Dilemma

My sleep is disturbed again. The only time I don’t sleep well here is when I have a certain cowboy on my mind. I know exactly what’s bothering me this time.

I don’t understand how my own dad can be so manipulative. This is my life he’s messing with, and he can’t just shift the posts when he wants to.

I want to be with Tobias, but I think about ways to break it to him if I do decide to leave.

I know I promised him we would talk about any issues—and here I am already breaking that promise—but we’re so settled. What would be the point in stirring it up if I just stay, anyway?

I’m so confused and as I head to university. I get that feeling of dread thinking about what the day will bring. I don’t like the course—it bores the shit out of me, and this sways me more to going back home.

Then I get a call from Tobias, and I can’t imagine not seeing him or being around him.

He’s my lithium when my mood feels so unstable, my anchor when I’m floating off into bad habits. Corny, I know, but that’s how he truly makes me feel.

I know who will give the best advice on this. I call Carla as I speed back to the ranch along the light, open roads.

“Hey, girl,” she says.

“Hey, girl,” I reply.

“How’s life on the ranch?”

“I have a dilemma, Carla. Me and Tobias are going great. It’s so easy with him—I can trust him, I love him, I know he loves me…”

“Hold up, hold up,” she interrupts in her harsh tone. “Are you using the L-bomb with this guy already?”

I laugh. Carla knows me, and she knows I have never told a guy I love him, but I have never been sure if I did. I know now that whatever I felt before for anyone was not love—not this kind of love, anyway.

“Yeah, we’re straight down the line, no games, none of that shit. He tells me how he feels about me, and we talk. It’s so liberating.”

“Sounds too good to be true,” she replies.

“Yeah, doesn’t it. He’s not like any guy I have ever met, which brings me to my dilemma.”

“Go on…”

“Dad said I can come home, no repercussions. Just slip back into my life like I never left.”

“What?”

“I know, right. He only said this when I told him about Tobias. Apparently, he rang Frankie after kicking shit at him, saying I was going to end up stuck in Nashville all my life with a loser going nowhere.”

“Yikes, sounds intense.”

“I’m fuming with him. He doesn’t even know Tobias or anything about him.”

“And you don’t know what to do?”

“Nope,” I sigh. “I really do love him, and I don’t think I can live without him.”

“Fuck, El. What next? Become a ranch wife—six kids and a cowboy hat?”

“I don’t know. What do I do? Am I being foolish thinking I can stay here and be happy?”

“Honey, you are asking the friend who can’t commit to a handbag, let alone a man.”

“Same,” I laugh. “I used to change my car every six months when I got bored with it, but I can’t imagine ever having enough of him. I need help. I’m going crazy with it all.”

“I wish I was there to help you. Your dad is such a dick, sending you so far from everyone and everything you know.”

“You need to come out here, help me. I really miss you.”

“If you’re serious, babe, I can book a flight for next week.”

I think about her offer. Will Carla being here help or hinder my decision? I feel so indecisive at the moment.

“Sure, if you have the time, then get your booty over here.”

She squeals. “Oh my God, Ella. I’m coming to Nashville, baby!”

I speak to Frankie when I get back and check he is okay with it before Carla books anything. He says he’s happy for her to stay with us for the week. I think it will be good for me and help me decide what I want.

It’s Friday and I have survived my first few weeks of university. I’m still hating it just as much as I did the first time I clapped eyes on the students and module topics.

I’ve been going for lunch with Kelly—the only thing I look forward to on uni days.

She seems to be the only likable person in the course, and we both have an equal hatred for the subject—she also has pushy parents who think they know what’s best.

Carla is due to fly in tonight. Her flight’s coming in late, so Tobias is coming with me to collect her from the airport. I can’t wait until she gets here.

She’s bringing her cousin, Mia. Since Mia wants to go to Florida to meet her friends, she’s flying into Nashville, hanging around for the weekend, then doing the eleven-hour drive down to Florida.

She’s a braver woman than I am, but then, Mia has always been strong and independent.

Jeff the Jackass is still sniffing around me, and he is trailing out of the building behind Kelly and me when we head out of the last morning lecture.

I’m checking my phone when I look up and see him, the most handsome man I have ever seen. I stop in disbelief with my jaw dropped open. It feels so strange to see him here at university.

“I almost didn’t recognize you out of context,” I say as I approach him and rest my hand on his chest. I can’t be near him without touching that fine sculpture of a body.

“Kelly,” I say as I turn to my only friend, “this is Tobias.”

He smiles and stretches his hand out. “Toby is fine,” he corrects as he shakes Kelly’s hand.

Jeff interrupts by lingering. Tobias knows about Jackass Jeff and laughs when he sees him hovering.

“You must be Jeff,” he says to the intruder. Kelly smiles; she knows I hate Jeff.

“You must be Isobella’s cowboy,” he says in a bitter tone as he takes Tobias’s hand.

“Well, I work a ranch, so if that makes me a cowboy.” He laughs and Jackass sniggers.

Jeff is no patch on my cowboy. He’s looking Tobias up and down like he’s better than him.

What I have already learned about this jackass is that he has never had to struggle for anything.

I don’t even know why he’s in the course, since he’s already said he has no intention of ever working in any capacity. I guess he’s just killing time.

My eyes go back to Tobias in his blue ripped jeans and T-shirt, holding his head high because he knows his worth. He doesn’t need money or designer things to prove it.

In this moment, I know exactly what I want.

I want denims and T-shirts, backward caps and sexy stubble.

I want wild, dirty sex with a man I love passionately and who I know I can rely on—a man who would work all day, every day if it meant he was providing and doing his part.

I feel an overwhelming urge to hug him tight, and I cannot hold back.

“Wow, princess, what’s that for?” he whispers into my ear as I squeeze him tight.

“I just love you,” I say softly.

Jackass and Kelly both look to the floor with embarrassment, but I don’t care. I love him, and I want the whole world to know about it.

“If you guys will excuse us, I’m taking my girl for lunch,” Tobias declares as he takes my hand.

“Go for it,” Kelly says, and she smiles and gives me a cheeky wink.

We head into Nashville hand in hand to find somewhere nice for lunch.

“What do I owe the pleasure?” I ask as we sit in the quiet booth at the back of a diner. It’s casual but smells amazing and has great reviews—just like Tobias!

Tobias prefers to go local rather than the upmarket restaurants that he said have recently started to take over the city.

He said he feels self-conscious in the posh restaurants, but I can’t understand why—wherever he goes, the only reason people look at him is because he is so amazingly handsome and they can’t draw their eyes off him.

“I’ll have the meat and three,” he declares. He had that the last time, and I know I would never finish so much at lunch, so I go for the hot chicken.

Tobias whistles as I give the server my order. “What’s wrong with that?” I ask.

“Princess, you obviously ain’t tried the hot chicken in this place. You better get a jug of water to go with that,” he laughs.

“I can handle my hot,” I reply smugly. “I handle you pretty well, don’t I?”

He throws his head back and laughs. “You do,” he agrees as he continues to laugh to himself.

“So, Carla and Mia arrive tonight. I bet they will be knackered after the flight. I can’t wait for them to see you play tomorrow night.”

“I told Waylon to get their names down. Are y’all staying in Nashville after the gig?”

“Yes, I’m staying with you, obviously, but I also booked them a hotel room.”

He narrows his eyes over the table. “You’re presumptuous, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am,” I laugh. “Then Sunday, into town for a few drinks.”

“Showing them some good ole Southern hospitality. Will they be made to go to church too?”

I shake my head. “No way. It would burn down with the three of us heathens in there. Anyway, Mia is driving on Monday, so she will need her rest before that long-arse haul.”

When the food comes, we dig in. He was not exaggerating about the hot chicken; I thought chicken in the Caribbean was spicy, but this was far worse.

No matter how uncomfortable it gets, though, I won’t give in, so I plowed through with my nose and eyes watering like a sprinkler in a flame-engulfed building. His pie looks amazing, and I’m regretting not ordering dessert.

“What are you looking like that at?” he asks as I eye his pie up.

“Looks good. Is it warm?” I innocently ask.

He smiles and eyeballs me from under his lashes as he starts to dig in.

I am about to change my whole life plan when he sniggers and pushes the plate to me.

“Here, have it,” he says.

A guy who gives you his dessert is definitely a keeper in my eyes.

“I’ll just have a taste,” I reply as I take his fork from him.

He laughs and shakes his head.

“Don’t worry, princess. You enjoy it.”

We walk back to my building, and he heads off to the music bar he is down here for.

He’s setting some things up for tomorrow’s gig, and he’s also eyeing a new guitar. I keep seeing him looking at it.

He was online last night ogling it after Waylon told him it was in stock, then he eyeballed it as we passed on the way for our food. I have a feeling he may be sneaking back to treat himself.