Pullin’ My Weight

What Frankie said made me think. He’s right, I don’t want to be shitting on my own doorstep, and I try my hardest to push Tobias out of my mind.

As much as I attempt to, though, I just can’t get that night at his place out of my head. The way he held my hand so tenderly all the way back to Frankie’s, how he started to open up and be himself around me.

I need to deal with this shit, though, because under no circumstance can I become the next Lynn or Deena.

Luckily, he’s working today at the oil field, so I join Tanner and Travis at the stables. I don’t really know Travis, and I’m interested to see which brother he is.

It’s already established that Tanner is the crazy, unpredictable, live-life-to-the-max one, while Tobias is the get-shit-done, take-care-of-everything, sensible one.

“Here she is,” Tanner announces as I walk into the stables in my cargo pants.

“Zip it, Tanner,” I laugh. “Frankie said you wanted some help.”

“Well, what can you do?” Travis asks.

Tanner laughs suggestively, and I slap the back of his head.

“Anything, but I’m not good with animals, shit, or dirt.”

“That rules out everything, then,” Travis says as he looks around the stable. “Can you fill the hay bales and horses' water up?”

“I’m sure I can do that,” I reply as I head into one of the stalls filled with hay.

Travis shows me how to do the first one, then I’m left to do the next four.

I’m on my third horse when I lose all confidence. This darn horse is so mean. It’s banging its foot on the floor of the stall and getting all irritated with me.

“Tanner,” I shout. “I think this horse wants to kill me.”

Tanner appears before me, hanging over the side of the stall. “Oh, that’s Toby’s horse, Jack. He is moody, just like him. Get his stuff done and get out as quick as you can.”

“Okay, if you say so.”

I put my hand up to stroke the horse’s face to calm him, but he pulls back and makes a loud noise.

“You really are like your owner, aren’t you? Are you Tobias’s spirit animal?” I say, and the horse seems to calm.

It’s a crazy idea but I’m sure the horse understood what I was saying to him.

But if he’s like Tobias, he will be unpredictable, so I still get his stuff sorted quickly and get out of his stall before he turns back to the moody stallion he was two minutes ago.

I enjoy doing work at the stables and tell the guys this will now be my new daily routine until I head to university.

They seem glad to have the job off their hands, and I know why when they say I have to do it at the break of dawn, then again around supper so they are settled for the night.

“I might have a couple of mornings off,” I say. “Maybe Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday.”

“Ah, she’s intending to go to all the social events,” Travis laughs, but he agrees that on these days they will cover it.

Travis also shows me the chickens, and I agree to take that job on too. I might as well earn some keep and stay busy while I’m here.

When I get back to Frankie’s, he has left a note to say he’s at the garage with the rusty old truck again.

While he’s out, I decide to make a start on the kitchen. I fill the sink and start to soak the old pots, which look like they have been lying around since 1998.

After the pots are all put away, I find a cloth and make a start on cleaning the filthy doors. I hope he doesn’t take offense at me cleaning his house.

He’s still not back when I’m done with the kitchen, so I head up to my room and take a long shower.

It’s getting late, but it’s still so hot when I see Frankie’s truck pull in. The sky is bright orange, and the view from the front porch is amazing.

“Where have you been, old man?” I ask from my seat on the wooden decking.

He smiles excitedly as he rubs his hands together. “Sorting a surprise for you,” he says as he rushes past me into the house.

I roll my eyes. “What is it, a cordless phone?”

“Don’t be facetious,” he says when I follow him into the house.

“Come on, then, what is it?”

He turns and looks at me. “Did you clean up in here?” he asks.

I nod and his head drops to the floor.

“Is that okay?” I ask.

He nods, and when his eyes come back to me, they are glazed over.

“Thank you, Ella. I know this place is a dump. My Nora would be disgusted with me, but I just can’t bring myself to do it.”

He sits on the chair and holds his head in his hands.

“I want to help you, Frankie. If I’m living here, I need to earn my keep. That means I can help you get this place cleaned up.”

The words coming out of my mouth shock me. Maybe I’m still drunk from last night, but it feels right to take some of his burdens.

He smiles again and touches my face gently. “I knew your mama was still somewhere in there,” he adds.

For the first time, I feel proud to be connected to my mother. It makes me want to learn more about her and be more like her.

***

I skipped the hoedown on Wednesday as I don’t trust myself around Tobias after a drink. Plus, I still had a nasty bruise on my face and didn’t fancy looking like a battered wife in the bar.

It’s Thursday when I head up to the main house to use the Wi-Fi so I can look through Tobias’s and Tanner’s profiles.

I have managed to see snippets, but now I have time to sit and play FBI for a good few hours with my fully charged phone.

I’m shocked when I start with Tobias’s. I don’t recognize the man in the videos: a confident cowboy filming himself on his horse, shirtless in his bathroom.

Most of them are music related, to be fair, and I suppose he needs to give the females something every now and again to gain the million followers he has.

All his comments are compliments, flames, watery mouths—thirsty women, all after a piece of him.

Then I move to Tanner’s profile. As I imagined, his are mostly shirtless shots.

One is of him doing this amazing hip thrust after jumping out of his truck. It got a good thirty thousand well-deserved likes. I even feel compelled to like it myself.

I add them both and laugh at the thought of how famous and sought after these crazy cowboys are.

“Any more hot famous cowboys I need to add?” I message Tanner.

He replies within minutes. “How are you on the internet, did Frankie give in?”

I laugh to myself as I reply. “No I’m outside your dad’s sat in the bushes.”

I hear rustling above.

“No fricking way,” he shouts as he leans out of an upstairs window. “Come in, you will get eaten alive by insects out there.”

I stand up and start to feel itchy. Fuck, I think he might be right.

He is at the door before I get up the porch steps. I’m still brushing my legs at the thought of ants and insects running around on them.

“Just come in if you need internet, or at least sit on the porch. We all share around here. Our home is yours.”

“Is this where you live?” I ask. I never seemed to get a straight answer about Tanner’s exact habitat.

“I do this week,” he laughs. “Nah, this is my main home. I have a room here, but I stay at Toby’s or Travis’s. Sometimes I stay at Lee and Nick’s if I’m going into town.”

“So you’re the wanderer,” I add, and he laughs.

“Face is looking better,” he says.

I pull my hand up to my cheek—I forgot I still had a bruise.

“Yes. Was the bitch out last night?” I ask.

“Is she why you didn’t come?” he asks.

I shake my head. “No, I need to start getting my shit together for uni. Plus, this thing doesn’t look so great in a bar.”

“Yeah, you fit right in with the other hicks,” he chuckles. “She wasn’t there, though. Toby had a word with her, so you shouldn’t get any shit from her again.”

His dad appears from the kitchen, and we all sit on the porch with a beer. We are laughing at Tanner’s silliness when Tobias’s truck pulls in.

“It’s showtime,” Antony announces as Tobias marches toward the house.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

Antony laughs as Tanner runs into the house. “Brother, shit is going down,” Antony chuckles.

Tobias parades past us with his nostrils flaring and his fists clenched. “Where is the little shit?” he roars as he slams into the house.

I make my excuses and head back to Frankie’s. I’m sure Tanner will tell me all about it next time I see him—he’s like an open book and great for getting info on Tobias.