Just Can’t Keep Away!

Tobias and I talk about Frankie and the bitches from back home. I feel bad that he had to endure them, and he seems happy when I tell him that I won’t have them in my life anymore.

“You don’t need people like that around you,” he says as he sits close to me. He’s had a few drinks and he’s got his flirt on!

“What are you up to, cowboy?” I laugh as he moves so close that his leg is brushing mine.

“I’m up to nothing,” he smiles.

“Stop smiling at me like that. You know I can’t resist that face.”

“Oh,” he says as he moves closer to me. “You can’t resist me?”

I narrow my eyes at him. He knows exactly what he does to me.

“Don’t go there, cowboy. I will take advantage of you.”

“Sounds good,” he smirks. His hand comes up as he runs a finger gently down the side of my face.

Happy juice flows through me at the overwhelming warmth of his touch.

“Tobias,” I say while secretly craving more of him.

“Shush,” he whispers. “Don’t speak, just follow your heart.”

His lips join mine and my eyes close as he kisses me gently and softly. When his lips move down my neck, I run my hands through his hair.

“Tobias, what are we doing?”

His eyes look up to me from under his long lashes. “I don’t know, but I know I need you. I can’t stay away from you.”

“Well, that’s good for me,” I grin as I lift his head to bring his lips back to mine.

I want to tell him how much he helps me, how he is my heartbeat, and how much I love him, but I still don’t know what I’m doing.

All my decisions have gone on the back burner since Frankie. I don’t want to make any big decisions when I’m all over the place.

He pulls me off the sofa and we head to his bedroom, neither of us speaking, both knowing exactly what we want.

***

The sun’s coming up and we haven’t slept. Between making love and talking, I don’t feel like sleeping and I don’t want to waste time asleep when I have so much here to stay awake for.

“It’s morning,” he yawns as I lie in his arms.

“I know. Who knew you could go all night?”

“Hey, I’ve been told…”

“Go on,” I laugh as he stops. “What have you been told?”

He shakes his head. “Just that I’m good in the bedroom department.”

“Oh yeah?” I say as I pull myself off his chest so I’m looking into his eyes. “Who says that?”

“Just people,” he smirks.

“Oh, I bet they’re all happy the stallion is still available.”

He tuts. “Come on. You know none of them matter to me. I haven’t been with anyone else since you.”

“Apart from that singer woman,” I scowl.

He laughs out loud. “That was a kiss, and all I could think about was you.”

I run my finger down his nose and along his gorgeous lips. “You are the most gorgeous man I’ve ever met.”

His eyes leave mine. “Come on,” he laughs.

“It’s true,” I giggle. “You’re gorgeous and kind. You have such a kind heart. I don’t know how you haven’t been snapped up by some wife material already.”

“Because I was waiting for you,” he whispers.

Our hands link as I think about what my life could be like if I do stay with him: this every night, making sweet love and talking until the sun comes up.

Dad isn’t happy when I finally get back to Frankie’s. I hoped I could just sneak in, but his jet lag has had him up half the night.

“What the hell, El, I thought you said you and him weren’t an item anymore?”

“We’re not,” I snap. “I’m confused. I love him, Dad. I can’t stay away from him. We both try, but something always pulls us together.”

“I don’t like him.”

“You don’t know him. Do you know how much he has helped Frankie? How much he stepped in when Frankie’s own family wasn’t around? How much he’s helped me when I was alone. Not to mention the support he showed me when Carla and Mia were here with drugs.”

His eyes go to the floor. Yes, he should be ashamed. Tobias has shown me what love is. He has shown me what a man’s love should look like.

“When this is all over, you will be on that plane with me, girl.”

“No, no, I won’t be,” I yell.

“What are you going to live off, then, El? Fresh air? This ranch is in debt. I won’t fill your bank account forever. If you choose to stay here when I leave, you choose him, you choose this fucking life.”

“Dad, I love him.”

“I don’t doubt that you do, but I didn’t work my arse off for you to just end up back at the beginning.”

“Maybe this is where I was meant to be all along, what my mother would have wanted.”

His face hardens as he shakes his head viciously. “Don’t you say that. You don’t know what your mother wanted for you.”

“I have learned more about her being here than you ever told me.”

“Don’t throw that at me, El. Being here is hard enough for me. You have no idea how hard it is for me.”

He’s right, I haven’t thought about how hard it is for him, but he doesn’t make it easy when he acts like this—getting on his high horse about my life, pretending like he knows Tobias.

“El,” he says more calmly, “what the fuck is he gonna do, work this dying ranch and the oil fields for life?”

We are both diverted by the door banging. I just catch the back of Tobias, and I shake my head at my dad and head out after Tobias.

“Tobias,” I shout. I have to jog to catch him up, and as I get to him, I pull at his arm to bring him to a halt. “Hey, what you just heard—my dad’s a dick.”

“Maybe he’s right, though.”

~Are my ears deceiving me? Is Tobias agreeing that I’m better off without him?~

“Don’t say that. How can you even say that? You know your worth—you know exactly the man you are, and don’t ever let a man like my dad make you doubt that.”

I pull his face so he has to look at me. His eyes are darting everywhere but on me.

“Hey, even if I do have to go back, you are the most amazing person I have ever met, and anyone that has you for life is the luckiest fucking woman on this planet.”

I follow Tobias’s eyes over my shoulder and see my dad heading in our direction.

“Dad, don’t,” I shout, and he stops a few feet away from us.

“Can I talk with Tobias please, El?” he asks as he raises his hands in a surrender motion.

I scowl at him and touch Tobias’s arm as I leave them to it. There’s no way I’m going to completely leave, though, so I sit in Frankie’s seat on the porch and referee from afar.

It all seems civil, and Tobias doesn’t look angry as he walks back in the direction of his house. Dad smiles as he joins me.

“What was that all about?” I ask.

“I wanted to apologize to him and thank him for having your back.”

I don’t believe that’s all he had to say, but I’ll leave it for now as we have more important things to do today.

We visit Frankie and I put all my daddy issues to one side while we are at the hospital.

Dad knows me, though, and he knows I won’t let it drop. He has made me the person I am, and although I know he has been struggling for years with his own demons, it’s hard to not feel resentment toward him.

This morning was the first time he has admitted to struggling, and I gather it would have taken a lot for a man like him to admit that. Maybe being here will be good for him and warm his cold heart back up.

I head back to the ranch with Tanner. He dropped off some food that Dawn made for Frankie, and they are all feasting back at their house.

I like visiting Dawn and Travis—they’re sweet. I like being in the family unit.

At first, it was all new and a little awkward, but now that the kids are used to me and don’t question me constantly, I feel more relaxed.

Little Marla is my new best friend and automatically runs to me when I enter the house. It feels kinda nice being doted on.

I smile at Marla as my eyes search for Tobias. They finally rest when our eyes meet across the room. He is sitting on the sofa playing a card game with Kayla.

I can only see the back of her, but I can see by the way her body shakes that she is giggling at something he is saying.

“Your husband to be is here,” Marla states.

I swear this kid knows me better than I know myself.

“Marla,” I say as I frown at her.

She giggles and pulls me by the hand toward Tobias and Kayla.

“We want to play,” she demands.

“You have to wait now, stinky,” Kayla replies.

“Can we play hide-and-go-seek?” Marla asks, already bored of waiting for their game to finish.

Tobias sits up and looks at the little girl. “You two go hide, and I’ll seek when I count to one hundred.”

The two girls giggle as they run off, almost tripping over their own feet with excitement. Tobias stands up and looks at me.

“Sometimes I get a half hour before they complain that I haven’t found them. It’s a good tactic for a bit of peace.” He winks.

It’s been a lovely evening, and I am just getting ready to leave when I get a call from Dad.

He sounds worried and says Frankie has taken a turn for the worse. He informs me that the hospital has asked everyone to prepare.