Memorizing It All for Later

Tobias continues to kiss me, his lips moving around my face, savoring me like he’s also thinking this may be our last time.

I want to cry my eyes out at the thought, and I try to focus on now, on him being here with me.

He backs me into the tree we are standing by and lifts my arms as he removes my hoodie over my head. He exposes my black lace bra, which matched better with my black dress than my pink Pangaia hoodie.

He steps back with an agreeable grin as he lets his open shirt drop to the floor.

“Will the horses be okay?” I ask between kisses.

“Of course they will,” he whispers, his tone is breathless and seductive.

As his hands wander my body, I find myself entirely at his mercy. The control he has over me overpowers my mind and body, and at this moment I want to stay with him forever.

“I love you so much,” I murmur as my tears start to fall.

He doesn’t respond to my words, but he attentively brushes my tears with his hand.

“Don’t cry, Isobella,” he says. “We’ll find a way to be together, even if it’s not right here, right now.”

~I love his optimism.~

I wonder how he can be so sweet about this. I know he wants me to stay, and I know if the shoe was on the other foot I would be so angry with him right now.

I need to go home. These last few weeks without Frankie have been so lonely and painful.

If I were to stay and it didn’t work out with Tobias, I would be alone, and being alone is one of my greatest fears.

Not to mention jobs around here—there is not much I can do to earn money in a place like this.

I don’t even like animals much, apart from the horses, and the country life still doesn’t bode well with me.

He lifts me into my favorite position and I wrap my legs around him. Like his favorite hoodie, I fit just right.

When I’m like this, wrapped around him, I feel so safe and happy. It’s a warm sense that I have never experienced with any other man.

Usually, when I meet men, we are both in it for the same thing, like an unspoken agreement: a night of passion and comfort that ends as the sun comes up.

Come the next morning, neither of us are bothered when numbers or socials aren’t exchanged.

I like this, though. I like the familiarity of his body against mine, knowing what he likes and what turns him on. I’m conscious that it’s me as a person and not just the way I look that fills his penis with blood.

My heart rate quickens as he pushes his weight onto me and starts to unbutton my jeans.

I want him so bad. I can feel the excitement of my body advance as he moves to unbutton his trousers and I can finally touch his bulge that has been teasing me through his trousers since we kissed.

The contrast of his soft, manly smelling body against me and the hard, rough bark of the tree behind sends my head in a spin.

I notice the sun is going down and it’s near dark. A worry of how we are going to get back with no light to guide us crosses my mind, but it’s quickly diminished when his mouth moves down my body.

Before I know it, I’m going, my legs deceiving me by taking me down to my most vulnerable position.

I’m trying to remember everything: the weight of his body on mine, the feel of his working hands on my soft skin, the way the whiskey lingers on his breath, and the tenderness of his soft, dominant kisses.

I cling to his body and drag my nails down his muscular back as he enters me. Then I feel a flutter around my head, and something doesn’t feel right.

“What the fuck is that?” I shout.

Tobias pulls back and looks flustered as I sit up.

“What the fuck?” he sounds as confused as me.

It’s so dark now I can hardly see him in front of me, let alone what the fluttering thing was. Then I feel a sharp jab on my shoulder and fear I have been bitten by whatever it is.

“I’ve been bitten by a fucking snake,” I shout as I jump up and pull my jeans up.

Tobias is still trying to figure out what just happened and stands with his pants around his ankles.

“What?” he says confused. “Snakes don’t fly.”

“What the fuck was it, then?” I yell as I grab my phone from my bag.

When Tobias finally pulls his pants up, he puts his phone light on my shoulder.

“Ah, yeah, you have been bitten,” he says dismissively.

“What by?”

He looks up at the tree and flashes his light around. “I’m guessin’ a bat.”

“A bat?” I shriek. The horses protest at my loudness.

“Nothing to worry about, folks get bitten by bats in their sleep all the time. Most don’t even notice. The marks will go by the end of the night.”

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I’ve been bitten by a bat! Surely I need to see a doctor or something.

“What if it’s given me something?” I ask as my fingers trace the small needle marks on my skin.

Tobias walks close and wraps his arms around me. “You don’t need no doctor, but I might if you don’t get back down there and let me finish.”

I grunt and try to find where he flung my hoodie. It all felt so romantic and exciting a moment ago, but now here we are in the pitch black with no lights around for miles.

“I promise you will be fine,” he tries to reassure me.

“Have you ever been bitten by a bat?” I ask.

He grins and shakes his head. “Nope, I can’t say I have.”

I shove him playfully and he moves toward me and lifts me in his arms. “Maybe you will change your mind about leaving now. They can make you crazy if the venom gets in your bloodstream.”

I can’t tell in the darkness if he is being serious or not.

“Come on, princess, you got to laugh. Only you could get bitten by a fucking bat.”

“Well, I don’t find it funny, Tobias. I could get blood poisoning or anything.”

He helps me pull my hoodie over my head and smiles at me as he lifts my chin. “You will not be getting any kind of poisoning. You’re fine.”

I allow him to kiss my lips and he sits down on the grass and pulls at my hand. I follow, unable to protest.

I’m still on edge about bats when we make our way back to the house. The night sky is black. It’s free of interference from artificial light. The only light is the natural glow of the moon and stars.

There is little pollution or noise in these hilly lands, and I guess it’s like the people here. Some of these older country folks are still free from the internet, websites, social media, mobile phones—unpolluted by modern life.

Once we get the horses settled, we head to Tobias’s house. His dim lamp won’t do.

“Turn on your big light,” I say as I enter his lounge and remove my hoodie. I need to look at this bite in the light. I’m still fearful I won’t be around tomorrow to tell the tale.

“Wow,” Tanner shrieks as the bright light goes on.

“What the fuck, Tanner!” I shout as I pull my hoodie up to my chest. This is the second time I’ve been caught with no top on by one of the Kinsley brothers.

“Sorry, I was just…”

As I turn around, I see him sitting on Tobias’s sofa. A pretty woman is sitting on the floor by the table.

He looks guilty, and I assume we got there just before he could get naked, because to my surprise, he’s fully clothed and looks to be playing some kind of card game with her.

“What’s this, strip poker?” I laugh.

He blushes and there’s another first—he looks embarrassed.

“Your dirty mind will get you in trouble Ella. Why don't you have a top on, anyway?”

“I got bitten by a bat. I need to check it.”

Tanner stands up and laughs. Tobias is leaning against the doorframe grinning.

“And how does a bat bite you through a thick old expensive hoodie like that?” he asks as he takes a look at my shoulder.

I shuffle on my feet. I don’t want everyone to know what I had just been up to in a field with Tobias.

The woman clutching her deck of cards is a good church girl—I’ve seen her listening intently on Sunday mornings while the rest of us her age sit disgraced and hungover at the back.

Tobias chuckles. “She’s worried she is going to start foaming at the mouth. I told her it’s just the brain it attacks.”

“Stop it,” I plead. “Excuse me while I go and look in the bathroom and google bat bites.”

Tobias follows me, grinning. He pulls at my waist as I start to pass his bedroom.

“Come on in here, princess. I’ll take a proper look for you.”

“Tobias, I’m serious, I have anxiety about things like this.”

“Come on,” he reassures. “Let me look and then I’ll take you back to Fran—” he stops himself. It’s one of those moments you forget your loss and it suddenly hits you again.

I smile at him. “Not that any of them will notice tonight. They were all pretty drunk when I left.”

“Stay with me, then?”

My eyes search his. Does he think I will change my mind? I hope he knows my decision is final, and if he’s okay with that, then I’m happy to spend my last few days with him.

“But I will be leaving in a few days,” I remind him. Saying it out loud makes it feel more real, and I don’t want to think about it right now.

“I know,” he replies as he brushes my hair out of my face. “But I would like to give you a memorable farewell.”