Jujutsu 0

Clean

[Warning ⚠️: Mentions of suicide]

"Aneki!"

A young Shizue Yamada looked back at the Kamo estate one last time, she lost the strength to walk away the moment she saw her little brother in tears. It was too much for the young boy to handle, his own mother was just banished, and now his older sister too.

The only person he only considered family.

"Please...don't leave."

Noritoshi's mother was abused and bullied by every clan member for being the mistress of the clan head, unfortunately, Shizue held the same fate for being an illegitimate child from another woman. She knew it would've been different if she agreed to reside with her mother who was very well of, but the thing is, she couldn't just leave her brother alone.

But she was bound to, at some point.

"Come on, don't cry." Shizue smiled softly as she crouched down to his level, the boy continued to let out quiet sobs.

"You said you wouldn't leave!" The boy yells at her in anguish.

The older sister sighed. "Yes, I won't be living here anymore. But I promise, I'll still help you train and I will visit you everyday. How does that sound?"

Noritoshi didn't want to accept it. The only thing he want is to be with her no matter what, he doesn't want to be apart from his sister. But, that was his only option. And with a heavy feeling, Noritoshi had no choice but to agree with her terms.

"You promise?"

Shizue smiled as she patter his head comfortingly. "Of course. I will never leave your side, Noritoshi."

___

Suguru's hands reached for the sliding door and opens it only to find an empty classroom. His other hand held a bag full of sweets. As he looked out the window, he caught glimpse of a certain strawberry-blonde female sleeping under a tree. A soft chuckle escapes his lips, he climbed out the classroom window and made his way towards her.

As he got closer, Suguru realized she held a cigarette between her lips, thought it was no longer a cigarette but a stick of ash. The man clicked his tongue as he reached for the filter and threw it away.

"Wake up, Shizue." Suguru spoke softly and gently poked her cheek. The girl begrudgingly opens her eyes and tilts her head up upon seeing a huge figure towering her. Shizue's eyes lit up.

"Suguru?" The man smiled and sat himself beside her. Shizue raised her brows as Suguru placed a paper bag on her lap.

"A store just opened up near my place, it has all your favorites." Her eyes gleamed the moment she saw the contents of the bag filled with sweet treats. Suguru really didn't have to, but for Shizue, he was willing to spoil her with everything she likes. And during missions, Suguru always had to make sure he had at least one butter candy or a gum in his pocket.

"Please tell me I don't have to share this with Satoru." He laughed at her statement.

"Of course, I bought that for you. But you should really hide it well, that guy has an abnormal sense of smell when it comes to sweets." Shizue chuckled as she stuffed the bag inside her oversized jacket.

"Copy tha-"

"Yo! What do we have here?"

"AH!"

A white idiotic blur suddenly popped between them that Shizue, out of reflex, punched the guy that only happen to be Satoru.

"Ouch! Shizue!"

"Sorry!"

Suguru chuckled at the sight, the white haired man was pouted as he kept rubbing his cheeks , while Shizue felt guilty and gave his a butterscotch. "Sorry, but it was your fault Satoru,"

While the the two were busy, Suguru took advantage of this moment  and stole the cigarette box that was hanging on Shizue's outside pockets and tossed it up to which Shoko immediately caught and stuffed it in her coat.

The two second years gave each other a smile of victory.

It's been almost a year when Suguru tried to convince Shizue to quit smoking. Though Shizue was always a beaming ray of sunshine, everything goes south whenever they talk about quitting. But it didn't stop Suguru of persuading her every chance he got. And when that didn't work, he formulated a very effective solution.

Taking the problem away.

"Hey..." A moment later, Shizue started checking on her previous spot trying to find something. "Did you guys saw my cigarettes?"

The three innocently shrugged in unison.

"Maybe you finished them all?" Says Gojo trying to keep their cover. It didn't work all the time, but it was close to perfection. Because remembering things is not one of Shizue's strongest suit.

Shizue stopped checking her pockets for a minute. "Huh... I didn't realize."

___

"I'm pretty sure Yaga-sensei stole my cigarettes." Shoko heard Shizue mumble as the two of them waited on a bus stop. The brunette held back a chuckle.

"Yep, I think that too." She responds.

It has been quite a while, and Shizue was starting to get bored. And what's worse, she didn't have anything to smoke. Even Shoko didn't have any cigarettes she can borrow. She said maybe Yaga-sensei also stole hers'. Another hour has passed, Shizue's patience was starting to run low.

"Remind me why we're here again?"

"My cousin is an assistant sorcerer in training and they're transferring to Tokyo, we're picking them up." Shoko says.

Shizue's eyes pans at her. "Ya' think they're hot?"

Shoko looked at her oddly. "It would be weird if I look at my cousin that way."

"What? No it's not."

"It is."

"Just tell me, are they single-"

"SHOOOKOO!" A huge gush of air ran past against Shizue like a blur. A certain brunette with a ponytail and glasses wrapped Shoko in a bone crushing hug and lifted her in the air. Woah, they're strong.

"Nice to see you too Hanji." The short-haired greeted. Shizue thought Shoko was used to them as if lifting her in the air is just a normal occurrence for her.

As soon as she was put back on the ground, she wrapped her arm around Hanji and turned them to face the pink haired girl. Hanji's eyes widened in surprise.

"Hello, I'm S-"

"Shizue..." They spoke without even blinking. Hanji couldn't believe it, their late friend who died in  battle was actually here, alive and well.

Even though Hanji didn't always believed in reincarnation, being reborn in this world told them otherwise. Hanji still remembers their former life, but they couldn't say the same for Shizue. Because if she did, Shizue will recognize them in a blink of an eye and everything will turn out differently.

"Wait, you know who I am?" She ask. Hanji quickly shook their head. They knew they had to play it safe, I mean they can't just come up to her and tell her about their past life, the titans, the rumbling, because she could think they're crazy.

Hanji told her birth mom that, and they almost got sent to a mental institution.

"N-no! I don't know know you I just heard your name a lot that's all." Shizue's confusion immediately turned to a smug look.

"Well, what can I say. I'm pretty famous in the jujutsu community." She says, as brash as ever.  Hanji's lips turns upwards as they once again caught the glimpse of her colorful personality.

"Alright that's enough." Shoko smacked her head. "Should we go back to the dorms?"

"But I'm hungry." Shizue whined.

"Actually, I'm a bit hungry too. The traffic was insane!" Hanji fumed.

"Alright then, let's go to the mall." Says Shoko.

The strawberry-blonde turns to the person beside her. "Shall we get cake?"

"Sure." Hanji couldn't help but smile. She hasn't changed one bit.

____

Even though Shizue was branded as the reject of the Kamo clan, she never let them get to her head. She knew she was as strong as an ox, and everyone who thinks otherwise challenge her to a fight, see it for themselves!

"Shizue! what the hell!" Suguru and Shoko laughed at the white-haired male after he was hit by a flying cigarette carton, meanwhile Shizue stood in the middle of the classroom with a power pose.

"I'm strong, so I quit! I don't need it anymore." The strawberry-blonde spoke proudly. Shoko starts stashing the cigarette box in her pocket as the ravenette applauded her.

"You could've thrown it in the trash like a normal person!" Gojo barked at her.

Shizue rolls her eyes. "Yeah but what kind of lame announcement would that be?"

"She's right." Suguru still held his neutral smile and agreed.

"Whatever. -Hey! you guys wanna do something later?" Gojo's character immediately changed faster than the speed of light.

"Let's go to the fair!"

While everyone else cheered, Suguru was least enthusiastic about the idea, he doesn't like fairs, it was too crowdy. A lot of crying children and ....fireworks. Shizue on the other hand was very excited.

"Great idea! Let's go there!" It seemed like a normal occurrence for the second years whereas Gojo and Shizue would be at each others' throats all the time but when it comes to their interests they were inseparable, and leaving the two of them alone would be catastrophic.

Gojo looked at the ravenette male across the room. "What about you Suguru?"

Shizue's eyes gleamed with anticipation as she turned to him, but he already had a decision in mind.

"Nop-"

Shizue immediately cuts him off. "He's in!"

___

Suguru didn't want to be in the fair, but he could never say no to Shizue. She has a certain effect on him that Suguru could never decipher the reason why. But on some angles, he already knew, he just didn't want to accept it.

While Shoko and Gojo were busy catching goldfish, the ravenette man patiently stood beside a very angry Shizue with another tennis ball in hand. She took a deep breath, and threw it, completely missing the target for the 30th time.

Shizue was filled with annoyance when a moment later, some small blonde kid beside her threw his ball at the target and knocked everything down on his first try. Suguru caught her eye twitch.

"Why don't we go to another stall? There's a ton of games and-"

"No!" She snapped, surprising them both. Shizue was quick to compose herself back as she clears her throat.

"I mean... No, I want this one" Shizue spoke with a more calmer tone. The man just fought back a laugh. Determined, Shizue purchased another set. As she readied her stance, a crow in the size of a fly emerged from Suguru's shadow and attached itself to the ball.

Shizue concentrated, and launched the ball with her full power. And with Suguru's curse directing the ball, she finally hit the target.

"Woah! Suguru did you see that?! Did you see me?!" The girl looked at him with a gleeful smile. With that win, Shizue won a cute soldier plushie with raven hair complete with a dark green cape and two swords.

"I did it alone!"

"Well done Shizue." Suguru applauded with a close-eyed smile, unknown to her it was actually him who was responsible for the win but of course, he didn't have the heart to tell her that, nor he plans to.

"Honestly, I never doubted myself for a minute." The pinkette boasted as she hugged her plushie.

"That crap was a piece of cake, I'd freakin' like a challenge." Shizue says with a confident grin. Suguru only chuckled upon remembering how red her face got when she misses the target.

Not that long, they met the other second years who were looking for them for hours already. Suguru carefully explained that Shizue wanted a specific plushie.

"Seriously? You guys didn't leave that first stall you went to?" Gojo stared at them as if they were nuts.

"For two hours?" The brunette added.

"Yep," Shizue proudly beamed and shows them the soldier plushie. "I won this all by myself with no help from anyone! Cute right?"

Both of them took a close look at the soldier boy, it didn't seem to be a reference to any anime or cartoon shows so they didn't know why Shizue was so obsessed with it for some reason.

"It looks like a midget." Says Gojo.

"Really? He looks pretty grumpy to me."

"Grumpy midget."

"Stop making fun of it! I'll kill you all!"

___

With all the missions they have faced, the star plasma vessel mission was the one that altered everything.

Riko Amanai's death took a huge toll on everyone, and Suguru has seen it all. He couldn't understand anymore why he was doing this and who was he doing these for. Everyday jujutsu sorcerers die in the hands of these curses. Curses born from people who aren't even aware that their negative emotions puts other lives to the brim .

A lot of things have changed. Shizue was left alone with her thoughts most of the time, she get herself to accept Riko's death. Although they only spend a small amount of time with her, Riko Amai was too young to experience everything she had gone through. She deserved to live, so out of all the criminals and rogue sorcerers in this world, why did she have to be the one who dies.

Days had gone by, Gojo worked his ass off training day and night, and Suguru sank deeper into darkness.

The ravenette man was walking back to his dorm when he saw a certain figure sitting under a tree. She was consistent, every night when he passes by in here she was allways there in deep thoughts. Only this time, Suguru chose to keep her company.

"Mind if I sit?" Shizue was quick to plaster on a smile when she saw him.

"Isn't it late?" He ask, trying to start a conversation.

Shizue just shrugged. "I find it peaceful out here."

The cold air blew against them that made her hug her knees closer. Suguru noticed.

"If you plan on staying here you should've bought a jacket."

Shizue gloomily bought her gaze to the ground. "I'm fine."

He did not believe her.

"Are you?" Shizue couldn't bring herself to answer, because she'd be lying if she said yes.

Both found the silence to be comforting and homely. Suguru felt her scooch closer to him while he took his jacket off and placed them over her shoulders in order to keep her warm.

Shizue and Suguru shared a strong bond, and Suguru always made sure he was close to her at all times.

That is why it broke Shizue, when he left.

Eversince Suguru became on the lose, Shizue found it even harder to keep a strong facade. Always faking her smiles and pretend as if everything will go back to the way it was, that he will comeback but,

she couldn't even get him to stay.

Shizue looks down on the box of cigarettes in her hand, fighting the urge to take one and relieve those thoughts but not even these could solve her problems. And besides, she did promise him that she won't smoke again.

The moment Shizue caught glimpse of her younger brother, she placed the box back in her jacket and quickly put on a bright smile.

"Yo! Noritoshi." The reserved teen only gives her a slight nod.

"Am I finally gonna get to use this blood bag?" Noritoshi says hopefully.

"Hm, we'll see if you're ready. Go warm up first." She says positively in full confidence. As soon as Noritoshi fixed his shoes and went out on the field, her shoulders dropped heavily as her smile faded.

She suddenly felt a hand above her shoulders. "Hey, Shizue."

The girl raised a brow. " Oh? Hanji, I didn't know you arrived." She gave them a soft smile. But the brunette could see through it. She wasn't okay.

"How have you been?" They asked as they sat on the bench beside her.

"I'm good! Noritoshi has been improving a lot. Oh! And Satoru is bringing the new first year tomorrow. Isn't it exciting?" She beamed. Hanji let out a half hearted smile.

"That's nice, but I want to know how you've been doing." They were concerned, and they had the right to be. Although Shizue still greets everyone with a smile and seemed to hold everything in its place, Hanji could see that she was suppressing everything and it is not good.

"It's been years Hanji." Shizue laughed and disregards her own feelings. "Really. I'm fine."

____

Suguru knew he didn't deserve this. After everything that happened, he did not deserve to see her face, and he most certainly isn't good enough to have her anywhere near him as he lived his final moments.

With all his remaining strength, Suguru cupped her face and gently wiped her tears from her cheek. "I don't deserve those tears, Shizue."

"You should curse me at least as I go."

Shizue shakes her head in disapproval. Because even after everything that happened, Suguru will remain one of the people she held close in her heart.

I can never do that...

"You're family Suguru, and you'll always be important to me." His eyes widens before it slowly turned soft as his gaze never left her figure.

No matter what, Suguru Geto will forever hate those monkeys. But he never once held any hatred to those in Jujutsu high school, most especially, Shizue Yamada. She and forever will be the most important person he holds dear in his life. And that will be carved in his soul for eternity.

Shizue looked at him with a sorrow-filled eyes as tears rolled down her cheek.

Life is being too kind to me. Suguru had thought.

Shizue couldn't bring herself to say anything. They were once good friends, he meant everything to her, all of them. So why did have to be like this?

She felt a warm hand above her shoulder, Gojo and Shizue knew, everything has to end.

Shizue had returned to smoking since that day.

The cold night air kissed her cheeks, everything looked so beautiful from above. Shizue didn't know when was the last time she felt at peace. The city light brightens the surroundings, and you could see the cars passing by.

The truth is, out of everything that plagued her mind the only time she felt at peace, is whenever she fantisizes of her death. She tried looked for signs, anything that could stop her from doing it because everyday she could feel herself slowly loosing the will to continue on.

Ironically, the universe did give her a sign, when a book suddenly dropped in front of her in the subway train. Shizue picked it up and read.

The perfect guide to suicide.

That's what brings us all to the present.

Shizue discovered that cutting herself using her own technique proved to be ineffective. So the next plausible thing would be to jump of the highest building. Shizue felt herself smile as she got closer to the edge, she hasn't felt anything like this in so long.

"Hey get down from there!" A small voice yells behind her. Shizue knotted her brows as she turns around.

She was greeted by a small brunette kid with a distinctive emerald green eyes wearing a brown jacket and a maroon scarf.

I didn't need an audience. Shizue thought bitterly.

"Get lost kid." She spat. But the determined kid didn't give up. With no hesitation whatsoever, the boy ran towards her pulled her off the rails by her coat, making her eyes widen.

How is this kid so strong..?!

"Hey! What is your problem!" She barked.

"Are you crazy?! You're gonna die if you jump from up there!" The kid's loud yelling ached her ears.

"That was the plan kid!"

"Well I do not approve it!" He crossed his arms. Shizue stifled a laugh due to their confusing situation. There was some force pulling her towards this strange kid, she just didn't know what.

Once she composed herself, Shizue sat in front of him and dusted her coat. "What's your name kid? And where are your parents?"

The boy raised a brow at her. "I won't tell you unless you promise me that you'll never jump in this building."

Shizue sighed. Fine I'll jump somewhere else.

"And you are not to jump in any building ever! In fact I forbid you to take your life!" Shizue chuckled. She wants to take his words seriously, but he was too cute.

"H-hey! Don't laugh, I'm being serious!"  He fumed at her.

"Alright, alright. I promise." Shizue spoke softly.

"Good." He speaks like an adult...

"Now where do you live. I'm gonna make sure you'll go home and keep your promise."

"Hold it right there. I did promise right? Then you have to answer my questions." Shizue says. The boy didn't like that she was speaking to him as if he was a kid.

"My name is Eren." He stated with such fire.

Eren.... why does that sound familiar.

"Now, lady. Why don't you tell me your problem. Hm?" The boy crossed his arms.

The girl only smiled. "I doubt you understand Eren, you're too young."

That was true. But technically, he still had every memory from when he lived his former life so he is not some clueless little idiot. Which is exactly why Eren followed her when he saw that familiar face on the street, his former vice-captain.

Only to find out she was here to kill herself.

"Well, I don't have the words to make you feel better, or even change your mind about the choice you're about to make." He started, "But I'm sure, if you die here, someone will be hurt, someone will mourn for you, and you...you won't feel any different because honestly... There will be nothing. Killing yourself isn't the solution."

The strawberry blode girl had her eyes glued at him. "Then what is the solution?"

Eren shrugged his shoulders. "No one knows. And you certainly won't know if you're gone."

Shizue was  surprised on how such deep words come out from such a young boy. As if he already had gone through it all, but it did make any sense.

How can you be so sure dying would solve everything? And if you die...then what comes next?

Eren was taken by surprise when he felt a warm hand pat his head. "Well then...thank you, Eren."

Shizue stood up to her feet. "Now, Let's get you back to your parents shall we?"

Eren notice the change in her eyes, which somehow gave him the confidence that she won't do any other attempts on her life, but he can't be too sure. All he could do was hope.

In his former life, Eren Jaeger was responsible for the deaths of eighty-percent of the population, and Shizue Yamada's life was one of them. He knew that mission, it was his fault for dragging the scouts to Marley.

Which is why, he couldn't just ignore it when he could do something that could possibly save her life. Especially after everything that she did for him, and everything she taught him, Eren just wanted to make everything right with her.

A few months had passed since Shizue met that peculiar kid. And for a long time, Shizue fought to keep that promise. There were still bad days, but today was more challenging that any other.

Her delicate fingers traced the outline of the revolver, one bullet in. Shizue puts out her cigarette as she spins the cylinder and flicked it close.

Dull hazel eyes watched the window as the birds flew by. Shizue raised the revolver, pressing it to her jaw.

That was until, a knock erupted from her door. Shizue didn't move, but held the gun tightly in her hand.

The knock went louder.

Shizue lost her patience and shoved the gun to the drawer and marched towards the door, her glare was unwavered.

"Rise and shine Shizue!" The loud voice of Satoru greeted her. Not only that, but a few more bunch of people she hasn't met.

"Shizue-san?"

"Vice-captain!!" Two people threw themselves at her without thinking twice that surprised her without a doubt.

"What the hell?!"