Bad Mistakes

After a bottle of champagne and six tequila shots, the white powder in Carla’s possession is luring me in.

Tobias is back onstage and Carla sets out the lines of white euphoria on the table. I take a quick look over my shoulder to make sure he isn’t around, then I lean in for a line.

~Man, it feels good.~

I sure have missed this high. I know people think doing drugs is stupid, and they are totally right, but those that say it are usually ones that haven’t experienced the pleasure they give. It’s a pleasure like nothing else. Problem is it’s short-lived!

“Hey, girl, I have missed you,” Carla shouts as we jump around on the dance floor. “Come back home with me next week,” she pleads.

I stop jumping. Her words almost knock me off my feet. I had forgotten about the decision hanging over me, the reason she is out here. Then Tobias starts singing a song that has my eyes going back to him.

I cannot believe he’s singing James. Tobias didn’t even know who he was until a few weeks ago when I played it and told him it was my favorite because it’s the only connection I feel to my mum.

I had told him the story about how my dad used to play it all the time when I was small. He would come home from work and when he thought I was sleeping he would sit and play this very loudly while drinking whiskey.

It’s one of the most prominent memories I have and the only time my dad ever made a connection to my mum. He never spoke about her or told me anything.

A tear escapes my eye as I watch. How can someone get me like he does? It’s like he has been put here to complete me—the missing piece to my puzzle that has always been incomplete.

I blow a kiss to him as I trip up the steps to the balcony.

~Pretty off my face right now, but loving life!~

“I fucking love that guy,” I yell to Lee, who is upstairs with one of their friends.

“Glad to hear it, darlin’, but you might want to sit down,” he says as he leads me to the sofa.

Carla drops down next to me and snarls at Lee like a hissing snake.

“Where is that hot piece of ass?” she bellows as the guys come up the stairs. “Oh, now we're talking,” she adds as she spies them coming up the stairs. She prepares to rise in her drunken state and has her peepers on Tanner.

“Watch out, Tanner,” I shout as she approaches him.

He turns as she pulls his neck down and kisses him.

The girls got balls of steel. Luckily, Tanner’s up for it and reciprocates.

I leave Tobias to speak to some friends and go off to talk to Lee. When I return, Mia is hanging around my cowboy like a dog in heat!

~Talk about girl code being violated!~

I march over to her and muscle in between the two of them.

“Hey, handsome,” I say as I take Tobias’s face and kiss his lips.

She grunts something and takes a step back.

“I can’t believe you did my mum’s song,” I say as I pull his face close to mine. I hope he can’t see how trashed I am.

“More of the goodies before I go ride a cowboy,” Carla yells as she waves her little bag of white powder around again.

Tobias’s body tenses and he grumps off to get himself a drink.

“One for old times,” she says as she passes me the rolled-up note.

I lean over and take a line, it feels great as it instantly hits, but as I sit up, I see Tobias’s face.

He is not happy with me, and he shakes his head to show me his disappointment. Then he turns, lays his full drink on the table, and heads down the stairs. I get up and attempt to give chase.

“Tobias,” I shout as I fumble to grab my bag. “Wait.”

I think I’ve lost him when I get out onto the street. It’s busy out here tonight, and there are a lot of people spilling out of the neighboring bars. The sounds of chattering, singing, and music fill the air.

I look frantically for him. The street is spinning, and I feel like I’m going to pass out. Then I see him, standing against the wall, watching me with the same disappointed look on his face.

“Tobias,” I say as I move closer to him. I can hardly stand.

He marches toward me with his angry face and stiff lips. “Get the fuck back to the room,” he snaps as he clasps my arm harshly and pulls me in the direction of the hotel.

“What’s your problem?” I gripe.

“What’s my problem? What’s my fucking problem?” he yells.

I pull at my arm as I try to evade his grip.

“Not gonna happen, princess. You’re coming back with me.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are, Tobias Kinsley? You’re not the boss of me.”

“Oh, when you’re in a mess like this, I think you’ll find I am.”

He pulls harder and walks faster. My feet start to give way under me. When I stumble, he lets go of my arm and I am left kneeling on the rough pavement of the street.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I shout.

He paces by me, his upper body so stiff it gives the illusion he is big and scary.

“What the fuck was that in there? Cocaine, Ella?”

“So what? I’m a grown-arse woman. No man tells me what I can and can’t do.”

“I’m not just a man, Ella. I love you. You think them girls in there love you? One was trying to make a play for me and the other is plying you with cocaine. You think they are fucking friends?”

I put my hands over my face as the tears start to come. “I don’t fucking know,” I yell back.

Tobias looks shocked by my emotion. I shock myself. Maybe it’s a mixture of the stress, champagne, cheap shots, and cocaine, but I feel so defenseless.

He shakes his head one final time before leaning over me and picking me up off the floor.

“What the fuck am I gonna do with you?” he mumbles as he walks me back to our hotel room.

I burrow my head into his chest and continue to let my tears seep out. We don’t speak on the walk, and he only sets me down when we get into the room.

“You know what, though, Ella, if we’re going to make this work, we need some changes around…”

He sees his guitar I set out earlier. It silences him. I hope it’s in a good way!

“You okay, cowboy?” I mumble. I feel like I’m going to throw up.

“What did you do?” he questions as he walks toward the guitar.

“It’s nothing, just, just a little gift.” I can hardly control what comes out of my mouth, I’m so out of it.

“Little gift? This thing costs thousands. Why did you do it?”

“A gift,” I mumble again.

A loud bang on the door draws Tobias’s attention from the guitar. I can’t move from my spot on the bed—I am still trying to figure out if I am going to be reintroduced to tonight’s dinner or not.

“She’s fine, she’s here,” I hear Tobias say as Mia and Carla march into the room.

“Fuck. Are you okay, El?” Carla asks.

It takes me all my effort to nod my head.

“You better not take advantage of her like this, cowboy,” Mia snaps.

Tobias shakes his head, and his nostrils start to flare.

“Do you mind leaving?” he says harshly.

“Listen, mister,” Carla says as she runs her hand down Tobias’s chest. “She’s my best friend, and I want to check she’s okay.”

“Some best friend,” he mumbles. “And she’s my responsibility while she’s here. She’s here with me.”

“Not for long she won’t be,” Mia giggles.

Tobias looks to me and then back at the two of them. “What are you talking about?” He questions.

I shake my head, but the words won’t come, I’m so fucked up.

“She’s deciding whether to stay or go,” Mia replies with a smirk.

“She’s not spoken to me about this,” he snarls.

“Why would she? You’re her bit of fun, her bit of rough. You think she’ll settle down here? Are you delusional? A girl like Ella likes the fine things in life. A bit of rough sex and muscle is fine for now, but not forever.”

Tobias steps back and looks at me. I can’t even dispute what she’s saying because my eyes are closing.

“Just get the fuck out,” he says in a calm tone. The harshness of his voice shows he means business, and they leave abruptly without another word.

“How can you call them bitches your friends?” he snaps.

My eyes have closed, and I start to gag as I feel it coming—I’m going to be sick. Everything goes blurry and the throbbing in my head feels like I have Ted Bundy doing a practice run on it.

***

When I finally open my eyes again, I breathe a sigh of relief that Tobias’s things are still here.

It’s light and the sun is flooding into the room, making my hangover feel worse. I can’t remember much about last night, but what I do remember isn’t good.

I pull myself up and see the back of Tobias. He is sitting on the end of the bed with his packed bag next to him.

“Tobias?” I say.

He turns and looks at me, his blue eyes so sad.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

“This was never going to work,” he states as he stands and picks up his bag.