One-Way Ticket to the Old Me

We pack the house up, and even Dad looks depressed to be leaving. He leans into me as I mope on the porch. I take in the last views of the ranch.

“We will use it as a holiday home, as Frankie wanted,” he says.

I nod and smile. “Sure, Dad, Nashville or the Maldives? I don’t anticipate you will be back any time soon.”

“But you can come back to see the friends you’ve made. It’s done you a lot of good coming here. Frankie adored you, and Antony’s crazy about you. Plus, you haven’t called my fiancée once since I’ve been here. Now that’s progress.”

I’m only half listening to Dad when I see Tanner on his horse in the distance. I’m eagerly watching for Tobias. Where the hell is that guy?

Tonight is my final night here, and I haven’t seen him since he came for the will reading. I’ve been holding off calling him, but I can’t hold off anymore—my time’s running out.

I’m pining for him like a love bird when its mate is absent.

When my dad finally goes off to town, I sit in Frankie’s wooden rocking chair and pull out my phone.

Needless to say, Tobias doesn’t answer, and it goes straight to voicemail.

“Hey, Tobias. It’s me, Ella. I’m just calling to say hi. I’m going out with everyone tonight, kind of a goodbye. I hope you’re there. If not, maybe I can see you tomorrow before I set off for my flight late afternoon?”

I get no call back, and when Tanner collects me to go out, I’m once again disappointed to see there’s no Tobias.

“Hey there, good lookin’,” Tanner bellows as I jump into his truck.

The evenings are getting cooler, and I’ve been freezing waiting for his late arse for twenty minutes.

“I should know by now you’re never on time,” I complain. “No Tobias?”

He shakes his head. “Sorry, El, he’s gone off camping. Won’t be back for a few days.”

“Camping?” I shout. “It’s so cold. Where’s he gone?”

Tanner shrugs. “Same place he always goes when he needs to get away, some lake in the middle of nowhere. He fishes and cuts himself off, I don’t know.”

“What does he need to get away from?”

Tanner takes his eyes off the road and smiles at me. “Come on, you’re a smart girl. You know what he’s hurtin’ over.”

I keep my eyes on the road ahead. I know Tobias has disappeared because of me, but I hate the thought of it.

“Will he be okay?” I ask.

“He’ll get over it, eventually. Now, don’t you worry about my brother—he’s a big boy. Tonight is your last night in this here town.”

“I know, I can’t believe it. I’m starting to seriously regret my decision.

“Come on, you’ll be back, won’t you? You better make use out of Frankie’s place, or I might just start to squat in there.”

“I sure will be, and if I get a hint that you’ve been in there, you will be in big trouble.”

“Oh,” he chuckled, “I’ll dream of you when I’m lying in your sweet-smelling bed.”

He’s such a tease!

We meet Sara, Lee, and all the others at the honky-tonk. There’s a live singer on, and for a second I think it’s Tobias singing, but when I look to the stage this guy isn’t a patch on my cowboy.

I can’t get Tobias off my mind. Everywhere I look, I think I see him. If my phone flashes, I’m checking for a message from him.

I can’t not see him before I leave. I have to speak to him before I get on that plane tomorrow.

Sara keeps plying me with shots, and when I start to feel suffocated by the crowd, I head outside.

I pull out my phone and check my socials. I go straight to Tobias’s page, and there is my message—a video of him singing a new song he’s written. He put it on about ten minutes ago.

I try to listen, but it’s difficult to catch the words with the noise around me, so I move to a side street where it’s quieter.

“Hey there,” comes a loud voice, making me jump.

I look up and see Jackass Jeff.

~Fuck, what the hell is he doing here?~

“Oh, hey,” I smile as I put my phone away and start to head back toward the busy street.

“Not so fast, darlin’,” his friend says as he stands blocking my way. His chest is pumped up to make him more intimidating. He just reminds me of one the pigeons that prance around London.

“Look, my friends are waiting for me,” I mumble. Internal panic starts to set in when they both crowd me.

“Oh, see, that’s the problem with girls like you,” Jackass says in a harsh tone. “You go for these guys who have nothing more than muscle about them. Us guys with the brains don’t get a look in.”

I look him in the face. No matter how scared I am, I will not look away.

~Look your fear in the eyes~, I repeat to myself. To them, I appear confident.

“My friend is waiting for me. Move or I scream.”

“Oh, is that right?” Jackass whispers as he moves closer to me.

His friend smiles. “No one will hear you down here, darlin’, and we’re going to have some fun.”

“You think I won’t shout from the rooftops if you touch me, Jeffrey Norman Lewis? See, guys like you don’t get a look in because you’re dickheads.”

Jackass strokes his hand down my arm, and I feel physically sick. I step back and balance myself by putting my dominant leg back. I’m ready to swing for this guy if he doesn’t back off.

My fists clench by my side, preparing me for the blow.

Then my phone rings, and it throws them off guard. I take the opportunity as I barge past them and run for my life. Luckily, I’ve been practicing.

When I get back to the honky-tonk, I see Sara and tell her what happened. I’m shaken up, and the guys go out to look for Jackass and his friend.

I don’t know if they would have done anything or if they were just trying to scare me. Tanner says he will take me home—it’s late anyway, and I’ve had a great night, bar Jackass and his friend.

I’m in Tanner’s truck when I finally check my phone.

“Oh no,” I say as I look at my missed call.

“What’s up?” He asks.

“It was Tobias who called when those guys got distracted. He’s my hero even when he’s not here,” I say, hugging the phone to my chest.

“Gross,” Tanner shrieks. “Why don’t you just stay and marry him already?”

I laugh. “Thanks for the ride, Tanner. You’re my hero too. See you tomorrow before I leave?”

He lifts his cap off his head and nods as I jump out of the truck.

I take a seat on the porch and call Tobias back. It takes a few rings before he answers.

“Hey there, princess,” he says. He sounds like he’s had a drink.

“Tobias, where are you?” I ask.

“Oh, you know. A boys’ weekend was needed. I wasn’t doing too good.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yep, I’m doing great. What about you?” His words are slurred; he has definitely had a few too many to drink.

“Good, but thank God you called. Remember Jackass Jeff?”

“The douche from your course?”

“Yeah, he cornered me down a side street with his friend. It was your call that—”

He interjects. “Wait, he what?”

“It’s fine, I’m fine, but I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t—”

“I’ll kill him. Who the fuck do these rich guys think they are?”

“Tobias, stop,” I say sternly. “I’m fine. Nothing happened, he just acted creepy. I would have punched his lights out if he tried anything.”

I hear him chuckle. “I don’t doubt you would, princess.”

“Anyway, am I going to see you before I leave?”

“Nope.”

His words make me gasp for air. A punch to the stomach would have been less harsh.

“Sorry, I can’t be around for that. It’ll rip my heart out.”

“Tobias, don’t. I can’t not have you in my life. Please don’t cut me out completely. I need to hear your voice and see your face every now and again.”

“I thought you wanted a clean break?”

“I don’t mean cut me out like Edward Scissorhands.”

He laughs. “Did you have a good night?” he asks, changing the subject.

“Yes, I’m very drunk and it was emotional saying goodbye, especially to Sara. She’s been amazing.”

“Well, everyone’s sad to see you go. You came into our town like a wrecking ball and sure stirred a lot of people up.”

I laugh thinking about the tuts and sighs I got weekly at church, and the women who hated me for having Tobias. I sure did make some enemies along the way.

“Yes,” I giggle. “I’m surprised I’m getting out alive. It wasn’t quite so ‘hills have eyes’ as I first thought.”

“Slumming it with the rednecks, hey.”

“Ha,” I giggle. “I love rednecks now. Hell, I think I’m one of them.”

We talk until my body gets so cold that I can’t feel it anymore and I have to head into the house.

I wish he would come and climb into my bed like he has done in the past. What a nice surprise it would be to wake up to him, but I know he’s too far away for that, and although we’re talking, he’s still got his guard up.

I wake up on my final day in Nashville with a hangover. A frickin’ hangover on my last day.

Everybody comes around through the afternoon to say their goodbyes, but Tobias is the main one I wait for, and he isn’t here.

I’m still holding out for his romantic gesture when Dad loads up the car.

“Come on, then, cinders, let’s hit the road,” Dad says as I look up the dirt path, waiting for my cowboy. “He’s not coming, you know. He’s way up toward Kentucky, I heard.”

I nod and take one final look before hesitantly getting into the car. I suppose it’s for the best. If he had come back, I doubt I would have been able to leave.

No, he’s done the right thing staying away.