7

Forgotten love

Levi and Shizue were not okay and that has been really putting a dampener in Eren's birthday celebration, not that he paid much attention to it. Hanji on the other hand was a different story.

"Are they freakin serious?! Did you know how much effort I spent on this?" Hanji growled stabbing the meat infront of them.

"Didn't captain Levi pay for this?" Jean asked as he puts down his drink.

"Well... technically yes. But I'm gonna pay him back!" Hanji defended and brought their gaze back to the raven haired man who sat faraway from everyone, only having his drink to keep him company.

Mikasa sighed. "It's so weird to see Shizue-san so... quiet."

Sasha nods her head aggressively. "That's right! I took her potato the other day and she let me! She didn't even fight back!" After saying that, Sasha raised her plate for a third serving.

"That's because Shizue-san always lets you have your food, Sasha. Nothing new."

"Still..!"

"I know!" Hanji suddenly snapped their fingers as an idea pops in their head. The squad immediately turned their attention to the commander. "Let's just get them super drunk."

Needless to say, it was a bad idea. For all of their sake.

A week has already passed since that day, and Shizue did not stop trying to talk to Levi. But no matter how hard she tried, she was only met with nothing but silence, or  a door slamming in front of her face. She held  an enormous amount of patience, especially for Levi. But everything still has its end.

Shizue grew tired of trying. She did what she thought Levi would've wanted her to do, that is to leave him alone. There were minimal to no communication at all between the two. And if they happen to be in the same room, the atmosphere becomes so thick, it suffocates the people in there with them.

Levi poured himself another glass of whiskey, his eyes never left the strawberry-blonde girl who sat alone on the other side of the room with a drink in hand. There were dark circles underneath her eyes which proves that she hasn't had a decent sleep in days. Her complexion was pale, as if she hasn't been eating well.

Separating from her was a lot harder than he thought it would be. Levi believed it was what's best for both of them, but he did not realize how hard and painful it could be.

He couldn't rest without ever knowing if she has eaten already, or slept.

It pains him to think she's crying herself every night.

He did not like being apart from her.

He hated not being able to touch her.

The only thing Levi could do was to stare at her from a long distance. That was until Hanji's idea of a drinking game.

Hoping to break the ice, Hanji invented a drinking game to get everyone to have fun, and also in hopes to get Shizue and Levi to talk to each other. This plan went down the drain when Hanji and the squad were the first to pass out.

Seeing there was no longer reason to be in the room, Shizue stood up and headed to the sleeping quarters. Levi watched as she tried to walk a straight line coming out of the room. Although he too had a lot to drink, he couldn't leave her all alone to take care of herself. What if she fell down the stairs?

When Levi got to out of the halls, he got confused because he swore he just saw her got out not a minute ago. That's when he looked down and saw Shizue sitting on the floor with her back leaning against the wall. Levi crouched down in an attempt to get her to stand.

"Let's get you to your room, Shizue." The girl only retracts her hand and looks away.

The man sighed.  "Shizue."

"Leave me alone,"

"You know I can't do that." He said as he tried to grab her arm but she swatted him off.

"Please, Shizue just let me do this. You know I still care about you."

Shizue looked away as a single tear rolled down from her eyes, Levi felt his heart tear. "Liar."

He knew, he deserved that. He deserved to be hated by her. She only wished it was that easy.

"Did I... Did I really do something wrong, Levi?" She sobbed. The tears she was trying to keep earlier has resurfaced. His eyes widens.

"If I just followed what you just said would you come back? I promise I'll do anything. I won't disobey you-"

"No, no, no. Don't say that." Levi raises his hand to cup her cheek and wipes her tears away with his thumb. He couldn't help himself, he cared too much for her to leave just like that.

Levi couldn't believe that all these time, she'd been blaming herself. But it wasn't like that. It was never her fault.

"You did nothing wrong, Shizue. It's just... The way things are."

Shizue was still conflicted, her mind was a mess. She wanted to believe that she and Levi felt the same way in their whole relationship back then. She wanted to know, because if he did, then just why did he gave up so easily.

"Did you... really love me, Levi?" She looks down, not being able to face him. It was as if a sharp blade pierced his chest as he watched how broken she was because of him. His defenses weakened.

"I just want to know, because I love you. I never stopped l-" Levi cut her off as his lips met hers. Shizue felt her heart jump at the sudden action. He slowly pulls away, but his gaze never left her eyes.

The girl cupped his cheeks as she returns the kiss hungrily while her other hand softly made its way to his nape. She slightly opens her mouth as Levi deepens the kiss that rendered them out of breath.

Levi kicked the door shut as he carried her.

The raven-haired figure towered against her as he planted soft wet kisses on her chest, her neck, to her jaw. His cold calloused hand cupped her cheek as he tilted her head lightly and captured her lips. Shizue lets out a muffled moan.

She felt his slender fingers trace a line from her knee down to her inner thigh, caressing the fabric of her waistband before slowly pulls it down. The pink haired grew shy that made her cross her legs abruptly.

Levi raises his head and she was met with his warm grey colored orbs.

"You're adorable." He leans close and plants a soft peck on her lips, and another, before he captured them once more into an intensive hungry kiss.

He broke away, using his fingers to remove th strands of her that was clouding her face. His face slowly becoming clear, his sharp features yet they always appear soft whenever his gaze lands on her.

That night, Shizue treasured every moment, his soft kisses, his touch, his warm gaze, everything. It was as if all her troubles vanished to thin air. All that matters,were the two of them. Her heart was full.

That was until she woke up in her bed the next morning, with no one next to her.

Hours have passed since Shizue got home from jujutsu tech, but she still couldn't forget what happened earlier, and it wasn't just that. Her mind felt like an unsolvable puzzle that keeps getting bigger and bigger, she didn't know what to think, what to feel.

Everything seemed complicated.

So what if he stood up for me against Naoya? I'm sure he already got to their nerves even before he threw insults at me. These fondness in her chest didn't made sense.

He's a stranger.

She didn't even know of his existence until a few days ago.

But why did it feel like this?

Letting out an exasperated breath, Shizue fished my cigarette box from my pocket but the moment I opened it, it was already empty. "Damn it."

She immediately crumpled the empty carton and tossed it somewhere in the room before rummaging through her stuff for a cigarette. Shizue didn't understand why she suddenly felt lonely, she was used to being alone since her mother left. But somehow, she did miss the chaotic nature the squad brought in her life.

They were nice. But she was aware that they're about to leave at some point. They had to find a way to get back. She knew that. Shizue's mind was as messed up as her room as she desperately tried to find her cigarettes.

She was interrupted when there was a sudden knock that came from the door, Shizue begrudgingly walked to the living room and opened it. Her eyes widened, unexpected to see him.

"Levi," His eyes scanned her figure, she was still wearing her uniform as if she didn't have anytime to change, and her hair was a mess.

"I think I left something here, sorry to interrupt.." He couldn't think of anything that she'd been doing earlier. But she seemed too occupied.

"Come in," Shizue just opened the door for him to enter.

"You busy?" He ask, placing a small purple paper bag on her dining table before he went out to the veranda. Shizue unknowingly followed him to the kitchen.

"Not really," she peeked on the bag he just brought, her eyes sparkles in delight. Levi got back holding what seemed to be a clean white cloth. It was the cravat he was wearing when they arrived here.

"Aren't you gonna eat this? Its such a shame if it melts before-"

"Eat it, I bought it for you." Levi said that made her smile. Shizue quickly took out the box and opened them, revealing a huge slice of strawberry shortcake. Her craving for the cigarettes were long forgotten.

When he forgot his cravat in the drying rack, Levi realized it might just be a blessing in disguise, but he didn't want to come empty handed. Luckily, Hanji owed him A LOT of money back then that were...never paid.

Shizue took another bite and couldn't help but see the cravat, neatly folded in Levi's hand. "You could've just ask me to give that to you. I wouldn't have mind."

He knew that. But Levi wouldn't have been able to sleep without this in his possession.

"It's...important." He hesitatingly says, making the pinkette raised a brow before she realized it.

"Oh, a birthday gift huh," The girl nodded.

Levi lowly chuckled. "No. You actually gave it to me."

Yes, it wasn't even his birthday. It was just another regular day when Shizue decided to get him a gift, for no reason. He didn't want to accept it at first because he was trying to spare her feelings , back when he still didn't know he was in love with her as well. But he just found himself unable to reject her gesture.

Shizue was a bit stunned, one because Levi's laugh sounded immaculate in her ears, second is that Levi really treasured something she gave. Putting down her fork, the girl looks at him, curiously.

"Hey, can I ask? What happened to me back then?"

He was caught off-guard by her question while a series of events ran through his mind. He didn't know if he could even voice it out.

Levi was met with her hazel orbs, he just found himself unable to speak. The man abruptly stood up. "I think I need to go back, someone needs to look after the squad."

"Wait." Levi stopped on his tracks, he turned to see the girl who stood before him.

"About earlier... thank you." Shizue looks down shortly but tried to regain her composure.

"of course I didn't need your help with that bastard but... still, Thank you Levi."

The ravenette smile gave her a warm smile, something she never saw that often. "I know how much you care for your brother, and I know you still do. I just couldn't let anyone disrespect that." Shizue was lost for words.

"Good bye, Shizue."

_____

Paradis

Rain heavily poured down at the heart of Paradis. The cold air claimed the surface, many people chose to stay inside their sleeping quarters, and the officials were occupied on formulating their strategy for the upcoming mission. A severely distressed ravenette stormed out the headquarters and left. He didn't know where to go but he kept walking to wherever his body takes him.

"Levi wait!" A voice echoed through the forest which Levi was convinced to ignore, but Shizue still followed him no matter how drenched they got.

"Levi-"

"Stop!" The man fiercely turned to her which stopped her in her tracks. Her tears continues to stream down her cheek as it was washed by the rain. She was desperate to talk to him, she needed answers. But Levi was just as eager to push her away.

Even though their  relationship has gone to end, Levi had a hard time letting go of her that he still tried to protect her from everything. He wanted to do everything for her, he wants to be the only one to be by her side whenever she felt down, but he couldn't. Because he made his choice. And because of this, their relationship has been more entangled that Shizue didn't know what to think anymore.

"This is wrong... Shizue, I can't-"

"You can't what? Tell me, Levi." Her voice broke, a pool of rage and dejection swirled within her chest. She didn't want to be angry.  At the moment she had the right to be angry.

" I'm so tired of you making me feel like this. You said you loved me, that I am the most important person in your life and the next day you decide that you can't be with me, that this is wrong!"

"This is wrong! We're soldiers! And were fighting for the fate of humanity." He burst out.

"Stop giving me the same bullshit over and over again!" She yelled. "Yes I know how important our jobs are but why can't I be selfish for once? Why can't you? Levi, that night-"

"That night was a mistake."

Shizue felt her whole world stop. She thought they finally had something, something that proved their love for each other, that it wasn't just some make-believe thing.

"I'm sorry,"

She knew it was real, or at least, she thought it was. But Shizue refused to accept it. He said he loved her, there's no way Levi would do something like that and call it a mistake.

"Levi..."

"We were drunk, Shizue.  One thing just led to another and-"Levi felt a painful sting against his cheek. He didn't say anything. He only kept his gaze down on the ground.

Levi knew if he saw her wounded expression, he wouldn't be able to control himself.

He may have lied through his teeth. But it was what's best for both of them. Their lives were devoted to freeing humanity, they're in constant danger. This would save them for the devastating fate that awaits them both.

"Just tell me one thing, and I'll ....I'll never bother you again." Shizue wiped her tears as she kept her gaze on the ravenette man.

"loving me... was it really a mistake to you?"

Levi looked at her, eyes devoid with any emotion.

"Yes."

The moment he left, the girl stood under the cold rain unable to move. In the end, no matter how hard she fought, how desperate she got, it was all for nothing. The very person she treasured so much, disappeared.

Weeks had gone by, Levi and Shizue never spoke once. Even as much as look at each other, nothing. It was worse than they first separated. This didn't go unnoticed by their peers. The two superiors who used to always stuck by each other couldn't even be in the same room any more. Shizue also had a hard time being the person she once was, and only spoke to them if necessary.

Levi became more cold and uptight with his squad. And no one had the audacity to talk to him and that point. No one.

His grey orbs observed her as they prepared for the raid on Liberio. Levi ceased his urge to come near her. He wanted to tell her to be careful, or if anything happens, she had to put herself first, knowing how protective she can be with her juniors. But never got the chance to say anything as she walked away.

The time has come, everything was set and planned firmly up to the very last second. Nothing else could've gone wrong. Except for one thing,

miscalculations.

Every soldier regrouped towards their flying boat using their gears after the attack but one soldier never made it to the ship. A soldier cam flying down as two warrior candidates made their way to the enemy base.

"Do you hear that?" Sasha heard a thud within the celebratory cheers of the soldiers.

"It's time to celebrate!"

"Yeah!"

"Hey cut it out!" Jean hissed.

"Come on Jean, loosen up a bit." Shizue lightly laughed, making him red in slight embarrassment.

While looking through the crowd, to make sure everyone in the ship were complete, the woman caught sight of a kid who manage to enter the ship, she was holding a rifle. Her eyes widened when she saw the brunette.

"Get down!"

A loud shot echoed throughout the cabin, and Shizue's body moved on its own as she pushed Sasha to avoid the bullet. The shot was fired. Levi felt uneasy all of a sudden as time froze within the ship.

"Vice-captain!"

"Shizue-san!"

A group of enraged soldiers charged against the two kids, receiving countless of assault from the scouts. Shizue was known by a lot of young soldiers the moment they enter the scouts, she was the one who took care of them and learned a lot of things from her. So the assault against her struck them deeply.

She was paralyzed in fear, everything hurts. Pain travelled through her body, her hand reaches up to her abdomen, and there was it. It stained her hands. Blood.

Jean's eyes were wide in terror as they watched their superior be treated by their own, but the puncture was too deep. As Sasha worked to bandage the wound, her body continued to bleed through it. Her eyes filled with tears as she tried her best not to weep in guilt and just focused on saving her life.

All she felt was her superior's cold hands caress her cheek, Shizue found herself unable to speak as blood pooled from her mouth, but her eyes showed her very clear what she wanted to say.

Shizue saw her life flash before her eyes, most of them contained of the person she loved most. While she knew the dangers of her job, not once she had pictured herself dying. She was glad to be of help to the people, especially them. She swore to protect the young soldiers as they take on this path, that no more of them would die young. A single tear escaped from her eye.

She only wished that dying isn't this scary.