13

~Ali~

For a moment I am blinded - by fear or the wind or maybe just because I closed my eyes at the time - but everything goes black and all I can feel is the movement of my stomach pressing up against my lungs, pushing everything into my diaphragm until my throat feels crushed and no sound can escape. I imagine the feeling of my bones cracking as they hit the ground, how all the air will leave my body, leaving my limbs in an orchestrated tangle across the grass, like the final pose of an acrobat, frozen on the bed of grass forever.

But there is another deeper part of me that doesn't feel suffocated by the thought of falling - a part of me that imagines nothing of beautifully broken limbs but instead of the freedom that comes with the weightlessness of the air. I am sure that if I look back on this moment in a couple of hours, minutes or even the few seconds that this fall will last, I will realise that falling is the easiest thing I ever did. I simply took one step forwards and gravity took care of the rest. I was flying.

My body pulls against the restraints of Ethan's arms as he uses our downward momentum to lift us high into the sky, his wings angled upwards as we hurtle into the atmosphere. My hair is flattened away from my face and my eyes are held closed against the weight of the moving air around us, but my mouth is agape and my scream is lost somewhere back on the ground. There is a damp chill in the air as we level out but my body is aflame and no clouds touch me. The wind settles into a steady beat against my skin and cautiously, I squint my left eye open.

If I put aside the fact that I am literally struggling to breathe up here where the air has thinned to eggshells and the wind rushes against my face so fast it feels like I am held beneath the currents of a river, I would say that the view is breathtaking. A minute shift of Ethan's wings and he carries us higher into the horizonless sky, hidden amongst the sun-roasted clouds. The world tumbles past me in a haze, the earth a body of green and brown and curling blue veins. The sun feels warm and comforting against the icy shock of the wind.

I tuck my chin into my chest and cradle my hand around my nose, creating an eddy of air in which I can suck in a full breath. I hold my nose in this little pocket, breathe and let the tears slip free, dragged out by the force of the wind and the overwhelming sight of the blue-tinted earth.

I throw my arms out in rapture, stretching them as far as they will go as if I were the one flying in this sapphire expanse. Puffs of clouds explode as we slice through them, churning the fluffy waterbodies, leaving them in streaks behind us. We approach a cloud so dense I fear we may just rebound off it's solid front but we dive through it like Kingfishers into the water, the world around me grey and milky as we are engulfed by the heavy vapour. We break out through the other side, clarity opening my vision once again as tiny droplets of water condense over my arms, collecting and shimmering over my coat before they are plucked from the fabric like ripened apples and dropped to the world below.

Having experienced the beauty below I shuffle myself around in Ethan's grasp to bathe in the beauty above. We are chest to chest now, Ethan's grip tightening once again, one hand cradled under my neck to support my head. His hair, always so unruly and dashed across his forehead is pulled backwards to showcase the soft curve of his ears and point of his jaw. His eyes are ablaze with emotions that only flight can elicit.

"How are you holding up?" He shouts roughly over the high speed winds. It takes a careful straining of the ears paired with some tentative lip reading to decipher his words as they are thrown behind us.

"I... I'm..." I gasp, groping around my head for the right word to describe the emotions I am feeling right now. A single word or the longest speech cannot begin to explain the sensations I feel, so I settle for something simple and completely inadequate, knowing that my eyes cannot lie. "Just amazing!" Unsurprisingly my voice is flung carelessly into the wind, tumbling chaotically through the air before at least a few syllables reaches his ears. We look to each other for a moment longer before I wriggle back into my original position, casting my eyes over the curving earth, a soft blue haze shrouding the planet.

The flight from Barmouth to Russia is respectively quick and seemingly effortless, particularly when you count my interludes of sleep and deep wandering of the thoughts to pass the time. Jack and Ethan alternate flying just above one another, the back flyer gently resting as he is shielded by the efforts of wind resistance, cruising in these soft air pockets. Every half hour or so Jaz would check in with her phone to track our progress towards the Ural Mountains, banking us to the left or diving off to the right as we follow a path dictated by the location services on her mobile leading us to the exact coordinates of our desired mountain.

Some hours later Ethan locates a jet stream overhead and we dip into the draught, letting it sail us over the Russian border. Between breaks in the clouds, flashes of the landscape can be gleaned in these narrow shafts of visibility as it begins to change beneath us. Smooth, flat grass plains give way to pristine, white-fanged mountains biting out of the earth, arching upwards like slumbering giants in the horizon. Everything looks suddenly frigid, barren and dusted in a frosting of snow as the mountains grow and thicken, scarring the land.

The Ural Mountains.

We left the nearest local settlement behind us about an hour ago now, the vertical climbs too extreme to harbour any communities. Our position is fast approaching Peak Kolokolny and Jaz brings us closer to the ground, the air warming somewhat as we glide downward, breaking through the lowest cloud line.

"There, it must be that one!" We are flying slow enough for her voice to be heard and I track her pointed finger to a singular peak amongst a tumultuous ocean of cresting waves. It stands alone; cold, white and jagged.

Peak Kolokolny.

We take a sharp dive like a hawk chasing its prey, Ethans wings brought in tightly against his body, two short discs beside us as we fall with dizzying speed. He spirals, just for effect I presume, but it is the most exhilarating moment of my life; the most alive I have ever felt. His wings extend suddenly, just shy of us impacting with the earth and the wind catches them like sails in the breeze. We shoot forwards, so close to the sporadic plain I could almost touch the few long mountain grasses that dare to grow. We fly a little further forwards towards the gentler southern face of the mountain, easing our way up-hill until the sparse vegetation is covered by a layer of snow. I lurch forwards in Ethan's hold as he beats his wings thunderously, slowing our approach until we hover momentarily above the crunchy snow.

I am gently lowered to the ground, the power of Ethan's wings swirling a small tornado of snow, shrouding us in sheets of clean, white powder. I shield my eyes as tiny ice crystals cut through the air, a glittering sound sparkling through the air. Then there is silence. I wobble for a moment on my jello-legs, compacting the snow with a hiss beneath my boots.

Not a moment later, Jack sets Jaz down with the same ease and gracefulness as Ethan did no more than a dozen meters away. With the adrenaline rush quickly subsiding and the reality of the situation becoming apparent, it doesn't take long for reality to take hold and the severity of the temperature to set in - it is cold.

The boys seem unfazed by the wintry weather as they remain shirtless amongst the snow, hands on their hips and assessing the area with narrowed, critical eyes. Their wings are still open behind them and as they stand there I could almost mistake them as an accessory to the landscape, like some long forgotten mythical creature of the snow.

I take the moment of solidarity - with the boys in quiet discussion and Jaz lost in her vacant expression - to look around at the world I have just landed in. And it is beautiful. It is every cliche of a winter wonderland in a single view; gently falling snow materialising from the lifeless, pastel sky, the few remaining evergreen trees with sparse needles and branches bowing under the weight of the snow, the ordered chaos of the peaks of surrounding mountains tinged blue and purple on the horizon. I sigh softly and a cloud of water vapour spirals from my lips, floating and tumbling through the air in rhythmic patterns like the ribbon of a ballerina before it dissipates into nothing.

Ethan's shoes gnaw at the snow as he approaches Jaz and I, stealing my attention from my hypnotic plumes of breath. "Are you two okay if Jack and I shoot to the nearest down? There are some strong wind currents higher up that will take us to a town in the east in only about fifteen minutes. We will be back before you know it and with extra clothes for the night and food. It is of course extremely rare that we would ever leave you alone, but this is the furthest place from civilisation and any animals you encounter at this time of the day will be harmless. Plus it saves having to make two trips."

"Just hurry back," Jaz retorts with a runny, pink nose.

"Are you sure this is a g-good idea?" I chatter, mostly because the sole idea of being left alone in the middle of a Russian mountain range is not sounding all that great.

Ethan steps forward anxiously and finales with my fingers for a breath. "We will hurry. I don't want to leave you out here a second longer than I have to," he whispers. I nod, my worries sedated for the time being. Jack eyes the small space between Ethan and I suspiciously but before I have time to fully catch his features, it is masked over with neutral indifference.

Ethan's wings fan beside him once again forcing the sharp air into my face as he lifts into the sky. I hide my face in my jumper like a turtle tucking into it's shell as the two angels are thrown into the wide expanse, lost as they are carried away on the winds.

After the sound of beating wings dies into the distance and the world doesn't seem so much like a shaken snow globe, I emerge from my jumper and I walk Jaz over to a bare rock peaking out from the snow just downhill.

"You o-okay, Ali?" Jaz stutters through tight lips. I pull the zipper of my jacket higher, but it is really my extremities that are suffering. I stuff my hands deep into my lined pockets.

I make a conscious effort to imagine that I have the hot sun beating down on me, a dry desert kind of heat ruffling my hair to sooth my chattering. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"It's ju-just a lot to take in and y-you're taking it so well," she answers, eyes scanning the bizarre landscape. I clench and unclench my fingers to keep the circulation pumping but laugh a little at her comment.

"Have some faith in me. I c-can handle a lot more than I'm g-given credit for," I strain, laboriously pushing the words out of my mouth as I snuggle further into myself.

The temperature seems to drop again as a ghastly wind kicks up and the snow begins to swirl, weaving into our hair and melting tiny droplets of water against our warm skin. My hair and scarf become damp quickly and I find that the water combined with these temperatures and the open winds do not make for a comfortable combination.

A soft tingle settles on the back of my neck and I initially dismiss it as the chill of the snow working its way around my body. But this is not the sharp needle of cold, it is something more akin to a burning awareness; a kind of hypersensitivity and it makes me suspicious. Of what? I don't know. I shift my eyes across our barren surroundings and the sensation slips away unnaturally quickly from my body. Moments later, there is a soft humming in the air.

I tilt my head skyward, squinting through the bright glare of the snow and sky to see Ethan and Jack gliding down the mountain. They land almost silently save for the whirring of snow over the ground as they fly in and I am pleased to see plastic bags filled with necessities dangling from their wrists. This time, they are clothed appropriately.

"Glad to see you joined the majority of society and decided to put on a shirt," Jaz snickers, even if there are two hand ripped slits running down the back of their jumpers.

"Here." Ethan makes quick work of rummaging through his bag, the plastic bag so out of place in an area ruled by nature. I shiver lightly where I stand as I wait. He takes out two additional jumpers (you can never have enough jumpers, he says) and a fleece coat, a beanie with watching gloves (which for me is the best buy yet) and extra socks (in case mine get wet from the snow). I take the items gratefully and instantly pull the beanie over my head and the gloves onto my hands. The gloves, striped in red and dark blue, are too large and slip down my wrists.

"I'm sorry, some of the clothes might be a bit big; they were the only sizes they had left. And from the men's department," he admits apologetically. I give him a faux put-off look. "You would have thought that a mountain settlement would have a great choice in winter stock!" I laugh his worry away and slide one of the snow gloves off, digging around my coat pocket for what I believe may still be inside. And it is - two elasticated hair bands. I take them out and slip them over my wrists, securing the gloves in place.

"No, no. It's perfect. Thank you." And it is perfect, my fingers tingle in the warmth. Holding my breath (I don't know why I hold my breath) but I yank the zipper of my coat down and tear my jacket off so I can slip the large man's feel even over my jumpers, my scarf tucked safely beneath. I slip my coat back on and roll the long sleeves of the fleece up so they don't dangle out of my coat sleeves.

Ethan's contemplates me for a moment and then reaches out for my beanie, gently tugging it down on one side to even it out. The warm lining is soft against the cool shell of my ears and my cheeks flush peach as he tucks a loose strand of hair back into my woven beanie with a delicate touch.

"Thanks," I whisper shyly, fixing my gaze on his chest to avoid catching the heat of his eyes. I sense him smile above me and his hand slides away, lightly skimming the side of my cheek for the briefest of moments as he disappears and I wonder whether it was an accidental touch or a purposeful one.

As I follow Ethan a few paces behind, I am happy to see Jaz wrapped in an outer layer of equally ill-fitting clothes and we take a couple of seconds to laugh at each other. The sun, although not due to set for a few more hours, is on its course downwards and I silently thank the angels again for my beanie and gloves.

"Where are we sleeping tonight?" Jaz questions looking obviously less pallid with cold now. For some reason I had imagined us lodging in some mountain cabin - quaint, wood panelled, smoke curling from a chimney - although I have recently come to realise the impossibility of this fantasy.

"When we were flying back in Ethan spotted a cave just uphill, around the bend to the left. We can get a fire started with some wood I bought and then search for Thessaly in the morning," Jack suggests, pointing upwards. My eyes follow the direction of his finger but my head spins at the height of the summit and I look back to the ground, pushing a lump of snow around with my boot.

But apparently the cave isn't far and at the prospect of fire and sleep, Jaz moves off, walking up the gentle incline. Jack is right behind her and I take a deep breath, readying myself for the next part of our journey. Ethan comes up behind me, looking up the mountain with me. His hand slips around mine and he smiles, pulling me forwards.