Maybe I was dreaming and at any second, I'd wake up in three, two, one...

"You honestly don't think that you're going to get popular using that," Sean answered, staring down at me, "no offense."

I scoffed, "Some people like the way I dress."

Sean laughed, "Yeah who? Your mother?"

I rolled my eyes, tugging at my shirt. "What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing, if you like dressing like a granny," Sean laughed. "So you see my point on why we've got to get you looking better, right? You do want to make Matt see what he lost, right?"

Tell him no Viv, tell him that you've got some disease or something, just tell him no!

"Uh, yes," I mumbled.

Sean smiled triumphantly. "Good then, now since that's settled, you'll be needing this," he handed me a helmet, "let's go."

Wait, why would I need a helmet unless- Oh God no! I was not riding on the back of his bike!

***

Author's Note:

Thanks everyone for sticking around and reading! Editing is underway so I do apologise if some things seem out of order or if there are plot holes between chapters. Anyways, if you enjoyed reading, make sure to vote, comment and spread the word! Thanks for your support!

-Mona